Gilbert is home

[katana600]

When Gilbert's plight was mentioned on the forum, I wondered long and hard if I was going to be ready to make such a commitment and if it was going to make a difference in the long term to put time and energy into a seemingly hopeless cause. Now, especially when we have had a good day like yesterday, I think where he will be five months from now... and that I wasted those months being indecisive. The bottom line with taking in any animal or human for that matter is to know you will stick with it for the long haul and love them even when they seem ungrateful and sometimes even when they are downright contrary. Yesterday he played in his travel cage, climbed on the floor and explored the house a little, played with toys and was active for hours. Again at bedtime, he went in sweetly and let me scratch his head like he always does. But, while I was on my computer in the kitchen, I came through to go to bed and he had opened the little door high in his cage, (maybe meant for the nesting box?) and he was out. I was gleeful, I think he was trying to be with me. To my surprise, he offered me a step up, but not too sure, so I offered him my forearm instead of making fingers too available since I couldn't read what he was doing. He stepped up. I gave him a little tour of the house, showed him where I was in the kitchen, showed him how to turn all the lights on and off again and took him back to bed. His eyes were ever so slightly pinning, he was on red alert to be taken away from his comfort zone, but he was calm and watching my face intently. It reminded me of when we had our first baby grey. Gilbert is beginning to get ready to learn more about his new home after 26 months.

[Ray P]

Dee just think what it will be like at 10 years, 15 years and so on.

Gilbert is a part of you and you are a part of Gilbert.

Always remember day one.

[katana600]

Good advice Ray. When I consider the reference point of how he was panting, frightened and bloody from pulling about twenty flight feathers, it is breathtaking. He was so traumatized that afternoon when I met him that I gave up on the idea of getting a motel room and drove eight or nine into the wee hours just to get him home without any more changes. I try not to think about he was feeling back then, but you are astute in taking me back there just to see how far he has already come. When I consider the state he was in and where we are now, I think we are soaring on tattered wings.

Edited May 16, 2013 by katana600
spelling

[Wingy]

I think we are soaring on tattered wings.

 

No I don't think they are tattered any more. I like to think they are emerging like a flower, one petal at a time.

 

Here is the definition of tattered according to Miriam Webster.

 

1

: wearing ragged clothes <a tattered barefoot boy>

2

: torn into shreds : ragged <a tattered flag>

3

a : broken down : dilapidated <decaying houses along tattered paved streets — P. B. Martin>

b : being in a shattered condition <led their tattered party to victory>

 

That may have fit the Gilbert of the past but does not fit the Gilbert of the present.

[katana600]

Gilbert and I are a little frayed right now, but inside our hearts we are both soaring. We take turns being the "wind beneath" the other's wings. Right now he is the one who is coming toward me and gracing me with his trust and confidence. It is good to read posts from all of you with lots more experience saying "just quietly build trust". Dave007 just reminded me of that in another post. There is no "training" necessary until the trust is earned. I am not sure if you have seen the commercial where the little girl says "we want more, we want more"? When Gilbert gets playful and interacts and comes to me, that is how I am feeling inside, but I give him praise and let him back away when he needs to and that seems to be what is giving him confidence. I expected it to be a slow process. If you look at it on a daily basis, or even a weekly basis progress is nearly imperceptible. But, when you look back where he was when he came in, or even a year ago, he is making great strides and becoming a happy healthy grey.

[katana600]

