katana600 Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 She is a character all right. This may actually be a turning point for her. Rather than being relieved to find me at home and perturbed that I was off schedule and she had no morning oatmeal... I am the third wheel here now. She flew to get close to David. When I came in the room to prepare drop cloths under her, she quickly tried to hide under a chair. She got into a cobweb to illustrate my uselessness as a suitable mate to him. She let him rub her beak but got frustrated with a bit that they couldn't release. I used your chopstick mention as an inspiration and she had no fear of them and let me pluck off the sticky thread. She is actively plotting an overthrow of the woman of the house. My brief absence forced hubby home early from the office every day to her great delight. She probably interprets that I am the one blocking him from being with her, since my absence equals his presence. To watch her open herself to trust and affection is worth the name calling and rebuffs of me personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 That`s OK Dee, every now and than when she is mad at David you can be number one. I still believe she thinks of you as number one, She just don't want you to know it just yet. P.S. Absents makes the heart grow fonder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 Lately I read posts about singing, about waiting for the right moment, about patience, faith, rehoming and trust building. Miss Gilbert has been in a bit of a grumpfest regarding my recent trip and the noise of finalizing our outdoor work. David is home two days in a row for the first time in a month. Miss Gilbert has been doing her usual of being out, soliciting his attention and making a mad scramble into her cage if I move or speak. At any given moment her behavior suddenly changes and she chooses her favorite perch for a head scratch and looks to me for close up attention. Last night she leaned tight against the bars and tucked her head until I could almost massage her little shoulders. I sang a song I used to sing to my babies about loving them forever and always. She closed her eyes, a rare surrender to peace. Then she was making the slightest "ticking" sound and she turned and pumped her head as a love offering. She did it again this morning. When she first came here she would "woo" me like this, but it seemed she was simply showing me gratitude. This may be another chink in the armor she is beginning to shed. Imagine the weight of fear, anger and distrust lifted from her fragile little fierce self. Reading the experience of others in this forum is surely the wind beneath our tattered hearts, souls and wings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inara Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 What sweet moments. Another pearl in the Miss GG necklace. It's moments like those that allow us all, through you, to catch a glimpse of the sweet nature of the Grey girl who loved a man named Jim. This is what is so heartbreaking about birds who have been passed around and about for any reason, and we all know that there are many unforseen reasons for birds to be rehomed. The saddest part, is that we so rarely know what transpired between perhaps a first loving home, several interim homes, and then their landing at our home. Even well intentioned interim homes or foster homes can add to the stressors and distrust because they were yet another temporary stop, another separation, another unknown. Dee, Miss GG is showing that she is opening her little heart to you as your love and patience continue to help her restring her scattered little pearls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 There are some rehoming situations that are well done, introductions, taking time to prepare the grey and the new family. These success stories don't get as much discussion. Gilbert had at least two abrupt transfers which contributed to behaviors that in turn made it more likely for the new home to give up. Each successive rejection and abandonment in her mind takes longer to overcome. I know she is just getting through her baggage and some day she will reach the bottom and not have any more bad memories to drag out. Lately she hasn't been able to get enough head scratches. When I bring her food, she will ask for touches first. She has even stopped midway through an oatmeal feast to posture for a head rub. Day by day, bit by bit, the wall is coming down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywings Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 It is good to know that those head rubs are becoming important to her, that shows trust and rewards your understanding her need for a slow and cautious approach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 Watching her play with toys, moving freely inside her cage now where she feels secure reinforces to me that she needs time and space. The smallest change at the wrong time has been observed and trying again and again has given her choices. Recently I put a leather square near her food and water dishes. Now when I change her bowls she bites that leather, batters it around. She can express her need to defend her cage and my fingers are safe. She never touches unless I'm "messing with her stuff." As a couple of weeks have passed, she seems less passionate about it. I'm hoping it helps her to be more calm about it. She is very complex. On one side of her cage she is fierce and indignant and that's the side with her food. The other side is a pink roost perch and she hurries to that spot to posture to request a scratch. She has never bitten me on the scratch perch. Lately, she has been waiting every morning next to her food doors and requesting a scratch there. It tells me she is becoming ever so slightly more tolerant. Tiny changes, in grey time. She is finding her courage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted September 7, 2014 Author Share Posted September 7, 2014 Today I have been trying to find an opening from Gilbert to tighten a wing nut holding her pellet dish. It's on the same side as her "scratching" perch, opposite her food and water. But, man can she traverse that distance in a heartbeat. She has attempted to bite me every time I reach in there. Finally I put on an oven mitt and did what I needed to do. She was uncharacteristically brave enough to rush right over and bite a chunk out of that oven mitt. Afterward, I went over and sang her a song and she poised in her scratch position for a nice head rub. It was then that I noticed how bright red her tail feathers are becoming. They have always been so dark as to be almost indistinguishable from the tips of her flight