@neoow You said "If/when you get another cat/pet I don't think you ever 'replace' the pet that you lost. You will still have all the memories and you will still have the hole that they left behind."
I am old enough to have been through too many pet deaths, esp ones that reached old ages and with whom I had significantly important bonds. But I do agree with you. Each new pet is an individual, not a replacement -- my earlier posts came out of my deep grief of losing a beloved pet so young (and 12 IS young) and Zuri was special to me. At age 12, I felt I failed her somehow. Grief and guilt is a bad combo even though I know I provided good care, safe home, vet visits and did all I could for her.
I truly believe adopting another pet is paying an homage to a previous pet -- to basically say that having had such a wonderful pet I never want to be without one again. It IS the love enjoyed and the joy of providing care that makes us want to adopt another -- because the previous pet WAS so wonderful and great. To say "no more" (as my Mom has done) is almost an insult, like "I had a pet and now I never want another." What message does that send to previously loved and lost pet? So sad really. Something wonderful in your life makes you want MORE, not less.
So, my new cats are tributes to those who RB'd -- that having had some amazing pets, I will also pay homage to them by getting more because the original pets 'hooked' me on the pure love and joy of having had past pets.
Meant to quote and comment sooner, was just sad before -- but you are SO right. And my new kittens ARE new, they are not the same, not replacements - they are a new adventure.