Crises

[Anmlhggr]

Hello all,

 

I know I haven' been around much lately, so much has happened. I recently got rear ended while in my car and the repairs definitely were expensive. I got laid off at my job and have picked up two new ones because neither of them pay well. My grandmother has become very ill - still don't know what is wrong with her and I'm very involved in helping my family right now. There is just so much and I feel like I'm being so unfair to Indi and Woody, I don't know what to do I love them both so much - but yet... I just don't know. Part of me says find them a new home that they can have a better life, but part of me says not too. I'm so afraid that I'm a bad parent because I'm so busy and they barely get the individual attention that I used to be able to give them. They both get let out for about 4 hours everyday before I go to bed but I'm not able to have training or anything at the moment and I'm so afraid that if something should happen to one (or both) of them I wouldn't be able to handle it just with the situation I'm in. I know that it will get better - but what if something goes wrong before it does? I have a savings account for them but with times like this it's very depleted. I love them both so much and I feel so horrible.

 

I'm sorry for dumping all this on the forums but I feel like no one else understands.

 

-A

 

{Feel-bad-0002006A}

[BaxtersMom]

I am sorry you are going through some tough times right now but  it is all part of life. No one has a smooth life all the times and we will all have our crisis's to go through at one time or another.  We can't get rid of our birds just because we  face some trying times. They just have to go through the bad spells with us.  If you are in a situation where their health is deteriorating or you know things aren't going to get any better you might have to consider finding them a new home if you feel it is best. It sounds like you are just stressed out at the moment but hopefully things will work out for you.I have taken in 4 older birds and I can tell you that you won't be doing them any favors if they get put into a home where the people don't take care of them or even know how to take care of them.  If you rehome them how will you know the life they will have?  How would feel if the next owner doesn't let them out of the cage at all? Or found out that they have gotten behavioral problems because of this?  I've got 2 that were cage bound and am beginning to think that most people (outside of this or other grey communities) don't know a lot about taking care of greys and it is really sad.If you really think you need to get rid of them for their benefit perhaps you should check into a real rescue group that will find the kind of homes they deserve.  Where the people will be interviewed and taught how to take care of them properly and know their needs before they take them home. Now lets say 6 months from now, things have straightened out...Will you regret letting your birds go?  Will you want to go out and buy another one just to rehome at a later date?   I am facing hard times right now too and have a couple crisis of my own at the moment but I am thankful I have them around me to help cheer me up. I think you should hang in there for a little longer. If you do not feel like you can care for them then rehome them responsibly.  But if you think there won't be more crisis in the times ahead you are wrong. Life is full of twists and always will be.  I think of my flock as my kids and I wouldn't rehome my kids just because I was going through tough times.  I think you should really think this through. You can't go through life thinking "What If" all the time or you will be a nervous wreck.  Hope things work out for you. 

[Tycos_mom]

Its always darkest just before dawn. I know that things are tough right now but thats not a reason to giveup on your birds. When you got them it was for better or worse would you give your child away because things got tough. As long as you are doing the best you can and your birds are still getting 4hour of out of cage time that is plenty. they will adjust to the new situation and like you said thing will get better. You are not the only one that is haveing problems I to just got into a car accident and my car is going to be very expensive to fix. Christmas is comeing and work is slow I have no Idea how I'm going to buy anything for anybody. We all go through ups and downs but things always have a way of working out for the best. but giveing up your bird to who knows what should not even be an option you are the one they love and giving them up should not even cross your mind. I could never give my birds up they are my everything That to me would half to be a very last resort they keep me happy and smiling without them I'm sure when things got bad I would get depressed. They keep me trying to make things better for them. I met a woman a couple weeks ago that is living in her car with 2 Macaws and an African Grey and like she says she could never part with them they are her kids. So I think I've got it pretty good and so do you. giving up your bird because your going through a bit of a rough time should not even be an option.

[Anmlhggr]

Thank you both for you kind words, I think I was just looking for some reassurance and a pick me up. Certain people having been all over me about being a horrible mother - glad to know I wasn't the only one whose stuck it out with their babies.