feathers, nearly black. She is definitely undergoing some changes. Next, no sooner than I started to clean her cage, she rushed up on me and bit off 25 strands of my hair in one sharp swipe. No sooner than I had finished that job and cleaned around her cage, she was on the outside of her cage chewing her ladder to bits. It has been there, solid and unmolested for more than a year. When I went over and scolded her and removed the ladder she went to the play top and stood her ground looking fierce, ruffled and defensive. Against every reasonable instinct, I asked her to step up and no one was more shocked than me when she offered up her foot and stepped right up on my hand from her cage! She has been sitting on my shoulder all the while I am typing her "report". It may be a long slow turn but we are turning the corner, making a new history and seeing what's next in the story being written by Miss Gilbert... in grey time. O Happy Day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 You know Dee that I have followed this thread from day one of your adventure, and I said this a short time ago that your relationship is about to explode into something special. The more difficult the challenge the sweeter the rewords. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted September 8, 2014 Author Share Posted September 8, 2014 I wasn't so sure about the rewards and I was willing to accept at any given point that it may be ass far as she would progress, but every little advancement in our relationship has made me so tickled and hopeful for more. Tonight every time she has seen me, she hurries to posture for a touch. She leans so far in against the bars I can rub her whole head and neck with three fingers and she is warm and relaxed in my hand. I have been visualizing her coming to sit on my lap once she understands just how good it feels to have the same long scritch sessions as Java has. Miss Gilbert watches and calls out to Java "Pretty Girl" at night when she is on my lap. It's been all those experienced voices saying its worth the time and patience to wait for her to have the courage to come to me. Every small triumph has been so hard won by this girl, I know she has more to share with us. Thank you for being our support and encouragement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acappella Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 It's her complexity that keeps me tuning in. There's obviously a lot of very deep thought going on in that little grey head. Your willingness to wait her out, and your attention to the smallest changes, have brought about an amazing transformation in her. In the end your bond with each other will be deep and profound because you've both fought so hard for it. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 I laughed a little when I read that. She is definitely complex and intriguing. But whether she has fought for or against our relationship is still up for debate. :-) Last night and again this morning she gently called me back to her with a little "hey". She doesn't really like head "scratches" or rubs, but more like you would pet a cat, only with one finger. Amazingly when I sat down to write this post, she called to me. I stopped and looked up at her and she hurried to "our" spot. It's so very dear. She lets me stroke her head, pulls back to look at me and she makes a soft sound like a crying baby. Then she tucks her head to hold the feathers on her upper thigh or lower chest. I sing softly to her and she will outlast me these days. Even though she didn't react at the time, I believe the removal of my braces has changed our dynamics. While she has been abrasive in her words and forceful in venting frustrations more than usual, she has also been more completely relaxed and "surrendered" in our touching gentle physical exchanges. From our three and a half years together, it occurs to me that she gets frustrated at each time she crosses over a milestone in our relationship. I believe the next move is going to be to come out of her cage and sit next to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kittykittykitty Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Won't that be wonderful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted September 10, 2014 Author Share Posted September 10, 2014 Great news! Miss Gilbert positioned herself on her cage top and was swaying as if she was prepared for lift-off. I took that as a request for a "ride" to us. I got right up and asked if she wanted a step up. Without hesitation she offered me a very high stepping up to my hand. She got too nervous and jumped off and glided albeit clumsily to the floor and was eager to come to me. She was very nervous and went from the arm of my chair to lifting her foot high to be "rescued" from there to my knee, to my hand, to my shoulder where she hopped up to the chair back. I gave her a favored cashew. She was wide eyed and a little tense but when I offered for her "Wanna go back?" which is what she usually asks me when she gets a foot from the safety of her cage, she declined. She was only out a total of ten minutes before she was offering me a step up so she could return to her cage. It seems like a small thing because I have gotten her to sit briefly on the arm of my chair any time she has launched herself to the floor. This time though, it was entirely her suggestion and she had the choice of leaving, but she stayed! I have been sensing a new willingness for close encounters of the grey kind and she is stepping away from her zone. Even though I have been noticing a slight change in her attitude it was pure awe and joy to see her take those first steps. I slept on a cloud last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inara Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 I believe the next move is going to be to come out of her cage and sit next to me. Your belief played out to be true. What an absolute treat to tune in this morning and catch up with you and Miss GG, Dee. What strides, GG is making! HRH is not much for head scritches, nor for any type of petting, (unless with her beloved chopstick, "Pressshhhhious"). I envy your and GG's sweet time. HRH is a busy bee, and while very generous with kisses, and loving to hang out on my arm, shoulder, and knee, she may never have the personality for scritches, and head/neck pets. What a fantastic time that was for you and GG both, to have out of cage time together, where GG initiated. Ten minutes can be a loooong time initially as you are already aware. Brave little girl that she is, she is trying to hard to trust. It is interesting, as you've pointed out, that since your braces have come off perhaps there is a bit of a turn about with