LindaMary Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 My niece gave me the book Animal Talk, by Penelope Smith, for Christmas. It's basically about telepathic communication with animals, and I have found it interesting. I'm curious to know if anyone else has read this book and what they think of it. I don't know that I have much in the way of telepathic skills, but reading it seemed to reinforce for me the concept of looking at situations from an animal's point of view, and I think it has actually helped me to resolve a couple of behavior issues I was struggling with with my birds. One example: Tanner, my severe macaw, was backsliding on his hand-tameness and screeching a few weeks ago, and I started to think it might be connected to the fact I had a lot of work to do on the computer at home at that time. He, Maxi and the computer "live" in the same room, and it's set up so that when I am on the computer, my back is to the birds. I wondered if he was acting out because he interpreted my back to him as rejection or punishment. So I got him out and sat down with him at the computer and talked to him about it and said I'd try to be more considerate about his feelings when I needed to spend time on the computer. The next few times I was on the computer, I went and talked to him first and said I needed to work for a bit, and we'd play afterwards. Call me crazy: he stopped the acting out. It wasn't a telepathic conversation, of course, but more of a response based on being a bit more mindful of what I was doing that might be bothering my bird friend. Any reactions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane08 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I haven't read the book, but I do sort of use other ways to communicate with our birds. I know this is going to sound crazy but sometimes I look them in the eye and then just let myself feel inside so happy and pleased/proud of them (without saying anything to them) becuase I know they can interpret how we feel. I also find the explaining to them works. Rangi used to hate to go in the cage in the mornings, so I would look him in the eye and inside feel as much love as I could directed at him and then tell him I have to go to work now but I will be back soon and that you have to go in the cage now. Now a majority of the time he seems to understand and will step up on my hand and I will walk him to the cage all the time feeling inside so proud and love and talking to him gently telling him he is a good boy and I will be home soon. I know he understand because now he says to me " I have to go to work now, coming soon, you must go in the cage now". I really try now to explain to them what is going on whenever I do something, like if I move the perch with them on it I say hold on just moving it a little bit. Now when I move it and forget to say that he goes to me "hold on" and I laugh and say sorry you are right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMary Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 That's exactly what the book tlks about, Jane - what you are doing. And your method doesn't sound crazy to me at all - I have been doing similar things myself more often lately, and I agree that I really think I see a noticable response. In retrospect, I used to do this with my daughter when she was an infant, so why wouldn't I do it with my animals? It's been very interesting to me to watch the effect it has - and it's also an interesting challenge to try to look at the world through their eyes more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane08 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Phew, glad you didn't think I was nuts. I haven't even told my boyfriend that I do it, although sometimes I catch him talking to them and telling them exactly what he is doing and why he is doing it and that it's no problem everything is ok. I don't have kids, but could imagine you would do it with them as well. My logic was how would I feel if someone came over told me to do something or took me somewhere without telling me what is going on, of course I would resist, be scared and confused. I also do it when they have an accident, so if Rangi or kea have a crash landing and end up on the floor I walk over all smiles and laugh a little bit and ask them what they are doing and are you ok, keeping it very light hearted and inside feeling happy and at ease. Rangi will step up shake himself off and go say "ugh" and I laugh and say to him exactly and then he chatters away forgetting all about his accident. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMary Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Good point, Jane - I have always done the same when Maxi had a fall or something, or when we were going to the vet, or in any situation where it was obvious she might be stressed. I think what I find interesting is experimenting to see how far we can expand beyond that point, to communicate with our animals over a much wider range than I had ever thought possible. I've been trying it out on the cats and the bunny, too, but either I "speak" better in "bird", or the birds are just more perceptive - I haven't seen such clear responses from my other beasties... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I have not read the book, but it does sound interesting. Since very young and growing up around many different animal and avian types. I have always felt they could somehow sense your emotions. Most do not have any command of the human language, but some do. I am on the same page with You Linda and Jane. I have found that my feelings and explaining things to my Grey gets a very different reaction than just a blurted out word, short sentence or change in body language such as turning my back. They seem to peer deep in to your soul through eye contact and intently listen to what you are saying. The fact that they "Get It", I believe is proven both by their reaction and at sometime in the future using that exact word or sentence at exactly the right time based upon the situation. It is truly shocking the first time you have this occur and realise there is a lot more going on inside these wonderful creatures other than just "Instinctual Behaviour" that has evolved over the millenium. I've found that they feel and react based upon how YOU feel when responding and interacting with them. Get frustrated,they become frustrated, get angry, they become angry, be come sad, they become comforting etc..