any advice i'm frustrated

[lolamay]

has anyone else got this problem. my darling larry is now very good at flying, after leaving my last post weather to clip or not,we have decided against it. now he just wont leave me alone where ever i am he flys on me, its a constant thing. he is demanding sooooo much attention.the more i give the more he wants. this is really getting me down. he has also started to bite and draw blood when i guide him away. i have tried putting him away but he just gets angry in his cage, i leave him and let him be, but he just dont learn. he is fine with other members of the family its as if he is trying to control me. has anyone please got any advice.[/b]

[BaxtersMom]

I have an eclectus that does this. When he wants attention he will now fly to me whether I want him to or not. At first it was a problem and I felt the same way as you do. I put him back on or in his cage but he still kept coming.

 

I don't want to say that I gave in to this behavior but basically worked with it so it could work for me as well. Now when he flies to me I will either let him ride around on my shoulder for awhile and do my chores or what ever I am doing or I will get his table top perch and put it close to me so he can see what I'm doing and be near me and this has worked very well for me. When he is with me, he is so content and he obviously feels he needs this attention. When I let him ride on my shoulder or be on the tableperch he is happy as can be and when I put him back in his cage he seems content. Before when I would just take him back to his cage without being near me he would just fly back to me a few minutes later and when I went to make him step up he would get angry and give me some small bites showing me his displeasure with this. He knew I was taking him back to his cage and was mad about it.

 

But yes it was a problem for me. It's like he wouldn't leave me alone at first so I just worked with it untill we both were happy. Life is much better for us now and we are both happy.

Good luck to you.

[judygram]

Seems you found a solution to the same problem Erika and many thanks for sharing it with Lola and the rest of us as others may have the same thing going on.

[BaxtersMom]

Yes, it was a problem at first. I thought the more attention I gave him the more he wanted it. I felt bad and mean putting him back on his cage all the time so we worked it out by both giving a little;) I found that if I give him some attention when "he" wanted it, he was less likely to come flying to me later.

[LisaM]

I hear ya Erika! Living with parrots is all about compromises, be it taking more vacations, changing our own diets (for the better!), going into the other room to talk on the phone, feed kids vs. get toys for the birds (just kidding about this one ). And yes, sometimes we just find a way to live with something to "make the peace".

 

I don't have a tabletop perch as I have big rolling ones for each of mine, but I like the idea and I think I'm going to run out and get one today (which will probably cost me $200 by the time I walk out of the parrot store! :blink: )

 

You can try putting them back over and over, and giving treats when he does stay there for a minute, then two minutes, then three...etc. Then he may associate getting the reward for staying put. Some people seem to have very well-trained birds so maybe they'll have some more ideas. I know it takes a lot of patience and time.

 

Like Erika, I have found ways to have them with me more but they generally will stay put when I absolutely need them to or will tolerate going into their cage because it's not as frequent.

 

Good luck!

[danmcq]

Hi Lolamay,

 

The others gave good advice on finding a balance of allowing the shoulder ride while your walking around, doing chores etc. Then also working with your Grey on staying on a perch either on a movable stand, tablestand or even a doortop to watch you from and still feel like it's with the rest of the flock. It is a natural instinct for them to go where the flock goes.

 

It will take some time and repetitions of putting your Grey where you want it to stay and watch you at whatever you are doing. :-)

[LilosMom]

Hi Lolamay,

I too do the same thing; I have a T-stand where I can bring Lilo everywhere with me. Hubby and I both works at home so we also take turns (actually that is up to Lilo who he wants to follow) I find that for Lilo as long as there is somebody there with him in the same room he is fine, he just doesn't like to alone. Now, I have a baby on the way, so I m trying to change the strategy and train him to be in the cage more or stay at one spot when I need him to stay put. Like Dan mentioned above, it’s a lot of repetitions and you have be consistent (which I have not master yet) Please update us on the progress, good luck!

[DavidH]

And yes, sometimes we just find a way to live with something to "make the peace".

 

I think Greys do understand "making the peace" on their end too.

 

To put in more scientific terms, they reconcile after disputes. Compromise/reconciliation is in the individual interest of the bird and the collective interest of the flock.

 

I need to do lots more thinking and observing about this, but I find it interesting.

[Nychsa]

lolamay wrote:

has anyone else got this problem. my darling larry is now very good at flying, after leaving my last post weather to clip or not,we have decided against it. now he just wont leave me alone where ever i am he flys on me, its a constant thing. he is demanding sooooo much attention.the more i give the more he wants. this is really getting me down. he has also started to bite and draw blood when i guide him away. i have tried putting him away but he just gets angry in his cage, i leave him and let him be, but he just dont learn. he is fine with other members of the family its as if he is trying to control me. has anyone please got any advice.[/b]

 

Hi,

 

My Bella is flighted as well. There's no doubt in my mind that when they are flighted it takes a good helping of additional work and training and I think the training angle is key.

 

Bella follows me around everywhere as well. She's come to learn that I don't always want her on my shoulder. When I don't want her on my shoulder I have her step up on my finger and I set her down somewhere. We went through that drill a few times and so now she follows me, but lands somewhere else. Somehow we've developed this body language communication that she knows when I'm ok with it, and when I'm not. Generally if I'm busy cleaning or doing something I don't want her on my shoulder and so she just joins elsewhere.

 

Our biggest problem involves my lamps. She and Jiggy have this large play gym that Jiggy loves and Bella can't be bothered with LOL! So, she gets into everything else, particularly the lamps. She lands on them and knocks them over. In fact she just did it again just now. She knows I don't want her doing that. She she's on the lamp I approach her, and say "no, no, no!" and lift her off and set her somewhere else. Recently she tried to make an issue about it. She flies up on the lamp, and SHE SAYS "no, no, no!" and before I can get to her she flies off. Well, I obviously can't let her get away with that, so I go after her and say "no, no, no" and set her on the play gym. Just now she decided to push the issue and stayed on the lamp and as I tried to get her to step off she bit me pretty good! But, I knew if I let her get away with that, I will only invite her to bite me again and again and again. So, I was very resolute in getting her to step up where as she flew off into the kitchen, and I went after her, nailed her in the kitchen told her she was bad, and "no bite" and I put her into her cage for time out. Initially she was pretty mad - throwing things around and banging her beak on the cage. Now she's calling for me :laugh: She's staying in there for another 30 minutes - that should be enough time for her to cool off!

 

So, I understand this flying business takes much more training. But for me the trade off is that both she and Jiggy seem to have a whole new level of understanding and cognizance, and I think that has allowed her to develop all kinds of creative solutions to things - for example she tried to lock Jiggy into his cage by flying up against it and closing the door; she's also incredibly interested in the dimmers. When I dim the lights she watches the light then she looks at me and then back at the light. She's tried to fly over to the dimmers to give it a try herself :laugh: When the dogs bellow towards something outside the window Bella is like the Airforce flying in joining them in the hunt :laugh:

 

So, it's a trade off - more work, but more options for them

[lolamay]

Hi thanks everyone.

yet again some very useful information. Larry and i are still learning from each other. Its also nice to know that i'm not alone. I now return larry to his cage when i am busy and give him something to play with. i am sure with alot of patience little structure and a regular routine we will get there in the end. I do love him dearly.