Gilbert is home

[Ray P]

Who knows that seeing your hubby in his underwear in front of Miss gilbert might motivate new care givers to walk around in their underwear to break the ice in their relationship with their new fids.

An interesting new concept.

[Greywings]

LOL who knows Ray that may be a method?

[katana600]

Come to think of it Ray, this underwear business is new. We have been married 34 years. It was only after I went north to help family that David came to visit and discovered country life. My sister's husband joked every day that as much as he loved having us around we infringed his casual evenings he used to spend in his underwear. He and David bonded and became great friends and since then, I swear David is in his shorts when he walks in from the garage. I ask if he is driving home from work like that. Well, most of Gilbert's progress has come in the past six months. Who knows, this may be the magic she needs.... I have been warning him if he is going to traipse around here in his shorts, I'm going to put it on the internet.

[katana600]

Miss Gilbert is entering the third week of her campaign to break my tenacious iron clad grip on my sanity. I joked about her being a "prepper" for asking "ready?" over and over again. She just gets in a groove and asks and asks hundreds of times a day. I asked her today "Ready for what?" She mocked me with "What? What? What?" and laughed at her big joke. So to get her off track I called out "Jim" and she went into her Jim/David debate with herself. I must say, I went to bed early and heard a great shout. Gilbert lured David in for a night night head scratch and bit him! I don't know if this just tickled my funny bone because I have seldom heard him react to anything with raising his voice or just purely delighted that its not just me. Java even giggled at him. He came to bed and said he's never seen such a fickle woman in all his life. He was just incredulous that she lured him in with sweet nothings like "night night sweet boy" and "sweet dreams". Just recalling his "ordeal" has me laughing until I snort. That's what she has been doing with me for more time than I want to quantify. Then, right when she is being a wicked little monkey I heard her today putting together something she struggled with for more than a year. Since I got the DNA and told her I knew she was a girl she starts her happy lilting "Gilbert's a good boooyyy!". She sounds like she is going to say but abruptly cuts short at "b", then she repeats over and over "Gilbert's a good" and stammers. I felt bad that it changed her references to herself. I would tell her "it's okay, you can be a good boy if you want" and she has been hung up on this. Today when I was in the kitchen canning all day I heard her come to a resolution. She very slowly and deliberately said "Gilbert's a good pretty girl", she laughed and said it several more times. Time will tell if she reverts back to her habit, but it just seems like she figured out something wonderful and pleasing for herself.

[Ray P]

Just like us, they want to know who they are and come to terms with it.

[Acappella]

For all the similarities you see between GilGirl and Dorian I'm in little doubt about one thing. Gilbert is smarter than Dorian. I've said for years that Dorian is 'More Densa than Mensa'. I think it has to do with just being locked up for the first years of his life with no enrichment playing or toys. He just had a couple of acrylic toys that his owner liked because he couldn't destroy them. He's never solved even the simplest foraging puzzles, like watching me put an almond in a small paper bag and hanging the bag in his cage. He has what I'd call mischief intelligence, like figuring out how to climb off his cage past the seed skirt, but he's often a perch potato. I think Gilbert has more understanding of the purpose of language, while Dorian is a mimicker. He's happy as a clam when he's hanging from a toy hook destroying a box I've attached to it. I have a feeling that once GillGirl has finally let go of her past and embraced her life with you completely she'll keep you jumping and there will be days when you look back fondly at the old cage-bound days lol.

[katana600]

I think Dorian is just keeping his light hidden under a basket. My first daughter didn't walk until she was 15 months old. We were getting concerned, but just encouraged her and bam, she stood up on her own and took off running. She had been admitted to the hospital for croup and had to have shots into her throat because swelling closed her airway. As soon as she could breathe she had incentive. Dorian hasn't had the incentive for foraging. Someday you will discover just the incentive to learn his brilliant side he has been hiding. Miss Gilbert is cunning. There are so many times I wish I could get in her mind. Yesterday we had a fun moment. I turned on the radio and Joan Jett was singing "I Hate Myself For Loving You". Gil had just pitched her usual fit when I gave her fresh food and water. She tried to bite me, she cussed and she picked out her clean water dish and drenched me in a passionate moment. When that song started I asked if it was her theme song and started singing from another room. She danced wildly, bobbing her head in agreement as though I finally got it through my dense mind. She hooted and whistled and danced wildly like a whirling dervish. I have never seen such motion on her part. She danced, I danced and we both laughed. This morning she tried to bite me and flung her water at me again. She is on a week long quiet spell. Her dancing was a hopeful sign that I'm going to see her true self someday soon.

Edited November 11, 2014 by katana600

[Greywings]

A whirling dervish moment from Gil girl, she is always seeking a new way to communicate and express herself. she landed in the right home to keep growing and trying new methods.

[katana600]

No sooner than I post that she has had a quiet spell, she has been a virtual chatterbox and energizer bunny. David had a long week of travel and arrived home late last night. Maybe his return has been the reason, but today she has been extra chatty and busy, even though he was at work. She has been hanging upside down and beating her wings. She is generally very efficient in her movements so this dancing and frolicking is surprising. While I was in the kitchen preparing dinner, David was on the floor near her cage playing with the dogs. Gilbert went into a long ramble we couldn't understand and punctuated it with "jerk". I have never heard her say that, but it sure sounded like she was giving him the business about being gone for so long. A little while later she was demanding to go night night and asking for a treat. She has been a real challenge for us and we are often wondering what more we can do to make her happy. It seems that waiting and just giving her the room to be herself is the magic she needs. Thanks for your words, I often have wondered if we are the right home for her. I've wondered if she would do better with a man for her primary caretaker. Then, we have visitors and we take her away from home and she hasn't really ever had a "love at first sight" moment with anyone else. She keeps us laughing and she chuckles along.

Edited November 11, 2014 by katana600
typo

[Acappella]

Maybe she' stood cautious for the love at first sight experience. Or maybe she knows deep down in her little heart that she couldn't have it better anywhere else than she has it with you.

[katana600]

I'm still looking for the deeply hidden little heart of gold inside this thoroughly lovable little character. I know its in there, she lets me get a quick peek every now and again. She sure isn't the type to wear her heart on her sleeve, is she? The truth is I am very glad she landed here too. I think I may have had it too good most of my life being able to learn things quickly. She is my lesson in humility and is teaching me the meaning of patience. Slowly turns the clock in grey time. But golly why does she wait at her food door trying to nab me a couple of times a day? I'm grateful for her choosing a "touching" side of her cage and a "battle" side. She is very consistent on this one thing. Time is on my side as I try to learn how to always see her good side.

[birdhouse]

Isn't it funny how even after years of "abuse" they still manage to inspire that certainty that no matter what else, there really is a heart of gold buried under all of it?

 

The longer it takes to dig it out, the more precious, though. And that's the thing that makes them so special, even among all our special fids. jmho

[katana600]

I agree Val, she shows me her soft side fleetingly and I would wait 'til the end of time to see it just once more. In the meantime she says and does the funniest things. That's what keeps us coming back, keeps us striving to do better. I know as time passes I slowly see a little more of her spirit. It's like the ember of a fire, nearly extinguished but capable of being nurtured into sustained roaring source of wonder. She is going to realize some day that its good to be the queen. She really surprises me all the time. Today she tried to take a bath in her water dish and when I got the sprayer, she welcomed a good soaking. She licked water from the spray bottle and even though she was inside her cage and my fingers were within reach she didn't try to bite me. It's cold her for Atlanta and I would not have considered spraying her, but I followed her lead and she wanted a cold soaking. The enigma that is Miss Gilbert.

[birdhouse]

It's like the ember of a fire, nearly extinguished but capable of being nurtured into sustained roaring source of wonder. She is going to realize some day that its good to be the queen.

 

To me, Phenix has become more like the perfect hearth fire. Not roaring. Too much like raging. A rather lovely deep pile of embers & coals w/beautiful glowing shades & that wonderful radiant warmth that melts into your bones on a cold damp day.

 

Sundance saw to it that Phenix never got to be king. For some time now though, he has of course seen himself as royalty; expecting all that might imply from his minions. From your perspective at this stage, you may be surprised to hear it can get a wee bit old in oh say... 10... 15 yrs give or take . But I won't try to deny I may still get the occasional little warm fuzzy jolt watching his lordship hold court.

[katana600]

Hahaha, you have been with Phenix longer than most of us have had a spouse! i haven't been married long enough for it to get old yet either. :-) My companions aren't demanding, more low profile. I remember thinking "If she just gets 'unfrozen' I won't ever complain about her mess." I haven't gotten there yet but getting a water dish flung upon me has gotten to be a thin, worn out punch line. Now she has a heavy ceramic bowl thats even hard for me to wrench free. She isn't what I would call joyful just yet, but I can see it from here. She has the most endearing little "hey" spoken in the dark of night that will still get me out of bed to come to her side for a warm little scratch session. When I get so thrilled to see her venture a few feet away from her cage, I admit there is a devil's advocate whispering that mobility will inevitably mean destruction and demands. When David is home on weekends, she has been getting out of her cage. She stepped up willingly last night to be carried in to watch him sleep. She is more smitten with him all the time. Hope to see that continue.

[katana600]

The hearth fire description of Phenix is so inviting and cozy. I will think of it often as my crew and I head back to the frozen tundra of northwestern Pennsylvania. We are about 80 miles east of Buffalo and there is no way I can leave until the snow is cleared. My mother in law fell in her assisted living apartment and shattered her shoulder so I will go to help. Miss Gilbert loves it at my sister's home. I hate to leave home right now with her because she is just starting to come out of her cage to explore. She has decided she is tired of looking at the carpet on the stairs so she is determined to remove it one thread at a time. This morning I heard her scratching and came around the corner to chide her, "Hey!" It made her jump. She recovered quickly and drew and arc on the carpet with her beak then gave me the stink eye and sarcastically responded "What."

[Greywings]

Feeling the pain for your MIL, do travel safe and stay warm I am sure Miss G will appreciate even more when you return. She has proven she is a survivor. Hope Winter gives you a little break in time to travel.

[Acappella]

How are GilGirl and your MIL doing?

[katana600]

Thank you for asking, it's been an especially long week. Surgery was the day before Thanksgiving and was extended due to many bone shards from the shattered ball joint. Insurance dictates one day in the hospital for an 82 year old with this replacement joint. She went to a skilled care facility which is a nursing home. Pain management has been a nightmare. She has Alzheimer's so she can't remember when she had meds or if she asked already. It's barbaric. I've committed to staying until she is released, it could be February. To better news, Gilbert is in heaven. She loves my sister. She swoons and lets her pet her head every time she passes through. She picked right up where we left off on the previous visit. On our 16 hour car ride Gilbert got upset when it got dark and protested by hanging upside down. It was snowing, cold and slippery driving for a southern car. I finally got a blanket over her cage and put a flashlight under it so she could see without blinding our driver. We came into the house and Gilbert greeted everyone, laughed and chatted like nothing changed with the months and miles between us. She nervously chewed her feathers the next day. Once I got her some paper, coconut rope balls, and an array of toys set up she has been at ease even with some long days home alone. I think my sister enjoys the reunion with Gilbert as much as having the rest of us here. Today was the best day for Anna, she is so grateful to have a friendly face and she is strong and motivated to return to her apartment in assisted living. I am dividing my time between pets and the nursing home about 30 miles apart. It's our hometown and many friends would like to spend time together. Our kids will fly up here for Christmas and rather than my usual methodical planning, baking and doing special home made gifts for everyone, I am here with one small duffle bag of clothes for a one week stay. I'm just going to wing it and be happy.

[Greywings]

I think maybe you and Gil bird are growing simultaneously, she is helping you as you coax her along, symbiotic relationship and it is lovely. I can empathize with your situation as my Mom broke each of her hips one at a time about 8 months apart. She suffered from advanced dementia and had an upper stomach cancer that was identified many months after her hips had healed. They do not handle pain very well or any new situation that is not a positive one. So difficult to watch them hurt and be so unhappy. Best wishes for healing and the holidays being brighter.

[katana600]

Yes, you have nailed it. This is why I'm staying. One day she is in the present and so appreciative of seeing a familiar face. Today she asked over and over again why she hurts and where she is. When I tell her she fell and had surgery, she says "if you say so". It's a blessing because she doesn't remember the bad parts. Tomorrow I may find something completely different. Now that I think of it, that's much like Miss Gilbert. We just have to laugh and enjoy the good days and rest to prepare for those tough ones. Gil has been blissfully doing busy work every day. She adapted to the flow here and she likes getting up at dawn to regale everyone with cheerful greetings.

[Acappella]

So sorry your MIL was so badly hurt. A trauma like that can definitely make Alzeimers/dementia worse. Glad to hear that GG has handled the change with only a little feather destruction. Her growing resilience is an inspiration and a direct result of your care of her.

[katana600]

Thank you. Every day brings something new both with Gilbert and mom. Yesterday was the best, we walked and laughed, got in half a manicure and everyone slept well. This morning at my sister's, the big dogs were barking and howling inside before the sun came up. I had tried to hush them unsuccessfully. Gilbert gave one loud disdainful "Quieeeet" and they stopped immediately. There is always something to laugh about and it feels so much better to laugh when it contrasts with all the serious business of insurance wrangling and the small stuff of dealing with conditions from icy roads to rehab road bumps. It's good to be "home" even when I miss my real home. Both Gilbert and Java have won over the household and are settled happily into a routine.

[Greywings]

Both you and Gil girl are resilient, hope there are more good days to share with your Mom than bad ones.

[katana600]

Every time we leave home and adapt to a new routine, a new household and take changes as they come it makes me appreciate the life of a rehomed parrot. At the same time I am learning more about Miss Gilbert. I've thought all this time that she is protective about her cage, her turf. She has always adapted and enjoyed the smaller travel cage compared to her big cage at home. Well, she still tries to bite me when I change her dishes or reach in her cage to clean. My sister and brother in law can reach in and she pays no attention. I thought maybe she just doesn't know for sure how they would respond but she is actually cultivating a cordial relationship with them. She gently takes pecans or sunflower seeds from their fingers and bows her head to get scratches every time they even look at her. I heard her this morning greeting them and telling them goodbye as they left for work. She has also learned the name of one of their dogs. She has a depth and a personality we are only just beginning to unravel and discover. I'm gone about five hours a day and she is really as comfortable here now as she is at home. In fact, I think she likes the extra people around. Any improvement in her life benefits all of us, her antics are quite the topic of conversation in this small rural community.