One for the girls (guys no looking)

[spookyhurst]

Okay, here's one for both the women and men:

 

Computer Gender:

 

As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!").

 

Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

 

Five reasons to believe computers are female:

 

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

 

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

 

3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

 

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

 

5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

 

However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasons follow:

 

Five reasons to believe computers are male:

 

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

 

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

 

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

 

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

 

5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

[Tari]

:laugh:

[lovemyGreys]

love the computer one, it makes me smile every time i see it :laugh:

[Talon]

Great ones!! :laugh: :laugh:

[Dave007]

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to You.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

REALLY!! So that's what you're looking for!!

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v50/DaveVP/1-womenwaitingforperfectman-1.jpg

 

Post edited by: MrSpock, at: 2007/08/27 00:12<br><br>Post edited by: MrSpock, at: 2007/08/27 00:20

[lovemyGreys]

:laugh: Great MrSpock.

[judygram]

I loved that Mr Spock, its nice to see you have a sense of humor, but we caught another man in our thread, girls.

[Talon]

Hey, we've been hijacked by a man here. What are you girls going to do about it? :ohmy:

 

And I recognize each one of us in those chairs.....:ohmy: B) :laugh: :cheer: :woohoo: :pinch:

[spookyhurst]

I'm 32 and have never been married, so I'm pretty sure one of those boney women are me .

[Talon]

{Feel-good-0002006E}

[RdnkParamedic21]

Hahaha! Sooo funny! and put me down for an "I didn't look" <br><br>Post edited by: RdnkParamedic21, at: 2007/08/27 06:44

[judygram]

Should have known Josh couldn't stay out, well you are one of the ones I would allow, you are so cute and all.

[fourtrap]

no comment on this thread but good one Tari, I'm not as brave as Dan. hehehe:lol:

[Tari]

I found my man. After 18 years of marrage he is almost trained but still far from perfect.

[judygram]

I found one almost 40 years ago, now it is time for another. And none of them are trained or perfect unless they are perfect idiots.:whistle:

[RdnkParamedic21]

Grrr Judy! Don't judge us by our worst specimens please! :)

[Guest]

danmcq wrote:

No, we haven't looked.....

 

 

:laugh: :laugh:

[danmcq]

Ok Lovely Ladies.....

 

Need I comment further

[judygram]

Oh you really want to open a can of worms don't you Dan? Well you better watch out, the gloves are off now.

 

 

Josh, I find no fault with you, you cute things you, but you have to admit that there are some good specimens I speak of, but you are not one of them, thank goodness, unless you start up with the women bashing and then remember I warned you.

[danmcq]

Well, You all antagonized us men...............but.....

 

I refuse to have a battle of wits, with someone that is unarmed. :woohoo:

 

Ok, lets Dance!!! {Characters-00020059}

[judygram]

I'm not even gonna dignify that with an answer, we know better don't we girls. And you sure are lurking in our thread a lot aren't you Dan?

[lovemyGreys]

Why don't men wear tight underwear?

It cuts off circulation to the brain!

 

How does a man keep his youth?

By giving them money, furs and diamonds.

 

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?

A mental hospital.

 

Why are men like strawberries?

Because they take a long time to mature and by the time they do most are rotten.

 

Why does a man have a clear conscience?

Because it's never used.

 

How do you confuse a man?

You don't have to - they're born that way

 

What's the difference between a man and a chimpanzee?

One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching himself. The other is a chimpanzee.

 

What do you call a caring, considerate and gifted man?

A Myth.

 

 

Why don't men have mid-life crises?

They stay stuck in adolescence.

 

What do men and beer have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.

 

Shall i stop now Dan :laugh:

[judygram]

No please go on Tracy, I love it. Thanks for the laughs.

 

 

{Feel-good-0002006E}

[Toni]

Men Are Like...

... Blenders.

You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

 

... Chocolate Bars.

Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

 

... Coffee.

The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

 

... Commercials.

You can't believe a word they say.

 

... Computers.

Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

 

... Coolers.

Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

 

... Copiers.

You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

 

... Curling Irons.

They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

 

... Government Bonds.

They take way too long to mature.

 

... Horoscopes.

They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

 

... Lava Lamps.

Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

 

... Mascara.

They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

 

... Parking Spots.

The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.

 

... Popcorn.

They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

 

... Weather.

Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

[RdnkParamedic21]

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I would LOVE to jump in on this topic but I don't wanna get killed! More power to ya Dan, keep your head down! :laugh: :laugh: