Gilbert is home

[Wingy]

Consider sitting down with your fleece alone and let Gilbert see you and then call to him asking if he would like to come over. This way he knows what to expect, where he is going and has the option to decline (saving you both from a bad experience if he just isn't in the mood).

Edited September 15, 2012 by Wingy

[katana600]

Wingy, I hadn't thought of it that way, but it does seem to work out that Gilbert is in his cage a few feet away when he will start talking or leaning or bobbing to get my attention that cues me to think he is being receptive to some interaction. He seems to be the one to call to me rather than me going up to him and asking him to come to me. He can't fly and his balance is really bad so there is no chance he can come to me and he is generally very reluctant to leave his cage. We have been working for months just to get him to step up from the rope perch loop on his cage door. He has been so frantic to get back to his cage that at first I would just ask if he wants to go back. He would step up to me and then I would immediately ask if he wants to go back. Gradually over a really long period of time and a lot of repetitions and rewards for the step up, I would walk five steps away and then take him back, stand near the door and ask if he wants to go back. As time went on, he was not as eager to jump off my hand and if he didn't "bolt" at the opportunity, I would repeat the walk away and back. When we are home alone for several days he is willing to go for a walk through each room of the main floor and that is huge for him. I watch his face and he will start looking back toward his cage, his eyes will dart and he will flap his wings as a sign that he is reaching his limit. Once he got so he would sit on his floor stand, I would push it next to his cage and if he feels like coming closer, he will get on it, I will wheel it close to where I am sitting and give him some pine nuts when he walks to the end closest to me. He is much more willing to step up from the stand and I think that is because of his cage issues. Last night was too much for him even though I kept it short and offered him to go back and took him as soon as he looked uncomfortable. Today he is staying inside his cage and is flinging his pellets out, going to the grates to get some almond shells and flinging them out too. When I offered him a favored pistachio, he took it gently but then tossed it and quickly tried to bite me through the bars. I take that as his wariness that I might try to get him out of his cage so I am not going to try the rope perch extraction again. Even though he did it, I think it was only because it caught him off guard. He may just need to get his bearings and feel safe in his cage again, so I am not going to breach his boundaries. One of the hardest things to do is to stop while we are ahead.

[judygram]

Like someone else said sometimes you take one step forward and two back and it seems to be this way for you and Gilbert but you have come a long way with him and when it all equals out you have come forward more than you have had to step back. Yes its taken you two a long time but he has had a log of baggage to work thru and you are patient with him which is what he needs.

[katana600]

Thanks Judy, through your words and others, I have recognized that I was pushing Gilbert when I got him out the second night because I wanted to take advantage of his willingness to come out with me. That was not the right approach in his mind and I was overlooking his reluctance thinking there are times to step back and times to encourage him more. This is our time to step back and give him the chance to regroup. It was huge for him to sleep on my shoulder so even if I am hands off for a while, we are still way ahead. Last night and this morning he was eager for me to scratch his head so we are still okay but there will be no more drawing him out of his cage until he is good and ready. In hind sight there were a lot of cues that I overlooked the second night when he came out for me. When he was going to my toes, he was distancing himself and even though he willingly stepped up, I am sure he was expecting me to offer to take him back. When I finally got that, he was eager to return to his comfort zone. Also, I had offered him pine nuts while he was on my lap and he took them gently, but dropped them and that should have been my cue that he was uncomfortable. I will listen better the next time. I thought I was doing well because he wasn't making any quick movements or offering to bite me, but especially when he is making changes that are encouraging to me, I need to be a better observer of his body language and listen to the subtle cues and not think I have to wait for him to offer me a bite before I give him the offer to go back. I have to admit, I wanted more but there is a saying of "always leave them wanting more" and maybe Gilbert has been reading over my shoulder and he is trying that tactic with me. Tiny little steps.

[Wingy]

Gilbert may not be able to fly but he does speak to you through his body language and actions. Just remember to give what you are doing a name so that he can begin to associate it with the action. I didn't realize you had a wheelie stand. Wheel him over, turn on a movie, get under your fleece and then ask would you like to come? He knows he'll get scratches but he also knows its ok just to hang out.

 

I do want to take this time to let you know that you are an inspiration to me. Jake may not be a rehome with issues but as a baby I struggle through learning about him as he learns about himself. Through your writings about Gilbert you have taught me how to watch for the most subtle of clues and how the smallest of actions can lead to large victories.

[katana600]

Thank you Wingy, your words gave me an emotional response. It is so hard to know what to do for Gilbert, when to push, when to wait, when to back off entirely. I am writing so I can go back and remember the things I forgot because I assure you, he forgets nothing. I have to admit that I have come to the realization that I am pushing him more than I might normally because of something he knows nothing about. Rachel has been instrumental in Gilbert reaching a more "hands on" acceptance. She is leaving in two weeks for her first full time job, far away from us. He will happily step up for her every time she asks and she will offer to hand him off to me and he accepts every time. He also steps up off the floor to me, off his play stand to me, but he quit stepping up from his cage when I got braces on my teeth and that has been a long time now. I realize now that I was feeling the clock ticking and disregarded my own tendencies to not push him because I wanted to restore that behavior. So, I have to change my thinking. There is no rushing a grey relationship and no shortcuts to trust. On the other hand, if I never gently encouraged Gilbert to advance, he would still be huddled up in the corner of his cage. In the end it is all about watching for those subtle clues, asking for more and many many times accepting no. That doesn't mean I can't ask him five minutes later and get a different answer, but he has to trust that when he says no, I am okay with that for now.

[birdhouse]

With everyone coming & going this summer, why wouldn't Gilbert be reminded that he could lose another special human & want to distance himself beforehand? I really think things will improve when the dust settles & he sees you're still standing there.

 

You guys will work your way out of Gilbert's current whatever. We'll all do the happy dance with you. Of course then he'll move on to his next whatever. Uhmm, best just forget I mentioned that.

[katana600]

It is raising the hairs on my neck a little that I step back and think about things and when I come back in, I find you have read my mind and posted something that I was thinking. I so love that he has opened up to David and Rachel and I know I had a lot to do with encouraging him and at the same time teaching them how to interact and to recognize when to step forward and when to step back and how to read his body language. Then, when he joyfully comes running every time he hears a sound from upstairs and knows Rachel is coming at the same time as he is giving me the cold shoulder, it stings a little. Just this afternoon when I had verbalized my fears that Rachel's influence and assistance would soon be gone, I had a thought that when it is just Gilbert and me for days at a time, he will be more appreciative that I am here. It made me just a tinge guilty but then you came in and put in different words and it is all going to be okay. On a side note, Rachel should have left immediately after our trip and started Sept 6th. We have another whole month with her due to Gilbert's syndrome. When she took her DOT physical, she felt ill after 50 squats in under one minute. She passed the physical, but understandably they wanted more medical testing since she will work with hazardous materials and a commercial driving license. That opened our eyes that there is such a real thing as Gilbert's syndrome and it wasn't really just to spend another month with our Gilbert.

[birdhouse]

Soo, are you sayin I'm scary, Dee???

[katana600]

Scary on target! I have backed off with Gilbert and I am trying some new things to encourage him to move forward in ways that do not include contact. He has been challenging my presence anywhere near his cage. For now, I am minimizing any opportunities for him to bite. He did give me a fakeout last night. The less I have approached, the more he has persisted in calling to me and asking for a scratch. At bedtime, I couldn't resist and he bit me for the first time in a long time. Today I am more resolved to creating exercises that will give him more mobility and exercise hoping that will build his confidence. He asked for a cracker, which is what he calls any food. I moved his travel cage close to his open door, on the floor. I made a big production over showing him a pistachio, then dropped it into one of his stainless steel food dishes, and set it within his reach on top of the travel cage. He was so funny, cautiously climbing down, stretching so he didn't have to leave the safety of touching his cage. He got the treat and scuttled back to the safety of his cage. Phew. Then, I moved the food dish just out of his reach so he would have to get off the cage, but he can easily reach to get back. He tried everything, pulled the whole travel cage closer, but still couldn't reach. Tentatively, he climbed off his cage but startled himself and jumped to the floor. He hid a minute under his big cage. I said nothing. He came out, looked around a little, walked to the front door to look though the side light windows. Then like little military man on a covert mission, he made his way back to the travel cage. He retrieved his prize and then stood there to eat it instead of rushing back into his cage. It is a small step, but I feel a great triumph for him to overcome a little bit of his fear. He is inside his cage again by his own choice and he is grinding his beak. Whew, it was a big morning and now he needs a nap.

