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getting my bird to bond


julie41

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hi ive just bought a african grey parrot called charlie, hes four years old and apparently has only been used to a male handling him.Ive always loved these birds and now ive got one i dont want to get it wrong, at first he would take treats off me and come out of his cage, now he wont take any treats and will not come out of his cage, i am worried he will never bond with me, he really bites so i would appreciate any advice i can get. thank you

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hiCaroline,

 

Ive had charlie a month now, and he was Dna'd a male, i dont no much about his past really, but the man i bought him off said he hated his ex girlfriend, for what reason i do not no, they since split up and i felt charlie had just been left, the man wasn't in the same house, so my opion was that he was a bit neglected because i didnt notice till i got him home he'd plucked some chest feathers off

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I wonder why he hated the ex girlfriend? Did she do something to upset him?

Some people believe that greys bond to the opposite sex but this is not true in all cases.

Other members have greys of the same sex and dont have any problems.

A month is still early days,spend time sitting next to his cage and just talking to him, offer him treats and just try to build up some trust.

You have got to remember, even though he may have been neglected that was his home and what he was used to.

The plucking issue, has he plucked since he has been with you? Have you taken him for a check at the vets?

It could have been due to stress or boredom if he had been neglected, get him registered with a good avian vet and maybe give them a ring for some advice on taking him for a check up.

I hope things will work out fine for you both, others will offer more advice and read through all the threads on here that may help you.

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You probably already do this but talk to him every day in a nice soft tone. I've only had Baxter about 2 months now and I noticed some days he just does not want to be messed with at all and wouldn't take things or step up. I learned to leave him alone more on some of those days with no pressure or even asking anything of him. He's still like that, some days he just wants to be by himself and if I force things on him, he just gets worse. My feelings of course did get hurt on some days and I would be upset and leave him more while I pouted then a day or two later with no pressure from me, he'd get and still gets curios and wants to interact with me. I know the biting is bad and painful. Baxter had me bleeding daily the first week but do not show fear! Once they know you are scared of him, I would think it would be very hard to bond.

 

Does he know how to step up yet? I know he's older but Baxter was 12 years old when he came to live with me and he didn't know how to step up. Once he learned that it made life so much more pleasant for both of us. :) Once he learned that we have really made huge accomplishments.:)

Don't give up..Keep us posted.

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I dont no why he hated her, he didn't really explain that so i can't comment.I will try your advice and i will ring the vets tomorrow, i will do all i can to help him, but he does draw blood when he bites so i do find it very difficult to keep my hands there but i will persist. He has plucked the accasional feather out.Thank you for your advice its much appreciated.

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I do talk to him quite alot but i do no when hes had enough because he turns his back on me so i respect his mood and leave him alone, i don't understand why he won't take treats of me now when he did when i first had him, but i am hopeful at winning him ova, thanks for all advice and i will keep you posted

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Hi Julie & Welcome.

 

Time & patience is whats needed here,from what you say i think charlie was probably bonded to the male & obviously not the female.It will take time for Charlie to trust you & gain his confidence back.As the others have said,sit near him talk to him ,about anything,the weather etc..

Is there any time in the day your around for a good few hours ? if you are then leave his cage door open,let him come out on his own accord,keeping him caged wont help the matter,as this point keep all his food inside the cage,when he is hungry he will return,but it may be a good few hours ;)

 

Have a good look around the different rooms & use the search box at the top of the page,if you enter different keywords previous posts on the particular topic your looking for will come up .

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Hi Julie and welcome to the forum.

 

Well done for taking in an older grey. The others have given excellent advice, I don't really have anything to add. But I do wish you the best with your new grey, and look forward to hearing all about your progress with him.

Siobhan

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Hello Julie and welcome to the family, so glad you could join us and we look forward to hearing more about you and Charlie.

 

You have taken on quite a task but with a lot of time and much patience you will eventually win him over. He needs time to settle in and feel comfortable with you, he may prefer males but that doesn't mean he won't bond to you.

