Some behavior advice is appreciated (long post, sorry)

[Shades Of Grey]

Hello everyone,

I haven't had time to come online much lately, but I do stop in from time to time to read everyone's posts. Tui is doing well and he is adjusting to our home. I am trying to be the best grey owner I can be by having patience with him, keeping him busy, and showing lots of love. There are still some "problem areas" perhaps because I don't fully understand his behavior. I thought I would bring my concerns here for you experienced grey parronts. I only ask that you don't lecture, just inform me if I am doing something wrong. I am trying so hard to be a good mom to Tui I have the best intentions.

 

After a couple months, I am still having the same issue of getting Tui away from his cage unless he is standing on my hand. He is afraid of every perch or play stand I have presented him with. The same perch and stand have been in his view for a couple months but he avoids them at all costs by flapping his wings and leaning away even if I just walk by these areas. The perch is a cotton bungee, the same kind that he is comfortable with in his cage. We even attached the bungee to his cage and he stood on it a bit, but as soon as I hang it anywhere, it becomes an enemy. It is located at his favorite window right now. He loves to look out this window but only if I am holding him. The problem is that he wants to be held ALL DAY and he is only happy if he is perched on my hand or on the back of my recliner where he continues to tear holes into it the second I stop paying attention to him. These are my only two options. He would be happy if I carried him around all day, he is not settled with any other option I give him. He is still partially clipped and he now climbs down his cage and up to my chair several times a day whenever he is out. I want to be with him but I just can't do it 24/7 especially when he refuses to leave my hand. I have college work to do (older college student/stay at home mom) and a family to take care of, these things don't happen with a parrot on my hand lol. I would love to have him on a stand near me but he is not allowing this to happen.

 

I am also wondering if it is normal for him to still be panting and making sexy wings whenever I hold him. I have not been able to hold him once without this happening. It is obvious he has chosen me as a mate and he bites my husband if he tries to put him back on the cage when I am not around. Tui is only three and he really loves his mommy lol but I wonder if he will always do this. We don't encourage it and if he gets too flustered, I turn my attention away. Any thoughts on this.

 

I know this will fall into place with time and patience but at the moment it seems frustrating and overwhelming at times. I know he is not trying to be difficult but I feel like I just don't know what to do with him sometimes. I want Tui to be happy and a part of our family but I can't live my life with a parrot attached to my finger lol. He has quite an attitude and has even bitten me because I tried to put him down or didn't pay attention like he thought I should.

 

Any thoughts or advice on any of this

 

Thanks in advance

[Barbara2]

I just wanted to acknowledge your post. I wish I could help but I am a new parront myself (to a grey anyway...I have two older parrots that are not greys but they are both females.) I know someone will be along who is much more experienced than myself.

[Luvparrots]

Hi Amanda. I live alone and am retired so my grey is with me 24/7 just about. She is flighted and we are very close. I have boings and ceiling perches and other hanging apparatus all over my home and Ana Grey loves to be with me but will sit on her playstands and boings. I do have lots of toys and foraging things at her perches and boings and she has always liked to play with her toys and eat!!! I guess I don't quite understand, if Tui is not flighted how can she get to your fingers unless you pick her up and put her there?? Even when Ana Grey pesters me, which is rarely, I just flick her off my shoulder or arm and send her on her way. She gets the idea and goes about her business. I do however play with her and talk to her a lot. I have a towel on the top of my computer screen and Ana Grey likes to sit there sometimes. I also have a towel on the back of my computer chair so she can sit there without chewing on my furniture. I also place towels on the back of my sofa and its arm so that Ana Grey can be close and non-destructive. Small foot toys are also a good thing to keep our greys business.

[Shades Of Grey]

Hi Amanda. I live alone and am retired so my grey is with me 24/7 just about. She is flighted and we are very close. I have boings and ceiling perches and other hanging apparatus all over my home and Ana Grey loves to be with me but will sit on her playstands and boings. I do have lots of toys and foraging things at her perches and boings and she has always liked to play with her toys and eat!!! I guess I don't quite understand, if Tui is not flighted how can she get to your fingers unless you pick her up and put her there?? Even when Ana Grey pesters me, which is rarely, I just flick her off my shoulder or arm and send her on her way. She gets the idea and goes about her business. I do however play with her and talk to her a lot. I have a towel on the top of my computer screen and Ana Grey likes to sit there sometimes. I also have a towel on the back of my computer chair so she can sit there without chewing on my furniture. I also place towels on the back of my sofa and its arm so that Ana Grey can be close and non-destructive. Small foot toys are also a good thing to keep our greys business.

 

Thanks for your reply . Just to clarify, It is when Tui flutters to get to me that I pick him up then he hangs on for dear life and bites when I try to put him back down. He also climbs down his cage and walks to get to me where ever I may be. Of course, I pick him up a lot too when he is behaving well, for some quality time. I love being with him but I just can't hold him all the time. He needs to be willing to perch somewhere other than me. I have tried treats and favorite toys as enticements but he just acts afraid or unwilling to try standing anywhere except his cage, where he flutters and begs to be picked up..hum

[TeresaAnn]

Amanda, I haven't be a grey parront for long. My Diva so dose the mating dance and panting for me also she even trys to spit up on me. When she does this I take her back to her cage and tell her that's a bad girl and ignore her for sometime. She will also come out of her cage walk to me if I am at my computer and do the mating dance for my feet. I just push her away with my foot and ignore her. She gets the picture of me not being interested and moves on to something else. She will also come out of her cage and walk all the way down stairs to find her mama. Her wings aren't clipped but she just don't fly she walks everywhere. Diva will also bite at me if she don't want me to put her down or if I am trying to make her perch somewhere else. When she does this I just also ignore that behavior. Go ahead and perch her where I wanted her to be. If she don't want to be there she can walk back to her cage. Diva is very lovable she loves to sit on me or beside me would all day if i would allow her. I hope the best for u and Tui and pray things get better for all of you.

[Luvparrots]

Tui has you well-trained. You must be strong and stand your ground and he will have to find other things to play with. That is my advice. Make other things available to Tui and he will have to choose to interact with them instead of you. I also have the radio on sometimes in the bird room to entertain my fids. Perhaps others will have more suggestion for you.

[Shades Of Grey]

Thanks again for the help. Does anyone have any suggestions for getting him to accept perches I have placed throughout the house. He still acts fearful of all of them and I really need a have a place to put him so he can join the family more often instead of staying on his cage. I would like to involve him more in our day to day lives but I cant do it if he wont try to accept new areas to perch on. Is it ever alright to try to place him on the perch if he is afraid and just make him try it or would that not be appropriate for a timid grey? I could probably tip my hand and make him to step down but I don't know if that is a good idea. Maybe he just needs to take the plunge and get used to it but i read somewhere never to force a grey into a situation he is not comfortable with. Time and patience seem to be the popular, though less favorable, answer LOL

Edited November 8, 2010 by Shades Of Grey

[danmcq]

Does anyone have any suggestions for getting him to accept perches I have placed throughout the house. He still acts fearful of all of them and I really need a have a place to put him so he can join the family more often instead of staying on his cage. I would like to involve him more in our day to day lives but I cant do it if he wont try to accept new areas to perch on. Is it ever alright to try to place him on the perch if he is afraid and just make him try it or would that not be appropriate for a timid grey? I could probably tip my hand and make him to step down but I don't know if that is a good idea. Maybe he just needs to take the plunge and get used to it but i read somewhere never to force a grey into a situation he is not comfortable with. Time and patience seem to be the popular, though less favorable, answer LOL

 

You are doing wonderfully with Tui.

 

One thing you cannot do with a grey or really any parrot or animal, is force them to like something they are fearful of. It is only accomplished in itsy bitsy desensitization over a long period of time as you may progress one step or inch closer each day week and just stand there praising them for being so bold. The little baby happy to see mommy may never go away, just ignore it or perhaps offer a foot toy you keep at hand to divert that attention. My wife has to ignore Dayo sometimes for 30 seconds or so because he is so happy to see her he will almost instantaneously start the gurging reflex.