[Wingy]

Yeah Gilbert. It took a lot of courage to go exploring. I bet you were holding your breath and were afraid to move when you saw that he was indeed going to try and get that nut.

[birdhouse]

"He retrieved his prize and then stood there to eat it instead of rushing back into his cage."

 

Wow, that surprised me!!! This is where Phenix & Gilbert are so different! There is nothing that would have enticed Phenix into that cage if he knew I wanted him to "manipulate" him into going there. Especially if he knew I was watching & he always does (speaking of scary). He would either have begged non stop for a while, or turned his tail on the whole thing. But I'll pretty much guarantee I would have gotten bitten for "something else entirely" not too long after. The fid holds a grudge when he wants to. lol

 

So you won that one big time. Good for you!! Good for Gilbert, too.

[katana600]

Yes, I was holding my breath watching him carefully climb down, then get the first nut. When he was on the floor, I was praying for nothing in the neighborhood to make a sound outdoors. He did it! His travel cage was not open, simply a stepping stone to get him off his cage on his own steam. His big cage is always open and he has only recently started exploring the playtop. In recent weeks, we have taken temporary pets to their own homes. Now I feel a lot safer about out of cage time and exploring. After Gilbert got startled and jumped off the little cage just a foot or so from the floor, and after he found he can get back into his cage that way, I saw him going up and down a few times. He has refused to eat the nut I left out for him after he got the first two pistachios. He has had no interest in trying it again today, and there is no way I would get close to him at this point. He made a huge step by leaving the safety zone of his cage and now he is touchy and edgy. He did barber off one small feather, but he is talking and happy so that is a win in my book. I have tried lots of things to entice him away from his cage millimeter, but millimeter. This was the longest time and farthest he has dared to go. He may need a recovery period before he goes down again but it has boosted his confidence in other ways. He has been saying things I have never heard before. Some is unclear, but he has really been chattering excitely telling someone about his bravery and scouting abilities.

[katana600]

Throughout the day, I have peeked in the cup and there are two pistachios. Gilbert has been staying inside his cage today for the most part. I have observed him a few times just coming to the edge of his open door and eyeballing his distant treat. Finally, he cautiously slid down the outside of the cage, reached, repositioned and reached some more until he retrieved his prize. He was not willing to stand on the travel cage, he painstakingly climbed to his highest perch to relax enough to eat his pistachio. Then, as I was writing, he went back for the second one. This time, he only went as far back up as the bottom of his door frame. He finished his second pistachio, then rummaged around on the bottom of his cage to toss out his almond shell from last night and both pistachio shells. He wasn't flinging them like he sometimes does when he gets in a snit, just quietly housekeeping. He almost looked like he was playing a carnival game trying to toss them into the empty cup.

[katana600]

Last night just before bed time, Gilbert the explorer was on the move. He came down to stand on the travel cage, checked the treat cup and bypassed the last pistachio to test the limits of his courage. He climbed so carefully and slowly down the side of the travel cage and contorted every which way. It seemed as if he was trying to figure out how to step onto the floor without being sucked into a black hole. He did get on the floor and looked around a little before climbing back up and into his cage. He is spending a lot more time on the bottom of his cage and climbing around on the lowest bars on the outside of the cage as well. On one side of the cage is his floor stand and he did climb over and stand on that a little while as well. He solicited a scratch from David as he slid around the floor stand to go to bed. After a bow and tuck for the scratch, he took a swipe at him but didn't bite. Then he postured for a scratch and let him have a little night night contact. He was much more jumpy than usual, it was more like, tuck, scratch, look, tuck. Today he is quieter than usual for most of the day although he did venture onto the floor and then startled himself and did a flapping, water-landing type skitter across the living room where he hid under a chair and chirped for me to rescue him and give him a lift back up high. For the most part, during the day we are home alone and he is protected from the dogs so he can climb up and down at his leisure. He is making some brave choices, but then seems to get back on his favorite perch to withdraw and think about things for a few hours. One thing I have noticed is that even when he is back in his cage, once he convinces himself he is okay, his activity level picks up. He has an invisible little hamster wheel in there where he climbs up the bars, across the ceiling, down the other side and across three perches. He will make the circuit about three times, then sit and talk low and undecipherable musings. He is not doing it enough that he appears disturbed, just like he is working things out a little and pacing in a comforting new ritual.

