Difference in opinions on raising Ash

[rjhammy]

Now that Ash has settled in to her cage/food/our house... my boyfriend and I have a few disagreements.

 

I'm more of the... "this-needs-to-be-done-to-insure-a-better-life-for-Ash-down-the-road"

 

My boyfriend is more... "let's-not-scare-Ash-and-cause-her-stress-and-if-we-don't-need-to-we-shouldn't"

 

Anytime I try to teach her something that causes her to get a little flustered... it upsets my boyfriend. But I really think these needs are necessary... like toweling, litter training, bathing, eating veggies...

 

For example... toweling.

 

I want to be able to do it now... rather than wait until an emergency. I've kept a white towel by her cage for 2 days and then left it by her outside perch. Last night we tried toweling her with very little success. We were too scared to hold her tight and she scrambled out and hit the floor. After that... she was really shaky and my boyfriend was upset at *ME* for forcing him to help me towel her and said that we should stop trying.

 

Thoughts?

 

Obviously I don't want to traumatize her... but I also want her to be a good parrot citizen.<br><br>Post edited by: rjhammy, at: 2009/02/05 19:21

[LilosMom]

Maybe a little compromise between you and your b/f? I don't think its ever too early to teach you brid anything, as long as you do it in a fun and enjoyable way.

 

Like Toweling, instead of just throw the towel over her right away, play "peekaboo" with her first.

Place her on the ground or any "its ok for her to play area", then you hide behind the towel and peek out anywhere from behind the towel and say "peekaboo"!! Play this game with her for couple of days.

When she seems more comfortable with the towel and see it as something fun to be around then you slowly cover her with the towel (by starting wtih the game "peekaboo"). Once you get her in the towel then you pick her up with laughters and kisses and tell her she is a good girl.

Over all just try to make it fun and whenever you want to teach her anything make sure she is enjoying your company, whenever you feel frustrated or nervous stop the session and try it another time.<br><br>Post edited by: LilosMom, at: 2009/02/05 19:33

[Jane08]

Lilosmom has hit it on the head. Everything you teach your grey should be fun for the bird. Once it stops being fun you need to stop. You need to let your bird make the decisions while encouraging her with treats and praise.

 

If you scare her with the towel for example she will really begin to hate it and be scared forever. Like Lilosmom said play games with the towel, make a tunnel and put treats down leading in to the towel and praise her for even looking or touching the towel. You will have to do this is baby steps. This could take months to achieve and that is fine, don't rush it take your time and go at the pace that Ash is comfortable with. It might take longer but in the end you will have a happy bird that is eager to learn new things.

 

I am clicker training our 2 at the moment to wear a harness and I am using baby steps, so they got praise and treats for looking at the harness. Then praise and treats for me being able to move the harness closer to them. After 3 weeks I can now stroke them all over with the harness. Baby steps and time is the key, it will pay off in the end.

[DavidH]

Really good advise from both posters.

 

I especially appreciated this line:

 

"whenever you feel frustrated or nervous stop the session and try it another time."

 

One of the things I LOVE about interacting with a parrot is that what works best is just walking away and dropping the emotional baggage instantly.

 

In human-human relationships we're used to carrying the anger/resentment/bad vibes/frustration longer, but with a parrot you can (and must, if you want things to work well) drop all that right away. End on the high note, no matter what. It's quite liberating, really.

[rjhammy]

Thanks everyone. After reading (and thinking) this through... I realize that it's me getting too excited and pushing Ash too hard. I have so many things I want to do with her and share with her... but I know I need to move at her speed.

[LisaM]

In the long run it will be worth it.

 

And good luck on the toweling. I have pretty much given up on that. Mine freak out if I'm even folding towels in the same room. That said, the vet has no problem toweling them. I need to have her show me exactly how she's doing it because I clearly don't have the knack. I need to do the whole desensitizing thing too.

 

The way I see it, there's real-time, kid-time (you know, slowing down the minute you say you're in a hurry) and parrot-time...which makes kid-time seem like lightspeed. :laugh:

 

Lisa

[BMustee]

I'm with everyone else. It's much easier to teach a grey to enjoy something if you make it fun. I'm sure your going to do great bringing up a healthy Grey.

 

As for the toweling in an emergency, if it's really an URGENT thing that you need to get a hold of your grey you can do it without the towel. All you do is come up from behind with your hand and grab him around the neck at the bace of the head and wrap the first, middle and thumb around the neck with your other hand holding ether the feet or right above the base of the tail. Don't be afraid to get a firm hold to keep the head from twisting and biting...the airway is incased in cartilage so it's pretty hard to stangle them this way. The worst thing to do while holding is to hold around the body because their lungs don't work the same way humans/mammals do with a diaphragm...birds need to expand the whole chest to breath. When toweling you hold the same way, but the towel is placed loosely around the wings to keep the bird from flapping...plus some parrots are really good at twisting and are still able to bite fingers if not in a towel.

 

I thought I would share that with everyone, cause' I mug birds all day long so it's pretty routine for me and a lot of parrot ouners don't really know exactly how to hold them.

[LisaM]

That's a good point Berna. I did have to grab my female ekkie that way when I had to give her some medication a few weeks ago. I gave up on the towel and figured if I got a bite, I got a bite. Didn't though. Worked like a charm!