Gilbert is home

[katana600]

Hahaha, for so long I have wished for her to become less fearful and more active. I can live with this newfound bravery and teenage angst if it means she is becoming a "normal" grey. LOL. From the onset I have seen her have a breakthrough, then hunker down for a while to come to terms with the freedom it brings for her to make her own choices. Yesterday she almost seemed ill she was so quiet and withdrawn. I have learned to weather the storms and to wait. Today he has climbed down and is off on another exploration. She is checking the hallway and bedroom today. Since she is still emotionally fragile, I am giving her all the room she needs and just watching from a distance. At the front door is a cowbell hanging on a rope. My dogs are quiet, so I trained them to ring the bell for me. Miss Gilbert went over and explored the leather magazine rack that holds the dog leashes. She is touching it, feeling the texture. She turned and whacked the bell and made it ring. She knows it is there, she can see the door from her cage and sometimes she rings her bell when they ring theirs. She jumped back and I thought she was scurrying back to the safety zone of her cage, but she worked up the nerve to go back for more. Watching this timid little grey change before my eyes into a curious explorer and promising to be a fearless trail blazing adventurer is one of the most exciting things in my life. I have climbed the mountains and done all the adrenaline junkie wild things and now its her turn. I have also started going back to read all the books to get new ideas to meet her where she is and lift her up with trying new things. Yesterday while she was quiet and withdrawn, I stood talking to her and she was trembling. One of the techniques suggested for a fearful parrot is to put your hands behind your back, only look at them with one eye and to blink. The rationale is that hands are often associated with forcing a rehomed parrot to do something they don't want. She is clearly not a fan of our hands. Then, predators stare with both eyes while parrots look through one eye at a time and you don't see them stare straight ahead. Lastly, predators don't blink. If you blink, you look relaxed, like one of the flock and often the parrot will mimic and blink. Okay, now I realize exactly how I looked with my hands folded behind my back, head turned to the side, squinting the one eye that was open and then blinking. But, first her trembling stopped, then she blinked. Then she came closer. Within five minutes, she climbed off her cage and onto the floor for another exploration. It may not have been the exchange we had, but I would try anything that would bring her out of her shell and ease her fears just a little.

[kittykittykitty]

I am convinced she responded to your intervention.

[katana600]

There is just so much happening in her little whirlwind world right now, I can't keep up. She is becoming brazen in her acrobatic activity. She is all over her cage, her floor stand and in and out of her basement apartment. She spends as much time on the floor of her cage as she does high above on her playtop. Her quiet withdrawals are becoming shorter and less frequent. She is gaining the ability to soothe herself and return to middle ground emotionally. She still has frightfully intense bouts of fury, I have no idea what tripped her little hair trigger yesterday but it is as close as I have come to being bitten in the face. Well, I do have an idea. She played with a foot toy and it fell on the floor. As a dutiful companion and servant to her royal highness, I got up and gave it back to her. She tossed it purposely this time, I mistakenly thought we were "playing" so I picked it up and handed it to her on the cage playtop. There are not enough words to describe the fierce, sustained effort to attack me. I am not quick on the uptake and thought at first she was excited to get her toy back. Apparently, my one-eyed blinking armless posture has convinced her not only am I a flock member, but a lesser flock member not worthy of touching her darn toys. LOL. She went inside, uprooted and flung each food and water dish and had her little foot stomping hair-raising snit. I walked away and turned my chair with my back to her and it was over as quickly as it started. I am convinced that as she explores and sees there is much much more to this big world than her little cozy corner that she gets overstimulated and setting up an attack lets off some anxiety. But just as I drift off to sleep I wonder if I am being a polyanna and I am opening Pandora's box to unleash upon my quiet little kingdom. LOL. Not a chance, I know she is the entertaining, exquisite and delightful little companion. I am equally aware she is a wild creature out of her element and it is a delicate balance of autonomy and companionship that we have created. No wonder we have a forum dedicated to working together to make this experience the best it can be for our greys.

[danmcq]

Well, I do have an idea. She played with a foot toy and it fell on the floor. As a dutiful companion and servant to her royal highness, I got up and gave it back to her. She tossed it purposely this time, I mistakenly thought we were "playing" so I picked it up and handed it to her on the cage playtop. There are not enough words to describe the fierce, sustained effort to attack me. I am not quick on the uptake and thought at first she was excited to get her toy back. Apparently, my one-eyed blinking armless posture has convinced her not only am I a flock member, but a lesser flock member not worthy of touching her darn toys. LOL. She went inside, uprooted and flung each food and water dish and had her little foot stomping hair-raising snit.

