Big_Squishy

I know what you said it means but I want to know what FairY looked up? that is what I was getting at lol. JC

Wait so where did you look up PMSL? In the JudyGram book of abreviations? LOL I wonder what it means as well? JC

Well now that we got that out in the open. LOl Thank you all for your inputs. PMSL JC

Hello and Welcome Michael, it looks like you are starting off on the right foot. Done your homework and now moved on to advanced study. The real fun is yet to come and when you do bring your new flock member home all of the home work you did will pay off. I am newly greyed and felt at first that nothing I researched applied to my lil guy when I got him home. It did it does and it will, but this is the place to be. The more prepared you are the easier your lil guy will adjust but keep doing what you are doing and ask lots of questions all will be answered as I am proof that there is not such thing as a stupid question here. I may even be able to answer a question and I would owe it all to the wonderful people here and my lil BoBo. Welcome again and hope to see you around. JC

I don't know but I see it everywhere thought it was one of those LOL, LMAO or LTPMS or how ever Judy puts it. Thanks for telling me my puter is broken lol. JC

What does NBSP mean? I see it all over in peoples profiles and I just don't get it. I bet it is something I will feel dumb about when I get the answer butsome one help me out. lol JC

Welcome back and I hope you are able to continue visiting here. you seem to have your hands full with animals but I guess if I was able and had the proper enviorment I would have alot of animals as well. Hope to see you logged in soon. JC

Welcome Steven and Poppy! Even thought I am still pretty new to the forums I have made it a point to use this as my primarary source of information raising my 4 month old CAG. You have come to the right place and you will gain many facts and hear alot of opinions based on peoples personal experiance. Best of both worlds in my book. Hope to see you on here, and I am sure you find the answers you are looking for. JC<br><br>Post edited by: Big_Squishy, at: 2008/06/20 19:50

So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor - I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for 5 minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's fowl mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!". But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you!" and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush. At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets_very_quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on.". The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, pardon me for asking, but what did the chicken do?".

A drunk is driving with his parrot through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?" "I've been to the pub," slurs the parrot and the drunk smiles. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few." "He did all right," the parrot says and the drunk smiles. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the parrot. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

A man went into a bar and said to the bartender, "If you give me free drinks all night, I will entertain your customers so much they will stay all night and drink lots and lots." "Oh yes," says the bartender. "How are you going to do that?" The man gets a hamster out of his pocket and puts it on the piano. The hamster runs up and down the keyboard playing the greatest piano music anyone had ever heard. "That's incredible!" says the bartender. "Have you got anything else?" The man gets a parrot out of his other pocket and puts it on the bar. The hamster begins to play the piano again and the parrot sings along - sounding just like Pavarotti. Everyone in the bar is amazed and stayed all night drinking and listening to the hamster and parrot. The bartender is delighted. "I must have these animals. Will you sell them to me?" he asks. The man shook his head no. "Will you sell just one then?" asks the bartender. "OK, I'll sell you the parrot for $100" the man says. The bartender is delighted and hands over the money. Another man standing next to the man who owned the hamster said, "You're a bit stupid selling that clever parrot for only $100". "No I'm not," the man replied. "The hamster is a ventriloquist"!!!

A lady is walking down the street to work and sees a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn't say it again. The next day, when the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused, scowled with an icy and deadly stare, and said with a hoarse voice, "Yes?" The bird, strutting back and forth on its perch in a cocky manner, said, "You know."

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the fine bird was finally his! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Don't worry", said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house." The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her." The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her thank you notes. "She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway." "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks." "Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same." "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

Polynesia: Memory loss in parrots. Chirpes: A canarial disease...no tweetment.

A postal carrier is working on a new beat. He comes to a garden gate marked BEWARE OF THE PARROT! He looks down the garden and, sure enough, there's a parrot sitting on its perch. He has a little chuckle to himself at the sign and the parrot there on its perch. The mailman opens the gate and walks into the garden. He gets as far as the parrot's perch, when suddenly, it calls out: "REX, ATTACK!"

First off I just thought a good laugh here and there could not hurt. I do try to keep them clean although some of them might be sugestive at worst. Instead of me posting a new thread for each I will just post under this one. Maybe if it is popular enough and other wish to post as well the Admins might drop in a humor section. LOl Who know. I love it here and until I know enough about greys to make a serious contrabution I will contribute with attempts to bring a smile to your faces or a laugh in your day. FYI if you haven't figured it out already I don't always spell things as they should be. But if you can read it well enough to know that it is spelled wrong then you got the idea anyways. Very Respectfully, JC aka Big_Squishy

