Reality Check on Life - and Parrots!

[MattSacks]

Okay - there is a lot of discussion (mostly heated!) - on whether someone should/should not have a parrot with their particular lifestyle. (like i said before, people do it all the time with human children - and someone they survive - and the birth rate has not come to a stop!)

Folks consider this:

Has anyone here had a change in lifestyle (simple or catastrophic)? had to move? gotten divorced/separated? jobs at different hours (like first shift to third or something?) has someone lost a family member living with them? a major illness or accident? new baby? other new pet?

So many things can happen - as they have had to me.

Life is uncertain, and it changes. how many of us have parrots that will outlive us (if cared for properly)?

This could be one huge post if i went on and on about the changes that happen - to everyone - at some time or another.

If there is anyone here who has NOT had a life-altering situation happen - that would be extremely RARE and not the norm. if you have a happy, well-adjusted, socialized parrot (and YES, i am redunant on the IMPORTANCE of a socialzed bird!) - s/he will adapt.

Can we look at our `babies` in the face - right now - and promise s/he that our lives will not be disrupted is some way? - that no one in the family will `go away` (divorce, separation, leaving for any reason, dying, etc.) - our job hours will not change - if we have been home all day - and now suddenly will not be? - or - sorry, baby Grey - i used to be home during the day - but now will home at night only - or that I (owner) - will never get sick, or incapacitated or injured and will not be able to take care of you - so you`d better get over it now and `adjust` - or promise your grey that you WILL outlive her/him - so her/his life will NEVER have any change/adjustments to make? Or even the simple fact that i will ever move, move the furniture or redecorate (some greys *really* don`t like those changes either! - look at the posts of people who have greys that are *terrified* of a new toy?) well - we CAN`T promise that! not to our `humans` or to our pets!

Keep a positive, happy outlook - and RELAX - if you are, your `baby` should as well.

There are NO guarantees in life! We can`t promise ANYTHING - today or tomorrow. Hey! yesterday we did not even have a clue as to what today would bring!

Life carries a risk - a lot of risk.

We marry - and promise it will last a lifetime. (how many do?) we have children - what a risk there! WE have `steady jobs` - but hey! we`ve seen what has happened to millions there! we have other pets - they may not have as long a lifespan - but they are due the respect and diligence we give to our parrots -

Owning a parrot is a risk in many ways - it doesn`t always work out. (and i`m sure a majority of you have read about birds dying within weeks after coming to a new owner - and other devastating stories).

Whether someone has a `lifestyle` that `suits` a parrot - well, as we`ve seen that has been debated - and debated - and debated............

Who here can GUARANTEE - write in stone - write in blood - that THEIR lifestyle is NEVER going to change - EVERYTHNG with be STATUS QUO - from now until the end of the GREY`S natural end of life???? be prepared - be vigilant - change does happen.

Anybody forget what has already happened we thought `could never happen`????

A well-adjusted bird is not a neurotic bird. S/her can adapt/adjust. Sometimes it seems as if we `don`t want them to` - or we feel that NO ONE can take care of our baby(ies) better than we can!

Treat your parrot as you would anyone else - with love, care, respect, hope, and HAVE FAITH.

And if someone (anyone) here doesn`t think they will NEVER need help - well, i don`t/won`t believe that - EVER! for a quote "Even chaos has a pattern"......

Go give your Grey a cuddle and kiss - and just promise them you will try not to let them down - and maybe they`ll promise the same back to you!!!! :-) leicarose

[killah]

I am not trying to gain any brownie points or anything, because I know that my concern is for Tsunami, and not to win an Alt.Pets popularity contest, but I appreciate your point of view, er... philosophy if you will. Life does change, catastrophes do happen, but from my vantage point, I really think things happen for reasons (though not always explainable).

Bringing Tsunami into my life may have spawned from an erratic choice, but looking back, so many variables led me to that path. One day, I will tell you that story.

Tsunami is HUGE! There are serious forces beyond me that provided this gift in my life. And that is how I view him... a gift. I have learned that there will be trials for me. I will have to learn patience, unconditional love, and who knows what else, or to what end. I gather Tsunami will be my teacher of these things. How precious is that?

Though this is not how I planned it to be, God must think I can handle it, so I`m gonna!

[psychotree]

Good points, leicarose.

On the other hand, we all do check the weather report before venturing out. If it`s gonna rain, we cancel the picnic.

