Gilbert is home

[Wingy]

I love battle time. They get so mad when something dare touch them. Jake has a habit of crouching to walk under a low hanging bell and then punishing it for touching his back. He yells at it, charges it and then like Gilbert shakes the heck out of it.

[katana600]

It is so good to know that Gilbert is acting like any other grey. I have to admit, I was laughing to myself at the ferocity of his reaction to something touching him without his express permission. I'm a little like that myself, LOL. I just can't get over how we seemed to be at a standstill for so many months, then it seems like overnight, he has evolved from a frightened, shut-down and pulled tight refugee to an advanced interactive family member. I have to go back and check my thread to see that it really has been a four month gradual improvement. It is unusually early for us to be awake, but already he is up and out of his cage playing with toys in the dark. Last night he surprised me again with a fluttering of wings and "jumped" over my head and glided completely across the living room. He doesn't have any lift yet, but he certainly is showing a willingness and memory of flight. Putting the travel cage on the floor with rope connections changed everything for him. He gathered himself up and walked back across the floor and pulled himself back to the cagetop independently and I think that makes a huge difference in his confidence. He continues to bond with David and has been not only soliciting scratches outside the cage, he gets excited to see him come into the room and will run to lean toward him. Now he will gently rub his beak on David's fingers kind of as if he is greeting him with a handshake, he beaks his fingers gently and offers to step up every time. With me, I still have the bars between us but it is kind of funny if Gilbert is on the playstand he will be standoffish and reject an offer for a scratch, but if I put my hand inside his cage, he runs across the branch to the cage, grabs the bars and offers me a bowed head for a scratch. That is with me on the inside of the cage and he on the outside. When I fill his food and water he runs quickly to get in and guard his home against my "intrusion". David can reach right in and remove a dish while Gilbert stands next to it and he doesn't ruffle a feather. I'm happy to see the "boys" bonding and seeing the capacity Gilbert has to love again. This morning as he was going out the door, David called back in "see ya later Lulu". I am not so sure Gilbert is a good influence on him. Hahahaha.

[Greywings]

Lu lu that is too funny, his journey has been amazing so far I always rejoice for him and you when I read of his progress. Pookie loves to beat up her toys as well but she also gets some of them swinging so they will rub her back or head where she sits with eyes closed enjoying the fruits of her labors.

Edited November 26, 2012 by Greywings

[Acappella]

This morning as he was going out the door, David called back in "see ya later Lulu". I am not so sure Gilbert is a good influence on him. Hahahaha.

 

I have to admit, I saw this one coming.

[katana600]

Among our family and friends we are often saying "Who is parroting whom?" Believe me, Lulu is a promotion for me with the sense of humor this group enjoys. LOL. Gilbert is our fearless little ring leader of late. He has been roaming the house, getting into mischief, tearing things up, playing with toys and doing a lot of mumbling and chattering that leaves me wondering what we are going to hear next. I know he was pre-loved when I hear him saying things like "good morning sweetheart" and "night night. Sweet dreams" and of course telling me all day that "Gilbert's a good boy" and "Gilbert's okay". Tonight he climbed off his cage, trekked across the living room to my chair where he offered me an unsolicited step up. The thing is, my chair was between him and the object of his desire sitting on the sofa and once I lifted him up he wanted to go to David. Hey, whatever it takes to give me my moment and my smile. I don't mind being tossed aside for a better offer at this point. LOL. It is really sweet to think about Pookie getting her toys to give her a little head rub. That is just precious.

[Timbersmom]

LOL Yes, you sure learn to take it however you can get it from them! If I have the cheese, Timber becomes the most compliant bird in the world... smart little creatures they are.

[katana600]

I keep trying to find a magical food for Gilbert. If I want him to go into his cage, all I have to do is even "think" about getting him an almond and he will run inside and ask for a cracker. That usually is only because he really wants to go inside his cage anyway and he wants to be rewarded for it. LOL. As he gets darn good and ready to come to me, I know by being patient he will do it with or without an enticement, but man would it be nice to find his "currency". Just like my fervent wishes for his gift of flight to return to him, I am marking the calendar on the day that he is bugging me and insisting on coming to me while I am intent to do something else... I will tell myself "be careful what you wish for". LOL. After so many months of seeing Gilbert hunched over clinging to his perch and shaking if anyone talked to him or came near the cage, when I see him dance and lean to get David close and then to nibble his fingers and nudge his hand for a scratch on the head, I am doing a big happy dance inside while I have a poker face for Gilbert so hopefully he doesn't realize how much I want for him to be free and expressive even if he forever looks at me as his "domestic help". LOL I might be stuck in a character role of chief cook and bottle washer for the rest of my days. "Woman, get out in the kitchen and make me some pie!" LOL or more like "Hey Lulu bring me some beans." I will take what I can get from him but I believe the day will come when I wonder why I wanted so much for him to come to me when he is destroying the keys on my laptop or otherwise tormenting me up close and personal. LOL

[chelseaB]

Up close & personal- yes, you will never go to the bathroom alone again!!