 

Much appreciated Baxtersmom, Tyco's mom - thanks.

[BaxtersMom]

You just needed a good kick in the butt!!! And we will be glad to give it to you:laugh:

 

My husband was laid off in October. We are here in Michigan~you know where all the auto companies are collapsing!? He's a machinest so it kind of ties into the auto factories even though he doesn't work for any of them. They told him it was only going to be for a couple weeks, then they told him it was going to be a couple more weeks, now they are saying it will be January before he is called back:ohmy: I know they plan on it but this economy is soooo bad right now that I don't think they can give any promises right now. I sell on ebay full time for the past several years I have been making a ton of money just working from the house. Ebay has collapsed too now (atleast for me). People just aren't buying so I am struggling to make just half of what I used to. It is bad!!! I never thought I'd see the day when ebay had a slump like this. So both of us here are thrown totally for a loop. :unsure:

 

At least you know you are not alone and that many of us are facing trying times with you. I think you should seek comfort with Woody and Indy. I think if I didn't have my birds to entertain me I would be in a severe depression by now. Think of them as a blessing and not as something to worry over.

 

Look on the bright side, too. You got laid off but found 2 new jobs.

[Tycos_mom]

Don't worry your a great mom your birds love you and need you and if you think about it you probubly need them just as much as they need you. This time of year sucks for allot of people. And there are allot of very depressed people out there. But at least you have your health and those sweet birds of yours to make you smile and feel a little better about things. Hang in there in a month or two all this will be a thing of the past and you will have a new crises to think about. thats just the way life is. Give your birds an extra hug and kiss and be grateful that you have them there they trully are angels, blessing from God to you. Enjoy the time you have with them life would not be the same wiithout them.

[HeatherStrella]

I've been where you are. (long time ago) I thought I wasn't spending enough time with my little one. I made some changes and was able to spend more time with her. Shit happens now and then where I can't spend time with her for a day...or so. She just gets the basics. That is very rare. I would never re-home her at this point. I would do anything to keep her...she is absolutely number one in my life. It probably sounds awful considering I'm married, have a dog, and have some family (no kids) still alive. She comes first...if it ever comes down to it, she will get fed before me. We're far from that place but I often think about the "what ifs"...and she will always come first. There's just something about her...we have this bond. I'm sure people on here know what I mean. I'll bet once you're through this difficult part of your life, you may feel the same way. The people telling you that you're a bad mother are full of...you know what.

 

You're a wonderful mama...don't forget to take care of yourself during this difficult time.

[she]

Hang on in there. We all go through horrible times and experiances but they dont last forever.Dont rehome your birds unless their health is suffering. From your post it sounds like they get out the cage and are being well cared for.I think times are hard for everyone at the moment and with christmas round the corner it does not help.I hope you feel a lot brighter soon and I am sure you would regret loosing your birds.Only rehome them as a last resort. You are a very good mum to them and they would miss you.

[casper]

Times are hard for everyone at the moment!

You havn't had your birds for long and it would be unfair to get rid of them and pass them on to someone else.

 

Sometimes we go through stages in our life like this but things will get better! Of course you have to spend time with your family at the moment, thats understandable you have got to be there for them. Just make sure the time you spend with your birds is quality time, its not the quantity its what you do with them when you get some free time that counts.

 

Be strong and think positive even if things get worse before they get better!

I hope things will get a bit better for you soon, drop in more often and keep us all updated.

 

Caroline.

[danmcq]

Just hang in there kiddo!!!

 

The one and only thing you have in life that will never change based on monetary or living conditions, is the love contained in your family unit. No matter what, through thick or thin, you all have each other for support and love. That family of course extends to the non-humans, namely your pets. They are in love with you as much as you with them.

 

It's great to see you are thinking more of their welfare than your own. But, in reality, if you could ask them if they would rather leave and go to lavish resort, with all the money, time and attention from strangers, rather than live with you at a challenging time. The resounding voice you would hear from them all is they will never leave you of their own will.

[Anmlhggr]

Thank you very much everyone, I truly do appreciate it - I am so glad that I have my babies..

 

..and great friends like you on the forums <3