Is Something Wrong With Me?

[quilter43]

It's me, Sherry, again - I need more advice about my 14 year old Grey named Winter. I'll have him 2 weeks on Sunday. He is a great, great bird. Will go with anyone and I mean anyone - but me . It is my fault because everytime I try to get him to step up - either from his perch inside of his cage or on the outside of his cage, he puts his head down and I flinch. If he is on the floor, or if someone else is holding him, I can get him to step up just fine. My friend and her husband can get him to step up no matter where he is. They can also put their hand in his mouth and play with him. I don't understand why he puts his head down with me and no one else. I have a bird trainer coming over tomorrow for a consultation so, I hope he can help me - but, my friend's husband came over last night and said - if he couldn't help me, how can the trainer. He tried so hard to get me to pick up Winter while he was on his cage but, Winter kept putting his head down and I can't get near his feet - so I kept flinching. I love this bird and I don't know what to do. If I was not afraid of getting bitten, I wouldn't need a trainer to come over.

[danmcq]

Please understand, he knows you are afraid.

 

Talk to him in a very high, excited and friendly voice as you approach. Resolve to have no fear, don't flinch no matter what and go in with your fist balled, bent down so the skin is tight on the back of the hand and know he cannot get a bite on that area. He may try, but you can rotate your hand accordingly if he tests it. The first step, is to let him know you are not afraid.

 

You may want to wait until the consultant you have coming over help and guide you. Every parrot learns quickly who is afraid and who's not. one flinch and your dome with mature bird that already knows human body language. That is, until you stop doing it.

 

I'm sure others will chime in as well.

[quilter43]

Yes, I get that he knows I am going to flinch if he is on the cage. I am going to wait until the trainer comes over tomorrow. I hope that 2 weeks of trying has not ruined my chances. I am so darn lucky to have this bird who really does not have any baggage and was trained so well. I will keep you posted as to how we do over the weekend.

[Jayd]

. I am so darn lucky to have this bird who really does not have any baggage and was trained so well.

Hi Sherry, what Dan says is true. Sorry, but your baby is showing you some of his baggage by how he is acting towards you, this may sound silly, it could be the color of your hair, the hand soap you use, your shampoo, make-up, any number of things, these things can remind him of something or some one else..You'll work it out...Jayd, Maggie, Spock and the flock...

[Dave007]

***. I am so darn lucky to have this bird who really does not have any baggage and was trained so well.""""

 

Trained so well has absolutely nothing to do with biting.

 

Concerning that first sentence above, I doubt that very very much. I've never seen an adult bird who has lived with others that didn't have any have any baggage or history. That's just not possible. The only bird you'll see that doesn't have these things is a dead one.

You ask about mistakes you may have been involved in---well, first off, a lot of people shouldn't have been involved with that bird during thes last 2 weeks which is actually no time to make judgements concerning an adult bird in a new home and environment. People shouldn't be sticking their fingers in a bird's mouth and that also applies to very young birds. Many birds get sick when people do that. The first order of business is to accept the fact that your bird is gonna bite you. That goes on in the world of parrots. He may not bite others but remember that you're the one who constantly shows obvious fear. On the other hand, a bird may come into a new house and is only friendly with you but not any one else. Keep doing that and your bird will be unsure about your movements with him and birds don't like dealing with someone who's showing nervousness with him. It's much easier to bite a person quickly and keep that nervousness away.

Honestly, there's not much any trainer can do for you if you're gonna act nervous around him because the trainer is gonna be doing things, even getting bitten in order to show you things. You're not sure of him so why should he be sure of you.

So first and foremost, you need to understand how parrots can act in many situations. That putting it's head down can mean a few things and you need to stuidy body language carefully. If you haven't a clue as to what that is, there's a post on this board that deals with that subject. Nothing good can happen when you deal with a parrot if you're afraid of different things that a parrot can do. Plus, a parrot will bite for many other reasons other than being picked up and you'll see that in the future.

Edited July 2, 2010 by Dave007

[quilter43]

I am going to try what Danmcq advised. I am not going to give up on this bird and I am not going to give up on me! Perhaps there might be people on here who may believe that someone like me, who is not sure of herself and who does not have parrot experience should take on a 14 year old grey. I am sure I am not the first to try it - nor will I be the last. I've always had dogs and cats that I've rescued and they all carry baggage with them from their previous owners. Birds, I am finding out are different altogether. I am determined to make this work and make Winter a very happy bird. Thanks to everyone for their help during this transition in my life.

Edited July 2, 2010 by quilter43

[judygram]

I am not going to give up on this bird and I am not going to give up on me!

 

I am determined to make this work and make Winter a very happy bird.

 

With that attitude how can you fail, Sherry you are so right to be determined and never give up for this will take time but you will prevail, I have faith in you, you go girl!

[quilter43]

Thanks, Judygram!!!!!

[Luvparrots]

I believe you Sherry, you can adjust your attitude toward Winter and become more confident. Once you get over the fear of a bite then Winter will be able to accept you as someone he can trust. I am very hopeful that your bird whisper will be able to help you become more confident. I look forward to hearing about how the visit goes. Good luck!!!

[Birdnut]

Hi Sherry ... welcome. To start with, there's definitely nothing wrong with you. It's completely normal for someone who is not acclimated to handling parrots to be a bit timid about their beaks. Parrots do bite sometimes; parrot keepers learn to accept this. They jokingly say things like, "You can't scare me, I have a parrot!" They compare old "war wounds" and then gush about how much they love their birds.

 

You can certainly minimize the chance of being bitten by getting to know your bird and its body language, and by handling the bird with respect for its moods and individual preferences. It sounds like you're off to a good start with a great bird and a positive attitude. Don't worry. You'll get there. Be patient with yourself. Just try to relax with the process.

[Acappella]

Everyone has given great advice. Keep in mind that every time that beak touches you it isn't for a bite. I had Dorian up with my dad last night and dad kept on asking why I was letting Dorian bite me, but he wasn't biting. He's still nervous when he's being carried (came to me totally terrified of hands), so when he's nervous he often 'tests' his perch by gently holding on with his beak. Once in a while he gets a little too hard and I have to distract him and say 'gentle', but most of the time he's just gently re-assuring himself that he has a firm perch.

 

He can read your mood, and if you're apprehensive, that will in turn make him nervous. I got some great advice from an animal behaviourist last summer. She told me to treat Dorian like he was already the bird I wanted him to be, like we already had the relationship I wanted. It really changed my attitude when I approached him, and he seemed to notice the change in my confidence, which in turn seemed to relax him. It's like they think, 'she's not nervous, I guess everything is ok'. Just like a child who falls, if the parent freaks out and runs to them they seem to figure "I must be hurt, I'd better start crying", but if the parent calmly says 'oops, get back up' the kid just goes about its' business. You can't over-estimate the influence you have. If you have to, do some visualisation before you interact with your baby. Picture yourself over and over again calmly approaching the cage. Even rehearse in your mind what you will do if you do get a bite. (btw, what you do in that case is calmly say 'no bite', make a very sad face, because they totally read our facial expressions, and then turn your back on the bird/walk away for a couple of minutes. Then go back to him all happy, like nothing happened)

 

Combine these practices with learning to read birdy body language, and you can make great progress in developing a relationship with your new baby. Of course, we're always here to cheer you on.

[Jayd]

:)Hi, lets see if we can summarize, it appears that most feel that your afraid of being bitten, and your having trouble hiding your emotions around your fid, it seems most of the posts agree upon this.

 

You have a "Bird Whisperer"[?] coming over to give you some advice. Question? How many years Grey parrot experience has this person had? How many Greys has he/she raised? How many years has this person owned/ lived daily with a Grey? How old is this person? If you add all the years of all the people who have responded to your thread that they've raised or worked with Greys, they are truly Bird Whisperer's'

Question? if this person has limited experience with Greys, the same above questions apply's to other parrots. Question? is their knowledge mostly from books?:confused:

 

If you go into a room with 50 Amazons or another group of parrot's, all the same age, you'll find about 98% are all the same or extremely similar, emotional etc.

Now, do the same with Greys! you'd be lucky to find 2 alike! My point, for a parrot other than a Grey, a single person can advise, with a Grey, this isn't possible, there's just not enough years. :eek:

 

Right here you have the best advice on earth, These good people have felt not only the good and fun of Greys, but the tragedy as well, and pass on this advice to all who ask!

Jayd and Maggie:)

Edited July 3, 2010 by Jayd

[danmcq]

Looking forward to hearing how the behavioral consultant visit went.

[Acappella]

So, how did your visit with the consultant go?

[Loki'sMinion]

So, how did your visit with the consultant go?

 

Yes, we have been waiting to hear if you have learned anything that will help you progress in your relationship with Winter.

 

Please let us know

[Tweedle]

Just a thought - when teaching animals, breaking a behaviour down into smalls steps and rewarding a gradual build up to the desired behaviour works really well. It also works really well on people! If the full 'step-up' behaviour is too much for you at the moment, try breaking it down - being near to Winter, talking, passing treats, asking if would like a tickle, holding hand in front, luring up onto hand with a treat......however it suits you to break it down. But reward YOURSELF for completing each step with confidence, and don't move on to the next step until you are REALLY happy with where you are. Your bird will see you being successful, and happy at what's happening, which must make interactions more positive.

[judygram]

Thats excellent advice Tweedle, thanks.

[quilter43]

Well, I still can't pick him up after almost a month but, we are getting closer. I am able to hold and pet his beak and one time, I was able to pet the back of his head. My friend came over last night and picked him up. I am able to pick Winter up if someone else is holding him so, I picked him up and held him and talked sweetly to him. It will be just a matter of time before we are both comfortable for me to pick him up from his cage. Thanks, all!

[Malikah]

So glad to hear you are making good progress.

[judygram]

Well, I still can't pick him up after almost a month but, we are getting closer. I am able to hold and pet his beak and one time, I was able to pet the back of his head. My friend came over last night and picked him up. I am able to pick Winter up if someone else is holding him so, I picked him up and held him and talked sweetly to him. It will be just a matter of time before we are both comfortable for me to pick him up from his cage. Thanks, all!

This is great progress after only a month, remember it takes lots of time when dealing with an older bird and you have come far in a short period of time, imagine what you may be able to do in another month or two or a year from now, small steps is great so keep up the good work.

[msasser]

Well, I still can't pick him up after almost a month but, we are getting closer. I am able to hold and pet his beak and one time, I was able to pet the back of his head. My friend came over last night and picked him up. I am able to pick Winter up if someone else is holding him so, I picked him up and held him and talked sweetly to him. It will be just a matter of time before we are both comfortable for me to pick him up from his cage. Thanks, all!

 

It does take time to build trust, I found that with Rose. Keep at it and take small steps. It will come!