Relationships

[Ray P]

As I read through posts from new parrot owner members and hear how they research greys or any other type of parrots that they plan to have I noticed that from the start they are looking into training programs, training vidios, clicker training and it seams that they are bypassing the foundation of being parrot parent. (Please don`t misunderstand me as I think training is important) I have 4 parrots a CAG a BFA and 2 cockatiels and I know some people don`t beleave a cockatiel is a parrot But the only thing I have trained my birds to do is step up. They also understand the word no not that it makes any differance.

 

A relationship is a understanding between two life forms that can make them one in the presents of the other and there are a number of members on this forum that have that kind of relationship with their fids.

 

Just the other day Elvenking had a post (Nice weekend with Issac) that was about just hanging out with each other with no one around taking the time to savor the moment and each other nothing special going on but it will be a weekend to be rememberd. That is a relationship.

 

Anouther member luvparrots has three parrots each a differant species and each a differant personality

Ana Grey (TAG) Sully (EKKIE) Louie (BFA) and now a forth demension Isabella (CAG). A place for all of them.

 

And there are many more that have birds that are not trained to impress thier friends they can do it on their own

 

It`s the relationships that this borad has built with their birds and with each other that makes this a great place to be not so much the training.

 

Relationship first than training.

[judygram]

Hear, hear, I can relate to that and agree wholeheartedly.

[Eshana]

I am just getting into parrots (I have a cockatiel) and I must say that I completely agree that 'tiels are parrots! :rolleyes: Shelby has a big parrot personality packed into his tiny tiel body!

 

I've watched videos of all types of parrots (grey's included) doing tricks on youtube, and many seem tense, like they really don't want to do what they're doing. Granted, I've also seen parrots doing tricks that are very into it, and have a lot of fun doing it.

[bigbird519]

i at first fell under this whole training thing. after the year has come and gone with mojo, i have given up. granted i do practice step ups between him and others that come to the house, i no longer "train" however. now i just chill out with him and enjoy him for who he is. so i will have to agree with this forum.

[munch]

While I, too, didn't choose a grey or a parrot for training- I do admit that she was chosen because greys are supposed to be talkers. After joining here and reading that not all greys end up talking, shamefully i admit was a bit disappointed that perhaps Took is not going to be the talker we wanted. But we love her so much who cares! My dog doesn't talk and we don't hold it against him! Took is simply a fun, loving family member. She doesn't have to do tricks, her own personal quirks are entertaining enough (like talking herself to sleep every night in the loudest voice ever, attacking her bell, watching her look out the window, etc).

[Elvenking]

Yeah, I got a training DVD and I never really made as much of an effort to get him to do specific things as much as I have made sure to take care of his needs and see that he has a good time living in my house as a bird. I found that the best tricks come when they just know that it is the right thing to be around you. Plus, I just need someone to talk to and he is a perfect listener. Thanks for the recognition.

[MarcusCAG]

Wow. I never really thought of teaching Marcus or Beaker "tricks" per se. Do people get dogs just to teach them tricks? No! I did work a lot with our Dahlia in the beginning, to teach her to sit and stay, and heel, etc. But that is more training and teaching her what her place is in our family arrangement, that she can't stand up with her paws on the counter to steal food and think we'll find that acceptable. (Not that she hasn't tried, haha!)

 

And with Marcus and Beaker, I think that after the death of my beloved 13-year-old chinchilla, I realized that I wanted to start where my parents left off: they had a Blue-Front Amazon (wild caught) who died a few years ago at the age of 27. He was an integral fixture in my family while I grew up, but my dad had kind of lost interest in him by the time my brother was born, and my mom was terrified of working with him beyond keeping his cage clean. As a teenager I would sometimes take him outside to give him showers on the back porch, and I would sing to him occasionally, but I'm afraid to say that was about all the 'attention' he really got, I really knew nothing about parrots back then. So when I realized I wanted to adopt, not another chinchilla, but a parrot--it was like there was all that background for me. And then when I read and researched and read some more... and I discovered Alex, and was blown away by his communicative abilities and his cognitive achievements, and it clicked that a Grey's personality would be more suited to mine, really... it just went from there.

 

Sure, it would be cute, I guess, if Beaker ever learned to roll over or something. But I'm just as happy to have him be the cute little Quaker he already is. And my Marcus--what can I say about him? He's my doll, my little boy, so stunningly intelligent and empathic and lovely. It frightens me to think of my life without him now. Trick-training is immaterial... I think my husband is actually annoyed by the concept of a clicker. *Shrug*

[Butttaxi]

I was wondering what everyone here thought about trick training and I am glad I am not the only one who is ok with their bird as they are. I really didn't want to pay like $200+ for videos and clickers to have a novelty pet I can entertain my friends with. Rorschach has learned things on his own without me sitting with him trying to train him, like he will wave his foot for me, he did it today as I walked by his cage it was way too cute. I think if you spend time with your fids, play with them and love them they will do their own little tricks which will make you love them even more and their own personalities will shine

[Shelly Yokum]

I think the tricks are cute, but do you have your bird as a member of the family or an entertainer? I think some have went over board. However, I do think it is good for them to learn somethings, and maybe one or two trained tricks is good for their mind. I have Prince and Roy, and the only trick they know is how to make the biggest mess possible, and they are my world. Just one of my kids.

I have tried to get Prince to pick up his toys and put them in the bucket, and he will do one, maybe two on a good day, and then goes and gets into trouble.

[Talon]

What a great thread. Truer words were never spoken.

[katana600]

@ MarcusCAG, no wonder your husband is annoyed by the concept of a clicker... he can't be trained either. LOL. Just kidding of course, I don't even know your husband.

[katana600]

It makes me know it is right to get another grey when the time is right just because of all the tender moments, happy whoops and shared moments. It makes me feel almost "normal" to know all of you are out there feeling the same way about your birds. Relationships are all about making our lives better by our connection with them than either of us would be alone.

[Luvparrots]

Ray, this is a great thread. You are so intuitive and I am so enjoying this thread. Ana Grey does some "tricks". It just happened, more or less. I offer my hand and say "shake" Ana Grey will raise her foot and clutch my finger so I can shake it. If I touch my chest and say "come here" she flies to me. (I use to give her nuts for coming to me. I no longer do that unless she asks for one.) She gives me kisses on my cheek all on her own now. Our greys are so wonderful, all we have to love them and they respond unconditionally!!!

[HeatherStrella]

I was just sitting with AnnaBella thinking how I wish I knew how to train her. Not because I want to show her off...in fact, I hate having people over to visit...but I want to learn how to train her for her mental stimulation. She rips up paper/toys, climbs around on her cage/swing/stand...she plays catch with me with wiffle balls....she talks a lot...but that's about it. My most favorite thing to do is sit with her on my knee...or she sits on my stomach...leg...whatever. We chat...sing...I give her scritches...but she seems bored. I agree that the human/parrot relationship is very important but so is challenging ourselves and our birds. Recently I've been sitting at the computer with her while I play birds singing (regular bird sounds) on youtube...she likes to hear them sing and whistle. I would love to teach her all the colors...how to open a puzzle box...whatever...but she really wants nothing to do with that stuff. I'm always looking for things to stimulate her senses...it's really hard to find stuff she likes. She seems to always go back to ripping paper as her favorite (independent) pastime. She enjoys sitting with me...which I try to do a couple hours a day...if she could, she'd sit on my knee all day with some breaks for eating. Thanks for starting this thread...I agree that their relationships with us are the most important component to their happiness.

[Ray P]

When I started this thread it was because of my zon Cricket and how we (Cricket and I) built our relationship and was not ment to put training aside.

When the relationship is strong training is not training it`s doing something together and having fun doing it and that`s why I say relationship first and than training is something you and your bird both can enjoy.

Having a bird should be fun for the both of you. Thanks. the members of this forum have made my day.

[danmcq]

When I started this thread it was because of my zon Cricket and how we (Cricket and I) built our relationship and was not ment to put training aside.

When the relationship is strong training is not training it`s doing something together and having fun doing it and that`s why I say relationship first and than training is something you and your bird both can enjoy.

Having a bird should be fun for the both of you. Thanks. the members of this forum have made my day.

 

I agree wholeheartedly Ray, relationship is #1, everything else can evolve in it's own time and place.

 

I prefer to have Dayo select what it is he wishes to learn or do by him putting forth the effort and instigating whatever it is that he seems to want to help with on his own, rather than training specifically because I want him to learn some "Cool" trick.

