Potentially re-homing

[krikkit]

I always say I'm going to lurk and then I dive right in. Hi. I'm Kim.

 

I have wanted a Grey for over half of my lifetime and a co-worker just told me he has to get rid of his seven-year old named Russell. So now I'm devouring everything I can to make a truly informed and responsible decision that will be best for the bird and my family.

 

I am so grateful for everything I've read here. I have already reversed my assumptions about clipping a bird's wings and was reassured that owning two cats isn't an automatic no-no. My question is this: I feel like meeting Russell is going to be like a blind date. I want to love him and I want him to love me. But I will be in his room and his home and he.... well, he doesn't necessarily get a lot of attention there. How to I best present myself to him? Should I bring treats? Just sit quietly and ignore him? And what behavior can I expect from him that may improve once he's with us. In other words, how do I know if he's just neglected or really not a good match?

 

And should I go visit for a few weeks regularly so it's not such a shock when he comes to my home? Or is it better to make the transition swiftly and then give him time to trust us in his new environment?

 

All hypothetical, of course. My husband is still a bit on the fence. (His threat used to be that he'd have a vasectomy if I came home with another pet, but now that I have a child, he has no bargaining chip. Ha!)

 

Whatever happens, thank you for the joy your stories are giving me vicariously.

[Talon]

Hi Kim and welcome to our family. I adopted both my greys sight unseen. Never a first meeting. Trust me, you WILL be able to bond over time with any bird. Certainly going to visit would be great for him to get to know you and your presence. After seeing him from a safe distance for his sake, I would lovingly, quietly go up to him with a treat, a calming, soothing voice, and especially, don't be too forward ormpushy to touch him or pick him up. Let that be his choice, if he wants to step up on you, great, but do so cautiously and slowly so as not to startle him. Hope that helps. Can't wait to hear more. Keep us posted on your decision, but please make sure it will all work out with your hubby and chid. This bird needs his forever home, not too be passed on if it doesn't work for you.

[Barbara2]

I'm thinking you might need to work on your husband before you work on Russell. There have been others that have been given a "the bird goes or I go" ultimatum due to a partner who develops a dislike for the pet bird. Make sure he is completely in agreement before you decide to bring Russell home. My two cents.

[Butttaxi]

Hi-ya Kim,

 

My CAG Rorschach was re-homed 3 times in his short life, but I think him still being so young the transition wasn't so horrifying for him and judging by his personality I think he had some great handlers prior to coming home to us so I feel super lucky we have the honor that he accepted us.

 

The girl we got Rorschach from brought him to our house for a visits before deciding that she would sell to us. I would think if you have the option, go over and visit him and let him get to know you. It ma make the transition a bit easier. If he isn't getting the attention where he is now then he may be exited to see you when you come to hang out. Peace offerings like a treat would probably be a great idea.

 

We choose not to clip, we disagree with taking his natural instinct to fly away and since we have encouraged him to fly more his confidence has been so much greater. Also we have 2 cats and I watch like a hawk when he is not on his perch because he likes to mosey on over to one of the cats and tries to take a bite. I don't want him or the cats hurt so I try to keep the separated. Luckily my cats are afraid of him and will just look at him from a distance.

 

Good luck and I hope Russell brings as much joy to your home as our little guy does for us.

[krikkit]

That's exactly what I was wondering. The advice on other threads about not reacting to their biting is also helpful. And thanks for the reassurance that, with love and patience, there can be a trusting connection.

 

I appreciate the words of caution as well. I am researching my tuchus off because I understand what kind of commitment this is and I truly would not do that to a bird any more than I would adopt a child and then give him or her back. I haven't owned a bird, but I train dogs and worked as veterinary technician years ago. Animals are a huge love of mine and I absolutely won't take something like this on as a whim or "lark", I promise. And even if it's right for me, if it's not right for everyone in the family that won't be in the bird's best interests. Fortunately my pet food store also boards birds, so my daughter has been learning parrot manners since she was born because she adores visiting with them whenever we go. There is even a flock of wild parrots in our neighborhood and she freezes whenever she even hears them, as, I suppose, do I. Daddy's the holdout because he's worried about the extra effort which is a very valid concern. We shall see. In the mean time, I'll keep reading and preemptively asking questions.

