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Corrupt-a-Dream


Tricky

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You wake up and realise you are in a beautiful palace. Your dream came true....you are the Queen. You look around and find a bell pull....ding dong. Up comes your lady in waiting and tells you the prime minister is waiting to see you.......not even time for breakfast.

You go down to your library where the prime minister is pacing the floor. You spend the whole morning trying to solve a political scandle. Just as you are about to take lunch, you catch sight of a newspaper. Oh no!! What has your cousin been up to now. You have to sort it.......afternoon gone and just when you think things couldn't get any worse you get a call from the French president and spend 4 hours attempting to prevent a security breach. You realise that it is midnight and you need to go to bed......

not quite the job you thought!!

 

I wish Ollie hadn't bitten me today.it hurt!!

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You are in lucky the time goes backward until just before the forbidden bite from Ollie, you are prepared this time and as time goes forward you quickly move your hand away but this frightens Ollie and he flies out the door your husband has just come in. You spend the rest of the night trying to bribe Ollie from the neighbors 40 feet evergreen tree in the pouring rain!

 

 

I wish I could turn back time!

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Well, you have had the worst week you could imagine. If it could possibly have gone wrong it did!!! You are so fed up that you decide to polish your ornaments. After breaking your favourite piece you wish that you could turn the clock back. Suddenly, you find yourself back at the beginning of the week.

Unfortunately, too late, you realise you can't change anything and you have to live the whole darned week again. When you start polishing the ornaments, to your horror, you wishe the same wish and it starts all over again!!! You live for ever reliving the worst week of your life.

 

I wish my car hadn't broken down today.

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After the tow truck gets you to the garage and after 3 hours of intense searching, your mechanic finds your car didn't breakdown after all. Someone put a tennis ball in the exhaust and once the ball was removed your car worked excellently. Unfortunately, you still had to pay the 3 hours in labor for your mechanic to locate the problem!!!!! $$$$$$$$$ :(

 

I wish everyone a happy Sunday!!!

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You wake on Sunday morning and on going down stairs everyone greets you wih a smile. It seems that whatever you say makes them laugh. You head off to the park and everyone that passes you is laughing. You begin to think your skirt is caught in your knickers or something. By the time you arrive at the park everyone walking their dogs is laughing....in fact, even the dogs are laughing. You can't stand it any longer and cover your ears and run back to the house. All your family are screaming with laughter....you run upstairs and cover your head with the duvet. When you wake.....hooray....it's Monday and sanity has returned.

 

 

I wish I could go on a holiday tomorrow.

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You go on holiday, but everyone else has to work and your birds have made plans w/o you. You are bored and alone all day.

 

I wish that in a room with 500 other people w/ jury duty today, I could find at least one person that has an IQ higher than a houseplant to talk to.

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You are in luck the attorneys on both sides find all potential jurors incompetent save you and bring in 500 more potential jurors. Unfortunately they are all mathematicians and find your abilities beneath them.

 

I wish there were 4 weekend days and only 3 working days in a week.

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Well.....you have it. The Government declare that Friday is now officially the weekend as well. They name you as the person who contributed most to the campaign.

Unfortunately....now all the banks are closed for three days a week as well and those people who always got paid on Fridays have to wait until Monday. You become very unpopular as the shops takings at weekend is halved. You are unable to leave your house as the shopkeepers are protesting outside. You end up having to leave the country and arrive in a country where you have to work seven days a week to earn enough to eat!!

 

 

 

I wish that my diet was working.

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  • 1 month later...

a device is invented to allow you to do so but it hasn't been perfected yet and still has a lot of bugs. unfortunately this means that it sometimes goes off on its own and makes you restart a day you didn't want to. sometimes this happens several times a day...

 

i wish i could do a cartwheel.

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You practice every day for a month and finally you can cartwheel with the best of them. One day as you are showing off for the neighborhood you cartwheel four consecutive times and end up in the almost dried cement of the new sidewalk, ooops! You are stuck!!!!

 

I wish I could make perfect pie crust!!!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ahhhh, you are now rich and retired but the joy of being able to do what you want is marred by the fact that all your friends still have to work to earn a living and so you have no one to enjoy your new freedom with. You drown your sorrows in ice cream and calorie laded treats and gain 100 lbs!!!!!

 

I wish I could eat anything I wanted and gain no extra weight.<br><br>Post edited by: luvparrots, at: 2009/08/06 06:05

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You don't gain any weight, in fact, you can't keep weight on. At first it's cool, you get that Hollywood body everyone dreams of, but then there is a family intervention because everyone thinks you're aneorexic.....and you end up in a loony bin/treatment facility. That doesn't work though and you continue to waste away till you're to skinny to shop in the juniors dept, your boobs go away and nobody will look at you.

 

I wish Buddy would stop pooping in my hair.

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Great news, Buddy stops pooping in your hair and you are delighted. Unfortunately he now poops in your left shoe!! :sick: And to make things worse, Schroeders has starting pooping in your hair every time you wash it!:blink: :(

 

I wish every night sky was clear and I could always see the stars up above.

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You go to a hypnotist and he puts you under for twelve hours of blissful sleep. Nice and peaceful sleeping for you has the world goes into total and devastating chaos. Buildings crumbling, vehicles stalling, all animals stampeding and flying around amuck. Name it, it is happening. You awake refreshed and alive 12 hours later to total destruction of the world.

 

I wish all animals spoke English.

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One day as you again tell all your co-workers how much you need a long vacation your boss hears your complain and is so fed up with your complaining he throws his hands up in the air and says "Go, go get out on a long vacation." How long you ask and your boss says "Just get going, we'll call you when your long vacation is over." Unfortunately, even after 36 weeks, you still haven't been called to return to work!!!! :(

 

I wished I could grant wishes to anyone I wanted to.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You have the winning ticket to the lottery and are happy that you buy (on credit) every adult in your family a new car and buy (on credit again) an island in the South Seas and fly (on credit again) the whole family there to wait for you while you go pick up your winnings. Unfortunately the taxes on the winnings eat up a lot of the winnings and after your credit is called in you find that you owe $1,000,000 more than you won after taxes!!!!!

 

I wish it would thunder and lightning tonight.

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  • 4 weeks later...

You do. You make the best fid toys ever. Your fid toy making skills are unrivalled. There is no-one who makes fid toys like you, on the planet!

Your skills are so sought after, that you are inundated with requests for fid toys, and out of the goodness of your heart, you pledge to fulfil every, last order! Unfortunalely, now all your time is taken up with toy making and you don't have any time at all to spend doing the things you want to do, including, spending time with your own fids.

 

I wish my bird will be happy and healthy for the rest of her life.

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