Gilbert is home

[judygram]

What a sweet little face, she is precious.

[katana600]

Thanks Judy, good thing she is cute because she is complicated. :-) As she has been taking this leap of faith and coming away from her cage she is showing signs of stress plucking. I found a little snow storm under her cage last night. Usually, I back away but we have a little more common ground and trust now. We haven't pushed her but in her case just asking for a step up and walking a few feet away in sight of her cage is frightening. Bless her little heart, she is really trying.

[Ray P]

A face of content.

[Acappella]

So nice that you were able to get a picture of her in a more relaxed moment away from her safety zone. She really does have the cutest little face. I love Timnehs. She looks tiny compared to my big grey bruiser of a bird.

[Acappella]

But, at the same time I notice she is at the edge of panic, like when I take her downstairs to the perch in my sewing room. Then inevitably she trembles, pleads to go back and I comply to alleviate her stress.

Maybe she could have her travel cage downstairs in your sewing room to make her more comfortable?

[katana600]

Thanks Marguerite, that's a good idea. Coincidentally, today I bought a very old Singer Featherweight portable to be my upstairs piecing machine. Miss Gilbert does seem so much more comfortable inside a cage than on a perch or away from her cage. This trip, I switched things up a bit at my sister's home. I put super confident, outgoing Java in the big cage we leave set up there. I put Gilbert in the small cage right beside Java on a table. It was the best setup we have tried. I will put the travel cage downstairs and see what kind of response I get from her. We have seen a sweet side of Gil and that could be that she enjoyed the security of a smaller enclosure, which has given her an inner reserve to cope with changes. It's so very complex. She reaches out and seems happy to offer a step up to David. Following that positive encounter, she fell asleep in her cage after a really long session of contented beak grinding. The next morning she chewed off feathers and plucked downy feathers. It's two steps forward and one step back. Even happy changes are stressful. Each time she trusts, she withdraws. Each time she bounces back just a little faster and a little higher. I came home this morning from a brief outing and couldn't wait to see her face again. Overall we are gaining and its worth all the thinking, changing approach, and listening to others with complex characters living in their homes. I can hardly wait until the day she steals my tea mug or rearranges my sewing table.

[katana600]

More pleasant developments in Miss Gilbert as she shakes off the travel dust. We heard the unfamiliar crunching of her rusty attempts at beak grinding a few nights ago. It seems she is just getting her motor running. She has been doing it a little bit at bedtime but has evolved into long content day time perching, napping and an abundance of smooth, sustained, contented beak grinding. In the four years we've known her, she seldom would relax enough to nap during the day. She may sit still in the same spot but one eye is open and she is wary and vigilant. This week she has begun pulling up one foot, burying her head under a wing and enjoying a long blissful nap. She also has been eager when David arrives home to come out of her cage, climb down to the wooden gate and walk to where he is sitting to offer him a step up. After she got nervous when he handed her off to me a couple of times, I have encouraged him to spend time just with her. In the morning when he gets up she quietly and sweetly says "cracker?" That's her request for a piece of his toast. It's a wonder to behold her taking off her shoes and deciding to stay a while.

[Acappella]

That beak grinding is wonderful sound isn't it? Especially in a bird with trust and anxiety issues. As I type, Dorian is sitting on my computer, one foot up, beak grinding away. I remember hearing it for the first time. It was a few years in to his royal highness residence here and I was so happy to be experiencing something I'd only heard about here on the forum. Hooray for Miss Gilbert. May there be prolonged beak grinding and long, unguarded naps in your future.

[katana600]

We are hearing and seeing other interesting sounds and seeing evidence of Miss Gilbert branching out a little. She has been standing on the top far corner of her cage, flapping her wings. She looks like she is lifting off but hanging on by her toenails. She must be doing this about fifty or more times at a stretch. She doesn't want me to see. In all the many times I have heard it, I've only seen it twice. If I come in to see, she quits. If I am in the room and turn my head, she abruptly stops and ducks into her cage. She has been more distrustful of me lately. Since she came here, I have offered her an occasional grape and she generally rejects it and flings it to the floor of her cage. While we were away, my sister gave her a grape once a week and it was devoured enthusiastically. If I offered her the grape first, she tossed it. My sister would pick it up and it was ambrosia. Two nights ago, I offered her a grape,in her cage, through the bars. She took it with great relish. Then, she turned her back, ran from perch to perch to get far away from me where she turned her back and ate it like she stole it. She had juice running down her beak, neck and chest feathers. Last night David was near us when I handed her a grape. I wanted him to see her reaction. Again, she took it with great enthusiasm and ran like a thief to get away from me. David asked her why she does that. She turned to look at him and I walked out of the room. She took great pains to traverse her cage by perches, climbing on the side bars all while encumbered by that grape. Once she got back to the original perch she devoured her treasure while David talked to her. It would be easy to take this personally or feel like I've "done" something to her. Her history has been to distrust and refuse to cooperate with Sarah for 2 1/2 years as well as with everyone in our household. I'm pretty thrilled to see her opening up to anyone at this stage and I do believe trust with one human is going to enrich her life and open the door for her to give me a chance too.