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMary Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Spot on, Dan. Another recent example which actually also has to do with Tanner (the severe macaw, who is kind of my special needs child at present): I am still trying to teach him to spend less time screeching for my attention - his screeches are truly ear-shattering, and I fear for my neighbors once the windows are open here in New England again soon. I've been trying a combination of ignoring it, responding in what-I-thought-was a normal voice saying what I'd LIKE him to say (e.g. "Tanner, can you say "Hi Mama"?"), and sometimes even covering his cage for five minutes when it really got out of hand. But one element I started to realize was getting in my way was my own emotional reaction to the noise. It's a harsh sound, and it sounds angry just by its nature, and even if I didn't feel like I was physically doing anything different in my response to Tanner, I was certainly aware that I was irritated by the noise, and woudl gradually feel increasingly annoyed with him for persisting - especially if I'd just walked in the door from work and he would immediately start screaming away. Of course I also had the contrast with Maxi, who contact calls with the best of 'em, but her calls are all pretty whistles, of course, and I don't find them irritating at all. Well, I finally had a little epiphany a couple of weeks ago: it dawned on me that Tanner doesn't know HOW to make pretty noises like Maxi yet (and may never do so). He's just doing the best he can with the tool he has to greet me and tell me he loves me! Duhhhhhh...Earth to Linda : come IN please....!! TOTAL attitude change on my part, and guess what: total attitude change on his part in response. He still screeches his hellos frequently, but I am sure that when I call back to him, the quality of my voice has changed, because with this new understanding I am really not aggravated now. He clearly hears that in my voice and converts to his gentler noises almost immediately. Amazing. Actually, maybe the only amazing part of all of this is how loooonnnngg it takes the hairless ape in the household to Get It... :whistle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rierie Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 When it comes to feelings.... i think they are a lot like us. It is like when my husband is upset and snaps at me.. I have learned and it is still hard at times to not snap back. I become defensive... but I have learned that i am taking his angry on when i do that... i try real hard not to do that.. he usually snaps because i done something he didnt want me too. therefore i take his angry on i didnt have a problem with it he did... but if we communicate better things are less stressful I beleive the birds are the same way... communication.. Charlie seems to thrive for communication.. and they mimic or learn our language so they can communicate.. does anything I said make since to you all. I am not good at communicating what i mean sometimes.. hope it does.<br><br>Post edited by: rierie, at: 2009/02/18 17:12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMary Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Yes, Rierie - you're making sense to me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane08 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Linda I hear you with the screaming. Kea used to scream alot when we first got her. It got so bad that I would stand there listening to it and my body would be all tense and I was like a pressure cooker that finally exploded and I am not proud of this but I would be so frustrated and would say kea can't you just shut up and I would walk out of the room in tears. I hate to say it but I really didn't like her. My boyfriend and I talked about it and came up with a way to try and solve it. Part of it was the techniques you used like the ignoring and replacing it with other noises that were pleasant, but the other part was my reaction to her. I decided to just try and relax my body when she screamed and smile at her and pretend like it didn't bother me and take myself to a nice place and try and hold those thoughts. When she made a nice noise I then turned all my attention to her and directed all the nice feelings I had inside at her. The screaming finally stopped after using these methods for a few months. Now we are great friends and I call her Queen B and it is amazing the way she reacts to me now, just because I have changed my attitude to her. I feel so guilty that she must have known that I didn't like her. Now when I think about her I get warm fuzzies inside. We also train together now and I swear it is the best time we have together. We had fun learning fetch and now with the harness I have it over her head no problem and she is such a good girl. After training both of them are on the perch and I stand there for about 5 min and direct all the love and warmth that I have inside at them without saying anything. We just stand there and stare at each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMary Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 That's what I'm talking about, Jane! Now, Lord, give me the strength to be as patient with Tanner as Jane has been with Kea!:blink: B)<br><br>Post edited by: LindaMary, at: 2009/02/19 15:18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaxtersMom Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Fabulous thread!!! Thanks LindaMary for directing me to it. My conure Bonkers has turned into a screaming fool. He used to be so quiet but the screaming has just been increasing with time. I have been just ignoring it but I was like Jane and felt like a pressure cooker ready to explode. After reading all this, no wonder he hasn't stopped. duh! It's me. He knows how stressed and upset and I am even if I don't say a word to him about it. I have always heard to ignore the bad behavior and it will stop and that may be true for many things but it's not working for this one. I do think Bonkers understands what we say and feel too. I have been quite aggrevated about his screaming and sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and say I Give Up. I can't handle him and I don't know what to do about this or how to change it. This only makes me feel upset at myself, too. So after unloading on another one of LindaMarys posts she directed me to this thread. I read it all and can totally relate. After reading it, I went and had a heart to heart talk with Bonkers and told him how I felt. I told him we needed a fresh start and a clean slate and I told him I was all stressed out because of all the screaming. He was listening to me. At the time of the talk he was in his cage. I put him in about an hour earlier to stop his screaming. He is usually out from sun up to sun down unless we leave the house or if I can't get him to quit screaming. So I had the talk with him and I have agreed to let the stress go and start over with him. He was listening intently and it even seemed to relax him just as it did me. Now he is on my shoulder, all puffed with his head tucked in his back all comfy. We are off to a good start so far. I hope it continues. I think he gets aggrevated with me because I don't sit still long enough for him to relax on me. His favorite person is my husband but maybe if I try a little harder with him and ease up a bit he might enjoy me a little bit more. I do communicate with my other flock members and explain things to them and laugh and joke with them and they seem to "Get it". I really don't do it with Bonkers because he had me stressed so much. He might have felt left out and unwanted. I will try harder and think of his feelings more. Will let you know how it goes..