Murphy is scared of me after holiday?

[reggieroo]

I have just came back from two weeks in Turkey & Murphy has been staying with my parents. I was obviously worried that he wouldn't settle in but they said he was just fine. I had taken him on visits there in the past so he felt comfortable staying there & he gets on well with both my parents & they took his cage.

 

Anyway they brought him back to me on Sunday & he seemed genuinely happy to be back. I took him out of his pet carrier no problem as expected, put him on his stand with us all in the living room & he sat there pruning himself & seemed normal & happy. Put him to bed that evening, again as normal, everything was fine.

 

The next morning (Monday) I took off the sheet to say good morning he didn't look happy, I opened the door to get him out as I normally do & he wasn't having any of it. He ran to the back of the cage all puffed up & wouldn't let me touch him! I left him alone & tried the same thing 4-5 times with no success. He was just hopping from one foot to the other in a very nervous anxious fashion.

 

The only way to get him to come out was to leave the door open & walk away. Once out of the cage he wouldn't step up or let me tickle or touch him in any way. Eventually he flew into the living room to his stand & as time went on I was able to give him tickles etc. By the evening time he was fine & seemed back to normal. Same as normal I put him to bed, kisses, tickles etc & all seemed good.

 

Then again this morning the same thing, hoping from one foot to the other cheeping nervously, won't come out & let me touch him he seemed genuinely scared of me . If I try he just thrashes about the cage. I've opened the door to let him out as I want to give him a shower as he hasn't had one for over two weeks. I've now got to spend the next hour or two gaining his trust.

 

He also hasn't eaten a lot since being home but my parents even mentioned how much he ate when staying with them, they couldn't believe it for such a small creature. They said even the next day after going there he was fine & eating well.

 

Whats going on with him?

Edited July 21, 2010 by reggieroo

[Yossi]

He's a little mad at you and he misses your parents. It's just his way of letting you know that. I wouldn't worry about it. My 'zon sulks for a good week or two after I come back from a holiday. I just spend more time around him, talking to him for that first week or so. By feeling bad and worrying, he'll pick up on that and milk it for all it's worth. Just ignore the behavior and act like it's normal. He'll get over it.

[danmcq]

I agree with Yossi. They are tempermental and moody when events like this take place.

 

Just sit back, let him get over it and you just act like all is normal.

[reggieroo]

I wondered if he was just being a little moody but just couldn't understand the fearful way he was acting while in the cage. I got him to step up shortly after him coming out & I gave him a shower & he acted same as normal.

 

Just this last three mornings I can't get him to step up while in the cage. Hope he gets over it soon & things get back to normal. He's out now & flying about & he seems fine but bet tomorrow morning will be a different matter. lets hope not!

[Luvparrots]

What was the routine your parents used in their home with Murphy?? Perhaps Murphy liked that routine better?? Frankly, as long as Murphy is healthy and all right, I would just act normally with Murphy and get him back into a routine you both like.

[reggieroo]

I doubt he liked the routine at my parents too much as he spent most of the day in the cage. I did ask them to let him have plenty of out of cage time & at least 4 hrs each day but it didn't happen. My Mum didn't feel confident enough to let him out until my Dad came home after work which was only for a couple of hrs. Then he had a few days alone all day as my Mum had to go over to Ireland for my Grans memorial service.

 

I didn't moan though as they were kind enough to look after him at short notice. He got well fed & Dad said he gave him lots of attention when he was there. Maybe he got used to being in his cage & doesn't like me taking him out? Was the other way round before he went :confused:

[reggieroo]

Well Murphy is still the same with me, I still can't get him to step up out of the cage & even when out of the cage & I try to give him a tickle he shys away & tries to avoid my hand, sometimes even flying off.

 

Surely he still can't be in a mood with me for going on holiday?

 

It feels like he doesn't trust me anymore, unless I move very slow while making clicking sounds I can't get near him but yet Kate can go take him straight out of the cage.

