Sad

[crossfit]

Well, after two months of preparation, the women who was giving me her Grey changed her mind. Ipo lived here with me for 2 days before Racheal decided she missed Ipo too much to give her up. I am hoping that all goes well there as I don't really believe that anything has changed there and that Ipo will continue to have less time spent with her than she could use. On the other hand she will stay with the lady who she sees as her mom and has known her ten years of life.

 

So, I guess I am in the market for an African Grey. I am unsure of trying to rehome a bird after this experience. My heart is heavy as I have grown to really love this bird and don't want to have another person do the same thing to me again. My family is upset seeing how sad I am and the amount of energy I put into this process to make Ipo comfortable and think I should get a baby so I don't have to worry about someone trying to take back an older bird.

 

Oh well. Its hard to think clearly when your sad so I will probably not decide for a few days. I do have the cage still as well as the toys and such that I had bought for Ipo so that part of planning has been handled.

 

In the meantime, if anyone in the San Jose or Santa Cruz area can help me learn who are good breeders and pet stores and reputable rehoming organizations, that would probably be a first step. Feel free to send that info in a private message if you wish. I am not sure of the boards position on recommending services in the regular forums.

[Luvparrots]

I am so sorry that things turned out the way they did for you and Ipo. I hope someone in the California area can help you with finding a breeder or places to find greys to re-home. Good luck and I am so sorry for the let down.<br><br>Post edited by: luvparrots, at: 2009/12/22 02:45

[judygram]

I am so sorry to hear you no longer have Ipo but maybe she can give the bird more time and attention now that she knows what it is to live without her. Maybe it just wasn't meant for you to have this grey but you will find another and maybe it will be a better choice to go with a baby grey.

 

You can look for breeders in your area at www.avianbiotech.com and www.birdbreeders.com

[crossfit]

That is what I am hoping Judy. If it works out, it will be best for everyone and I can be happy knowing that my two months involved with them led to them getting their lives back together. That is a major gift and I didn't even know I was giving it. And it makes the sadness much easier to bear.

 

If it doesn't, and her illness keeps her from being able to do what she really wants to do for Ipo, as it has hindered her for the last two and a half years, then it will be very very sad, especially since I will have gotten a grey of my own and she won't have someone like me who was so willing to keep her in my life along with the bird.

 

Send prayers or hopes for the first option. Racheal is a great lady with a tough illness and Ipo is an awesome bird. I just want what is best for them all. I know I can move on. I have a lot of emotional strength and also a lot of patience. I just need a few days to be sad or I won't let myself be sad and store up resentment instead.

[judygram]

Know that we are here for you if you need us but I hope things work out for Ipo for she is the utmost important one at this time.

[crossfit]

Well, mostly the help I can get from the forum would be in helping me find resources for rethinking my plans and trying to decide if I want to rehome a bird or just buy a baby so this won't happen again.

 

As for me and Ipo, I will continue to be friends with Racheal so those relationships will continue - both the human and the avian ones. And just writing has helped me to move forward too.<br><br>Post edited by: crossfit, at: 2009/12/22 04:25

[lovethatgrey]

One of the members of this forum was VERY happy with this breeder. She is in Northern California.

 

http://fofaviary.com/

[raleej337]

so sad on what happened.

 

if youre still looking for a breeder try contacting Bill, he is in Salinas. I've got my CAG from him, here is his email: afgrey123@aol.com or you might want to try Lynn: lynnsbirds.com, she's in san jose. There is another breeder in Watsonville but can't remember the name.

 

goodluck!

[Luvparrots]

Karma to you Adina and Rogie for your help.

[JillyBeanz]

After all that careful preparation too - I thought you had it all well in hand. What a shame. Hopefully Rachael will be able to spend more time with Ipo and realises was a valuable member of the family he is.

 

Good luck looking for a baby - I think you are very prepared for your journey into grey ownership and look forward to hearing your progress xx

[katana600]

Take your time, work through the sadness, it has prepared you for better days. What you have done getting ready for Ipo has opened your heart to the grey world and the right bird is going to be matched to you at the right time, you will just know. Don't hesitate to look at all the opportunities. Even though you were let down in a big way, no one knows how they will feel about something until they live it. When you catch your breath you will see that you are meant to have a grey in your home and your preparations have been a good purpose in your life. I am so sorry for your loss, for the dreams and plans. You will have another grey soon and we will all be here to share your joy.

[danmcq]

I am sorry to hear of the huge let down.

 

The positive side of this. Is you have learned a ton anout greys and also about a mature grey and what rehoming takes.

 

Here in San Jose, http://www.mickaboo.com/our-birds/index.html is the rescue organization to go to. They are huge and have many birds in need of homes. However, they presently do not have any Greys.

 

They have very helpful staff you can call or go visit and they will be more than happy to give you the local breeders they would reccomend.

 

If you need help from me, PM me and I will give you my contact details. I am normally in San Jose working M-F and return home on weekends, except for holidays.

[Greywings]

Tough happening for you but it has given you the chance to have some experience and the former owner found out more about her relationship with Ipo as well. There is always another bird trying to find a home and the right one will need you soon, Mother Nature abhors a vacuum and finds a way to fill that void.

[ecodweeb]

I realize the first try was not successful, but I would very much hope you will try to rehome another Grey in need. You have learned a lot through this experience and that only will help you in the future.

 

But I know that knowledge does not ease the pain you feel.

[crossfit]

Oh you guys are so helpful. It is true - I have learned so much (glances at pile of parrot books sitting next to my computer area). I am starting to feel better. One thing that helps is that Ipo was so clearly wanting to go with Racheal yesterday when Racheal came to pick her up. So I know that Ipo and I will be good friends and also that Ipo is happier.

 

So, I am going to take a few more months to research babies and rescue places. I am going on the trip of a lifetime in February (an ecotour of the Brazilian Amazon) and would prefer to wait to have my new parrot move in until afterwards. With Ipo, she could have easily visited Racheal during that time but with a new parrot I don't want to have a 10 day break with no one who she/he is bonded to around.

 

One question - is there any real behaviour difference between male and female greys? I would think not since it is not mentioned in any of the resources I have and in all the dog and cat resources there is usually a subchapter on the differences.

 

Thanks again to you all. It is amazing how a community, even one that I am new too, can help to heal small wounds.

[ecodweeb]

If you ask me, YES.

 

Girls are far more skiddish, and harder to regain trust. I wouldn't say mine was aggressive when we got her, but she was not afraid to strike you.

 

Compared to the boy (granted, I didn't know how upon immediate adoption) his mean spirited attacks to my hands because Ive "replaced" him are far more violent, and I'd imagine if he was petrified of people and inable to step up to an offered hand like Talula was, he'd be a real bad bleeder.

 

I think female parrots are more often pluckers than males. I have nothing but anecdotal experiences to back that up.

 

However once you win over a female, which seems to be harder to do than a male -- I read that on someone's site but don't recall whose (like Barb Heindrich/Good Bird Inc or similar), they tend to be pretty affectionate. I don't really know that first hand, Talula still clucks when my hands go towards her head.

 

But to say that my boy and my girl are "the same" is like saying that all English speaking countries are the same. It's just inaccurate!

 

I love both my birds, but if I was suggesting one to someone, I'd probably suggest a known male. They may be more playful aggressive, but that's easier to work with than a highly emotionally disgruntled female who makes no indication of what you did wrong or how she perceived it wrong, and starts yanking feathers out until she bleeds (thats the state we got Talula in).

 

Take this with a grain of salt.<br><br>Post edited by: ecodweeb, at: 2009/12/22 21:16

[katana600]

On the differences between male and female African greys, I am afraid I am to inexperienced to know the difference long term. What I do know for sure is that everything happens for a reason, we learn, we love and we pick ourselves up and start fresh. Visiting with individual birds, keeping your heart open and just going with the flow will bring your new bird home. You will know what is right when you see it and you will make the choice when you are ready to do so. We have friends who adopted a baby boy, held him for four days and the mother changed her mind. But, because of that experience, so many people reached out to them that in just a few months, an adoption attorney came to them and said her client had heard, was in a bad situation and wanted them to her her unborn child. They took the chance and have had two decades being parent to a wonderful daughter. It takes strength courage and faith to take the leap. In one moment your preparations and dreams for Ipo changed. In another moment the sun will be brighter and the day will be fresher and you will know the wait and the sadness were created to make you feel joy more deeply than you ever imagined. Stay with the forum, keep us close and share with us your new journey.

[Luvparrots]

My female grey is curious, mischievous, and a little dare devil. She has always been cuddly and the sweetest little lady. I only have a male eclectus to compare her to and he is more cautious and sly.

 

I hope you have a great time in Brazil. Please share this journey with us when you come back on line. You will find the right grey for you when you come home. I can't wait to hear when you find your grey. After all you are now a part of the Grey Family!

[Summerc25]

Hi crossfit-

 

I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you with a rehome. I am sure a baby would be wonderful too but don't totally give up on the rehomes. There are a lot of adult birds that desperately need a home with someone who will love them and take care of them. My baby turned 5 in Sept and I got him in April. I was very lucky that his previous mom did not change her mind. I got very nervous and thought she was going to because she was late bringing him to me and I know she really loved him and just didn't have the time to spend with him. I still keep in touch with her and let her know how Shakazulu is doing and send her photos. If she ever wanted him back though we would have a problem, because this bird adores me and I adore him...lol We actually wrote a contract up when I bought him. In the contract we included a passage that if I ever chose to get rid of him, that she wanted him back. I will never choose to but it was nice to me that she would want him back. Maybe you could do a contract if you chose to try another rehome situation. Good luck and hope you have a new baby soon