[katana600]

I bought a ticket to the Powerball and stayed up late to check my numbers. Not a single number matched but I have won the lottery tonight regardless. Gilbert is sitting on my shoulder as I am typing! When he was regaling me with night nights, I went to get him an almond and tuck him in as he was asking. To my greatest surprise, he reached out his foot to step up. I dutifully was helping him to his cage so he would have the choice to go to bed because he was trembling so. He stepped up on his perch, but reached for me again so I carried him to my chair. He sat on my knee and nuzzled my fingers. This is the first time he has initiated touching me in such a long time, I am incredulous. He is making his begging noise and telling me "hey" on my shoulder. When I stop typing, he is bowing his head and letting me rub his neck while he presses his whole body against my cheek. I feel as if I am dreaming! I have goosebumps, it seems as if I have the hand of an angel on my shoulder right when I need it most. I posted something today about moments with Gilbert that remind me of Juno and Kopi. As I started my day, I was working in the basement on a quilt and wondering if I can finish it in time for the daughter of a friend. She was in a car accident coming home for Thanksgiving. The family received the news that her MRI shows a devastating brain injury and it is really bad. When I got ready to go quilt, it is chilly down there, so I was rummaging around in the far back of my closet to get a sweatshirt when my hand was on the "Shades of Grey" gift from Juno's breeder. I haven't had the heart to wear it in all this time. I am wearing that sweatshirt while Gilbert is giving me his trust and warmth and love. There. I have won the lottery. Life is good. Thanks for being there to share this with me.

[Greywings]

Heavy moment in many ways, beautiful and poignant at the same time. You and Gilbert finally had a melting moment there, wonderful!

[katana600]

Thank you, it was very emotional and not because it was a long awaited acceptance, but because he has reached a milestone of his life with us and relaxed enough to have trust and a close interaction that he did not want to stop once he let down his guard. We were up until almost two am because every time I took him back to his cage, he turned back to me and raised his foot for another step up. He has been really quiet and withdrawn today and that is is way, so I am giving him room and time to catch up on his sleep. The truth is, it had me so overwrought with conflicting feelings, I couldn't have gone to sleep if I wanted. Once I finally got him settled down, I sat in the dark with a small glass of wine... I don't know if I was celebrating or just trying to unwind and relax. He has been eating with us for the past couple of weeks and grudgingly trying new foods. I will cook a sweet potato and chop that up to give him warm off my plate and other foods that are good for him. Today he saw me with a bowl of home made tortilla soup and he gave me the "come hither" hoots and "want some" pleas. He ate off my spoon and loved the beans and some chicken. I was beginning to think he had a hollow leg, he ate way more than I would expect his crop to hold and continued to ask for more. We have turned a corner. I don't expect all sunshine and rose gardens, but things are really looking up for Gilbert. Slow little grey steps. Great big smiles and happiness here.

[katana600]

As I expected, Gilbert took a couple great big steps forward, then had to idle in neutral a couple of days to figure out what it means to him. The very next day after having sweet gentleness toward me he was grouchy and I attributed that to being tired from staying up too late, so I kept busy downstairs sewing and let him get some rest. I made sure to keep track of bed time for him and focused on going to bed at his regular time. He snatched his night time almond with such ferocity and flung it out of his cage and tried to bite me and I just let him go to bed with his case of mad on. The next day he was determined to rid his cage of every food dish. He systematically and methodically worked and worked until he got every stainless steel cup out of the holder and flung it to the floor of his cage, then went down and flung them out the open door. He got his water dish out and spattered water ten feet up the wall he was so forceful. I have given him his space, talked quietly to him and he is coming back to center again. Whew, just breathe Gilbert. When David returned from his business trip, Gilbert was all over that, stepping up, giving him kisses and denying all the stories I had to tell. Then, David dropped a bowl of soup and as it crashed to the kitchen floor, Gilbert shouted his favorite cuss word about it being on the floor. And.... with that he has turned the corner from giving me the stinkeye to being back to his Dr. Jeckyl from Mr. Hyde. LOL. At least now that we have been together so long and I see a glimmer of hope of more good days to come, it is a lot easier not to take those scary Gilbert days so personally.