 

How dare you pick up something she just placed on the floor by dropping!!!

 

She's a genius, don't you know? If she wasn't so done with that foot toy, she wouldn't have been dumb enough to drop it to the floor. What were thinking? Now you've gone and raised the gates of hell and the Loki the master of mischief and disaster. She's gonna let you know by doing her best "Punker" destruction of everything to let you know she is tired of the "Establishment" and their rules!!!

 

You need to get with the program and realize you "Normal" (in your mind) Humans need to quit trying to correct a perfectly normal behavior of tossing, trashing, beating the crap of, setting on fire etc. of THEIR stuff if they want to!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!

 

Rules, we greys make our own and don't forget it!

[VStar Mama]

Uh oh....looks like Dayo got to the computer while danmcq's back was turned.

 

Or did Dayo tie dan up and put him in a closet?

[kittykittykitty]

Probably the latter.

[katana600]

Oh Dan. You and Dayo are prophets. She and Loki unleashed something upon me this morning. Several times while I was having my morning coffee Miss Gilbert climbed down and explored then climbed back up on her cage. I was quietly watching and encouraging her to stretch her comfort zone. Then I noticed it got real quiet in the living room and came back to check on her. I got a little nervous when I didn't see her in the dining room. When I walked away, she piped up. She was hiding behind the drapes. I thought she was hiding because she got scared. When I leaned over as I usually do, she came toward me to step up as she usually would. But then she tried to jump on me and was trying to bite first my hand and when zi stood up she went after my feet. She was so darn mad at being interrupted in her new territory I had to grab a placemat off the table to fend her off. She waddled back to her cage and pouted a bit. Then it got quiet and I heard three loud snaps. Sure enough she was off her cage in the dining room. She was chewing the wood off the bottom of my china cabinet! She had three chunks off it. Then she was REALLY mad when I told her to get out. She seriously came at me and I swear I was just going to corral her with the placemat but I really wanted to get the police with riot gear and a fire hose on her. She retreated to her cage but this isn't over. I think we just had our first fight. LOL. The little sh... You know, what she says. David says its because I was auditioning the name Gertrude today. Later she was acting all sweet and calling me LuLu little lady. I am putting the gates back up across the dining room and hoping that let's her know that just because she declares dibs, I didn't agree to her new ideas.

[kittykittykitty]

How long will it take for her to figure out how to go over, under, around the gates???

[danmcq]

Wow, that was a pretty good battle. You may need to start suiting up in body armor for these, although she needs none. It kind of reminds me of the 300, but in this case it's just 1 grey weighing less than a pound fighting off a giant over 100 pounds. You may end up having to move out of HER house.

 

She is certainly overcoming the fear of the unknown very quickly now it seems. I love hearing about her explorations of distant lands.

[Ray P]

The shell has been broken and Pandora`s box is open.

Now you can live the adventure.

[Greywings]

She is so brave now, taking on the giant and the china cabinet, no furniture will ever be safe again.

[VStar Mama]

Got a full face helmet? Sounds like you are going to have to start wearing the motorcycle gear whenever you're home. Maybe a set of racing leathers?

[katana600]

Funny, I have the full face helmet, ballistic nylon full body kevlar, gloves and boots and that is for my wild rides out in the open on the busiest highways in Atlanta with tractor trailers and hostile traffic, where I am generally feeling confident and relatively safe. And none of that would make a difference put up against a determined 385 grams of ruffled feathers and that beak. I got to reading Talon's thread about Nilah refusing to go in her cage and making her late for work. I am thinking moats, secret trap doors and a fire hose in the dining room this morning. Hahahahaa.... . she isn't going to beat me without a little skin off her beak. Just kidding, I woke up with a smile thinking about how she is now so active and how she is now capable of getting upset and expressing that with great drama and then moving on without any blood letting, feather yanking or nervous chewing and feather destruction. In fact, as I was standing there with my placemat in its proper place on the table, Miss G on her cage door and me with one eye closed and arms behind my back, I observed her chest feathers are completely regrown after the time I was away with family in the hospital. Last night I started telling David about her behavior, I showed him the wood chunks that need to be repaired on the furniture and he came in and chided Miss Gilbert. She went into a long explanation, we couldn't understand most of it, but she said "Marilyn" a few times. I think she was threatening to take her cage and go back to Pennsylvania without me. Now that I have read your comments, how thick could I be, she was telling me to pack my crap and get out of her house. She really has made a 180 degree turn in recent weeks. I have attached lots of porch perches on the outside of her cage and put things on them like a small roll of toilet paper, lids from plastic dishes, foot toys, small parakeet toys, extra adding machine tapes, extra perches and made it a little wonderland. It is great to see her brave enough to explore but the goal is to keep her occupied and interested without losing any fingers or toes. When I think of her hiding behind the drape, I laugh now because my first response was, 'oh poor little thing is hiding, she is scared". She wasn't scared, she was hiding to prevent detection so she could destroy my house without interference from the killjoy LuLu.

[Luvparrots]

Ahhh Miss Gilbert, I really enjoy hearing about you and your war with Lulu! If anyone is keeping score, you are winning hands down!.

[danmcq]

Lulu is a four letter word that miss G is using for you!

 

Enjoy your newly made over grey with a tude. This is what you have been working on for the last 3 years and it is happening. Note: Adding a trap door will only work on you, as miss G gets you so wound up that you will activate it and fall in yourself. I would rethink the thoughts of booby traps (well a little pun intended) ..... You will end up setting everyone off. Your going to need that bullet proof battle gear.

 

I am so loving reading of Miss G's flowering personality, boldness and exploration. Thanks for always keeping this thread updated. :)

[kittykittykitty]

And a big thank you from me, also

[katana600]

I am the one to thank all of you for the encouragement. I am discovering my memory isn't what it used to be and things fall through the cracks but with so many of you watching and reminding me of things Miss Gilbert likes or doesn't from long ago helps me considerably. For now, she has one big day of exploring followed by one quieter day of recovery. But the greatest news is that she is not silent and withdrawn while she recovers now. The new behavior just keeps getting more and more brazen and normal. In her down time she is climbing all over the inside and outside of her cage, she is exploring all of her toys, trying new foods and accepting all sorts of things I would never have believed she would open her heart to consider even one year ago. Miss Gilbert's highs are not so high, her lows are not so low and her mood swings are become less often and more normalized every day.

[Ray P]

Miss Gilbert had to keep you on the fence for a while.

 

OH, just to let you know, I like the name Miss Gilbert. Don`t know why, I just do.

[kittykittykitty]

Dee, what a thrill for me to experience this transformation vicariously. I'm off to see Precious Saturday.

[katana600]

@Ray, it was just a place holder until the right name came along, but I do think it may ultimately be our solution. She has lived with the name Gilbert for so long and she identifies herself by that. Several times today she has called out to me and told me "Gilbert okay". Time will tell but Miss Gilbert it is for now, its growing on me. @Howardine I got real excited about you going to see Precious tomorrow when it dawned on me today is only Thursday, I was rushing your reunion with family. I can't wait to hear all about it. As far as Miss Gilbert, she has had a couple quieter days. Thank Goodness, I had put the pot for parrot stew on a tall shelf and didn't want to climb up there to get it. LOL. It has been the most amazing journey to watch her change so much so quickly. She has been way more active than usual for a couple of days but she has not climbed down off the cage or floor stand. There was a cute moment when she was being really acrobatic and she slipped and fell about three feet to the base of her branch on the floor stand. She got herself upright and landed on her feet and stretched up real tall like a little Olympic gymnast. She didn't seem at all rattled by it and just looked around, explored a couple of her dropped toys and then gradually just came to the front to climb back up. She has also been playing with more toys. I have small things like the clear lid to a Pringle can, the can itself, a toilet paper roll with a couple of squares of tissue over it, lots of beads, leather strips, cotton preening toys, straw toys, a coconut husk ball and lots of other things hanging on the outside of her cage. I keep adding more as I see her acceTpt new things without getting panicked. Last night and today she has explored and touched every single toy on that cage. Val, (birdhouse) gave me advice that worked with Phenix which is to never hang any toy higher than her perch. So, I put all the perch porch wire cage extension around the bottom and middle of the cage and she has been going lower and lower to find new things. I just feel elated when I watch her gaining confidence and playing jubilantly and gregariously. She really is finding her mojo.