Miss GG also. Perhaps in her wonderfully brilliant bird brain, she was a bit intimidated that there might be something in your mouth that required a "cage" to hold it back... ? One never knows. I often (and I know you do too as well as most people here on the forum) try to put myself into the mind and body of our birds in an attempt to view their environment, and us from their physical perspective. Of course you slept on a grey feathered cloud last night! What a momentous occasion. It will only keep getting better, and better. YAY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted September 10, 2014 Author Share Posted September 10, 2014 Our dance continues, one big step forward and a little two-step retreat. Miss Gilbert has taken to climbing to the floor of her cage, reaching out to get a hold on her door and slamming it closed. She emphatically announced "get out" and "get on outta there". A while later after she settled down and asked me to rub her head, I slid the door open as I left. Before long it clanged closed with a "shut up" to follow. And along with those expressions, she has been playing, taking treats from my hand (inside the bars) and she has been whistling and saying sweet things as well. I'm giving her plenty of room to ebb and flow today and left her door closed the second time. Another interesting development is that she is playing much more assertively with her toys. She has chosen Birdie Bagels of all sizes. One is about six inches in diameter and if she drops it to the floor it is impressive to watch her carry it back to the wire "porch perch" to give it a good working over. She is also so very determined to remove the "spare" stainless steel food cup where I keep the overnight pellet portions. She grabbed it with such force that when it came loose she flipped over backward and fell right to the papers on the cage floor. It never even slowed her down, she was determined to fling that cup around. Even six months ago it would have silenced her for a week. She is making big strides and she is claiming wide horizons for her future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Miss Gilbert is like a big truck. Slow to start and build speed, but once she builds momentum, she will be hard to stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 She is "catching a gear" right now Ray. She has been the little-engine-that-could chug chug chugging up the very steep wall she built for herself. She is new at this relationship from her perspective. Sometimes when she shifts the little gears in her complex brain, she gets in neutral or even reverse. But eventually she grinds away and builds up a little more power to get back on the road to trust again. I took this video last night of her getting a gentle touch. She is still a little nervous about this closeness, even with the bars between us. She sometimes will sit and "worry" those feathers on her right chest area but it hasn't been bald for a while now. She is getting within sight of the first hilltop where she can coast for a while, refuel and then take off again. Who knows, she may get a downhill luge track and pick up enough speed to soar. It's going to happen! She is on her own path and I am just lucky enough to try to keep up with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 Just in case that link to YouTube will not work, I tried it a different way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kittykittykitty Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Oh! What joy! What a sweetheart! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inara Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Oh what a very sweet, sweet video, Dee. What a look of bliss on Miss GG's face as her eyes close. She is just such a wonderful little creature, and I love her from afar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 She has come such a long way! I am meeting her more than halfway as she begins to have insights to the benefits to her. At each turn, the walls are coming down and the pace of her progress gains speed. Grey time is a variable rate. Who knew? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted September 14, 2014 Author Share Posted September 14, 2014 (edited) Lady Gilbert is getting more interested in coming away from her cage. She climbs to a spot which is on her cage top directly above her "scratching" or petting perch. That is the nearest distance to our living room seating. She will sit for a spell with her back to us. It looks ever so much like she is praying for courage. Then, in due time she turns to face us. Soon enough she will start preparing for flight. She leans way down like a skier preparing to hit the big daddy of all slopes. She raises her wings and JUMPS. Her heart is telling her to soar but her stubborn streak of pessimism keeps those little toes wrapped around the cage in a white knuckle death grip. When I speak to her and encourage her she hasn't been ducking into her doorway to evade me. Once she stepped up when I offered. Since then she lifts her foot, almost willing to take the plunge but panics at the last moment when either of us get that close. She tries to fly to the floor and is all over the living room. At first I would "rescue" her and she was all happy to oblige but too nervous to stay long. Now we sit down, let her shake off a case if nerves and she eventually makes it over to our feet. Last night she stayed on the back of David's chair for a half hour. Another delightful little thing she is doing is delaying her bedtime by just a few seconds. Every night after a warm, relaxing scritch session, I reach behind me in the stair post to get my glass of water. She has a fresh dish in her cage, I just poured from my glass. But she wants a drink from my glass. And oh how she is parched. She slurps and guzzles the first drink. Then she clinks the edge if the glass. When I try to pull back she is suddenly so dry, a marooned desert castaway with her first offer of water, she makes the biggest show of how thirsty she is. It's so darn cute. She isn't going to admit she wants me to stay a little longer. She just got real thirsty. That's all. Tiny, tiny little seeds of hope. By this time next year I suspect she will decide it might be okay to stay here with us after all. Edited September 14, 2014 by katana600 Typo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Loved the video! She was enjoying her head scratching so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acappella Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 I know how hard fought those scratches were. Congrats to both of you. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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