melrn57 Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Hello! I am having trouble with my Smokey! He is 1.5 years old. He has always been bonded with my husband more so than me. He would let him do anything to him, hold him upside down, rub his head, under his wings, even massage his little toes. I have been able to do minimal things with him when my husband is home, but when he is gone I could do whatever. A month ago, he busted some blood feathers and was bleeding pretty badly. My husband was the only one home and he had to grab him with both hands, put him in his carrier and take him to the vet. The vet removed the feathers and everything was fixed. However, since then he is a toal different bird. He will not let us get him out of his cage. He will climb out on his own, but once he is out we cannot touch him. If we do manage to get him on our finger he just SCREAMS like we are killing him and flies to the floor. We are both very frustrated because we love him like he is our child and it is killing us to see him act this way. Does anyone have any suggestions to offer on how we might "retrain" him and I guess regain his trust? THanks and anything you can offer is greatly appreciated:( :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flyguy9708 Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I don't know how to personally help you, but there is a guy online who of course wants you to buy his product, but has just about every training video available. I am not saying you should buy one of his videos, but he has answered some questions of mine without me ever buying a thing from him. His name is Chet Womach and his sight is birdtricks.com. I am having probs right now too, though not as bad as yours. Maybe if you write him he can help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveyj Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I dont think Mr Womach is the answer to your problem and i dont want to tell you why, end of that. Well i think its go back to day one when you got your grey and start again building the trust and being patient the shock and pain of the feathers have knocked your grey back and he needs time sitting and talking with him will build the trust back up without handling him he will come to you when hes ready so hang on in there i know its hard but time will tell:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melrn57 Posted February 27, 2009 Author Share Posted February 27, 2009 Thanks! That is kind of what we have been doing. Just sweet talking and letting him know it is ok. I told my husband we are just gonna have to give it time. We cannot force him to be the bird he was ( he may never be) but hopefully he will come around! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acappella Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I agree with daveyj. He's been spooked and it could take a while for him to come around. He's associating his pain and fright with being handled, so in his mind being handled is a threat. A month is no time at all in the life of a grey. I know your hearts are breaking because his trust was broken through no fault of your own but he will come around with love and patience. Another thing to take into account is that when a grey reaches Smokey's age they often begin to cuddle less. They move out of the baby stage and become more independent. Try to look at it another way. Thank goodness your husband was home when he injured himself. With the blood loss you describe you could be dealing with an empty cage instead of a spooked bird. He needs your love, calm, and consistancy more than ever right now. Celebrate every little victory, don't rush him or force him when he's clearly frightened, and he'll come around. Remember, you can alway come here to vent:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyric Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Since greys are prey animals it's instinctual for them to fear something they perceive as a threat. He is now unfortunately associating you and your husband as threats because of what happened. You'll just have to take things slowly and rebuild the trust. Try just sitting closely and reading to him, offer treats by hand and play with toys in front of him. Eventually he should decide to restart your relationship if for no other reason because he is bored and lonely. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 The others have all given great advice and comments. That was a traumatic event for your Grey to experience. Breaking those blood feathers was very painful, the excitement and anxiety felt around the house while your hubby was determining what to do, then placing him in the carrier, then the strangers man handling him, causing severe pain while pulling out those feathers etc. was a real SHOCK to smokey. He will come around, but right now he is trying to make sense of all that and just isn't letting his guard down for anyone right now. Time, patience and love overcomes all things and your Smokey will be back to his old self in weeks or months. You'll see slight changes day to day and week to week. The good news is your smokey made it through thanks to your husbands quick thinking and actions. Looking forward to hearing how all is progressing over time. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melrn57 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 OKay guys! Thanks so much for all your advice. We have made some progress. He will still not step up to us, but if he flies then we get him and once he calms down he is ok. He will let us rub his head. However, I am very worried about him! When he flies he screams bloody murder. I think maybe his wing hurts?? He will scream for like 5 minutes. I do not know if he is associating flying with what happened or if it really hurts him. He is eating great, plays with his toys, throws his dishes and everything that is normal for his little attitude. I mean I would think if his wing was hurt he would hold it funny and "favor" it. Am I crazy for thinking this? Is it necessary to take him and have an xray or would he not show more symptoms? He just SCREAMS!! Any advice...we are really at a loss here. We love this bird like a child, and it is killing us both that he has turned into CRAZY bird!!:huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimaysmommy Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Melrn57 my heart goes out to you guys and I really hope everything turns out for the best with Smokey. It sounds like you guys really want to go the extra mile in regaining his trust and hopefully that will come with time. Our CAG isn't here yet so I have no experience to speak of on this matter, but we'll be thinking about you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melrn57 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Thanks!! I wish I could get in his bird brain and fix him! Enjoy your baby b/c just like a child those are some of the best times! Our baby was still a baby until this tragic experience it and now he is nuts. Howevern we still love him, but it is sooo frustrating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casper Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 My eldest grey Charlie suffered a terrible experience when we had an earthquake in Feb 2008. He was totally freaked by this in the middle of the night, lost his flights through it and the ability to fly. His confidence and trust also was taken. It has taken months to get Charlie back to nearly his normal self ( he still cant fly ) but his confidence has increased ten fold! I had to accept going back to the early days, I spent hours talking to him, giving him treats I let him go at his own pace. He too would not let me handle him or step up anymore, this was re-learnt at a later stage when he felt more confident with me. Some days he didnt even want to come out of his cage and when he did he seemed so frustrated because he couldnt fly and I had to keep him at a lower level to stop him injuring himself. He would lunge at me and my husband when we even put the food bowls in, it was heartbreaking for me. My situation was slightly different with the circumstances but I believe are very similiar in the bonding and trust issues. A year on and you wouldnt believe we had gone through any of this. Charlie has gone back to fully trusting me again, he gives me kisses, readily steps up and has me carry him around, is so happy and talks non stop he is my baby out of all three. All I can say to you is take small steps and dont expect too much too soon. Greys are very sensitive and dont easily forget things. Go at your babies pace and I am sure things will work over time. I am glad I had the patience to work with Charlie, its paid off and has made everything worth while. Good luck and please keep us posted with your progress no matter how small it may seem we are always here to listen , help and understand. Caroline.<br><br>Post edited by: casper, at: 2009/03/10 15:02 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane08 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Are you sure the screaming when flying is not playing. Both of ours have a session everyday where they fly like crazy and scream like banshee's while they are flying. This can go on for 5-10 min in the afternoon. It seriously looks like they are nuts. They even sort of dive bomb us and come down and fly past us as close as they can. It is so funny and they seem so happy. I would think if the wing was sore he wouldn't want to fly. Our female had a broken wing feather and was miserable all weekend and wouldn't fly at all because it annoyed her and was sore. My boyfriend had to carry her everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovethatgrey Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Sounds like LOTS of PATIENCE and TIME is the key. Baby steps.B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Like Janes Grey, when my Grey fly's, many times he becomes excited and screams as he goes. Is your Grey screaming AFTER he lands for 5 minutes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarolandFamily Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Aww I wish you the best I am glad that you both got him to the vet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acappella Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 OK, this may reveal more about my thought proces than anything else, but here's another way to approach this! You said that Smokey has always been more bonded to your husband. What if you look at the situation as an opportunity to usurp your hubby and become Smokey's new favourite person.:silly: Do everything you can to 'suck up' to Smokey and take note and celebrate every small step towards having a good trusting relationship with him. It will help you put your focus on what is getting better rather than on what has been lost. After all "there's nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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