Unexpected changes can be a bitch. Anticipated problems can be avoided.

[MattSacks]

First, forgive my use/lack of use of the caps key. I have several injured fingers that aren`t quite up to speed (my usual 150 wpm!)....and NO, not from beak bites! :-)

Now and then we ALL need a reality check! Especially the events of these recent times - 911, kidnappings of children, unstable conditions in practically every part of the world, the rising health risks, and on and on.

Sometimes we become too `complacent` and tend to fall into our `comfort zones`. anyway,

I, too, have an incredible story about coming to own my CAG`s, other parrots, etc. There is NO WAY I would/could EVER have seen any of this coming! And if i had i would NEVER have believed it!

I did not know i could love/care for `another` (non human-type involves more miracles than i could ever possibly deserve - and wonder to this day WHY I GOT THEM! (the miracles!).

If i get bold enough, i may put it all up on tobynet.com ....we`ll see how vulnerable i want to be online! Yikes!

And guess what? Out of all the birds i`ve had over the years the one i did NOT want - was? an African Grey! (yup! you guessed it! another LOONNNGGGG story!).

Don`t worry - i won`t bore you people here with that! :-)

Sometimes when i`m having a really bad day (or longer!) - and i think "GEE my life SO sucks!" - i scoop up little Toby to lay on the couch with me and he`ll look up at me and say "Who loves Toby? MOMMY"........then i smile. .....but what a journey it`s been. ...........and i wonder where i go from here...... leicarose ever hear any variations on this?

She is not quite what you would call refined, she is not quite what you would call unrefined - She is the kind of woman who would keep a parrot. Mark Twain

[MattSacks]

How timely your analogy! :-)

Our state-wide bird club held a picnic a few Sunday`s ago. I didn`t check the weather. Sure, it was the middle of August - and we can anticipate some hot days in August - but whoa!!!! - ended up high 90`s with terrific humidity! - which continued for about 10 days! (but still hot and muggy - just no heat index over 108 degrees!)..had i checked the weather i would NOT have gone!

We were in the shade - but walking thru the burning bright sun and hot pavement was NO picnic! (pun?) - as i made my way thru with 2 parrots (AG, bare-eyed) - you could hear this noisy (to some) surreal cacaphony of `sounds` - all the various species of parrots talking, screeching, exclaiming loudly how much fun THEY were having!

It was a blast! But i nearly melted into a puddle. Spray bottles abounded for the parrots used to air conditioning :-)......we could have used a hose!

Next year, i hope they `anticipate` our New England weather and have it in October or April! (now, we will probably have a blizzard for the Christmas party!)...... ...now i could `anticipate` all of this - by moving to the San Francisco area ! :-)

Oh WHY isn`t life perfect???? (hm....where is that number for the psychic hot line???) thanks for the memory and the laugh! leicarose (awaiting the `leaf season`.)

[younger]

being very very fit, to having health problems , lots of pain, less mobility etc. The nature of things here, mean that new animals arrive occasionally. However, whatever happend, I made sure that my animals and birds routine stayed as unchenged as possible. . death.If I were to die, and I don`t intend to do that for many many years, my son gets the house and all the animals.

But the point is, that if you *already* have a pet and something untoward happens and things change, that may be unavoidable. However to bring a pet into an unsuitable situation, bad household, owner with insufficient time whatever, *that* is bad, and entirely avoidable and irresponsible.

[younger]

Your whole stance on it is selfish. *you* view him as a gift. There will be trials for *you*?? You better believe that his trials are going to be bigger. I hope that when you have messed him up and started him plucking and screaming because of a lack of stability in his life, you manage to find someone more able to care for this bird as it should be cared for.

[pjsterner]

warm little toes wrap around my finger I can`t but help feel honored and blessed that this wonderful little creature does this. Maybe I`ll become desensitized over time, but at year 7 the feeling isn`t going away and gets stronger as he expresses his enjoyment in our company.

Do other people`s birds communicate a particular happy noise when stepping up, or in our case when we enter the kitchen in the middle of the night or let him out of his cage when we arrive home from work? Chumba makes a noise that can best be described as water going down the drain. A glug, glug.