 

Right now, the way I see it based on your description, is Tui has two "Safe Zones", his cage and you. That's as much as he can trust anything right now. Thankfully he does trust you. So really, the only way to keep him feeling happy and safe is just spend the time you can with him, then place him back in his cage if you do not want him to come and bug you again until you have the time for later.

Edited November 8, 2010 by danmcq

[Shades Of Grey]

You are doing wonderfully with Tui.

 

One thing you cannot do with a grey or really any parrot or animal, is force them to like something they are fearful of. It is only accomplished in itsy bitsy desensitization over a long period of time as you may progress one step or inch closer each day week and just stand there praising them for being so bold. The little baby happy to see mommy may never go away, just ignore it or perhaps offer a foot toy you keep at hand to divert that attention. My wife has to ignore Dayo sometimes for 30 seconds or so because he is so happy to see her he will almost instantaneously start the gurging reflex.

 

Right now, the way I see it based on your description, is Tui has two "Safe Zones", his cage and you. That's as much as he can trust anything right now. Thankfully he does trust you. So really, the only way to keep him feeling happy and safe is just spend the time you can with him, then place him back in his cage if you do not want him to come and bug you again until you have the time for later.

 

I feel better about things now I know in my heart that things will take time and there is no quick fix for an insecure grey. Everyone here is great and I am glad that I am doing the right thing with Tui. I need to come post more often now that I have a bit more time to be online.

Tui made me laugh today. Ziggy, our conure, was chirping loudly because it was "in cage" time while I was busy upstairs. Tui kept telling Ziggy "Quiet Ziggy" in my husband's voice. My husband told Ziggy to be quiet yesterday as we were walking out the door and Tui picked up on it. It was so cute.

 

Thanks again

[Kaleah]

Like some of the others, I too am a new parront. I have had Kaleah for almost 6 weeks now and things are going great! I'm not sure what advice I can give as far as him not wanting to perch on anything besides his cage and yourself, but I do understand what you are going through with the regurgitation. It was only a few days after I brought Kaleah home that she bonded with me. She panted and whimpered and did the "sexy wings" as you put it (lol loved that). It escalated to the point where I couldn't even enjoy our time together because of the constant advances from her. I even had to start putting cotton balls in my ears other wise I would have an ear full of slimy half eaten seeds. I took the advice I was given, which was to ignore the behavior and distract her. It took awhile, but I've noticed in the last week or two she only puts the moves on me maybe once a day.

[Butttaxi]

hey i know this is an old thread but I was searching for experiences with the mating dance. My CAG Rorschach does his mating dance for me even if I don't touch him, all i have to do is go up with him and talk and he starts regurgitating and then his wings drop and the panting begins. I was all over the internet looking for an answer to what i should do about this sort of behavior... So far the only information I get is to turn my back and ignore it which is what I do, he starts, I walk away and he usually stops instantly. It has been getting more frequent, I guess it is coming on spring and it is time for him to mate... even though he may be too young for that yet, he will be 2 in the summer.

 

I do feel your pain with the "NEED TO BE WITH YOU", Rorschach is stuck to me a lot and since he is a flight birdie he can fly to me whenever he wants. Luckily I don't think he is as bad as you have it, Rorschach will play independently on his perch and thank heavens for foot toys it keeps him entertained while he is on my shoulder.

 

I am pretty new to this since we just adopted Rorschach last summer but my trick to get him into something he doesn't care for is to make it seem like the greatest thing on the planet. I basically get SUPER excited about whatever it is making him think it's awesome too. This is how I got him into loving being sprayed for his showers and how i teach him new tricks (treats don't always work, he needs to be told his the best bird ever) I have also used this trick for toweling, he had a phobia of towels so I made a game. I would perk up my voice and make a fun game out of it. Now I can wrap him in the towel and hold him like a baby. Just the other day I had taught him to wave his foot and his treat was me getting excited about it