[tarm]

Don't have much experience and even less with Greys but looking at if from a Greys perspective with the whole flock mentality think : Assuming you were the flock leader and you left and abandoned him for two weeks in his eyes. I would say he could have lost confidence in you as the flock leader and it may take some time to earn that back. Maybe a bit of positive reinforcement training with the whole treat and basic step up drills etc. Kind of starting at the beginning to use it as a confidence builder or rebuilder in this instance? Something simple and fun for the bird and you that can get you two to rebond. Anyways just figured I would throw that out there.

 

Can Kate take him out without issue first thing in the morning? If so then I think that sure points to that its you that he has lost confidence in or is still pissed off at.

[Jayd]

Well Murphy is still the same with me, I still can't get him to step up out of the cage & even when out of the cage & I try to give him a tickle he shys away & tries to avoid my hand, sometimes even flying off.

Surely he still can't be in a mood with me for going on holiday?

It feels like he doesn't trust me anymore, unless I move very slow while making clicking sounds I can't get near him but yet Kate can go take him straight out of the cage.

Stay calm, carry on as if nothing happened, he'll come around, Our Grey's change as they get older, it sounds like while on holiday he spent more time with a women, don't change your routine, no new training, keep thing's as they were, just spend a little more time with him, it's more attitude then trust....Murphy could be changing his preferences..... Jayd

[reggieroo]

I've just been doing things the same as before, tried a little step up training today while he was on his stand, he didn't like it.

 

Attitude it could well be Jayd, as for how he is with Kate, Murphy's not her favorite at the moment. Maybe another post on that.

[tarm]

I am really sorry how badly he took being away from you guys. I am sure time is what is needed. It is always amazing how our friend's extreme intelligence so many times is a double edged sword. It would sure be nice if they could tell in ways we could easily understand what the issue is.

[Jayd]

It would sure be nice if they could tell in ways we could easily understand what the issue is.

A Grey is very adept at telling us their needs and wants, all we have to do is listen,as Danmcq said. We have to listen when he talks, both in our language and his, and in his body movements. Here's some links of grey't value, especially Dan's thread. Jayd

http://www.greyforums.net/forums/showthread.php?189638-Grey-Cognition-and-language-abilities

http://www.africangreys.com/

http://www.alexfoundation.org/

[tarm]

Thanks for the links.

[reggieroo]

Well Murphy has finally let me take him out of the cage this last two mornings, he has stepped up for me. I had to be persistent though, keep trying & not give up asking him to step up. This morning he seems to back to his normal self, I gave him his usual tickles on top of the cage for the first time since I have been back.

 

One thing worth mentioning is the shrieking/screaming issue has improved a lot since I've been back, my parents said he was screaming rather a lot when he was with them. I expected to have to deal with all that screaming again but he has been really good, two whole days & not one scream & just a few here & there the rest of the days. In one way the holiday may have done us all some good now he is over his little grump about me leaving him. It also gave me a well deserved break from the screaming & I feel more relaxed now back home.

 

Maybe I should update my shrieking/screaming post.

Edited July 30, 2010 by reggieroo

[rawleyd]

that's good to hear. how long were you gone again, 2 weeks?

[reggieroo]

that's good to hear. how long were you gone again, 2 weeks?

 

Yes, I was away for two weeks.

[tarm]

Boy he really made you pay for some time for that one. Funny how it seems like he made you pay just as long as you were away as it been about two weeks he has been pissed at you.

[pearllyn]

It must be pretty upsetting for you. Any change in Murphy's behaviour yet? If he seems fine and healthy otherwise try not to worry too much.........it could be him just growing up a little as well. We went through many different phases with Alfie, not wanting to step up or having anything to do with me. So long as you're consistent with him he should come around.

[reggieroo]

It must be pretty upsetting for you. Any change in Murphy's behaviour yet? If he seems fine and healthy otherwise try not to worry too much.........it could be him just growing up a little as well. We went through many different phases with Alfie, not wanting to step up or having anything to do with me. So long as you're consistent with him he should come around.

 

Murphy is back to his old self, unfortunately so is the screaming issue

It seemed while he was off with me, his screaming had reduced along with his interactions. Now he is comfortable with me & is once again my friend his screaming is back with a vengeance.

 

It's never plain sailing with this boy!