My much loved grey just died

[kathleenbatlle]

Hello everybody: I've just joined this forum so I hope I'm writing in the correct place. I'm actually suffering today, so need to be forgiven as my wonderful Jimmy died suddenly yesterday and I can think of nothing except him and am completely puzzled as to why he left us so suddenly. We bought him when he was 5 months old and he has given us constant pleasure and joy for over 18 years. He was well cared for, and looked in perfect condition as I picked him up from the bottom of his cage. I just couldn't believe that we had lost him and the house is just cold and empty without him. Sebastian, my husband, was distraught when he came home and found me holding him on my lap stroking him. We feel as though someone has turned the light out. The suddenness of his death has absolutely stunned us as he appeared to be in perfect health the day before, crunching away through his fruit and veg which I cut up for him each morning. He especially loved the grapes from the garden and of course the carrots and cucumber. I just can't believe he's gone. I'm wondering if anyone else has had this experience and can help me understand why it happened. I would also like to know if it's advisable to get another african grey now or to wait a while. I'm so confused and sad, I don't want to do anything irrationally. Thanks for listening.

[danmcq]

Oh no, I am so sorry to hear this. It is a parrot owners worst nightmare. The only way to know what the cause of death was, would be to have your avian vet perform a necropsy. You need to get this done asap if you decide to sue to the body deteriorating quickly and if it goes too long, they will not be able to tell the cause of death.

 

I would take a few days or weeks to morn, but that is completely up to you on when you feel you can handle taking in a another grey.

 

You have my heartfelt condolences.

 

I started a new topic in this welcome room so others will see it. I hope you don't mind and welcome by the way.

[JDS5607]

I am so sorry.

I agree with Dan. If you can afford to (because I know it's expensive), it may give you some closure as to what happened to your beloved Jimmy to find out what happened. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that he was happy and healthy throughout his life and that he loved you with all his heart.

You've definately come to the right place though. I have been a member here for only a few months, and the people here will comfort you and pray for you and your family. We understand that losing Jimmy is as bad as losing a family member. Please take some time to mourn him, and remember him. I think you will know when you're ready to add another grey. It may take awhile, but when you're ready, there will be a grey out there that needs your love

 

Take care, and please let us know if there is anything you need. We're here for you!

Welcome to the forums! And please keep us updated on your family <3

[DrTak]

I am so sorry. It is better to have loved and lost, and all that.

 

The price we all pay for loving our pets. But, it is a price that's worth it.

 

"When you are old, you will think of all the dogs you never owned."

[Elvenking]

I had to endure only the idea of this pain when my Grey Issac flew away. I recovered him in about 24 hours, but I completely understand about the life being sucked out of your home. I was extremely sad. Your story wrenched my heart and I really feel for you. The only positive thing I can say is that at least your Grey is not hurting or in any pain. I sincerely offer my condolences and hope you find some way to move on, I know it has to be hard.

[Jayd]

i'm sorry.....

[judygram]

Kathleen I am so sorry to hear of your loss, you must be devastated but do consider a necropsy to find out what happened to Jimmy, it could have been something you were completely unaware of and could help someone else to not have to suffer the same fate.

If you would like you can make a post in the Pet Memorial room but again I am so sorry.

[texascowboy1979]

Im sorry, my heart and wishes are with you.

[Azzie]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your feelings of grief, confusion and emptiness are normal - your family has just lost one of its members. I pray you will take some comfort in the fact that Jimmy had a wonderful life with your family, and is obviously well loved.

 

When my 12 year old black lab Ollo died suddenly 2 years ago, I was devastated, and feeling the same as you are. I knew I wanted another dog, but not immediately. I was feeling so sad and empty, I decided to go to a petshop and surround myself with loving living creatures, just for some comfort for myself. I had no intention of buying anything. However, as I walked past the dog kennels, the very last one contained a single German shepherd pup, and it was love at first sight. I cried all over her fur in that shop, and took her home with me that very same day. She is not a replacement for Ollo, as nothing can replace him, and there will ALWAYS be an Ollo shaped hole in my heart, but getting her was the best thing I could have done I realise now. She did take away the emptiness, and gave me something positive to focus on during a really difficult time.