[katana600]

Miss Gilbert has been especially quiet for a couple of days. No doubt she is gathering her reserves and plotting her next move after the great cloth placemat debacle. LOL. She did slide off her cage and go to the floor this evening for the first time in a few days. There is nothing cuter than the fireman slide down the vertical bars and a hop at the end when she reaches the drop to the floor. She has also taken more than a passing interest in my husband. She has been offering her love dance to him with wings drooped and much ado about producing "used" beans as her love offerings to him. There is a small part of me that would rejoice if they became inseparable, but since he travels so much, it might not be the best for her. Ah but the heart wants what the heart wants does it not? They will have their moments when they can and I will be happy for both of them.

[Wingy]

I have been thinking about this name thing and I think I came up with a solution. Have you ever watched those AKC dog shows on television? Some of those dogs have some long and fancy official names but they also have a daily use name or nickname. Why don't you each pick a name, throw it in a basket to randomly choose the order and give her a fancy name but use Miss Gilbert as her daily name. If someone asks you can let out a little chuckle and say well her name is Gwendolyn Martha Cassandra Bethany Elizabeth Stephanie your last name but she answers to Miss Gilbert. Another idea is to pick out names that when the first letter is used it spells Gilbert.

[katana600]

OOhhh, I tap my fingertips together with delight. I love that suggestion. "His" name was Gilbert and I dubbed him Sir Gilbert Machiatto Grande to integrate him into my coffee theme. It all started accidentally with Java, I was really naming her for the Sun Microsystem Java platform and loved that I found a decorative sign to put over her cage "Java House" and then the decorating came around her. Then Juno was a play on words because I traded up the big birthday gift of a dream trip to Alaska. Then came Kopi and his was short for Kopi Luwak (Kopi means coffee and Luwak is loosely interpreted as cat poo)and that way I had in my wicked little mind that if he grew up mischievious and I was irritated I could pretend in my mind I was calling him a little sh**. Isn't it funny I was thinking of a way to say "it" without teaching my baby parrot a naughty word to hold over my head and in comes Miss Gilbert with that being her one power word... I am sure they are reading our minds. I will get busy on that quilted hat with the tin foil lining. You know, because I really AM nutty, but will keep that under my hat and not "in your face" until I choose to vex my children.

[katana600]

And so the transition and takeover plot of Miss Gilbert is taking form. A few days ago when I was doing some serious cleaning, I moved Java's cage just a smidgen too close to Miss Gilbert's and the next thing I knew there she was taunting Java from the top of her cage. Now that Miss G has had a quiet spell she is on the move again. Today she went first to Java's cage and started "pinging" the metal shelf on the bottom to irritate Java and let her know she was out and about while little Java's cage was still closed after breakfast. So, I opened Java's cage to make it a fair exchange. Java has an unfair flight advantage and I have been working for more than five years to train her to stay off everyone else's cage. She came out and dive bombed Miss G, and it was ON. LOL. Miss Gilbert is not going to back down and hunker in fear any longer. I believe we are at the beginning of a change in the hierarchy around here. For the first time, when I walked past Miss Gilbert on the floor, she did not scurry back to her comfort zone, nor did she attack my toes. This time she had a heated exchange with Java, then Java went high and I thought that was the end of it. Next move was Gilbert's, she was intent on finding a way to get from the floor to the back of a high chair. When that didn't work, she attempted to lure Java back to her level by pinging her cage again. That was effective but didn't give the desired effect of getting Java to engage in a ground skirmish so then Miss G decided to engage the dog instead by guarding his ball so he couldn't get to it. When I interrupted this and picked up his ball, she walked over to the wooden trunk, looked right at me and took a chunk out of it. My counter move was to put a blanket over the trunk. Even in the midst of a battle royale for Miss Gilbert to take over alpha female, it is so satisfying to see her find her happy place. She is getting to a middle ground, her highs of Sheba Warrior Princess and lows of Chicken Little are slowly shaping into a middle ground where she can find her voice and become all she can be. Love the result and the process is highly educational to me, sometimes at a price, always with love.

[katana600]

This has been a banner day for Miss Gilbert. She is still on the floor. She will return to her comfort zone, regroup and come back out to play once again. She is overcoming her blanket/towel aversion because her curiousity and desire are getting greater than her fear. She really wants to chew on the wooden trunk and is tugging and pulling on the corner of the fleece blanket to uncover her treasure chest. LOL. Even though I don't want her to destroy my home, I want much more for her to be curious and brave, so I am rewarding her for her effort by hiding happy little surprises in the folds of the blanket now. I can move furniture to one room and seal it off if I want it to be unscathed by parrot beaks. We only live once, I want her to grab life by the little red tailfeathers and find her way in the great big world she is immersing herself into with such fanfare.