doubletefarm Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 For those of you that followed it, I have Sydney, a 2 y/o rehomed CAG that was in need of a new home because he was shriek/scream at his moms fiance, and then started shrieking at her. I've had him I think 3 weeks. I've been opening his cage, letting him out for as much time as possible, minimum of 2 hours. I've got lots of toys for him, feed him pellets plus fresh veggies/fruit, and treats. I felt like i was bribing him. He did get to the point that when I opened the cage he'd come right out. And was talking up a storm. Well yesterday I had opened his cage, he was out for about 2.5 hours. The normal way that I get him in the cage is to open a side door, put some treats in his dish and wait for him to crawl in. He had been doing it. Yesterday he didn't want to, and I took a perch that he isn't very familiar with (he dislikes NATURAL wood I'm not sure why), and asked him to step up from the cage door. He flew off the door and landed on the floor (clipped wings still). He stepped up on the perch from the floor and I put him in the cage. No problems. Later I let him out again. After about an hour I needed to leave the room and cant leave him out because of the cats. So I was impatient and got the perch again. Thinking it would go as it did earlier. It did NOT. He started screaming, and growling. And trying to fly everywhere on his cage. He was so upset. I finally got him in the cage, but not without severe hysterics. When i came back about 20 mins later he was still upset with me and screamed like he did at his old mom. I sat near his cage, which he would only let me do if I crawled. I apologized up and down and explained that I really didn't mean to scare him and would never hurt him and please forgive me. If I walked directly to it he would scream. It was late enough to put him to bed, so I said good night and hoped he'd wake up less upset with me. Today has been no better. He won't come down off his sleeping perch, won't come out of the cage which I've had open several times today. He has taken a few treats, but only if I crawl over to the cage and wait for him to chirp (his sign that he's ok with it) after I've asked him if he wants a treat. Most of the time he is screaming at me if I am near the cage or look like I am coming near the cage. I hid the horrible perch that I used yesterday because if he even saw me pick it up he'd scream. I'm so upset. Did I ruin the headway I had made???? He's only said a few words today, as opposed to normally chattering up a storm. It's brought me to tears. Did I ruin the relationship we were building???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 """"I'm so upset. Did I ruin the headway I had made???? """" Yes you have but not all is lost, you will just have to gain his trust again and that won't be easy, it will take a lot of time. Continue to open his cage to allow him to come out if he wants but if he doesn't then don't force it, he needs to learn that you can be trusted again but it will take a long time. He may sulk for a while, some do and some don't, continue to talk to him softly and offer treats and if he indicates to you he doesn't want you getting too close then back off and give him some space. You have certainly brought to a halt the headway you were making but you can build that relationship up again, it just takes some hard work. Others will have some more ideas and suggestions for you too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubletefarm Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 He's saying more than hello right now, but still from on top of his sleeping perch. At least he is saying more now. It's so disappointing. I knew better too. Ive trained wild mustangs- I know about trust and how hard it is to get it back. Three weeks of trust building down the drain. Heartbreaking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 doubletefarm, don't despair. Think about what happened and don't do it again. Start over as if it was day one. Don't be upset in front of Sydney, he will know. Start again. I have rescued an Eclectus, he is a biter and shrieker, among other things. On the first day he shrieked and I sang. Don't ask why he became quiet. For the first couple of days if he shrieked I sang. He has not shrieked for two days. Whether it is my bad singing voice or the cadence of my voice I don't know but it seems to calm Sully. Don't give up, whatever you did to get Sydney to trust you before, do it again and don't give up!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Well just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on and build that trust up again, like I said all is not lost. Sometimes we have to take a step back before we can step forward but one day you will look back on this and laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubletefarm Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Problem is, when I first got him he was more trusting of me than he is even right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tycos_mom Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 It happens do not show signs of being upset keep doing thing the same way you've always done them like nothing has change.don't get emotional be happy around him. When you aprouch his cage don't look at him straight on look at him with one eye or lower your head also when you approch his cage com in from the side or zig zag you want to show him your not a bad person and that you still want to be friends just talk to him sing to him and go slow if you half to put your hands behind your back eventually he will see that you are the same person you've always been and forgive you. Grey's are empaths and can sence your feelings so if you feeling upset about this then he may think something is really wrong so you have to be happy and do everything like this never happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubletefarm Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 I'm so heartbroken. :unsure: He won't even come talk to me at the cage door. Won't come out at all. From what I've read, I need to pretend this didn't happen and not let him see I'm upset right? I've found with other animals (horses, cats), they want to comfort you when you're crying. But it seems that he may think he either caused it or that there is something dangerous that is causing it and therefore he should be worried? Correct? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tycos_mom Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Thats about it you have to pull yourself together and be happy for the sake of your relationship don't change your behaviour and he might just forget this ever happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Pat and Judy gave good advice. Act normally and don't crawl. He either needs to let you approach normally or he doesn't get fed. You must be able to do so eveyday as you know. It's going to be pots of time and patience required, Next time, perhaps don't get too aggressive at chasing him around or cornering him to get a step up to the perch. It will take longer, but it can be done over more time before he gives up on his own and finally just steps up so you can take him back with out any drama. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tycos_mom Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Like Dan said next time instead of chasing the bird around let the bird stay where he is and take the cat and put him in a different room and shut the door that way you don't have to worry about leaving the room for a few momemts and the cat won't hold it against you. I wouldn't worry to much he's may be just sulking for a few days because you made him go back when he didn't want to The last time I took my 6 year old to the vet she didn't talk to me for three days She's a rescue and I thought for sure that she didn't love me anymore and that our relationship was over every time I went near her she turned her back and went to the back of her cage. But within three days she was fine again. She was just really mad at me and wanted to let me know in her own way that she din't like that at all. Mabie that what your bird is doing also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubletefarm Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 Well good news... No squawking today (yet).. Opened the cage (didn't get home as early as usual), and he came right out within a few minutes. Took a grape from me, and treats. He made a miscalculation with his playing and flopped off the cage, so was waiting patiently for me to come get him under his cage. Stepped up and I did not put him back in the cage, but set him on his door so he could choose what he wanted to do, and then gave him a treat. So patience patience patience patience.....I bet if my cats could talk they'd be saying "hahaha.... she thought WE ran her life... this bird has her jumping AND saying how high" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Thats wonderful news to hear!! :-) LOL @ the "If cats could talk". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubletefarm Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 He's back out again, staring at himself in his reflection in the tv because the sun is shining on it and it is off. I do believe he finds it entertaining. He's still "shaking" when I walk over to him, much more so than "normal", but I'd say he's close to forgiving me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tycos_mom Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 I'm so glad I know what its like they can be so stubborn when their peeved at you like I said Tyco stayed mad for 3 days I thought I was totally back to square one but within 3 days she forgave me I guess she figured it was more fun to be with me than not too. Mabie thats what your thinks also. I;m glad things are getting better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 I am so happy for you doubletefarm. Now take it easy and Sydney will come around! Patience and love will go a long way with our intelligent companions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
she Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Thats brilliant.Just take it slow and I am sure all will be ok.Sometimes they can sulk,but it looks like you are back on track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubletefarm Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 I think we are back on track but now we have a very long negotiation on going back in the cage. Which limits the times I can let him out. If I know I only have an hour or less that I can let him out for at that time, I'm afraid to let him come out in case it takes too long to get him back. Last night I opened it early in the evening and just left it open till he decided it was time to go to bed. But during the day I don't have that luxury. Boy is Sydney testing me. I adore him, and it's a good thing because he's TOUGH! I'm a little jealous of everyone with their sweet kids, I don't think he's sweet natured. I hope he gets to like me. I figure if it takes him a year that's ok.. we have quite a few together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tycos_mom Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 It usualy takes around 7 to 8 months to really start trusting and loving you. I've noticed that with the birds that I have rescued that to be the case Others may have different expierance but with me that seems to be when they turn the corner I've rescued 4 birds and that the time frame it took with all of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyric Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 It was a learning experience for you, it sounds like you are back on track and slowly winning back his trust. Next time you get frustrated trying to get him back inside the cage, walk away, take a few deep breaths and calm your energy. Find something the bird likes to look at and bribe him with that while you get him back inside the cage. You will eventually learn the tricks to dealing with every situation. It takes time but it will be worth it in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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