Edited January 26, 2015 by katana600
Darn spell checker

[birdhouse]

Miss G is so very lucky that you're so incredibly selfless. I'm sure she feels it's simply her do. But as another mere human, I've got to be impressed. I let everything Phenix did run off my back for years. But I really don't know how patient I would have been if he was making nice w/everyone else in the meantime. So major props, again!!

 

I just wish you could figure out which little screw was loose so you could finally tighten it already. She's come so far & I think you're right about everyone in her orbit benefits w/each new accomplishment. But it seems like the biggest obstacle is firmly tangled up w/whatever is stopping her from admitting that you're her biggest fan & devotee. It's felt like she was right on the verge for a while now...! But it does make me smile to think how everyone -you, her, people literally all over the world, are going to be so happy when she finally gets there!

[Acappella]

I just wish you could figure out which little screw was loose so you could finally tighten it already.

This brings up an image of Gilbert with a person standing behind her with a little screwdriver tightening up a screw al la Geordie and Data in Star Trek.

Edited January 30, 2015 by Acappella

[birdhouse]

I've had that exact image for years w/Phenix & now sometimes Gil gives it to me, too. "If only you could poke around in their little head, find the problem & tweak it, just enough to make them happy again."

What I think is funny is that you got it in one; Data & all. Obviously I'm not the only Star Trek fan here! lol

[katana600]

Star Trek Next Generation, yes! To be honest, there have been many times, I've secretly thought to myself that maybe Miss Gilbert is mentally ill, that this is the way she has always been and always will be. Sometimes I wonder if my need to fix "things" drew her to me as a cosmic lesson that some things don't need fixing, just left to be. Thanks for the happy thoughts Val, but although I may be patient, I am really not selfless. I am calculating every "friend" Gil girl makes and how I can exploit and benefit from them. Bwahahaha. I do have those tiny little micro screwdrivers and a really big magnifying glass too. If only to find her weak spot. Unfortunately, David fell from favor last night. He has been so smitten by her advances since we returned home. She postured for him outside her cage and he was sure he would be first to experience a breakthrough. She couldn't follow through on the invite for a head scratch and she bit him real hard. Bless his heart, he was still stunned hours later as we were ending our day. He was incredulous that she would bite him after being so sweet.

[birdhouse]

To be honest, there have been many times, I've secretly thought to myself that maybe Miss Gilbert is mentally ill, that this is the way she has always been and always will be. Sometimes I wonder if my need to fix "things" drew her to me as a cosmic lesson that some things don't need fixing, just left to be.

 

Unhappy = Broke & she still needs some tinkering, apparently.

 

Unfortunately, David fell from favor last night. ...and he was sure he would be first to experience a breakthrough. ... she bit him real hard. Bless his heart, he was still stunned hours later as we were ending our day. He was incredulous that she would bite him after being so sweet.

 

If we had a nickel for every time that happened well, we'd be able to pay for all the band aids anyway, right? I always feel bad. But in this case maybe you shouldn't feel too very sorry for him. He obviously hasn't been paying attention all these years, has he? lol

[katana600]

I think what I learned is to give her the time, space, and potential to "fix" herself. I definitely agree she needs tinkering, I just can't take credit for figuring it out and changing anything for her. It's been painful for me not to be able to "do" something for her. My usual thought process is to study something intently then approach from every angle at once in a blitz to find the broken part. I took four bushings out of my Kitchen Aid mixer once without marking them. That's when I learned to slow down, take one little step at a time and be more careful and methodical in my approach. Miss Gilbert has been too complex to figure out. I am learning something new every day from her. I guess this is my turn to be her humble student and allow her to be the tutor and not try to read ahead and guess which chapter we are going to do next.

 

I have to admit, I laughed a little at David's reaction to falling from favor. I've been there before. When she bit me seriously for the first infraction of touching her away from her declared safety zone she was immediately contrite. She was saying she was sorry. It was believable and honestly took the sting out of it. This time she not only was not sorry, she was confrontational and I know if she had the ability to fly, she would have chased him down to bite him again. He was adamant that he didn't deserve that and he thought they were friends. Sometimes in jest he will ask Gilbert what it is that I do to upset her when he is away, as if I must be doing something to provoke her. The truth is just what my sister said, the only reason I am the only one to get bitten is because I am the only one putting my hands near her with the bars between us. I'm pretty sure David got that memo this time.

 

With that "moment of passion" behind us, Gil hasn't skipped a beat in her contentment at being home. She has been beak grinding every night as well as more and more times throughout the day. She has been practicing her wing flapping and has been more physically active. You go Gil girl!

[birdhouse]

Oh, that moment was so yesterday! The whole episode wasn't probably even a blip on her radar. She nailed David because ...he was there? ...he looked at her funny? ...she thought it might be fun to watch his reaction? Whatever. But she was most certainly fine long before he'd gotten over the adrenaline surge. Now it gets interesting. Let's see if he's got the stuff to get back on the perch, I mean horse w/o flinching.

