My Bird Hates Me

[Dually]

I recently aquired an African Grey. I was told she had been DNA sexed as a female. I know I was taking a chance that she would bond with me, her being female and me being female as well. Also, she was raised by a male and her second owner was a male. I spent several days emailing back and forth asking questions about her before I went to meet her. When I did finally go see her to see if we would get along, she was wonderful! She came right to me from her owner's hand, stayed with me, let me play with her etc. When I got her home and she realized there where men in the household, my husband and 2 sons, she completely disregarded me and will only let my husband and sons pet her. She's even drawn blood on me lately when I try to get her to step up on my arm. I've had large birds before. I owned a blue and gold macaw for 18yrs until I lost him to a house fire 3 yrs ago. I was able to get him out of the house but the smoke had already done its damage and I lost him to pnemonia. Anyway, is there anything I can do to get this bird to accept me as well as she does the guys? It's just a shock at the difference in how she acted when I went to see her and how she is now. HELP!

[Tycos_mom]

Its going to take some work on your part and by the way it isn't true that females bond to men and male bond to females I have to females and both are bonded to me. and there are many members here that are females that have husbands and the birds are female and are bonded to the female. I was told that my bird was a mans bird when I got her and she is torally my bird now.she s new to your home she only doing what she knows. use a perch to step her up and take her to a nutural place away from her cage and spend time with her teach her new thing an give her treats She will soon understand that you are the peson she wants to be with why don't you try some clicker training that may help her to bond to you.

[lovethatgrey]

I know you must feel bummed about this situation but there is a chance that she may never interact with you the way she initially did. Sounds like she clearly has a preference towards the male gender. All I can advise is that right now she needs acceptance, patience, respect, gentleness and alot of time from you. I would just take a step back and behave like I am meeting her for the very first time. She's just gone through another traumatic life change by moving in with you. She needs an adaptation period and lots of understanding. Perhaps you can hang out around her without touching her for a few days or weeks so that she can see that you're harmless. Try reading aloud and and singing to her. Let her watch you go about your usual business. When you do approach her talk softly, do not use any abrupt movements, be the one to offer her favourite treats.. etc. Take it slow.

 

Are you willing to do what it takes to make her comfortable around you and to accept that she might always have an affinity towards your husband and sons in spite of all of your efforts? If yes. then I wouldn't be surprised if in time she comes around. Goodluck!{Feel-good-00020114}<br><br>Post edited by: lovethatgrey, at: 2009/05/13 02:49

[Jane08]

Don't feel discouraged, our female bonded to my boyfriend and she hated me and I am sure she plotted ways to get me out of the house. She would bite anytime I came near her and I was so upset about it all.

 

So I came up with a strategy to win her over....Bribery....this seriously works. At first I just started by not touching her or asking anything of her just going up to her at different times and giving her treats. I did this for awhile and then started to ask more from her to place her foot on my hand and she would get a treat. It took me months and months to gain her trust with baby steps.

 

Now she is the most gentle loving girl that I could ever wish for. She comes to me willingly, steps up for me, lets me know when she wants me, sometimes she even lets me rub her head. I also train her and she loves it. This has really brought us closer together.

 

Of course I don't have the same relationship that my boyfriend does with her but I am happy that the biting stopped and I can see she likes me and we interact and have fun together.

 

The best part of the day is when she sits on my hand and we both watch life pass by outside the window and I tell her what all the things are that she can see. We can sit there for ages just gazing out and talking.

[danmcq]

Welcome Dually!!!

 

It's GreYt having you here. :-)

 

The others have all given really good advice and comments on a rehomed greys behaviour.

 

The good news is she is obviously very well socialized, therefore the interactions with strangers comes easy for her as you encountered when first meeting her.

 

She is in a strange home, strange items around her and now right in the middle of a strange flock. She is by nature going to seek the the closest initial companionship to her previous owner, which was male.

 

This will will take a little time for her to feel safe and secure, but it will happen.

 

Looking forward to hearing more as she progresses and seeing some photos when you get a chance. :-)

[sandra902]

for a long time merlin thought i was the devil's daughter but slowly (ever-so slowly!) we have been making our agreements as we go along.

 

we sure do like each other but he LOVES big daddy and there you go. we are so very glad he is capable of that sort of bond, he was a bit of a mess when he came to us.

 

i guess my advice to you is to put your own expectations aside for now and enjoy each day as your birdy gets to know you. you'll find a lot of successes to celebrate that way.

 

keep us posted!

[myafricanqueen]

Thats too bad Dually. But, dont take it personally.

Stick with slowly trying to win her over and hopefully she will gradually get better with you.

You never know what situations she was placed in before you got her and cant fully understand what you dont about her past and now current fears.

 

Good luck and keep the patience.

 

Cristen