[kittykittykitty]

I never cease to marvel at what Gilbert does. Or the love you have for him.

[birdhouse]

They really act like they scare themselves when they take these giant steps. Then maybe we complicate the aftershock because our energy can't help but change. Doesn't matter that it's happy, hopeful or whatever. It's different & that's a trigger. I think these types of fids are already programmed to react aggressively when they're not fully comfortable. So the combination causes a backlash after those oh so wonderfully momentous break throughs.

 

So good though that Gilbert took out all that aggression on something "constructive" so to speak. Super great progress!!

 

And I really respect how well you roll w/it because it can feel borderline abusive, living w/this Jeckyl & Hyde thing. It was one of the highest hurdles I had to cross because I didn't have anyone to warn me or explain it. You & Gilbert are so lucky that you have resources to draw from.

 

But it doesn't change the fact that so much of this story is about you having been so patient, generous & loving. You've earned these glorious highs, Dee. Just like you've earned the relationship you'll eventually have w/the amazing fid Gilbert will eventually become. "Happily ever after" doesn't happen nearly often enough. But I'm more encouraged all the time that it will happen for the two of you. Not just because you would be happy w/whatever Gilbert can manage. But because you two "have come a long way, baby" & there's just no end in sight!

[katana600]

Thank you kittykittykitty, I appreciate all the people sending their best wishes to Gilbert to overcome most of his fears. Okay... I have a confession, today when David offered Gilbert a treat he knocked it out of his hand and gave him a warning pinch, I grinned. It really is about Gilbert's nerves getting jangled and him working to find ways to get back to a more relaxed state and not personal. He has been so quiet for a couple of days. If there is one thing I learned from so many of you doing this and sharing your story it is to just step back and not to push him. It doesn't work that way for all parrots, but Gilbert really has such a bankrupt trust system that he needs tiny little deposits and a chance to pick himself up, dust himself off and reinvent himself now and again. Every day it seems I find a little evidence of where Gilbert climbed down the floor stand to tear paper off a toy or have the great discovery of watching him pull on leather laces of another toy. Success is sweeter when we have to earn it and he is going to earn himself a happy life, all I have to do is wait. Oh, and pick up the shrapnel that he sends flying. Two hours of tenderness from him was well worth two years of waiting. I could not love him any more which is a relief because when I lost Juno, I didn't think any other grey would compare. There is no better, just wonderful in a different way.

[Acappella]

Dee, as a favour to you, I have tapped into Gilbert's thoughts. They go like this. "Sure she loves me when I'm all sweet, but what about if I do THIS (throws food). Or THIS (throws dish food was in). Or THIS (dumps water). Or how 'bout THIS (swears). NO, I don't WANT THAT ALMOND that you spent good money on. How 'bout THAT?! Huh? She's still Smiling?!? What's that about? I gotta think about this further. (tucks up a leg and begins to grind beak 'cause all that activity is tiring). . . Look, Dad's home. Bet she'll get mad if I suck up to him (chuckles evily to himself). She'll really get mad if I let him scratch my head. hee hee hee... Ooooh, that feels good... ... ... .... wait, I was trying to make a point ... what was it? ... COOKIE!!!

[katana600]

Oh dear, you have me laughing so hard I nearly snorted my coffee through my nose. You are a genius grey telepathy reader, I am thinking that is exactly what he hasn't yet put into words for me. The last thing before going to bed, I pick Java up and give her a little cuddle before tucking her in and Gilbert watches, calls her a pretty girl and waits his turn. I sometimes think he is tell her "watch this" on the occasions when he does a bow for a scratch as a lure for a quick spin and alligator snap. LOL. We had an office gathering last night and when I was turning off the main lights at six and telling the parrots night night, David said "Uh oh, they know it is not time for bed, you are going to be in big trouble when we get home." When we arrived home late, I still gave them their night time routine. Gilbert came out of his cage and went down to his travel cage. There have been foot toys down there for weeks and weeks and he has not touched them. It was the cutest thing to watch him pick them up one by one and drop them in the stainless steel dish like he was being a good boy to tidy up before bed. Then he snatched up that big bowl and flung it to the floor. Hahahaa. He was making a dramatic statement. He was well rested and didn't want to go to bed and when I offered a step up, he readily obliged. We put a cover on our bed and let him come in and wander between us for a while. This is one of the first times he has shown himself to be calm and cooperative out of sight of his cage. It was really endearing. After a few minutes of exploration, he walked over to me and lifted his foot to offer me a step up and said "night night Gilbert". He keeps giving me just enough to continue to get what he wants, then lets me know he only did it because it was in his best interest. LOL.