[katana600]

As Gil girl's Cajun family might say "True Dat!" He was still muttering under his breath Tuesday about her raggety-fluffed up-friend biting self. Hahaha. My guess is when he returns home this weekend he won't be lured in for a head scratch on the cage top any time soon. Being that he has lived with me three and a half decades, he has a dulled his flinch instincts. You sure are right that it wasn't on Gil's mind more than ten minutes. I can't tell you how many times she made me smile today. She is a little rusty with the beak grinding. It sounds like chomping a carrot or chewing ice. If a human was doing that it would be an annoying sound. Considering what it means to her, it's a symphony.

[katana600]

David and Miss Gilbert are having a cooled relationship, she refused his offers of treats, step ups and even refused his request for going into her cage when we prepared to leave the house. That's when I learned to appreciate her suspicious demeanor toward me. For the longest time I deluded myself that she was so cooperative. Any time I ask her to go into her cage, she hurries right in. I hand her a treat and think I have reinforced positive behavior. Now I laugh because the truth is, she just felt safer to have her cage bars between us. It's only been since she has ventured to the low gate, and onto the floor that now I see how fast she scurries away to get into her cage when she sees me. She really is changing since our return home. I bought some new small toys for her this weekend. I showed her and told her I was going to put them into her cage. She cooperated and watched just inches from my hands. She has been playing and ripping her new toys to shreds! Now that's progress. Granted, these are parakeet toys, tiny little flat wood wafers, woven finger traps and crinkled paper, but she is playing. The toy with the wooden wafers has a bell, it has been ringing all day, more music to my ears.

[Acappella]

Sorry she's giving David the cold wing treatment. I hope his feelings aren't too badly hurt lol. Glad to hear she's having fun with some little toys. Just be careful with bells meant for small birds. Dorian got hold of one once and bit the clapper right out of it. Luckily I was watching and got it away from him, but from then on there have been no small bells in his cage.

[katana600]

Thanks for that advice and a reminder about the bell. As I read your post, I went to her cage to inspect the bell. That's when I discovered the toy is nearly destroyed and the bell was gone! I started looking behind the cage and under the grates when she grabbed the remnants of her toy and rang the bell! Silly me, she was so boisterously swinging the toy it was hitting her long cylinder style bell nearby. I do appreciate the reminder to carefully inspect these toys. Even though I buy them from the former breeders of Juno and Kopi, it is important to take a closer look. Gilbert has so many years refused my offerings, I have nearly forgotten what it's like to watch a grey at play. It hard for me to want to clean her cage and change the papers today. I'm so tickled to see this big mess with bright colored wood chips and shreds of the fibers from the finger traps, that it seems wrong to remove the evidence. Lucky for David, he travels this entire week. My guess is by the time she sees him Saturday morning he will again be in her favor. He is noisy, he turns on music in every room and plays wild with the dogs and their ball. I think that helps bring her out of her shell. I am quieter, more predictable, more methodical about my daily routine. It has been a team effort in giving Miss Gilbert the security and the freedom to find her mojo.

[katana600]

The cold wing treatment is over. Today when David returned home Gil girl hummed him the cutest little song. She fought for attention trying to outshine the dogs vying for their turn. She disdainfully scolded them with "shut up you idiot!" It was a throwback to when she first arrived. Shortly after this cranky little outburst she was back in her sweet mode asking for a cracker and switching it up to ask for a treat. Earlier in the day, I wasn't sure if she had lost the plot or whether she has progressed to rambunctious play. I was cleaning when I heard her bell wildly ringing. When I peered around the corner she was hanging upside down alternating between both bells hanging about a foot apart. In the middle she was dunking her head in her water dish and wildly gyrating and flinging water. I'm convinced it was a session of wild play. Even when she noticed I was watching she continued to play. It's wonderful to see her find her wild side.

[Greywings]

She is having a very brave day, what a wonderful thing.

[katana600]

I am seeing a "normal" grey more days than not. To hear the daily beak grinding contrasting with the joyful bell ringing and the crunching and tearing of those wood wafers is the most amazing sounds I've ever waited so long to savor.

[katana600]

GilGirl continues to play with her wooden toys. Up to now she would play with leather laces and beads, a few select foot toys, a sisal ball and a few foraging toys with shredded paper. This "first" opened the door to new experiences. I have an entire cabinet filled with toys that have been tried, rejected and tried again. Something clicked this time. She does what she typically will do with the other types of toys, such as leather laces and beads. I hang them outside her cage, below her favorite perch. When no one is looking, she reaches through the bars and starts pushing it around a little. After a time, a long grey time, she might come out and bat it around a little from the outside of her cage. Usually though, when I move it inside she freezes and will totally avoid that side of her cage. This time she went right to the toy within minutes and destroyed it over a few days. Once the disks were gone she has chewed off the dowels and end pieces as well. In the meantime, there is a new one, a little different and bigger on the outside of her cage. I've seen evidence of splinters but she is secretive about it. The playing, beak grinding and venturing out of her cage continues.

[Greywings]

Undercover play Grey.