We had severe thunderstorm bursts overnight that had Gilbert unsettled. When he came, his former caretaker let me know this was a huge stressor for him and would usually result in a plucking mania. From what we can piece together and from what we know, he spent all of his first seven years or more in Biloxi MS and weathered major hurricanes next to a military base. With that in mind, the first time we had a thunderstorm when he came, I turned on the inside lights to lessen the impact of the bright lightning strikes. I would sleep on the sofa where he could see me and through the night he would make the sounds of sirens and other danger signals and posturing. We haven't had more than a handful of these occasions so it is memorable and is a good guideline to see his growth. He hasn't resorted to plucking with any storm, but he went from being severely distressed, to later just being vigilant and upset, to being vigilant and self-soothing with "Gilbert okay". Last night since it was so bad out, I came out and turned on just the light in the upstairs so it was dim in the living room near his cage. He was visibly shaken by the storm, but this time he was looking for a little reassurance and he let me rub his head through the bars for twenty minutes at a time. He made long sad mewling sounds like he was crying, but he then melted while he let me give him more of a head massage than he would normally and he surrendered himself and closed his eyes. It is the first time I could stand there and imagine that he would let me scoop him up and take him to my chair and just hold him until the internal storming subsides. Ha. Dream on. The second or third time I came out and responded to his cries, he was warm and softly sleeping, nearly hypnotized by letting me rub his head and shoulders. I quietly opened his door and tried to reach one inch into his cage to rub his head without bars between us. Psyche!! No he was NOT sleeping, he took a swipe at me. I just said okay and closed the door and in seconds he was "in position" for another head rub. Nosiree missus, there will be no taking advantage of him and turning him into a lap dog just because of a storm. LOL. Thanks again to Ray for reminding me to look back sometimes when I feel like we are not making progress.

[Wingy]

Of course Gilbert didn't want to come out he had the comfortable security of his cage and he had your loving touch all in the same place. It was like you getting a back rub from hubby while laying in bed. If hubby all of a sudden grabbed your hand and tried to coax you into the living room you would tell him to either rub your back right there or get lost. All joking aside when Jake is startled by the horn of the fire trucks he often wants the security of his cage top and will become very aggressive if I try and remove him. I think they look to the safety of their "nest" as part of their danger danger fight or flight instinct. That Gilbert let you love on him is huge. Jake would have turned my fingers into mince meat.

[katana600]

There is something mesmerizing about his warmth and scent when he is relaxed and allowing me to indulge in a close contact. The good news with Gilbert today? He has been on the living room floor for four hours. He is snooping in corners, getting in my shoe, tearing apart a cardboard box, climbing back to his cage for reassurance and then going on another little adventure. He walked right up to my chair and asked for a step up, then whe he started looking around I offered to lower him to the floor and he toodled off again. This is the longest time he has spent lower than waist high and the longest he has been away from his cage. Want to know the best part? When he came to me, I lifted him up and looked into his eyes. His pupils were huge, he was relaxed and confident. As I spoke to him, I saw his pupils ever so slightly "calibrating". He still isn't pinning in excitement, but this is as close to emotion as I have seen from him. Well, other than fear, I mean. That's an emotion that has had him locked down tight. Now he is back on his floor stand, he got up there all by himself. He is grinding his beak contentedly and falling asleep. I am so in love with him, even though I got little sleep myself last night, I can't rest because he is mesmerizing me with his outgoing behavior today.

[Ray P]

I bet your on top of the world and soon you will climb the highest mountain.

[katana600]

This was the best weekend ever for Gilbert, he just stayed down off his cage for six hours a day. The box of file folders has been destroyed, so I put another box in the same spot so he has a little job to keep going back to work. I thought he was going to withdraw again yesterday and for a while he was very subdued. But he was just resting. He has been playing with that new acrylic puzzle toy on his cage top and starting to act like a regular grey. He hung upside down so he could get that thing turned up and he shook it and beat the living daylights out of it because he could see inside and there was still a pine nut and the slides were not releasing it the way it was supposed to work. I can't bring myself to take pictures of the huge mess he is making but I can't clean it up either because it is evidence that he is growing and changing and I am just beyond delighted at his progress. The coolest thing of all is that he is starting to branch out and walk all over the living room and will pleasantly oblige me with a step up when he comes to my chair on his own. He doesn't want to stay long, he is just testing to see if he gets what he wants when he wants it. And of course, he does.