 

There is no right or wrong if you decide to get another grey immediately, or wait a little while. In this instance, I'd say go with your heart, because regardless of what you decide, Jimmy will live on inside you forever. I still have a little shrine here for Ollo, with his ashes, some candles and some little ornaments, and rarely a day goes by where I don't miss him, but the sharpness of the pain and loss has faded, and I am more able to think of the good and the funny moments with him. Eventually your pain will fade too, although that won't do you much good during this aweful time.

 

As to why Jimmy died, there could be many reasons. As the others suggested, a necropsy will give you the answers you are looking for, but I don't know if that would make things easier for you, or serve to make you feel like there was more you should/could have done. And don't be surprised if these feelings, and feelings of guilt pop up also during your grieving process.

 

I wish you and your family strength and peace during this time, and always remember how well cared for your Jimmy was. I hope to hear more about your decision as to whether you will get another bird or not.

[lisamarie973]

Hi, I'm brand new here to the forum. I couldn't imagine the pain I'd feel if I were to lose my little baby, and I've only had him home for a little over a week now. I'm sure the hurt seems unbareable at the moment, but I agree with all the others, if you think getting another grey will help take the focus off the tragic loss of Jimmy, then go for it. Baby greys are so full of life and so funny and silly that even if it takes 1 single moment of grief out of your day, then I'd say it was worth it. My prayers are with you and your family at this time.

[Birdnut]

So sorry for your loss.

[kathleenbatlle]

Thank you so much everyone who replied to my message about Jimmy who died yesterday. It's really nice to know that so many of you are sharing my grief. Sebastian and I have spent such a sad day today with no cheeky chatter from Jimmy although we don't need to talk about our feeling, we only have to look at each other to fee the pain.

 

I'm not sure where I would be able to go here to get an examination to find out why Jimmy died. Although the Spanish people have improved their care of domestic animals over the years that I have lived here, and there are lots of Veterinary clinics around, very few of them specialise in exotic pets. Anyway, it's too late now as I put him in a very nice shoe box on a bed of scrunched up tissue paper and Sebastian buried him at the bottom of our garden along with Lucy and Nina, two much loved dogs who died a few years ago, several years apart. Lucy was a beautiful Bouvier de Flanders and Nina a Siberian Husky. They were both here with Jimmy and even though we lost them, Jimmy still kept calling them, so they stayed in our hearts and minds all the time. It does give me a certain amount of comfort to know that they are all together again here in our garden.

 

My family and friends have been calling all day and offering comfort, which is nice, and most of them have suggested getting another african grey, but I need to wait a while until I'm really sure it's the best thing to do. Alba, my daughter, wasn't keen on Jimmy, but she knew that her Dad and I loved him and she even said we should get another one. I just think that perhaps it would be rather selfish as we are both aged 70 now and he may outlive us.

 

Anyway, thanks so much, all of you, for your kind words of comfort. I really do appreciate it.

[Azzie]

Kathleen, maybe you will get some comfort from these sites:

 

http://rainbowsbridge.com/

 

http://www.petsonthenet.co.nz/prayersandpoems.htm

 

[kathleenbatlle]

Thank you very much for this. What a wonderful thought that our pets are all frolicking around waiting for us to join them. Yes, it does bring some comfort, thanks.

[JDS5607]

They were both here with Jimmy and even though we lost them, Jimmy still kept calling them, so they stayed in our hearts and minds all the time. It does give me a certain amount of comfort to know that they are all together again here in our garden.

 

 

What a beautiful thought

[Luvparrots]

Kathleen, I feel your loss and I pray for sweet Jimmy. Please take solace in the fact that Jimmy didn't suffer and was happy and carefree within your home. You truly will meet again and each time you think of Jimmy you can smile and know he loved you and Sebastian and he knew your love and now he fly free waiting for you to come home with him. I am 64 and didn't get my grey until I was 62 and she was 4 months old. I don't regret it and know she will be loved by my 21 year old grandson when I go as all arrangements are in place for this to happen, just in case. If you choose to provide a loving home for another grey, please do so, the joy you bring to each other nothing can replace; and it is a perfect way to honor the memory of sweet Jimmy. God Bless Jimmy and you, Kathleen and Sebastian.

[katana600]

Thanks for sharing your time with us to commemorate how vital your connection with Jimmy has been for these years. I am so sorry for your loss. If you give yourself a period of time for your grief, once the shock is absorbed some, you will find a way to pay tribute to your beloved Jimmy. If you do decide to grace your home with another feathered friend, you know it won't be a replacement for him, but an addition because of his charm. I was over fifty when I got my little guy and my daughters are with me and on board for taking care of him if that becomes necessary. They have known him since he was a chick and if it right for your family, you will make a decision together. I have a friend who is in her late nineties, still active and able to care for herself and none of us know our time here. This is such a sad time. When you are up to it, I would love to hear some of the stories of your life together.

[jeanna]

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now. Maybe you can rescue an older grey in need a loving home! Not as a replacement for Jimmy, but in his honor.

[GoDiego]

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss....

[DrTak]

When Quillo, our German Shepherd died at home almost exactly two years ago, I thought I'd wait and get over my grief, and buy a new dog when the time was right.

 

I could not stand the silence and lack of my partner, and ended up with a puppy less than a week later. Goliath is now 2, and is not a replacement for anybody. He is the best sweetest most reliable shepherd I have ever had.

 

I only wish he'd live to 25 or so . . .

[kathleenbatlle]

Thank you all again for your kind thoughts. I'm still very weepy, and can't look at Sebastian without becoming teary, but this morning I went to town to a reputable pet shop. I knew they had a grey there, just inside the door, and I knew I'd be upset, but just had to visit him. Well, as soon as I arrived at his cage he said 'hola' to me and came to where I was standing. I spoke to him and of course burst into tears again. The lady assistant came to see what was wrong so I told her about Jimmy and she said she thought it would be a good idea to get another one. This one is about a year old, but has been hand reared and is very tame. She opened the cage and he immediately stepped onto her hand and started chattering, in Spanish of course. I said I would talk to Sebastian about buying him and may be back. He's been in that shop for a few months now as of course he's expensive and people are trying to be careful nowadays, especially here where businesses are closing down every day and people are losing their jobs. I always spoke to him whenever I went to buy Jimmy's food, never thinking that one day I may bring him home. My friend Trish came to the nearby coffee bar to sit with me for a while and she suggested that, regardless of what Sebastian says, I wait a while before I plunge into buying the new grey. I think this is sensible too. When I arrived home I told Sebastian about the grey in the shop and he said that it was up to me if I wanted to buy him, but I must be totally away that, however nice he is, he's not Jimmy. Sebastian is wise and knows how impulsive I am, so I think i would be best to wait before I decide what to do.

 

Thanks so much for listening to me, it has been a great comfort and I'm sure you'll be interested in my story.

[Coral&Andrew]

Im sorry for your loss, RIP ! X

[tbird]

My condolences I could just imagine how you feel...

[chezron]

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how horrible this is for you.

 

If you do get a necropsy-and I think it would help your peace of mind-please let us know the results.

[Buffy]

I am so sorry as well. The pain of losing a beloved pet is devastating especially when it is so unexpected. I would highly recommend getting a necropsy done before bringing another bird into the home. I feel it is vital to know the cause in case it is an environmental toxin of some sort. Do you have a carbon monoxide detector? Your story reminds me of one I recently read in a bird magazine in which it was a carbon monoxide leak. Other than that, I always think its important to open your loving home to another animal after losing one, but that is, without a doubt, a personal decision you and your family have to make. You and your family will be in my thoughts.