 

An example of this, was his first interest in how the kitchen water lever turned the water on and off. I taught him to turn it off for me and he scrambles to get over to the faucet every time I run the water so he can climb up, stand on the lever and his weight pushes it down/off, which I praise him for "Helping Daddy". This has also lead to discovering he "Wants" to evidently feel like he is helping the flock in many manners. He starting expressing interest when I would empty the eating utensil holder that I do by sitting it on the counter and then placing the spoons, forks, knives etc. in the drawer in their respective holding slots. Soon he was lifting the utensils out and throwing them in the drawer for me as best his aim could be. I thank him for "Helping Daddy" and evidently he feels a great sense of self worth in helping the flock once again. There are other things he helps with in his own way as well and I am constantly on the look out for things that it appears he would like to help with. He does like to ride on one of our shoulders every time we Vacuum for example and proclaims from room to room "Lets Vacuum, floor dirty".

 

Anyway, I thought I would offer a possible way people could look for their birds to feel like they are contributing to the flock which is hardwired into their magnificent brains to do.

Edited March 17, 2011 by danmcq

[MarcusCAG]

@ MarcusCAG, no wonder your husband is annoyed by the concept of a clicker... he can't be trained either. LOL. Just kidding of course, I don't even know your husband.

 

Haha. Well, I think in terms of the birds, he just doesn't like the idea of something that seems to him to be... um, dominant? That's the best word I can think of, although the nuances of that word for this situation are not entirely appropriate.

 

I like what a lot of people have posted about their Greys and tricks. I'm not against Marcus (or our little Beaker) learning a trick, I just don't see myself going out of my way to try and teach either of them something like that right now. I'm more concerned with just letting them grow as themselves, and teaching them things that will help them understand their home environment a little better. I like Dan's comments regarding Dayo helping him clean the house although I do not see Marcus doing such at this point (he usually bathes when the vacuum is on). I did order some magnetic alphabet letters and an easel this past week, though, because I thought why not teach them both the letters? The ABC Song is not their favorite, but they see me reading in front of them all the time, and I thought maybe a comment beyond "Mommy is reading a book" or "I'm reading silently" might help them appreciate what I'm doing a little more. Who knows if Marcus, at least, may pick up something if I teach him what the letters look like? I wouldn't consider that a trick though, just time spent together and hopefully he understanding the world around him a little more. And he has surprised me greatly with his comprehension so far, with things I wouldn't expect him to... so maybe. That would be neat. At least I'd like to show them what their names 'look like'.

[Elvenking]

I agree wholeheartedly Ray, relationship is #1, everything else can evolve in it's own time and place.

 

I prefer to have Dayo select what it is he wishes to learn or do by him putting forth the effort and instigating whatever it is that he seems to want to help with on his own, rather than training specifically because I want him to learn some "Cool" trick.

 

An example of this, was his first interest in how the kitchen water lever turned the water on and off. I taught him to turn it off for me and he scrambles to get over to the faucet every time I run the water so he can climb up, stand on the lever and his weight pushes it down/off, which I praise him for "Helping Daddy". This has also lead to discovering he "Wants" to evidently feel like he is helping the flock in many manners. He starting expressing interest when I would empty the eating utensil holder that I do by sitting it on the counter and then placing the spoons, forks, knives etc. in the drawer in their respective holding slots. Soon he was lifting the utensils out and throwing them in the drawer for me as best his aim could be. I thank him for "Helping Daddy" and evidently he feels a great sense of self worth in helping the flock once again. There are other things he helps with in his own way as well and I am constantly on the look out for things that it appears he would like to help with. He does like to ride on one of our shoulders every time we Vacuum for example and proclaims from room to room "Lets Vacuum, floor dirty".

 

Anyway, I thought I would offer a possible way people could look for their birds to feel like they are contributing to the flock which is hardwired into their magnificent brains to do.

 

Everytime you post. I am like...yes...yes...YES! It's like you think...and yer bird is....whoa. You know what I mean. I love time in the kitchen with Issac. Except he turns the lights on and off...and i praise him for it. And he emptys my utensil drawer...and I love it...and just say "Uh oh" when something hits the floor. I love it all the way. Thanks for posting.

[bigbird519]

as i was reading throught the rest of this thread i was thinking "training is a Greyt opportunity to hang out with our babies and build that relationship that we are all speaking of." then, as i read further i noticed you all saying what i was thinking...... So long as people go into a grey for what magnificent creatures and relationships they are and offer, and not get one for the wrong reasons.... i.e. "get one because they speak and will do tricks", then i believe that the person and the grey alike will both be satisfied.

