Gilbert is home

[katana600]

What have I started? A couple of weeks ago when I thought Gil was playfully saying "Jim" to counter my saying "David" I had no idea what I was setting in motion. First, she said Jim at least a hundred and fifty times the next day. Then she went through a series of saying Jim, then David as if she was arguing both sides of that debate. Then "What? What? What?" as in "OMG What am I going to do?" I have tried not to engage, I am not sure where this is going and she gets so riled up and animated that I think she is stressed more than "playing". Tonight however, she heard the garage door opening and shouted "David" as he arrived home from work. Whatever came over me, who knows, but I shouted back "Jim". She countered with "David". Now I know she is being contrary just for the opportunity to argue. David walked in on the exchange just about the moment she recognized I had turned the tables on her. He asked "What Gilbert? What do you want?" There was a moment of silence and in a tone that conceded "you got me", she exclaimed "$h@! Dam# DAVID" then laughed. I have to admit after the week or more of worrying me that she was indulging multiple personalities or having a breakdown when she made a funny, I laughed in spite of her colorful expletives. It's only a matter of time before I lose my mind totally and just join her.

[Greywings]

She is such a diva girl having a little hissy for disagreeing with her.

[katana600]

She does seem to be coming out of her spring grump fest. She has once again returned to tucking her head to posture for a head rub last thing at night and first thing every morning. She also has become so active that she is moving all day long. She makes huge messes and I still don't mind because it is progress from those months of being shut down. She does allow me to pick her up and take her away from her cage, but only when something has caused her to attempt flight and she ends up on the floor. She still gets so stressed that I have only a few minutes to get her to sit behind me on the back of the sofa or on my hand. She shakes and its not just a quiver, her whole body starts trembling and she has a wild look of seeking an escape route. Her "hands off" policy is respected but I keep trying to entice her to be with me. She seems to love it when I am in the kitchen, she can see me but I am far enough away that she is exceptionally brave with her taunts, cussing and maniacal laughter. I can only assume this is a phase and I do think its progress. My orthodontist has "lost me" with promises for seven months to take these braces off "next month". If memory serves me right Gilbert knew me nine months prior to braces. This was still our honeymoon period. I don't believe it's really my braces that keep her at a distance. This is mainly because I'm the only person she has seen with them in three years and she is just as scared and standoffish with all humans. With this newfound power of remembering cuss words and using them judiciously and emphatically, she is the one changing up her game. As much as I would rather not have her using that language every day, I am trying to understand her purpose and message to me. She certainly hasn't used those words every day. It might be a bridge to acceptance if she can't drive me out of my own house maybe she will relax and stay.

[danmcq]

What have I started? <snip> Tonight however, she heard the garage door opening and shouted "David" as he arrived home from work. Whatever came over me, who knows, but I shouted back "Jim". She countered with "David". Now I know she is being contrary just for the opportunity to argue. David walked in on the exchange just about the moment she recognized I had turned the tables on her. He asked "What Gilbert? What do you want?" There was a moment of silence and in a tone that conceded "you got me", she exclaimed "$h@! Dam# DAVID" then laughed.

 

You started it and she finished with an "In your Face".... LOL!!!

[katana600]

That's exactly how it was Dan. She is so unpredictable. No sooner than I posted last night she flew from the top of her cage. I took her to the back of the sofa where I was sitting and she acted real nervous with shaking and biting her foot. I offered to take her back and she couldn't run to me fast enough for the lift back "home". As we were a foot from her cage she launched off my hand to her cage. No sooner than I was sitting again she flew right over David's head and landed on the floor by my feet. She stayed with me that time for twenty minutes but she was obviously distressed and growling. She has never growled much so I am not sure what to make of it. I think she knows she is on the cusp of flight and making her own decisions and it is very scary for her. Again on the way back to her cage she launched and flew the last few feet. I will keep giving her opportunities and encouragement. She is a woman of mystery. When she really lets me in, it's going to be worth every minute of the dance.

[danmcq]

I wonder what may be causing the growling? Anything new in the surroundings, a change in you or hubbies hair, facial hair (hubby) nail polish etc.? It seems her shaking is "Status Quo" and thus normal. Her cussing, well she does not know the difference between those words and phrases or any others except thats how she was talked to by highly perturbed humans in the past and when she feels high anxiety/emotions that is what comes out to express her feelings at the time it seems. It will be interesting to see her reaction when those braces come off. I think it's great that she readily accepts your help getting back to her cage and just finishes off the last few feet. Soon those full flight abilities and skills learned will kick in and she will go and come as she pleases. I have a strong feeling that will help her relax a little more knowing she has the ability to flee to a safe place quickly anytime she wishes once that solidifies.

[katana600]

I agree Dan. I believe she has the ability to fly now, she has to overcome only the limitations of her mind and her body will gain the strength and agility. The growling was a puzzler, even David was surprised as he has never heard the grey growl. It was soft and low and she growled at the same time as she was running toward my hard and lifting her foot for me to let her step up. She probably didn't like the low altitude of the sofa arm. She did the same on my wrist and knee while I was sitting. She ran, flapped and climbed frantically to get on my shoulder but her goal was for me to take her back to her cage where everything is perfectly the way she likes it and everything is predictable. Every time she takes a few steps forward she has to retreat a step back. She continues to bait me with the Jim/David debate. She says one, then more emphatically says the other often followed by "What? What? What?" Then she laughs. For now, I am happy for her to cuss in those highly charged moments, it sure beats the self destruction she did when I first met her. I do believe it will give way to happier behavior as she gets more acclimated and involved with us physically as well as her new verbal interactions.

[kittykittykitty]

I have played catch-up again. This darling, wonderful Miss Gilbert Gilly Girl never ceases to amaze, puzzle and delight me. And at the same time be filled with wistful longing. Dee, I want to thank you again for your willingness to share her through your gift of writing. Howardine

[birdhouse]

After we'd had become all too familiar w/him growling to warning us off, Phenix also went thru a phase where he'd growl while agreeing to do whatever. My best guess was that it was an outward sign of his inner conflict. He wanted to do "it" but he was afraid.

 

He did that for long enough that we eventually got trained to accept it as a warning to proceed w/caution, but still actually proceed. I don't really remember how long it lasted anymore. Years, though.

[katana600]

Howardine, I am constantly tamping down my own wistful longing with firm acceptance of limitations and reality of Miss Gilbert's fragile mental state. There are moments I wonder if she has had a head injury or mental illness. It's a very long road with no promises, no instruction manual, just steady love and trying new things. Val, I think you hit it exactly. Gil hasn't growled before except on very few stressed and brief disturbances. For her to approach me while growling and extending a foot to step up, my brain was saying "Don't Do It!" while my compassion for her insisted on responding. I have to say, I offered my wrist with fingers tucked safely out of reach. I do believe this is a lot like when she would posture for a touch early on but would get too nervous to allow more than a nanosecond of a head scratch. I do think she has an awareness of her flight ability and a tiny little spark is being ignited while at the same time she is scared to try. I keep thinking about her sustained flight distances where she stays just inches off the floor. She has a bump on a wing which her vet said was the result of a broken wing. It's within reasonable speculation that she may have flown into a wall or something. She may have decided flying is just too dangerous. I sure hope she changes her mind and gets the courage to keep trying. We are actually in the process of remodeling to create a different exit for our dogs from the basement so there will less of a chance to forget and open the front door just a little to far. I am a believer. I believe Miss Gilbert is going to fly again.

[katana600]

I just had to clarify the growl seems to be just what Phoenix has done. Juno and Kopi each growled on our first day and would do so when they were in the travel cage when they were placed too low. That kind of growl there is no mistaking. It is danger and is accompanied by a percussion sound much like the tractor trailer "jake brake". This recent growl was more low and grumbly, more like "Oh dear, this is not good." Another puzzler is with all her shouting and cussing lately, she has been having evening regrets where shortly after dark she has asked for a treat and settled in happily beak grinding when she softly says "Sorry" or "I sorry" and "Gilbert sorry". It's positively wrenching. I just tell her "it's okay" and reassure her in the way she is accustomed "Gilbert's okay". She hasn't said that for about a year. It's amazing how she lets me know she is thinking about other times. Of course she may be picking up on my own emotions. We have a lot going on with summer travel plans, a one year anniversary of my brother in law's passing as well as going up to PA for our first Relay For Life without him. With that, construction, braces overstaying their welcome and our little black dog, Mick has suffered a recurrence of a spinal injury. We haven't been "emotional" just pressured and she may be responding to that. Time will tell. I just have the firm sixth sense that she is on the cusp of a good change.

