PARROT PEOPLES' MENTALITY

[Dave007]

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PARROT PEOPLE!!!

 

Because, let's face it, parrot people are weird. Now don't deny it or send me indignant notes about how normal you are - you're not fooling anyone. Think about it: When a normal person brings a pet such as a dog or a cat or a goldfish into their homes, they continue to lead normal lives. They socialize with other normal people, they continue to listen to the same types of music, read the same types of books, and eat the same types of foods as before. You, my parrot-afflicted friend, do not.

 

So how odd are you? Let's make a list!

 

1--You are a scholar of psittacinism. You can spell psittacinism.

You scour the Internet and bookstores for research material on parrots.

You join discussion groups and share in agonizing detail each tiny movement of your parrot with other parrot owners, who then share a more-than-unusual

interest in everyone else's parrot's poop. In fact, poop now occupies so much of your thought and free time that you have lost interest in politics, career, and IRA earnings.

 

2--You have begun avoiding normal people, because your parrot seems to have taken a dislike to normal people. This includes your spouse. When he (or she) walks into the same room as you and your bird, there is obvious resentment at the intrusion. However, you are trying to stop reacting this way.

 

3--You eat parrot food. That is, you have taken to eating the special healthy people food you fix for your parrot. It's so much easier than separately preparing the usual junk for yourself. This is, in general, a good thing. (Just remember to avoid the birdie bread you made with Harrison's.)

 

4--You have rearranged your furniture to accommodate your bird and future birds. If you are severely afflicted, you have bought a new house especially designed for parrotly needs, including vaulted ceilings, screened-in porches and rooms with drains in the floor.

 

5--You buy only healthy and interesting pet toys that cost the equivalent of two months' salary and can be destroyed by a beak in five minutes. You ask store clerks questions such as, "Is the dye on this wooden block human grade?" and "What types of chemicals were used to treat this suede strip?" and "Where can I find your organic, preservative-free unshelled imported almonds?"

 

6--You make your own bird toys. Sometimes you do this even when you can find bird toys you like. "My toys are cheaper to make, or more interesting," you tell yourself. And then you set up an Internet store or auction site to sell your toys. You use your other talents For the Good of Parrots. You make quilted cage covers, human clothing protectors, jewelry designed to be worn by humans and chewed on by parrots, paintings of parrots, key chains engraved with the parrot's name.

 

Parrots are the dominant species on earth and they are simply using us to perpetuate their race and eventually take over. If you doubt that, just remember that it's the dominant creature who gets other creatures to take care of it. Think about all you do for your bird, the hours spent cleaning his cage, cleaning the floor, cleaning the food and water dishes, cleaning the bird toys, cooking food,

cleaning the walls of said food, bandaging your skin from the latest nip. Then think about how you sit down exhausted and feel grateful and honored to look upon his pampered plumage and big dark eyes.

This is not normal. You'll never see a dog person made misty eyed by the beauty of their pet slowly lifting its leg.

 

I say it's high time we parrot people reclaim our lives and save the human race from certain demise. Be strong - it won't be easy or done quickly, but by acting together we can thrive as a species again.

I'll be right there with you, just as soon as I finish sewing this bird cosey and taking the pellet casserole out of the oven.

[Talon]

THAT IS THE MOST INTELLIGENT POST I HAVE EVER READ BY YOU DAVE!!!

 

{Feel-good-0002006E}

[casper]

LOL, dont burn the pellet casserole!

Great post Dave, so true!

I love the bit about avoiding normal people, I can totally relate to this.:laugh:

[Poppy]

Im new to this and dont think ive been normal since i knew i was getting George

He is all i seem to talk to ppl about ! :ohmy:

[Laurie]

Karma to you, Dave!

I think we can all relate, absolutely!

LOL

[Carolyn]

That is so great Dave, I can relate to that over the last 4 months.:woohoo:

 

Love it keep up the good work Dave.:laugh:

 

Carolyn & Mika

[Luvparrots]

Sheer eloquence!!! What exactly did you do in your other life Dr. Flock??? Bravo, Bravo!!!

[BaxtersMom]

{Feel-good-0002006E} I loved it! I thought I was keeping it a secret that I am/was wierd. Now you have blown all our covers. :woohoo:

[judygram]

What a laugh you have brought to my face, I can always count on you for your humor and wit and you did not let me down, thanks for sharing that with us Dave, I love it and you too.:kiss:

[she]

I love it Dave. Every word is true. It all applies to me.

[Gryphon]

Wait...there are "normal" people?

 

How was the casserole?

[Lyric]

This is so funny, funny but true too. I love your sense of humor.

And yes, I also fit the description to a T.

[Talon]

Gryphon wrote:

Wait...there are "normal" people?

 

 

NORMAL........what is that? Don't you know you are on a "bird" forum. There is no such thing as that word here! :laugh: :laugh: <br><br>Post edited by: Talon, at: 2008/11/11 23:01

[danmcq]

Dave,

 

Great post and highly intelligent of you to post this subversive material here in the off-topics room where our Parrots never venture due to the boring dibble-drabble they have seen here and thus stopped monitoring it. They do however keenly watch the main Grey Forum Page and unite against us at the slightest indication that we have figured out a new way to try and overcome their bad habits and disgusting disregard for our feelings. They all agree on equal and opposite reactions than what we are expecting to throw us off.

 

It will take us all a long time to crawl out of this box they have placed us in, but I know we can all do it with secret support group meetings and the 12 step plan implemented. ;-)<br><br>Post edited by: danmcq, at: 2008/11/12 21:07

[Patsy]

{Feel-good-0002006E} OMG - you mean wanting to build a separate house complete with porch for your parrot isn't something normal folks would do!!! Ha Ha. Guess I knew I wasn't normal.

[Mistyparrot]

You are so wrong Dave. Misty has informed me that only parrot people are normal! The rest are poor unenlightened fools who have yet to experience their epiphany. I can only hope your parrots treat you with compassion and guide you back to the correct path before you are forever lost.

:ohmy:

 

Steve n Misty

[HeatherStrella]

You'll never see a dog person made misty eyed by the beauty of their pet slowly lifting its leg.

 

I am such a sucker for this!!! Perfect...I can totally relate...good job

[rierie]

being a new parrot pet owner... I see a lot of me in that... I just rearranged the furniture in the whole house so Charlie could have a living room wall for his cage... and so I can put a playstand in the dining room, as soon as I figure out how to make one, or buy one.... keeping charlie in mind..

[Tycos_mom]

Sounds about right to me. perfectly normal.:laugh: :laugh:

[kittykittykitty]

Sorry I didn't get to this sooner! Of course we are the normal ones or we wouldn't have allowed ourselves to be owned by these wonderful creatures in the first place!!! We knew in advance what adventure meant and we were willing to take the chance!:ohmy: :lol: :cheer: