Eckobird Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Ecko officially hates me now. He won't even step up for me from out of his cage!! He hates being in his cage so for him not to step up to me to get out of his cage says he hates me more than his cage! When he decides he wants to step up to me getting him back in the cage is a whole different story! I have to bribe him to get back in. I'm a failure parront and I'm so sad. Heres proof of his behavior towards me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rbpittman Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Caiti, you're not a failure, you've just been outsmarted by your grey! He's being territorial when he's on his cage, he knows he's out and needs to be bribed to get back inside, make going back into his cage an exciting thing, something he only gets when he's in there and does a good thing, like going back when he's supposed to. Keep trying, be consistent and you'll be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Caitlin, Ecko does not hate you, he is testing you, asserting his independence, what we have been telling others here when they act the same way. I noticed in the video you were going in to him slowly to have him step up, don't hesitate, just do it, if he goes to bite ball your hand up into a fist and offer the back of your hand. Robin had a good suggestion to get him back into his cage but the main thing here is to be consistent, I think once he finds out you are not backing down and you are not afraid of him he will be fine. Don't take it personally, you have lots of company. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimaysmommy Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Aw Caitlin don't beat yourself up...I absolutely agree with the others here in that he is testing his boundaries. If anything you should take it as a compliment towards your parronting abilities--he's become such a confident little man that he feels strong enough to test his own mommy!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovethatgrey Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Caitlin you are not a failure at all. I do believe that you might need some help with handling Ecko though. Could you give us more detailed info about what has been going on with the both of you. I have noticed that you haven't posted in a bit and was wondering whether everything was ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eckobird Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 Thanks for the tips Judy and Robin. Everything is fine.. school started again for me and I am taking really hard classes so its been taking up all of my time and I can hardly come on here now. I work full time and I am taking night classes so maybe this could have something to do with it by me not being home as much as I use to but maybe not because this behavior started way before school started. It just seems its getting worse because now I can't get him out of the cage, and I can't put him back in the cage. He's still obsessed with Robert and he can handle him fine so when he is here its all good. But he is also going to school and working and we have opposite schedules so I'm usually with him alone. I do make sure he still gets alot of attention and atleast 4 hours out of cage time a day even with our hectic schedules and on weekends he gets out a lot more. He gets lots of forage toys to keep him busy during the times we aren't home and he still eats good so I'm stuck.. I don't know what else to do.<br><br>Post edited by: caitb2007, at: 2009/10/02 03:24 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovethatgrey Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I don't know how old Ecko is but I can't remember Emma being so stubborn and aggressive. He does sound a bit like he's taking advantage of your good naturedness but I also have a feeling that you're being too much of a softie too. Have you thought of getting in touch with a parrot behaviourist in order to discuss the situation and give you concrete tips on dealing with this issue? I'm sorry things are a bit rough right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Caitlin, I think he is also picking up on a high level of stress going on in your life right now and just like children they pick up on that and react to it. You are busy with a full time job and taking classes and are rushing around trying to make enough time for all that and him too. Why don't you take a deep breath when you come home and let some of that stress go before you go interact with Ecko and see if it makes any difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joolesgreyuk Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Caitlyn, you are a great mom, you are just going through a bad patch with Ecko atm. We all go through this, hang in there. I'm sure things will improve and you will figure out what works for you both given time. You are a busy lady, don't beat yourself up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane08 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 They do go through stages, our 2 went through the difficult stage of not wanting to go back in the cage and many times I was late to work because of it. I was also home alone with both of them as my boyfriend travels for work, with Kea who really didn't like me and Rangi who was very stubborn. Let's just say I shed many tears over this period. There is nothing wrong with bribery to get them in the cage. Maybe spend 5-10min just doing exercises with Ecko, like start back with step up and spend 5 min getting him to step up and give him a treats for doing it. Do other exercises that he finds fun and this will have you interacting with him and build your confidence. I did this with both of ours and I couldn't believe the change in them, Kea really started to bond with me even though my boyfriend was the favourite. Rangi started to go back in the cage easily. Just give it time, take a deep breath and realise that you can change