[katana600]

Gilbert expanded his horizons by getting the nerve more and more often during the day to get onto the travel cage. He has been getting more exercise by climbing up and down. At first it was only in the evening. For a couple of days now, he has come down in the mornings too. At first I was enticing him by putting a few pine nuts, pistachios or an almond in a familiar food cup. Then I noticed he would climb down and bypass a treat so he could look around. As his confidence is bolstered, his curiousity is getting the best of him. Yesterday he left a warm breakfast in favor of adventure. This morning, as I am watching, he has climbed down onto the floor and is cautiously making his way around on the floor. When David and the dogs came into the room, I was sure he would hightail it back up high. Instead, they walked right past him and he never flinched. They took up a spot on the sofa to watch Gilbert making history. Gilbert has been off his cage on his own steam, willingly, for the first time since he arrived in our home. He has gone up one of the stairs, then briefly into the center of the living room floor. He is unusually calm, no signs of anxiety. He has gone back several times to climb up on the travel cage, poised to return to his comfort zone, then changed and climbed down again. There are no treats in his cup, he is genuinely moving about with only curiosity to propel him one little grey step at a time. I would wager that I am far more excited than he is right now. It is the beginning of hope that he is feeling like he is at home. What a great feeling.

[Timbersmom]

What a great feeling indeed! In the short time I've been on the forum, Gilbert has made a lot of progress. They never cease to surprise us

[katana600]

These are the kinds of surprises I can embrace. Today Gilbert spent the day quietly sitting in his usual little sentinel pose. I have noticed he has to pull back and regroup after some changes or milestone moments. Yesterday he came out of his cage and offered Rachel a step up, then came to sit with us on the sofa. He was eager to step up to me from her and was unusually calm, no trembling or looking back toward his cage. I did notice he has made a bald spot on his chest the size of my thumbprint. I don't think he has been picking, rather that he has been more amenable to asking for a head rub and that is where he holds on to himself when he is accepting human touch from any of us. After quietly keeping to himself most of the day, he is now climbing all over inside his cage again. He has a rope boing stretched horizonally through the bottom third of his cage. I can not say I have ever seen him climb on it until this evening. I am nearly in tears after seeing him climb on it and then twirl and hang upside down. This is as close as he has come to energetic "play". It feels as if we are having an "awakening". He is not making a sound in there, just climbing everywhere, touching his toys and giving me a glimpse of what a normal, active Timneh might look like. He got himself so winded he actually went over and gulped some fresh water. He is making progress and I feel as if I am watching our history being written.

[Wingy]

Don't panic, like I did, if you see him heave up some of that gulped water. Jake was playing hard like Gilbert and drank to much or to fast or something and it came back up. Jake had water streaming out of his beak and I had the vet on speed dial.

[katana600]

Oh goodness, that would be really scary. I am just enthralled to see Gilbert on the move. This morning he came out of his cage, perched on top of his door and permitted me to rub his head. He was really jumpy and alternately tender. He doesn't give me any warning from being warm and relaxed to spinning around for a nervous bite. This is the first time in a long long time he has permitted me to touch him without the bars between us. I am seeing some big changes coming for this little guy. He tries and tries to be close but it must scare him senseless. The best thing I have done for him is to spend hours and hours near him doing nothing and giving him the chance to overcome his own fears. I just love seeing that he is exploring and looking around and seeing that this is not such a terrible place after all. Bless his little heart and his pointed little beak.

