Need Your Advice - long

[rbpittman]

Hello all!

 

Everyone here has such great advice and wonderful experience to draw upon, and I would like to tap this well for some before making a mistake.

 

I have Dixie, a 16 month old Grey that is absolutely adorable and is fitting in wonderfully in our family. I also have a 12 year old son (13 in July). My husband loves to watch and be part of the interaction with Dixie as does my son. My son (LP) is now wanting his own Grey for his birthday - and luck be on us - there is a baby (10 weeks) available. Of course the baby is too young to come home yet - still on 2 hand feedings daily but would be of appropriate age right about the time for my son's birthday.

 

Yesterday I took LP to visit the baby and he was able to hold the baby for a few minutes. If we were to decide to get the baby, daily trips to visit and bond and become involved in daily chores would be necessary and appropriate. My son and husband are up to the challenge, as am I. So here are the questions:

 

1. While my son is a very responsible young man, he is gifted and talented in many areas, he is also busy with outside activities. (Band, baseball, Boy Scouts). I know the majority of the care would fall on me and I'm up to the challenge. Is it good to consider a bird for my son at this age?

 

2. LP understands that the main area for the baby would be in my office with Dixie, where someone is there most of the time. (I'm a full time student, stay at home mom). We have a playstand set up in the living room for when we are there in the evening to watch TV. LP wants a sleeping cage in his room for his baby. Is this a reasonable set up?

 

3. Would a separate cage be the best plan for the new baby (Dixie's is quite large) or can you home two birds in one cage?

 

4. If a new cage would be the best answer (which I believe it would be), does anyone have advice on the very large dividable cages for the two birds?

 

5. What would be the best way to introduce the baby to Dixie and are there specific things to look out for?

 

6. Would a different type of bird be better?

 

Dixie is a joy for everyone in my family. She destresses all of us for some reason, but she has made a major impact on my son. I said earlier, he is gifted and talented, 1st in his class (just promoted to 8th grade) Brass Captain at the high school marching band (not yet in high school), Junior Beta President, and plays third base for his ball team (this lasts until the end of this month). He just made Star Scout in Boy Scouts and has his sites set on making Eagle by age 15. In fact he already has his Eagle project designed, planned and approved (he will be building blue bird houses for our community). Dixie's influence on LP is that she keeps him from being hyper, he knows he cannot jump, get loud, or move around quickly when he is in my office or if Dixie is in the living room on her playstand, so "the appropriate place and time" have finally sunk in!

 

I'm sorry this post is so long, but I welcome your input on this before we make a decision or being too in love with this new baby.

 

--

Robin

[Char]

1. My opinion on this is that as you say your son will be involved in a lot of activities even more so as he gets older. Greys have a reputation for bonding to one person.It is likely the grey will bond to someone else in the family rather than your son. If the grey is spending a lot of time in your office and you are providing most of the care it will probably be you. Thus defeating the purpose of getting him his own bird.

 

2. The sleeping cage in your son's room is only feasible if the bird can get 10-12 hrs sleep in there. If your son has even the slightest allergies then the bedroom would be the worst place to keep a dusty bird.

 

3. Separate cages are an absolute must. I have looked at the devided cages before and I was still worried about one bird still being able to get the toes of the other on. I am probably over cautious on this.

 

4. Someone else can probably answer this one better than me.

 

5. Sometimes greys tend to do better with anothe type of bird than with another grey. Competition thing. But there are exception and members here who have more than one grey.<br><br>Post edited by: Char, at: 2009/06/11 15:02

[rbpittman]

Thanks Char, I had some of the same concerns, the biggest one being the baby bonding with me over my son. Dixie is obviously more bonded with me than any one else in the house, but she socializes with everyone. My son has also considered this as well, and his argument was to put the new baby's cage in the living room, and this may where I went wrong with his plan, then he would be the one with the baby more than me. I was concerned about leaving the baby away from interactin for the biggest part of daylight.

 

My son's allergies are to things that are green, so the dogs and the birds have not posed a problem. My son is the type to go to bed no later than 10:00 and sleep until 1:00 the next day if he could by with it - he loves his beauty sleep...lol. The darkness for 10-12 hours would not be a problem, if the sleeping cage were in his room.