[Ray P]

Miss Gilbert has been climbing her mountain, trying to get to the top. I takes a lot of energy to get to the top, but one day she will know it was all worth it and so will you.

[katana600]

We went away from Thursday until last night. We had a neighbor checking in and feeding our birds and caring for our dogs. When we walked in the door it was as if I had gone out for groceries. There were no signs of discomfort in Gilbert, no feather chewing. We are making progress. Java has been a little cuddle bug against my neck all day today while Gil is content and quietly staying in her cage. She has come a long way to take a change in stride like this.

[Ray P]

You mean when you walked in the door they looked at and as if to say OH it`s you.

[katana600]

Yes, I was thinking of them on the whole trip. I was thinking about them on the plane. I opened the door and the only tail wagging was my own. It was almost like "Back so soon? Did you forget something?" When my husband travels, we give him a ticker tape parade when he walks into the house. Apparently I am the one to conduct that orchestra. LOL It really is a great feeling to see Miss Gilbert developing trust and faith that everything was okay while she was cage bound with a sitter coming four or five times a day.

[kittykittykitty]

YES! Miss GG has come a long way. I still say it is because of your love, patience, consistency, dedication- what else can I say

[Ray P]

Miss Gilbert now has certain expectations of you.

Like you said Dee. She is standing in the doorway and ready to step through for another new adventure

[katana600]

Even though Miss Gilbert is "touchy" and a bit on the grouchy side, she has the most perfect sense of humor. I should call her Maxine. This morning I am hearing "David. David. Jim. hehehe, mmmm hmmm". It's like she is letting me know she remembers but its not the full blown all day mind bender she was using to torture us. She has posed nicely for a long head scratch and approved of her breakfast for the first time in a month. I told her about Dorian flying. She has this way of saying mmm hmm, hmmm hmmm hmmm. I pretty sure it's skeptical. Not of Dorian, but don't think she is going to be a copy cat jumping on that magic carpet ride. Mmm hmmm.

[kittykittykitty]

"Touchy," yes, but I think she has a wild sense of humor as well.

[katana600]

This girl is wickedly funny, with the emphasis on wicked. Then again, my own sense of humor is a bit on the same side as hers. We were made for each other. I feel so lucky to have her and I know she is taking one step at a time in my direction. Today was my happy day when the orthodontist took the first step toward removing my braces! It will take three weeks and I am as interested in Gilbert's reaction as I am anticipating my freedom.

[Timbersmom]

Woohoo on the brace removal! I'm really curious to see what Miss Gilbert will have to say about that when it is complete.

[Ray P]

Hmmmm I hope when she sees the new you with out your braces that she don`t make you start all over again as a newbe caregiver.

[kittykittykitty]

Hip, hip, hooray on the braces. Will you need retainers? I, too, wonder how Gilly Girl will respond.

[Ray P]

I don`t thing Miss Gilbert will have any problem as she knows your mannerisms, your voice along with many other looks and movements that define you.

[katana600]

I have an ugly week coming up and then it will get better. The brackets come off in three weeks when the retainer goes in, but that is removeable. The good thing is those colored plastic bands called chains are gone, and the wires are gone. When I remove the other elastic bands, I come show her and you can see more teeth than steel. She is not impressed. Too funny. Today when I opened her food doors, she was like a little jack-in-the-box popping her head through that door so fast, I thought she had me. She does that often but she was closer than ever to nabbing me. When I walked away to give her time to compose herself, she slammed doors, flung food and had a mini meltdown. I think this is more of a reaction to our recent absence, she has been really quiet and withdrawn and just let her hair down this morning. Next, she came out of her cage, made her way to the back on the seed catcher tray to sit there all day. That's unusual, she generally prefers to go topside.