[Timbersmom]

Woohoo! I was so happy to read this! Gilbert is making some amazing headway there

[katana600]

Our little guy is such a complex little bundle of nerves. Along with his newfound energy and courage, I discovered he has plucked a bald spot on his chest and he has never done that before. I have not seen him picking and at first I thought it was because he asks for a scratch and holds tight to those little fluffy feathers while he is in his preferred position. He has been especially lovey lately, so I thought maybe that was why he was "worrying" off his feathers. However, when I got close to him this morning, I noticed he is expanding his bald spot to the opposite side, so I will be rethinking what is going on in his little head. The Rescue Remedy drops and the new attached "apartment" are the only changes in the past two months for him. I am going to first move the apartment, even though it may give him a little more area to explore and he seems more active, it may be too much for his nerves so I will let him back down and see if it changes his plucking habits. Unfortunately this is coinciding with Rachel's imminent departure and that is going to add to the complexity of his emotions. It is so hard to know when to stop and when to proceed with him, but plucking to a bald spot is new and definitely worth backing up a few steps even if he is being more friendly.

[Timbersmom]

It is so difficult to know what is going on with them. It reminds me of the kids when they were 1-2 years old. I could tell something was wrong (like an illness) but when they can't verbalize the problem it is so frustrating.

[Acappella]

I think it's smart to back off a little. Let his nerves catch up to his curiosity and desire to expand his world. You're such a great parront, watching him for clues and putting what's he's comfortable with ahead of what you want for him. If you get frustrated just remind yourself that pace-wise you're still ahead of where I was with Dorian at this point. It was more than two years before he ventured off his cage to investigate a hanging toy, and almost four before he let me carry him on my hand to another room. The biggest difference between Dorian and Gilbert is that Dorian has never plucked (knock wood). Given his extremely nervous disposition, that's a small miracle. I hope this little plucking set back is short lived. Have you considered setting up Skype calls with Rachel so that Gilbert can see and hear her. You can watch closely to see whether it's helping or hurting. Love to you and your whole flock, feathered and not. <3

[katana600]

It is like a "sense" that something is off without hard cut evidence. I used to take my kids to the doctor, he would smile and tell me I am young and nervous, all is well. It seemed to always happen on a Friday. I would take them in Monday and by then the "something is off" turned into a raging ear infection. He started joking that I might be psychic, but looked a lot closer when things seemed off. Thanks for the insights to Gilbert and the skype thing. I have shown him Kelsey on Skype but he was never enamored with her, just okay with her so he didn't seem interested. It will be a good thing to try with Rachel. I am not going to make any big changes to his environment until she is gone for a couple of weeks so we can see one change and effect at a time. On what may be related... or not, last night he went down to his attached travel cage "apartment" but bypassed his treats and climbed back to his cage complaining and grumbling. I took the dogs out and came back in to find the biggest spider I have ever seen in my house. I trapped it under a clear plastic shoe box and tried to find a picture online because I suspected it to be a brown recluse. It looked like the photos but was bigger than the descriptions but I didn't want to take any chances that it might be venomous. I was going to just keep it captured until my husband came home. He is the official spider, bug or rodent man about the house. I do think that this spider had been under Gilbert's cage, so possibly that would explain his nervous spell. Time will tell. I did join a feather loss study group and have been tagging and bagging feathers and keeping a journal, so it might be helpful to look at the whole picture month by month rather than trying to focus in on every day changes. Gilbert has been asking me for head rubs every morning and every bed time and he has not had any trembling or nervousness during our prolonged sessions. He closed his eyes and got so comfy this morning, he kept falling asleep and sliding forward as his grip on the bars relaxed. I put my finger below his foot to help keep him balanced and he wrapped his claw around my finger like a baby. He has this "thing" he does where he stops, pulls back and looks at me and makes the sound of a human baby cry. Sara said he did that with her as well. She had a newborn just a few months after she got Gilbert and the baby was 2 1/2 when I adopted Gilbert. It is an endearing little ritual. I have to admit when he was holding my finger inside the bars of this cage, I was a little apprehensive because I knew I couldn't get my knuckle back out through the bars if he suddenly did his cobra strike. I just had to over ride my brain saying it was not a good idea and let my heart enjoy the moment with Gilbert and it worked out just fine. I really couldn't love him any more if he were more cuddly, more talkative and more of anything. I love him so much just the way he is that any progress we make is a bonus. This forum is the closest we are going to come to having an "owner's manual" or quick start manual. All of you who have walked before me and beside me are helping Gilbert's journey to be just a bit smoother.