kebbie Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 what can I do to improve my relationship with my bird? He has taken to my husband and acts so excited to see him when he walks in the room. My husband doesn't hardly play with him, only when I beg him too, and the only other thing he does is help me clean out his cage. He was taming down the first couple of weeks that I had him, but now he tries to bite at me, sometimes suceeds and leaves me in tears. I do tell him a firm no, and most of the time place him back in his cage. I want my bird to love me also. I did take him to town yesterday and have his nails clipped, but he started his behavior with my husband the night before. He will act like he is kissing him, and rub his head on him. Sad in Texas!!{Feel-bad-0002006A} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M2MM Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 According to Barbara Heidenreich (in "Good Bird!"): "...it is best to have the bonded person refrain from such interaction with your bird. The bonded person can clean the cage and put in fresh food and water, however, the less interaction the better." I take this to mean, that although you want your bird to be friends with your husband, it is better for you if he refrains from all interaction with your bird, until you have re-established a loving relationship with him yourself. You need to work with the bird more, making all interaction with you fun and interesting. Let your husband "off the hook" and tell him to deliberately ignore the bird, until he's behaving better toward you. Keep us posted on your progress.<br><br>Post edited by: M2MM, at: 2008/06/28 20:23 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M2MM Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 ignore - duplication<br><br>Post edited by: M2MM, at: 2008/06/28 20:21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Many Greys will normally bond very closely with one person. There is not much you can do to change their "Favorite". You can however improve your relationship with him by just being willing to accept his time, scratches etc on his terms. Just keep offering him treats, the option to step-up etc. Have` your hubby hand the Grey over to you. The first thing he may do of course, is look at you for a minute and then fly back to your husband. Just have your husband again hand the Grey back to you. This will establish the fact that it is ok with your hubby for the Grey to be with you even when he is present. Be happy to have him just sit with you and "Preen" if he does not want scratches at the moment or to play. Let him feel safe in the fact that he can just "Perch" on your leg, hand or arm and preen or relax without being bothered. Time, patience and consistency is the only thing that will improve this. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kebbie Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 thanks. I guess one thing that I can do to cause him to dislike my husband so much is by letting my husband be the one to spray him with the water.:evil: He absolutely hates this. If you could see evil coming out of his eyes, this would be the one thing to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tycos_mom Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 I agree if your husband can't be bothered most of the time anyway ask him no to pay any attention to your bird that way your bird will pnly have you to turn to for attention and thats what you want. I know the same thing was happening with my 20 year old daughter and my bird. then when she finally moved out me and Tyco have gotten much closer. But when she come home for a visit that bird gets so excited she bobs her head and wants to play. The thing that bothered me about her likeing my daughter so much is she was the first one to say get rid of that bird its mean when Tyco bit my little Green cheeked conures beak off. My daughter hated Tyco and thought she was the most horrible bird in the world I don't now why they always go for the person that like them the least Tyco knows now that shes not going to be there for her and has really started to be a good bird with me she finally lets me give her scritches and she loves to play games. she is such a sweety don't worry your bird will come around in time it just might take some time and patients with you alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kebbie Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 Not to mention bites!!! Ouch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NLJohnso Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Glad you posted this question Kebbie, as my boyfriend is Zazu's favorite right now and I was sad about this (in the same situation as you are!!). Kudos for you Kebbie! Thanks to everyone for the good advice. Everyone on here is so helpful and positive. Glad I found this website! B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lupa Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 The same happened with me, Shani at first was just cautious about me, now she wont let me even touch her. She loves my boyfriend. At first I tried really hard to bond with her but no luck, i still work with her everyday but in a way I have just let her be in the hope that she will one day see the light and choose me as the favorite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane08 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I know it is hard but please don't get upset about them liking another someone else, you can still build a relationship with them. My boyfriend bought his first grey for himself and in 3 days the bird fell in love with me and my boyfriend was devastated (even cried, hehe). We did exactly what M2MM posted and I backed off and let my boyfriend feed the bird all treats and the once a day hand feeding that we have always continued with to help with bonding. My boyfriend did everything for that bird and dedicated a lot of time, cleaned the cage, trained him to step up etc for about 3 months and finally there was a break through and they developed a relationship that my boyfriend is happy with. It takes a lot of time and patience but it can happen. It got to the point where my boyfriend would say to the grey do you want formula and he knew exactly what that meant and would fly to my boyfriend and snuggle with him and then he would get formula. I really think for us that my boyfriend spending a lot of time training the bird really helped. Just training normal stuff like to step up. It will get better I promise you, if you are patient and spend a lot of time working on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Tuki loves my boyfriend to bits and seems to dislike me! He lets him scratch him and touch him anywhere! If I try to scratch him, he puts his head down then bites me! It feels horrible! Especially when you've wanted one for years and it's your bird and you do everything for it! It is very true that they seem to love the person that least likes them! Very strange! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kebbie Posted July 3, 2008 Author Share Posted July 3, 2008 yeah, I know what you mean, but try this.....I found a strategy that almost everytime works. Make your boyfriend get down on his knees, and then try to take you bird from him. I have really seen the dominance factor in my bird. My husband is taller, therefore, he likes his shoulder better because it is taller. His cage is taller than I am when I am standing up, so I have to get a chair, and make him waist high to me, and he will almost everytime step up to me when I do that. Try it and see if that works. I have been able to handle him a little better, and he hasn't bit me in two days, but I still cannot rub on him at all, except his head occasionally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M2MM Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Greys really don't have dominance issues, but they DO like to be on a higher shoulder to get the best view. Kumiko is not partial to my son in general, but if he's standing near me, Kumiko will sometimes go to his shoulder (he's a head taller than me.) But if my son starts walking away, Kumiko will fly back to me. He also has lots of very high perches but only flies to them if frightened, and I never have any trouble getting him down. A bird with dominance issues is very difficult to retrieve from a high place (my parrotlets, for instance. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anmlhggr Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Oh, this post was so good to read! My Grey, while not loooving my boyfriend, doesn't seem to really like me lol Now, I've only had him for about two weeks, but he still won't let rub his head or anything other than step up. Now I know some tricks though, mwahaha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kittykittykitty Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 I thought all parrots, Greys included, expressed a preference. It's good to know height has a lot to do with it. One book I read advised to not allow the bird to sit on the shoulder because of the dominence issue. kittykittykitty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M2MM Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Anmlhggr wrote: Oh, this post was so good to read! My Grey, while not loooving my boyfriend, doesn't seem to really like me lol Now, I've only had him for about two weeks, but he still won't let rub his head or anything other than step up. Now I know some tricks though, mwahaha! Kumiko didn't let me skritch his head until after his first vet visit. The vet was so comfortable with handling him, she picked him up and snuggled with him and rub his head. Afterwards, Kumiko would let me do the same. Maybe it just take once to get the Grey to accept affection from someone other than their breeder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 This happened to my husband and I with his Macaw. I was the fav. I had to pretty much leave her alone so he could establish a better relationship. It worked after time. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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