 

Thanks!

[judygram]

Hello Kim and welcome to our family, I am so glad to hear you want to join the ranks of grey ownership and you are doing the right thing to research and ask questions to make sure this is the right thing for Russell and your family.

I too would visit the bird and see how things go, just take it slow and easy so as not to force yourself on him, if he is starved for attention then he should welcome your presence. Take him a treat and offer it to him and talk softly telling him what a pretty bird he is and see what his reaction is, don't worry if he retreats to the back of the cage for it means it may just take longer to bring him around to liking you. The other members before me gave you some excellent advice also.

I do have to agree with Barbara about your husband, he needs to at least accept the bird as a member of the family for like she said many birds have ended up in an its either the bird or me situation and no one wants that. I have to ask why does the co worker need to get rid of Russell, I hope its not for the same reason?

I look forward to hearing what you decide to do and I hope it works out in your favor.

[chezron]

Birds ARE a huge commitment! Because they are so intelligent, they require more attention than a cat or a dog. They are also potentially destructive. You and your husband need to know that going in because if your house is a shrine to cleanliness and aesthetic beauty, that will change once you get a free-flying parrot. That being said, I believe the trade off is totally worth it.

[krikkit]

Thank you for so much support! From what I understand, Russell is one of a fairly impressive menagerie of five cats, two dogs and one other bird. My friend's wife works rehabilitating dogs, so that is her primary focus and my friend works out of town quite often. Russell was mostly the companion of their oldest daughter, but she just left for college. Russell mourned and became a bit of a pill and, unfortunately, they are stretched pretty darn thin. It's not like he's going to go to a shelter or anything, they just know he's not getting the attention he needs and he's shut in his own room for most of the day. We are all taking it slow to see how the idea fits everyone.

 

I am going to laugh forever at the idea of my house being "a shrine to cleanliness and aesthetic beauty." (Nice turn of phrase, by the way.) We are clean, health conscious and still child-proofed for our daughter, but I believe a living space is to be lived in. A floor is to be danced on and occasionally windows will be painted with pudding. Mess doesn't kill, although I'm studying the list of cleansers that might. The addition of feathers, thrown fruit and bird poop are nothing compared to potty training a kid who refuses to wear her diapers.

 

I'll keep you posted. I'm out of town for another three weeks so nothing can happen for a while anyway. It will give me time to really take everything in besides the excitement of the idea.

[Sherrie]

Welcome Krikitt! I applaud your efforts in educating yourself prior to getting any bird!!! Just always remember these guys are highly intelligent and TRUST is something that MUST be EARNED!!! It is not given automatically...it can be a very slow process..do not ever expect Russell to readily accept you.If he does, what a blessing and you're off to a great relationship.... I think you will do great, you've already taken the 1st steps by educating yourself-- A treat would be a great "ice breaker" for Russell. IMO it would be great if you could spend some time and interact with Russell before bringing him home.. I think it would be less stressful on everyone involved and would be calming for him to at least know someone familiar in the new home... Learn all you can about Russell and his daily routines-- They NEED attention and Love and they thrive in an atmosphere that reflects love and happiness-- If hubby has any hesitations about getting Russell, then that can lead to resentment which inevitably(sp) Russell will pick up on.. You don't want to be the only one to interact with Russell. Hubby will have to pitch in with daily chores, feeding,cleaning etc...... PS>>NO TEFLON COOKWARE !!!!!! teflon, when overheated is really dangerous for birdies! Have a safe trip and well see ya when ya get back!!!!Hugs Sherrie and Greyson

[krikkit]

BRILLIANT reminder on the Teflon. I've read more about it and it is a much larger danger than I thought. It's not just if it goes over 400, it's using it at all. I will have to see if our air system shares with any other apartments. Also, out would go the George Foreman Grill!

 

These are things that, when I'm getting them bit by bit, seem easy and acceptable changes to make. If I got all of it in one fell swoop, I think I'd be overwhelmed. I need to remember that when talking to my husband. He is a dream, honestly, and won't say yes when he secretly means no. If we decide on this, I have no doubt he will graciously and fully jump in with me.