[katana600]

I have been told 'be careful what you wish for'. As I have wished and wished for Gilbert to have confidence and freedom he has been getting more and more courage. I have been hoping it would help him be a little sweeter to get him coaxed off the cage where he is defensive and territorial to a more neutral zone. Well, as he has been expanding his horizons, he has been laying claim to new territory. That cage is mine, the floor stand is mine, the box by the stair MINE, that shoe near the box, mine too. While he was off his cage, I refilled his little acrylic puzzle toy and he came back and had some fun with that. I noticed some of the pine nuts were stuck so I took it down and he came over to the edge of his cage to beg for a treat. It was only when I handed him the pine nut that I realized the errors of my ways. He bit my finger and snatched the pine nut at the same time. The little thug. His razor sharp beak when right under my fingernail and while it was smarting the most he ate his pine nut then he grumbled mightily as he stood on the edge of his cage and postured and held his wings up high like a bear when it is trying to look bigger. Next he intently plays with toys on his cage top, climbs around being active and right in the middle of it he stops and hunches up and leans toward me giving me the stink eye and an earful of unintelligible grumbling. I am pretty sure he told me to get out there in the kitchen and make him some pie, and then some. Yesterday I had a small preview of his bluster when he appeard to chase the dog. I thought maybe the dog walking a few feet from him may have startled him and he was reacting to that, but I am now painfully aware that he is becoming a little more "assertive". I am going to be sure to wear shoes when he is out and about and will get the dog's crate back out for them to have a safe place to keep out of his reach. This should be interesting to see where he is going with this. I won't hesitate to remove his floor privileges if he isn't going to behave himself. Hopefully he is just letting off steam after being keyed up at his new freedom and he will settle down when he sees its okay.

[Timbersmom]

LOL what a little tyrant! You shouldn't have been playing with his toy I suspect... Sympathies on the bite though!

[Ray P]

Dee, you have no idea how much I enjoy reading about Gilberts new look on life.

This has to make the last two years so worth while, and you have given us the joy of sharing your trip with you.

Dee I think you are ready for the next step. (How dose Amazon sound)

Edited May 22, 2013 by Ray P

[katana600]

My husband has a saying "mess with the bull and you'll get the horns". He said the same thing as you Karen that I shouldn't have been messing with his toy and food. Then he went over and had a long talk with Gilbert reminding him who cooks his gourmet beans and brings him treats. We went out to dinner and came back to be met with all his LuLu greetings and "sorry" but I am pretty danged sure he ISN'T sorry. He is saying stuff tonight I haven't heard from him, saying "four" over and over again. I recently read somewhere, I can't recall where, that he isn't biting me he is biting his bad memories. Well, the way my finger was throbbing, it felt kinda personal. Come to think of it Ray, I have been mooning over all the pictures of the baby greys and thinking if Juno and Kopi were still with us, they would be four this week. So who knows, Gilbert may have been mind reading and let me know what he thinks about that. In all seriousness though, many times the excitement of a breakthrough or reaching a milestone will cause a stress reaction much like what we had tonight. I am trying not to hold a grudge and he let me scratch his head. There must be something seriously wrong with me to get my fingers close to him again after that surprise nip, but I can't let him go to bed while I am mad at him.

[katana600]

Okay, so this morning, I am recalibrated after the shock of receiving an unpleasant reminder that yes indeed, it was my fault. Gilbert does have a "cage thing" and just because he is getting out and about, being brave and sooo much fun, the cage is still off limits for the time being. I am a quick study, of course a nip will do that for ya. I was lulled into a sense of complacency with his reserved motions up until now, that little guy is FAST. This morning before I opened his cage door, I took the opportunity to refill his foraging toy where I was in a protected environment. I really am in awe of his newfound courage and curiosity. He has played more in the past two weeks than I would imagine he has played in his previous five years total. He is playing with hanging toys, with bells, with foot toys, with sisal and leather and beads, oh my. I can barely stand myself watching for him to learn more and expand his little world.

[Timbersmom]

I'm always surprised at myself when I am lulled into complacency. It's my own fault I know, but after a few months pass I get careless and not as attentive to Timber's body language. I had gone for a few months without a bite. When I pass Timber, I touch his beak which he seems to like. So, about a month ago, I passed, touched his beak and he turned. I touched his tail feather. He latched onto my index finger at the speed of light and gave me a "good" bite. After the fact, I couldn't believe I did that! Ha.

[danmcq]

It is wonderful reading of Gilberts sudden ramp-up of exploration and interaction with the huge world and people that exist outside of his cage. Wonderful news! Almost as the joy watching a human baby take their first step.

