Trust

[Poppy163]

I have taken Poppy from my mom since he hasn't been the same since she hit him. She was cleaning his cage and scared him and he bit her lip. Her response was to hit him. I see this as a bad move and now he won't come to her or me at all anymore. Mom had lived with me for 3 years and poppy had taken a very big likeing to me. I have read the book "For the love of gray's" and see myself as the Alpha to Poppy. He has been this way for the past 2 years now. This all transpired whan my mom moved in to my brothers house. Every time I went to visit Poppy would get very excited as soon as he heard my voice so I allways showed him I cared by visiting with him also. When he talks he allways mocks my voice and voice pitches. I have brought him to my house and have been training him on animal sounds and phrases. He has picked up very good and learned more in less than 1 month than he has in the past 2 years. The family is now excited again now knowing he was meant to be with me. I love this bird very much and want him to love me back. I have also been able to teach him half of the phrases that Einstein will do but just not in front of me..

 

I have 2 problems.....

 

1. He will not step up on my hand anymore since the incident. This did not have anything to do with me. He only trusted 3 family members since he has been with us. The basket in the picture is the only way he will come out of his cage. If he jumps to the floor he won't let me pick him up anymore. He does not trust humans now. He will go to the basket or try to go to the cage. Also they would use a towel to cover him to pick him up as he hated this very much but the only way to get him (also caused by the incident).

 

Should I force him to come to me then hold him close to me to show him love or will this terrify him further. I don't want to harm him anymore than he has been in the past. Please Help

 

2. He will talk like crazy around my wife and daughter but when he hears my voice he stops. I believe he is allways in listening mode when I speak because I am him trainer. I can see it in his head movements that he is paying close attention to me. He duplicates allmost everything I teach him. When he is around me he chirps and whistles. I have taught him many whistling sounds, phrases and animal sounds. Will I ever get him to talk to me or is because he is mocking my behavior? This is not new this has been this way for a long time.<br><br>Post edited by: Poppy163, at: 2009/03/23 00:57

[Talon]

Wow! Poor Poppy, seems as though he has been through quite an ordeal. His trust of humans seems to be broken. You can get it back, but it will be a very long time of doing many things to gain that trust. It won't happen for quite a while, and then it will be only small steps at a time.

Knowing more of his history can help others give you better advice. How old is he? Who owned the bird, and how long has he been with you and you alone. How many homes has he had?

 

Being traumatized by a human takes a long time to get over, and then some birds don't get over it ever. You will have to be very patient in trying to build trust with him again.

 

Never force yourself on him! That won't work, it will only make things worse. Offer him treats and soft kind words every time you bring your hand to him, this is a start. Others will have more advice once we get a bit of history......:huh:

[judygram]

Yes you will have to work on building trust and I think in time he may come to trust you again, just be patient with him as he has been thru a very traumatic experience at least to him it is.

 

Do not force anything on him, he will only interpret that as aggression, respect his space and if he wants to be left alone then don't bother him.

 

Since he views you as "head" of the flock he seems to not want to talk in front of you and he is studying what you are saying so he can repeat it later.

 

We do have several members here who are very knowledgeable about the greys and they may have more advice than I can offer but if you will share some more information about Poppy it will help in providing some answers for you.

[Poppy163]

Poppy is 5 years old. Lived one year with my sister at first, then was handed down to my mom. My mother was caring for him and the bird was very loving at the time. My mother decided to move in with my brother due to a quieter house and that is when the incident happened. I was asked to take him since he took to me very well. He is now back in the same room as before in my home. I have taught Poppy so many things in such a short time,I can tell he really missed being around me. My mother and sister are also shocked on fast he started to respond to my caring for him. He did more in the first month being with me than in the previous 2 years. He has now been with me for two months now and I plan on keeping him with me forever now.

[judygram]

So he has kind of been passed around a little and that is affecting him too, he has only been with you 2 months and I think he will need more time to trust again so be patient. You are the one who he has responded to the best and you will gain his trust if you go at his pace, he will let you know when he is ready for more.

[Dave007]

Everything is going well with the bird's transistion to your house. The only 2 things you're really worried about are

1---lack of talking lately

2---not wanting to step up

 

The bird obviously isn't afraid of you if he's paying attention and imitating things you say.

 

To reestablish that stepping up process, just use a small perch for a while instead of your hand. If he eventually takes to the perch, he'll eventually take to your hand as long as you make that perch shorter and shorter. Start off with 10 inches and work it down to 5 inches. It will take some time to reestablish the stepping up habit. Don't rush things. Hold the bird on the stick for a bit before returning to the cage. Do it regularly.

 

Talking--no one can tell if a bird will start talking again as they did before especially if only 2 mts has passed.

 

Physical contact, trust, calmness, not being forced to do things and carry on the way it used to be are the things that help a bird to get back to known routines although they may not be as strong as they were. Don't get upset about the talking. He's paying attention to you and that's what counts. You're taking it personally concerning his lack of talking to you but that's only a small thing to worry about when behavior is involved. he may be talking around others siply because they're not trainers.

 

That toweling was a bad idea from the beginning. Items like that should be used in very special occasions and the one you mentioned wasn't special.

 

Hitting a bird can cause a long period of distrust. The bird doesn't know it's being punished. If a person has a bird that may do things like that, the solution is to simply put the bird elsewhere. People have to sometimes do that when feeding.

 

""""Should I force him to come to me then hold him close to me to show him love or will this terrify him further. I don't want to harm him anymore than he has been in the past. """

 

No, don't hold on to him and cudle him when you're trying to get used to a perch. He's already nervous about your hand. Dont complicate the situation by having him also nervous about your other body parts.

 

 

PS---don't give your phone# out to strangers. Bad idea. You never can tell who's reading that #.<br><br>Post edited by: Dave007, at: 2009/03/23 00:49

[Poppy163]

Thanks Dave for commenting on this post first of all. Poppy will climb out onto the door of the cage to be brought to another area of my home. He has been taught from an early age to get onto a basket (as seen in photo). He will not take to any other baskets or hand perch at this point. I will say he did come to three family members, me being one of them at one time standing on our fingers. I believe the trama caused him not to trust quite yet. I will try getting him to use a perch instead of the basket.