[kittykittykitty]

Oh, yes! The look, the voice, the actions!!!

[katana600]

This week has been busier than most and Gilbert has been stepping up his game. He has become obsessed with climbing down the front of his cage, bracing his feet, then pulling the handle of the bottom tray to open it. At first I thought he must have dropped an almond down there, so I opened it to see what he might be after. He didn't want anything. Even after cleaning the cage, he opens it while it is fresh. He just is doing it because he can. Also, while I am in the basement sewing, he has been calling for Lulu hundreds of times. It is the funniest thing. He uses a voice I have never heard from him, it sounds like he has a mouthfull of water and is gargling. It sounds like a woman's voice and he is definitely referring to me as Lulu. "Hey, Lulu" "Whatcha doing there Lulu" "Where'd ya go Lulu". He is also playing with all his foot toys and he will wander on the floor intermittently but with much more curiousity and nerve. I am just loving the new blossoming of Gilbert. What a character.

[kittykittykitty]

He is so special! So are you for all your work and patience.

[Timbersmom]

Gilbert is so lucky to have you Lulu! Timber has a fascination with the tray on his cage as well. I'm assuming that because the grate prevents him from getting to it when he is in the cage, he feels he must check it out when he is out!

[Greywings]

He is a character indeed, you have made so much progress in his retraining of you. Sometimes they just make you think and sometimes every day is a surprise and once in a while the day is a gift. Having an all rehomed flock myself I know how those little (huge) victories feel, good on you.

[katana600]

I was reflecting on Gilbert and his recent growth in every area but especially in the things he says. He keeps me guessing every day at the things he might say to reveal his story of where he has been loved previously. He uses distinctly different male and female sounding voices for his verbalizations. This Lulu business keeps me laughing, it sounds female almost childlike. He uses phrases I haven't heard before but when he includes his Lulu it is in that same voice. Tonight he announced "Gilbert okay" and David said "Of course you're okay Gilbert, did you think you weren't okay?" Gilbert answered "No." We laughed, he laughed and you know, Gilbert is okay, we are more certain of that every day. Something I have noticed lately is when I come close and talk to him, he may cock his head and look at me suspiciously with one eye, but his chest is no longer quivering when he is in that "alert" posture. It has been ages since he was so hesitant to allow me to scratch his head through the bars of his cage. He hasn't spun around to take a swipe at me in a really long time and he now is eager for a head rub every time I am walking around the room. He doesn't flinch at sudden noises or launch himself off his cage. Some of that defensive behavior ebbed away so slowly, I can't quite recall when the last time was just a gradual realization that he is in a whole new mindset. Perhaps he saw that haul of ten pounds of almonds I found in the grocery store because it is the holiday season and that gave him the idea he is here for the long haul. Nothing says forever home in bird speak like a year's supply of almonds stashed in the freezer.

[katana600]

In the past I have read that "the floodgates have opened". I really didn't think that applied to Gilbert in regard to his talking because he has had several phrases he repeats that never fail to get an "awwww" out of us. He has some other things that he blurts out that I hope to never hear again, but take in stride and try not to laugh when it surprises me. Well, little did I know, but something that started with his "Lulu" has opened up some kind of latent chattering and sound effects he must have forgotten about. Last night he was making some of the most raucious and abrasive sounds I didn't know were possible. We were out for the evening and came home about eleven and he was up past his bedtime. He must have said "Hey Lulu" seventy five times while he was in the dark after we went to bed. He made sounds that sounded like no animal, machine or video game that are beyond description. He finally went to bed, but this morning when he awakened he started again. He isn't upset or anything, just loud and repetitive. In fact, he reminds me of a toddler who learned for the first time the power of shouting "No!" Part of me has my hair on end hoping and praying he forgets these noises and goes on to something quieter and more pleasant. The other part is cheering him on for the gusto and sheer joy he has found to express himself. Mostly... dear lord what I have I done that I have been praying and encouraging him to come out of his shell. The icing on the cake will be if he finds that he can fly this week so there is no escaping him by running down to my sewing room to work quietly all by myself. Hahahahaha. I love the new side of Gilbert even though it is more than a little disturbing at times. He will go on a sustained noisemaking jag, then stop and be quiet for a second waiting for a reaction and then when we say nothing he says "Whhooooooo whoooo" and laughs himself silly. He KNOWS he could yank my chain any time he gets the notion. The little stinker.

[kittykittykitty]

I am really in love with Gilbert through your sharing. Thank you.