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christina Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 What a conincedence that I saw this thread today. My husband travels a lot for work. Everyday that we get up, if I get his bird, Loki, up, Loki automatically looks out the door to see where his dad is (sometimes he is home and sometimes not, which Loki figures out in time). I got Loki up yesterday after his dad left for travel, and Loki never once looked out the door or tried to go to the office to see his dad. It's like he knew he was gone. I asked my husband if he told Loki he wasn't going to be there...he said he had a long chat with him before he put him to bed the night before he left about where he was going and how long he was going to be gone and when to expect him back. It was the strangest thing, like Loki actually knew what to expect. Just amaazing how much we hold back from these animals, when they apparently can and will keep up with us. Fantastic thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMary Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Good for you, Erika - keep us posted! And thanks for sharing that story about Loki, Christina. It's almost eerie how attuned these creatures are, isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaxtersMom Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I'm not sure if this is too early to tell since it's only been about 10 hours from my last post but me and Bonkers have had a wonderful day!!!:woohoo: Surprise Surprise! After our "talk" earlier today about starting over I made several efforts to find him on his boing, on Baxters cage, the refridgerator or where ever he was and just ask him how he was doing. I told him what a good boy he had been all day with no screaming and a bunch of compliments along with it. He came and sat with me while I watched some TV and it was so nice. I've been so frustrated with him lately and don't have many "converstations" with him but today it seemed to make all the difference in the world. Bonkers is also so attached to my husband and rarely wants anything to do with me anyway so I do pay less attention to him as he would give me little nips telling me to get away. Sometimes he is just downright mean to me:S so I stay away on purpose alot of the time. But with a little effort from both of us we had a real peaceful day. My stress level was way down since I didn't have to hear so much screaming from him. I am hoping this was just not some fluke and I hope it stays like this. I will definately talk to him more and tell him more about my day to day activities and thoughts since he seemed to respond to it so well today. I am keeping my fingers crossed for another good day tomorrow. He seemed alot more relaxed today too.<br><br>Post edited by: BaxtersMom, at: 2009/03/19 04:54 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane08 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Yay, I am so happy for you Baxters mum. It is very hard when they are attached to someone else, Kea was attached to my boyfriend. She was also downright mean to me until I made an action plan of how to become friends with her stop her screaming. I also never really talked to her becuase I really hated her. Once I let those feelings go and realised it's not her fault she is here with me, she didn't ask to come here it really helped me to feel more compassion for her and understand how tough it must be coming to a strange home and trying to fit it. Everyday now we have our talks together, train together and I treat her like a Queen. I sit with them on the window sill everyday looking at the world go by and all the action. We are all quiet just looking out the window and this is the time I feel so much love for them and direct it at them. Kea had to go to the vet a couple of weeks ago for a broken feather and as soon as my boyfirend was out the door with her I was in a flood of tears becuase I love her so much. Rangi kept asking me "where is Kea where is Kea" and calling for her "Kea come Kea come sweety". I then had a talk to him and explained where she was and that she would be home soon. He looks at me and goes "coming soon" and this is when I knew he understood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMary Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Terrific news, Erika! I'll bet you will find that it is NOT just a fluke, because you actually have a new tool in your toolbox. Sure, Bonkers will have some more screaming fits, but now you have a new strategy when he does. You'll probably have to tweak it from time to time to fit different moods, different situations. Do keep us posted on how this continues - and I'm so glad to hear about your peaceful day! See Jane, you have really helped some folks here. Karma to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaxtersMom Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 2nd day of this "experiment" with Bonkers and it is not a "fluke" I have been making a special point to talk to him more he has been absolutely wonderful!:woohoo: Yes, he still will give out some loud squaks but I think Conures do that in general but there has not been anymore screaming fits at all. He is even letting me give him head scratches and letting me cup his back when he is sitting on me which he has never done before. He even flew off my husband last night to come sit and cuddle with me. That was a first. This has been a complete 180 for us. I can't believe how fast it has happened. What's really strange is that I have tried giving him more attention in the past and bond with him better but he seemed like he wanted no part of me or a friendship with me any of the other times I've tried. Only thing I can think of is that really do understand words and sentences because this was the first time I actually talked about a "fresh start" and "wiping the slate clean" and "starting over". I told him how tense I get when he has his screaming fits and I just told him all about it:laugh: I guess he understood. I hope this lasts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Who knows maybe he did understand what you were telling him, in any case I am glad to hear it is working, hope it keeps up and I know you will let us know, wow.:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMary Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 That's wonderful news, Erika! I'm guessing the difference is your own change in attitude. Could there have been a part of you that was resenting him, or holding back, when you were making your previous attmpts to make friends? I'm convicned they see right through any facades we have, even if our facades are well-meaning - MUCH better than humans do. Keep up the good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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