 

Keep talking to him and get out some toys and sit in the floor and play with them, make out like you are having a ball with them, that might encourage him to want to come out and join you.

 

He is probably set in his ways but he will come around to at least accept you if not fall head over heels for you but just be patient and good things will come for you and Charlie.

 

In the meantime read thru the many threads for lots of useful information and do ask any and all questions you may have and we will help you in any way we can.

 

We would love to see some pictures of Charlie if you would like to share some with us.:)

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hi guys,

well yesterday i woke up with a positive mind to charlie after all your great advice, i sat by him for a good hour talking about everything and anything, he seemed to be enjoying my silly conversations, so then i decided id try him with a treat if he'd wave bye bye for me, which he did wih great excitement, my heart was jumping with happiness that he'd done this because on numerous occasssions before had refused, so then i left him for a while, thinking i won't push my luck and go back to him later. so i went about my business and went back later, he was still taking notice of my conversation, so i decided to open the cage to see if he'd come out which he did when i first got him, no response at all, so again i thought i'd try with another treat, this time i'd give it him in the cage, ouch he bit me, my poor hands are covered in bites, but i didnt give up, he kept biting but i did'nt move my hand, still no response, so i left him alone and this morning hes completely ignoring me. Oh well ill try again later. Thanks for all your advice its much appreciated.

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Hi Julie,

 

Your patience is paying off as is evident from the success you had yesterday with the treat and his attention. He is very intelligent and may be testing your commitment and willingness to go the extra distance for him to grace you with his attention. ;-)

 

One thing that has proven successful over and over. Is just sitting and talking, reading, watching TV etc. right next to his Cage. If you read, show him some pictures in it every once in a while when doing so.

 

To avoid further bites, try to learn reading his body language such as eyes pinning, lowering head, slightly fluffed feathers etc. Their favorite fake out is to let you think they are going for the treat and then suddenly clamping down on your finger:pinch: If possible, position your hand far enough away that he can only get the treat and not your hand. If you know he wants the treat, but tries to bite, say No Bite, step back and sit down next to the cage with the treat in clear sight to him and ask him if he wants the Peanut, Almond, Apple, Grape or what ever it is that he relishes. He may even venture out of his Cage for it, if he wants it bad enough.

 

As all have said, it is time and patience that will bring this around with a ton of love dished out and evident while interacting with him.

 

You have done a wonderful thing in rescuing this Grey, spending the money and now your time and love to help him realise that his life can be more joyful and exciting than he has ever known. :-)

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I have to say you've all given me some great advice, which i am truly thankful for, i do realise this is going to be a long proccess with charlie but i am in it for the long haul, even though ive only had him for a short time, i love him very much and he will be with me for the rest of his life and mine.Tomorrow i will be home alone, so there will be no distractions so i will be trying some of the advice given but for today im leaving him alone because i think he wants that.thanks guys.

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One piece of advice on sticking your hand inside the cage, most greys view their cage as their territory, especially an older or rehomed grey so avoid putting your hand inside his cage if you can help it until he has bonded with you, encourage him to come outside of his cage where he will be more receptive of your hand.

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I don't understand why when i first had him, he loved to come out and sit on top of the cage, he'd fly around and end up sitting on the back of the sofa, then one night he decided to take himself in on his own accord, since then ive left the cage open for long periods of time, but he doesn't want to venture out, nothing happened to scare him that i no off. could it be ive other pets, like my dog and cats? but then the man i bought him off had a cat and it used to sit by his cage and watch him, so i was told.

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great new, today charlie had been very focal, singing, talking, ive paid him so much attention today and he seemed to responsed, he even took treats off me,then tonite he came to the front of his cage and was talking to me so i opened the cage door and out he came, i was eating crisps at the time and i think he may of wanted one, but he's out, i couldn't be more happier, im nearly in tears, how sad am i but i love him and i just want him to be happy, all of the great advice is paying off, thank you all very much

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