One for the girls (guys no looking)

[lovemyGreys]

{Feel-good-0002006E} i needed thst Toni thank you :kiss:

[judygram]

I like that one Toni, thanks for sharing that with us.:laugh:

[siobha9]

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

DAMNITOL

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

 

EMPTYNESTROGEN

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!

 

ST. MOMMA'S WORT

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

 

PEPTOBIMBO

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

 

DUMBEROL

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

 

FLIPITOR

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. ￦

 

MENICILLIN

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person. '

 

BUYAGRA

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

 

 

JACKASSPIRIN

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat

 

ANTI-TALKSIDENT

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

 

NAGAMENT

When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

[lovemyGreys]

:laugh: you go girl,

[Toni]

Wow !! I love it !! If I go to a girly party I can put some candies in abottle and label as such. My chickys will get a great laugh. :laugh:

[judygram]

Oh boy Siobhan, what a good list of drugs for women, where can I get these, I need them all

 

 

{Feel-good-0002006E}

[Matt]

...{Feel-good-0002006E}...

 

Thats Hilarious

[judygram]

Matt, what are you doing in the girl's thread, can't you read, its for girls only, guys no looking :ohmy: :lol: :huh: :whistle:

thats ok Matt if you think its funny, we like to give the guys a hard time, all in good fun:laugh: :laugh:

[Matt]

LOL, I dont know how i ended up in this thread but I sat there for about 30 minutes reading everyting and emailing it to my friends LOL

[judygram]

So you thought it was funny huh, yeah we like to have a little fun here while we find out about each other's greys and help each other with our problems, a little laughter brightens the day.:laugh:

[siobha9]

What's the difference between a man and a parrot?

 

You can teach a parrot to talk nicely.

[Kaskoo]

lool!:silly: at the whole thread!:woohoo:

[danmcq]

Oh no Kaskoo, you resurrected this old thread. Now the fun begins again. :evil: :woohoo:

[Kaskoo]

woooohooooooo!!!!!!!!:woohoo: :woohoo: {Feel-good-00020069}

[siobha9]

Ok ladies! The game is on again!

 

Let me start;)

 

 

CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF MAN

Element: Man

 

Symbol: Ma

 

Quantitative: Accepted at 7 inches though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches.

 

Discoverer: Eve (discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs)

 

Occurrence: Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen.

 

Physical properties:

 

a) Surface often covered with hair bristly in some areas, soft in others.

 

b) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense, melts if treated like a God.

 

c) Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).

 

d) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.

 

e) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo (Snore... zzzzz).

 

f) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature.

 

g) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick.

 

h) Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.

 

i) Ore damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with polluted form of the Wo common ore.

 

j) When pressure is applied, becomes stiff and unyielding; yields only when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied.

 

Chemical properties:

 

a) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.

 

b) May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favorable conditions.

 

c) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to Wo.

 

d) Usually willing to react with whatever is available.

 

e) Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existent to pre-interaction effects which tend to turn the specimen bright red.

 

f) Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.

 

g) When saturated with alcohols, will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements.

 

h) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.

 

i) Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the malodorous variety.

 

j) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.

 

Storage:

 

a) Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable reaction style.

 

b) Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...

 

c) Can be used in recreational activities.

 

Tests:

 

a) Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.

 

Caution:

 

a) Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very malleable under correct conditions.<br><br>Post edited by: siobha9, at: 2008/08/24 22:37

[lovemyGreys]

{Feel-good-0002006E}{Feel-good-000200BB}Great analysis Siobhan :laugh:

[Kaskoo]

loooooool! :laugh: :laugh: im glad i got this going again!! :silly:

[danmcq]

"melts if treated like a God."

 

The only truth in the entire post. We only respond in a positive manner when given the respect we know we must demand and deserve. :evil: B)

[Talon]

OMG DAN!!!! {Emotions-0002011C}

[judygram]

My sentiments exactly:whistle:

[BMustee]

Here is an update to all men who say "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."

 

Women now realize that it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

 

{Emotions-00020060}

[siobha9]

{Feel-good-0002006E} Good one!!!

[siobha9]

This one has to be the funniest email I have EVER received! I can definitely relate to this one

 

I am on year 19 so now its "Have you paid the life insurance policy up to date?" :laugh: :laugh:

 

SEVEN AGES OF THE MARRIED COLD

 

1st year--The husband says, "Oh, sweetie pie, I'm really worried about those nasty sniffles you have! There's no telling what that could turn into with all the strep that's been going around. I'm going to take you right down to the hospital and have you admitted for a couple days of rest. I know the food is lousy there, so I'm going to bring you some takeout from Tosini's. I've already arranged it with the head nurse."

 

2nd year--"Listen, honey, I don't like the sound of that cough. I called the doc and he's going to stop by here and take a look at you. Why don't you just go on to bed and get the rest you need?"

 

3rd year--"Maybe you better go lie down, darling. When you feel lousy you need the rest. I'll bring you something--do we have any canned soup around here?"

 

4th year--"No sense wearing yourself out when you're under the weather. When you finish those dishes and the kids' baths and get them to bed, you ought to go to bed yourself!" (my personal favorite)

 

5th year--"Why don't you take a couple aspirin?"

 

6th year--"You oughta go gargle or something, instead of sitting around barking like a dog!"

 

7th year--"For Pete's sake, stop sneezing. Are you trying to give me pneumonia? You'd better pick up some tissues while you're at the store."

[BaxtersMom]

Aint that the truth! I love that one

[lovemyGreys]

{Feel-good-0002006E} Two great posts Siobhan & Berna {Feel-good-000200BB}