 

hows this for a trick..... Mojo beeps like a microwave and I fetch him dinner..... i believe soon enough when i bring him his veggies he is going to look at me and say "good boy!" at which point he may offer me a cookie and even a kiss, lol

[Shelly Yokum]

Bigbird, that was just way to funny. This has been one of the best threads I have read, I do have a question, My Prince doesn't think he is a bird. He sits at the dinner table for at least 2 meals of the day. After his breakfast he goes upstairs to the bathroom, and waits for his shower. He climbs into my bed from time to time and says nite nite. Should I tell him that he is a birdie or just let him think he is human?

[Ray P]

That sounds like my birds. They think they are human. Breakfest vacation trips to relitives house

[Greymatter]

I'd take my relationship with our birds over fancy tricks.

 

Merlin does go on his back like a baby for Husband, and "High Four" which he was taught by someone else while I worked with parrots & brought Merlin along to work with me. The laying on his back thing is more of a trust and comfy thing for Merlin...and hey, he gets off his feet .

 

I'm just happy he's Merlin, tricks or no tricks. His personality and our time together surpasses everything else.

[Butttaxi]

I love the little tricks they do learn on their own. Like I previously said, Rorschach will wave and he done this one day when sitting on the couch with me. He also does the bat, again something he started doing on his own when I tried to put him to bed for the night. Rather then stepping up he collapsed it was the cutest and funniest thing ever. He doesn't go on his back very often, he isn't completely comfortable with laying on his back yet but we are working on it because he LOVES to snuggle. As long as he is holding on to my fingers he will allow me to support his back with my hand. Since we just got him in August I don't want to push him but I am glad at how quickly comfortable he is with me. He is just starting now to allow David scratch his head, something that I was able to do with no effort is taking longer for David. It just proved that it can take a really long time for our babes to warm up to someone... I do know how lucky I am to have the friendship I do have with him.

 

I was worried that I would be a horrible owner and eventually lose interest or something (you know what I mean) but makes me laugh everyday and it is hard to not go to him and chat with him or scratch him. I have read the stories about parrots/birds being moved away from the family into a room on their own with no interaction, after having Rorschach for the past few months I just can't understand what kind of person could do that. How can someone not be drawn to their awesomeness? I guess there are other factors like health problems or just having a super busy schedule but I'm sure all of you have busy days and you all seem to still find time to interact, play and love your little feathered friends... so what gives? I guess it takes a special kind of person to share their lives fully with these beautiful creatures!! You all rock!

[Ray P]

When you take the time to know them they can get under your skin forever

[rbpittman]

Ray this is a wonderful thread and thank you for bringing the relationship we have with our fids to the forefront.

 

Each bird and person in the whole world is blessed with a special ability/trick. What that ability is depends upon the amount of time you spend with them, getting to know them, and building the key part to being a parront - a relationship. We don't know the special talents our spouses have without building those relationships. We don't recognize the abilities of others without getting to know them and building a relationship. Without that special word "relationship" we are all acquaintances. Each of us has been able to identify a unique ability in our fids, whether it is a trick they can do or just being there, sitting on our knee or chest listening to us, without having built that relationship we wouldn't recognize these abilities.

 

Here's my list of "tricks"......although I don't recognize them as tricks as much as I recognize them as something that has developed between us, something that is special to our relationship.

 

Dixie - leans in to kiss me. While she has chosen my husband as her favored person, I'm the only one she truly kisses.

Beau - he listens to me. Evident by not continuing to chew on the blinds when told to stop.

Morgan - asks me what I'm doing. It doesn't matter if I'm sweeping the floor or reading, he always asks.

Yoshi - loves to throw the ball - literally to me, and I toss it back to her. Many would say it's a game. I consider it time together doing something she enjoys doing.

Sterling - puts his head on my shoulder every time I sing "put your head on my shoulder" and looks up at me with love in his eyes. My son loves to cradle Sterling in his arms and sing rock-a-bye baby. Sterling just lays his head back and eats it up.

 

Without having taken the time to build a relationship with my babies, I wouldn't know any of these things about them. They aren't performing special "tricks" like playing basketball, they are doing much more, they are taking part of my life and I'm in theirs.

 

Thanks again Ray, you've made us all realize something much more important and more valuable than anything that could be gained from a video on training our parrots.

 

Robin