A golfer took a vacation in Florida. He was a big bettor and always had at least $500 riding on each round. He asked at the pro shop if there was anyone around who liked a little competition, and the pro introduced him to a man named Joe. "Is Joe a good golfer?" the man asked when Joe left to get his clubs. "He doesn’t look that good but he always seems to win his matches," the pro replied. The man met Joe on the first tee, and they agreed to play for $500. On the first tee, Joe hooked his drive into the water, and the vacationer won the hole. On the next hole, Joe topped his drive and then shanked his second shot into the trees. The man won that hole, too. On the next tee Joe took off his hat and scratched his head. When he did that, a big parrot flew up and lighted in a nearby tree. "Want to double the bet?" Joe asked. "Sure," the vacationer said, already counting his winnings as he stepped up to the tee. On the top of his back swing, the parrot made a noise like a train whistle, and the vacationer wiffed the ball and lost the hole. On the next hole, which required a second shot over a pond, the vacationer selected his iron when the parrot said, "Five iron’s too much." The player changed to a six and hit it into the water. While the man was putting on one hole, the parrot said, "It breaks to the left," but the putt broke right. The man missed it to go three down. By the 18th hole, the vacationer was ten down to Joe and glaring at the bird. "What do I need to do to get rid of that lousy parrot?" he said to nobody in particular. "Just pay me $100 more than Joe does," the bird said.

This guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So, he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box for a house. He took the box back home, found a good location for it, and decided he would start by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink. So the man asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to Frank’s with me and have a beer?” But there was no answer from his new pet. The man waited a few minutes and, desperate for a response, he asked the centipede again, “How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?” But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more. The man decided to ask the centipede one more time, this time pressing his face against the centipede’s house and shouting, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank’s place and have a drink with me?” Finally, came a little voice from inside the box, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my freaking shoes!”

The madam of a brothel has a problem, so she goes to a local priest. "I have two talking female parrots," she tells him. "All they can say is ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’" "That’s awful," the priest agrees, "but I have a solution to your problem. I have two male parrots whom I’ve taught to pray and read the Bible. If we put your parrots with mine, I believe yours will stop saying that awful phrase and will instead learn to recite the word of God." The next day, the madame brings her parrots to the priest’s house and puts them in with the male parrots, who are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. "Hi, we’re prostitutes." say the females. "Do you want to have some fun?" One male parrot looks at the other and squawks, "Close the Bible, Frank! Our prayers are answered!"

While robbing a home, a burglar hears someone say, “Jesus is watching you.” To his relief, he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something it had heard. The burglar asks the parrot, “What’s your name?” The parrot says, “Moses.” The burglar goes on to ask, “What kind of a person names their parrot Moses?” The parrot replies, “The same kind of person that names his Rottweiler Jesus.”

Well if my bathroom smells too feminine then I must be walking into the wrong apartment. Never be accused of that but I will take that as a complement. lol. BoBo should like the color is all black grey and white. Will take him with me to a bed bath and beyond and have him help me re-decorate. Thanks for the heads up Dave JC

I have see the same things in BoBo my 4 month old CAG. Funny thing is I can get him to copy me. I shake my head and he will copy . No matter when it is. I have checked him all over. his nose holes are clear and clean, his beak is clean, his breathing is calm and relaxed with a good apatite. I also have noitced he will fluff up when I talk to him especially when I whistle a new way or a little louder than I intended. After he fluffs he will shake his head. Seems to be the general opinion that is is nothing to worry about with out secondary indications or symtoms , or being completely excessive. JC

Ok so I have read through all of the post about baths/showers. I see that there are a good many ways in which people acclimate their beloved birds to a much needed daily or frequent event. I have purchased one of those pvc pipe suction cup mounted shower perches. I have been bringing BoBo into the bath room on a regular basis. He watches me shower. I act the fool just to keep him interested. I have moved his perch a little closer to the shower head every day. I can tell that BoBo does not like it the bathroom. I see it in his stance and the way he is constantly moving around looking for a way out. Even though not a popular idea with him ,BoBo gets his shower no matter what. I have also tried filling the bottom of the bath tub with about 1/2 inch of luke warm water (sometimes cooler on hot days). this puts the depth to about 1 1/2 inches in the front of that tub. I move my suction cup perch down low so that BoBo's feet are just above the water. BoBo freaks out when I try to coax him into the water. I have tried the large punch bowl, one that is heavy enough where he can stand on the sides without tipping it over. BoBo just will not cooperate. So I add the spray bottle filled with warm water. ( this makes the mist not so cold but is still cool enough to be refreshing.). BoBo does not like to be misted from above or below. He will only allow me to spray a slow soft stream of water into his mouth where he will drink continuesly. So with all of this I do not know where I am going wrong in getting him to even tolerate the showers or bath. I am sure patience and time will work it magic, but until that happens patience and time are not going to keep him healthy and clean. After work today I am going to buy some of that fish tank air tube find a sink adapter of some sort and hook them up. I figure if I can keep the noise of the sink or shower away and use this little tube to softly wet him down it might be my only choice for now. I figure with this I can turn it down low enough to be able to brush back his feathers and get some of the watter directly on his skin. If you have some other sugestions for me I would apreciate it. If this little tube setup works I will post what to get and where you can get it and for about how much. Thank you all again and again for answeing my questions and chatting with me when we happen to be online at the same time. JC

Welcome Jody, I will have to say you came to the right place. If someone here does not know somthing about a question you have, there is either no answer to it or they have not logged on to post yet. This wonderful group of people are very patient and know much more than i have found in any book. I know only as much as I have read and what I have seen in my home the last month. Welcome again hope to see ya in here. JC