 

I know what my son wants, and I'm afraid he's not going to get it with a Grey, even if he and the baby bonded. He wants something that is going to interact with him and cuddle and be part of. Dixie is a great talker, and does play on the floor with him - blocks and other small toys - but she doesn't step up for him or cuddle. Even with me, her cuddling is on her terms and I understand that, but I know her background, and I'm not sure that starting with a baby would be any different for very long. They do grow up and start to show their independence, just like my son does to me...lol...no more kisses in front of his friends.

 

He takes care of the three Pug dogs we have, walking daily, cleaning up after, feeding and brushing, so even though he has a busy schedule, he knows that pets are a major responsibility, and he gives up "free" time to take care of them. Scouts is one night a week, with a once a month campout, band would be Friday nights and the occasional Saturday competition. Marching season is from September through October. Baseball - we're winding down from that and I'm not sure he will play next year - different age group and different type of league.<br><br>Post edited by: rbpittman, at: 2009/06/11 15:17

[danmcq]

Char gave GreYt responses.

 

This is a very tough question as a whole. Your Son sounds like a very responsible and all around wholesome young soon to be teen with a ton of activities.

 

Only you and husband can make such large decisions based upon your willingness to take on the responsibility for this new Grey perhaps completely in time.

 

I young person always wants things, gets them and then looses interest after a while. That could or could not end up happening, but it's likely as life happens, personalities change with age, activities and friends.

 

I would recommend getting a separate cage as Char did.

 

The bird would need to be in the "Office" with you and the other Grey during the day. As a baby, it is going to need and want a lot of attention. It is possible Dixie will fill in some of this, but you just never know.

 

Greys for the most part stick to themselves as a species, unlike Conures for example. A different type of Parrot may want to be friends with Dixie, but it is highly probable that Dixie will not.

 

Another consideration also, is that you've only had Dixie for maybe 2 months or a little longer and the bonding and trust process is still taking place.

 

I wish you good luck in making the decision only you can ultimately make. :-)

[rbpittman]

We're not taking this decision lightly, I guess that's why I wanted "experienced" opinions. I know my son, and I know how kids are - I have three older ones who are already out of the house, so being interested in other things and them taking over is a major possibility. Then there's the aspect of once out of school, his going to college and will probably follow his dream of going into the Air Force to fly jets (God help me on that one), so the bird will eventually become mine.

 

I've already considered the long term in getting Dixie, within a week of her coming home we added to our wills that would provide for Dixie. In 15 days I'll be another year old.

 

What I didn't consider is that I've only had Dixie for 2 months now, and the emotional aspect of bringing another baby home, and how it might affect her. Thank you for pointing that out. I guess my thought process wasn't as complete as it should have been. Dixie has been such a joy in our lives, and I know I could provide a good home, but I don't want to do something to harm her in any way. Dixie does trust me, but she's still building that trust with my husband and son. Maybe that's why LP want's his own Grey, and maybe we should wait until there's been more time for that to happen.

 

Thanks for the input. I would hate to make a mistake that would harm either Dixie, the baby, or my son.

[Christina]

I think you have received excellent advice. My son (14) also wanted a bird. We fostered one for a while and had an arrangement much like you are speaking of...it didn't take long and he grew wary of the constant attention that the little bird needed and the mess she made and shirts she chewed through. He liked all the attention when he wanted it, but when he didn't have time, it was annoying to him. He also is a very good boy and gets fabulous grades and loves animals. It worked out well fostering, because someone eventually wanted little Tookie and he had no problem letting her go. This from a young man who all but begged for us to get him his own bird. I know all situations are different, but at this age, it is hard, especially with a busy schedule, which will fill up even more with young ladies as they get into high school, to make a commitment that a bird needs. Some kids can do it, you can make that determination, just thought I'd share my experience.

[rbpittman]

Thanks for the reply Christina, and the experience you shared is the one I'm afraid of, and I guess why I wanted someone from outside my home to confirm for me. We have about 6 weeks before we would be able to bring this baby home, so we have plenty of time to make an "educated" decision, but at this point, I'm leaning more toward no than to yes on this adventure. In a few more months, and he's still harping, and has gotten involved more with Dixie then I might entertain the idea again.