[katana600]

So much for him having cage aggression or being territorial. Our daughter walked in the door, hasn't seen him in seven months, and he rushed to step up to her from his play top, way up high over her head. He has the same affection for her that he has for my sister. He is much more reserved with my husband or with me, but he is stuck with us for the duration. LOL. He is building a new life for himself one day at a time. I think he is going to surprise us even more in coming months. When he comes off his cage and walks across the floor with confidence instead of hiding under chairs and being wild eyed with fear, it just makes me feel like I could fly.

[danmcq]

Awww, what a wonderful mental picture that paints fo Gilbert with talon held high in the air anxiously awaiting the stepup to your daughter. I have no doubt that walk across the floor with out fear is going to happen in the near future.

[katana600]

Just one good thing after another with Gilbert. Rachel was so happy that he still has the same affection for her after such a long absence. Come to think of it though, she flew "home" to stay with us twice and saw Gilbert while we were staying with my sister. So, he did see her briefly. Last night after she told him good night and went upstairs he was calling to her trying to get her to come back, it is so endearing. Today, I am cleaning his cage and the floor and walls around him so the cage is shut. (See I did learn something from his sharp little reminder, LOL.) He is hanging upside down and asking her to help him. As soon as it is all dry so I can roll things back, I will let her rescue him. It will be interesting to see if he will climb down to seek her out once he is free again. I just can not dampen my enthusiasm for his new outlook on life. For so many months I worried about him being a wary sentinel guarding himself in his cage, seldom moving from his rigid stance. Now he is a different character altogether. It seems like it happened overnight but I know it was through tiny, almost imperceptible steps forward and fewer and fewer backslides and regressions. I wouldn't even want to do the math on that or count the days... I just accept it as grey time.

[danmcq]

"He is hanging upside down and asking her to help him."

 

I love this. Gilbert is becoming such a character and dropping the "Sentinel" character it seems day by day, as he finds the world outside filled with mean humans is no longer the threat it was in his previous life.

[katana600]

Little by little, day by day the changes are adding up for Gilbert. He has been allowing anyone who walks past his cage to stop and give him a little head scratch. Actually, he is clamoring to get inside his cage on his favorite perch to request head scratches. Not long ago, I was wondering about him launching off the cage top trying to decide if he was attempting flight, if he was flapping and unexpectedly got some lift and let go or if he was simply being startled and losing his balance. The answer to that is becoming more clear after watching him yesterday climb to the playtop's highest point atop the shepherd's hook toy hanger, flapping, leaning to and from and launching himself. He is doing it on purpose and while he isn't getting "lift" he is getting quite a distance away from his cage each time. Also, he doesn't go right back but takes the opportunity to scout around longer and farther on each mission. He made his way to me this morning and obliged with a step up from the floor. He was winded and breathing hard when he climbed up my arm to my shoulder. It was an amazing moment when I realized I could hear his heartbeat for the first time. He is still very skittish and nervous so when he launched off my shoulder and landed about five feet away on the arm of the sofa, I just watched to see what he was doing. He climbed higher to get to the back of the sofa and once again he leaned, looked, swayed and beat his wings to get from there to the floor. Then he cautiously watched all around him and slowly made his way back to his cage where he could climb back up on his own. In the past couple of weeks he has advanced from getting startled and jumping off his cage and calling for help to being able to calm himself and get back up to his cage on his own. From there he has graduated to purposefully climbing down to explore and then returning to his cage and now to attempted flights and returns. It is hard to sit back and do "nothing" when he looks so panicked and desperate but it is building his self confidence and self reliance and he is definitely evolving into the character he is meant to be.

[Timbersmom]

Wow, that's great! Gilbert is just growing by leaps and bounds these days!

[danmcq]

Gilbert is certainly becoming very bold and adventuresome these last few weeks. It is so wonderful to read of this after all this time. You BOTH deserve this and I look forward to hearing more as it continues to progress almost daily now.

[katana600]

It is just one fast roller coaster ride lately. Lots of twists and turns and full speed ahead for this little guy. He waves his foot every time my daughter passes by his cage. She took him down to the den to watch them play video games and he didn't get anxious. He is trying new foods and ate a little sprouted wheatgrass. He seems so much more interested and curious in everything. He is chatting quite a bit, saying things we haven't heard before. He still tells my husband "Quiet" every day and then chuckles at himself.