[habakuk]

Bey the Greyt glug-glugs too. Mostly if he gets a <gasp!> feather or other bit of debris in his water dish. He`ll yell "WATER!" to his servants (once I had the audacity to inform him I`d just GIVEN him fresh water, to which he replied, "No, MORE water!"), and as we bring him a fresh dish on a gold platter he does the glug glug noise.

[younger]

right now. My past greys have made water glugging noises when they wanted a drink. Cuppy *does* know `foot` though which is cute but not very useful lol. If I ask him for his foot, he obliges and gives me a foot to hold. I have a little dog here which sneezes on command too. Not your normal "sit" or "stay" in *this* household hehe.

[killah]

oldmolly... I wish not to provoke you by saying this, but your opening yourself up for heavy scrutiny by mentioning your personal life (i.e. having two divorces). I have had parents who went through a bitter divorce, so I know this well, so you will get no scrutiny from me.

But concerning your point about bringing Tsunami into an already "questionable" lifestyle... well... you are right! I find it less than ideal also, which is why I am asking for help from all the sources I can muster. No, you don`t have to help, nobody really has to help, but I think there are alot of people who want to. I have read numerous posts by you for other threads, and I know you have much experience and advice to offer. If you don`t wish to because your angry that I have gotten myself into this situation, then just say so.

I realize the time for me to own a Grey is not necessarily "right," but it isn`t exactly wrong either. I believe that is only for myself and Tsunami to be the judge of. (of course I very much welcome everyone`s opinions... er try to anyway) And though my schedule is not "ideal," it is not terribly aweful! I am open to the prospect that many forces beyond us brought Tsunami before me, and I before him. Like Don Hess wrote... "You are in for a long and interesting journey." So is Tsunami.

[killah]

To further the analogy, well, I took off without checking the weather first! Could be in for rain, could be in for sunny weather... either way, I expect some turbulence along the way.

[younger]

about an hour with number 1. Cannot see that my inability to stay married has to do with anything though.

[Jepri]

Mine gives an affirmative `quack` whenever she is complimented, she`s so full of it! tika

[MattSacks]

When i leave the house Sophie (my oldest CAG) - starts in with: "mommy`s going to the mall.....mommy`s going shopping.....mommy`s going to school....mommy`s going to work".........Toby says"bye bye car!" (he usually goes with me EVERYWHERE) "bye bye - be back SOON!"......When i return, before i enter the house i can already hear the two of them "MOMMY`S HOME! MOMMY`S HOME!"........

At bedtime, Sophie WON`T/CAN`T stop saying `Night angel, night sweetheart...night night...i love you.`.......over and over and over.....doesn`t matter if the lights are out and the house is pitch black!

Toby just usually says "night night" - because he is quite put out he is going into his cage - and not sleeping on the bed! (we cuddle every night before bed, and he lays next to me with his head on the pillow - he`ll fall asleep and i usually have to wake him up to put him in his cage - so he is quite `put out`.... :-) my cocatoo screams - he HATES going to bed! my other two CAG`s - breeders - who have only been here a month - whistle, call, also the male goes `glump glump glump` - or some water noise (the previous owner housed them in a basement!)...and various noises. They of course want their heads scratched - by hearing my `night nights` to the others (they are in another room) - I can see on my video monitor the two of them run to the end of the perch and stare at the door....

They are precious, aren`t they? (and i don`t mean mine - i mean ALL OF OURS!) leicarose

[MattSacks]

(snippedy snippedy snip)>

My life completely turned upside down (too long of story) - and my pets lives (including the cats, etc.) - turned upside down. There was no avoiding it. I am different - they are the same. They were fine before, fine now. I`m not, but they are. They went with the flow. They are not as delicate as some believe (but my parrots are used to `change` - because they experience it every day!)

 

<snip snip>

Still, people do it by bringing `human` children into the world every day! Not only that, but many bring others - unsavory-types - into their homes and expose their pets to them. You think they aren`t affected????

A pet brought into the situation you describe above may just turn out to be an extraordinary pet overall! He/she will probably accept change, new people, new environments, sounds, situations, routines that will be NORMAL, COMMONPLACE, and the `EXPECTED` - as s/he will come to see. I don`t think parrots (or other pets) are neurotic at birth. Humans make them so. Some make their pets downright `edgy, nervous, high-strung, antisocial, skittish, afraid of new (put anything here).......and on and on. i`ll end here to keep it brief - what is `routine` to one is not `routine` to another. even chaos has a pattern.