this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JillyBeanz Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Caitlin, Harvey is acting the same way towards my husband (who previously Harvey would do anything for). I've told him to keep persisting, but he feels downtrodden too - I hope you don't lose your confidence with Ecko - I know my husband nearly has with Harvey. You can do it - you know you can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiwiandSally Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Their behavior can sometimes be tough I have learned that the hard way. Like you I attend school full time and have a full time job and three kids. I know that sounds crazy but we have a routine which our bird got used, try to do things the same everyday. I read everything on this site and I use it! One thing I have found out is that if I talk to kiwi like a normal person the bad behavior calms down. I also do my homework with her either in the same room or next to her cage.Your not a failure at all they just take a while to come around to our change. Make an effort to have a routine and stick to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 caitb2007 wrote: Ecko officially hates me now. He won't even step up for me from out of his cage!! He hates being in his cage so for him not to step up to me to get out of his cage says he hates me more than his cage! When he decides he wants to step up to me getting him back in the cage is a whole different story! I have to bribe him to get back in. I'm a failure parront and I'm so sad. Caitlin - Ecko does not hate you. He has aged, chosen a favorite and that person is Robert. Watching your video reminded me of how Dayo starting acting towards me when he was 6 to 12 months old. It was all good interacting with my wife, but I was a different story. Please realise it has nothing to do with hate. It is simply who the preferred person is. Ecko stills loves you. I noticed you are using just a single finger....can somebody say ouch!!! I stopped doing that after a few bites. Go slowly, hand fisted, skin drawn tight and only allow him to step up onto the back of your hand. If as you go in approach close you see him starting down to bite, rather than lifting his foot or if he does try to bite. Remove your hand and you tell him no bite. Close the cage door and go about what you need to do. Getting them back in the cage as a flighted bird is an entirely different story. My wife can, I must resort to bribery, trickery using peekaboo or something, but the tricks only work 2 times at best and he won't fall for them. If I know I only have 30 minutes before I need to re-cage him, I never let him out. Because I may not be able to cage him and I don't like toweling him simply because he views the towel as a friend and it makes nail trimming and handling for other things easy. Basically Ecko is maturing and has selected a favored. Just be happy he still interacts with you fine when Robert's around. I am positive he still interacts with you just fine when Robert is not there, but there are just certain things or areas you know he does not. It will take a little experimentation and time, but you will figure out how to change the routine so he does what you want him to. Hang in there, I'll bet you are frazzled with that schedule and your patience is thin as Ice! :-)<br><br>Post edited by: danmcq, at: 2009/10/02 15:50 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eckobird Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 Thank you all so much for your replies. This is exactly why I came here to vent because I knew you all would make me feel better and give me some really good advice. I am going to do everything you guys just mentioned. One thing I did notice about him today is his feathers are falling out.. Robert was petting him and a couple of his grey feathers fell out and his cage is full of down feathers. I think he is molting and this could also be one of the reasons why he is being so aggressive towards me. Wow I just noticed that today is October 2nd.. that makes him 8 months old today!! Here he is last night after his bath. <br><br>Post edited by: caitb2007, at: 2009/10/02 16:08 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cf737 Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 Oh Caitlin I know how you feel with the stress of school and work and it definitely makes things interesting. You might be right about his aggressive behaviour being due partially to Ecko molting. Darwin began her first molt at about 8 months too and is still going through that. The feathers that come in are just beautiful though. Hang in there Caitlin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JungleDreamz Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Oh I am so Sorry Caitlin, I didnt see this post sooner, I havnt been on since you posted it or I would have replied sooner! You are not a bad parront at ALL, Everyone has given you great advice, Everything I would have said, lol...Espeacilly with the getting him out with one finger slowly, lol...I go through that with my Quaker sometimes, He is very territorial of his cage, So I just started swooping him up with my had while saying "step up" even though he didnt have a choice, haha, And if he tries to bite me while he is on me, I just "earth quake" him and he stops... Then I walk away from his cage and everything is fine... But yeah, Hang in there...I know you are GREAT to him, You havnt done ANYTHING wrong...Just look at that great cage with all those fun toys in it! Keep us posted...Things will get better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betta246 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Hi, although i aint got a african grey, my previous experience with budgies may be of use. Hands should not be in thier cage as its thier territory and also, when and if they do bite, ignore them if you can Nice cage by the way, good selection of toys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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