New member. Need your advice

[WikiV]

Hi all. New member here, saying hi from Santa Clara, CA. I grew up with an African Grey and it was my best friend. It accidentally flew away when I was at college and my mom was devastated to say the least.

 

Well, now I have my own family and I want to get another African Grey. But I have a problem. My wife never had a bird or even interacted with one. She is making every excuse why we shouldn't get one. I am sure I am being on the extreme of getting one but she is not even budging.

 

Any suggestions? I have my heart set, especially seeing the Grey videos on YouTube and remember what awesome companions they are.

 

Thanks,

 

WikiV

[siobha9]

Hi WikiV,

 

Like your story my husband had never had a bird, wasnt interested in one, and thought I was MAD to consider spending such huge money on a pet. If I have to be honest there were some tantrums, and some sulks, and eventually he gave in and let me get my first grey.

 

He was absolutely fascinated to the extent that less than a year later he bought his own Grey!

 

So you might be surprised!

[judygram]

Hello WikiV and welcome to the family, so glad you decided to join us and we look forward to hearing more about you and your quest for another grey.

 

I understand how you feel about the greys, once you have had one you know what awesome creatures they are and want one to be part of your life. I think your wife would come around if you did bring one into the house, they grow on you real quick.

 

I am sure there have been things that she wanted real badly and got it so why can't you have something you have been wanting. My husband wasn't real keen on my getting my grey but I didn't let that stop me, if I want something badly enough I am going to get it and if he should say I can't then I am going to get it just to spite him but that is how I am, may not work for you.

 

What kind of excuses is she using to talk you out of it? Maybe we can help you with that. Since you have previously had one you know what all is involved in keeping one.

 

Take a little time and read thru the many threads for lots of useful information and do ask questions you may have. We will do our best to get you some answers and help you in any way we can.

 

Good luck to you in your pursuit of grey ownership, I think we can win her over if you give us a chance.

[casper]

Ditto, My husband was the same. He doesnt have a lot of contact with Charlie. He will feed him on a morning and likes to sit in the chair with Charlie when he is out, but he is fascinated by him and how he has changed and developed since we bought him as a baby. Do you have any friends who have birds and maybe your wife could spend time with them and maybe change her mind a little bit? Buy some books for her to read or get her to look on the net. Maybe if she learns a bit more about greys it might just sway her a bit. Good luck. Caroline

[WikiV]

Thanks for your responses.

 

[start venting]

 

I think the big problem is she doesn't know anything about birds, just pigeons you see on the street. My family has always had birds. Including my aunts, grandparents. I think its a South Florida thing. My wife's family is from the San Francisco bay area, and they never had birds. I'm not saying that Bay area people don't have birds, but I think the weather in South Florida makes it easier to have birds for more people because they can be outside more.

 

Some of her excuses are that we don't have time. But yet we sit and watch TV for 1 - 3 hours a night after our kids go to sleep. She says money also, but I just got an unexpected bonus at work yesterday which would cover the Grey and cage (it's funny how things work out like that). She also says we don't have room in the living room for the cage, but that won't be a problem at all. We do have the room. I think she just doesn't want a cage in the living room. She never had a nice parrot cage in her house. I think it will look very nice.

 

I tell her she won't have to do anything for the Grey. I wish she would just accept cause it's putting a strain on everything.

 

[end venting]

 

Thanks.

[judygram]

You do have time for birds, its not like you have to to spend all that time with the bird right there in front of you, a lot of the time will be spent just being in the same room with you since they are flock creatures.

 

You do have the money but then she may have other ideas for that (I know I am a woman) but this is something you really want and I think you should have it.

 

She probably doesn't envision a cage as part of the home decor but I didn't much like having mounted animals as part of my decor but they are there for my husband is a hunter so I live with it, of course my 2 cages (I have 2 parrots) are part of that family room too so my Josey has 2 mounted turkeys on the wall over where her cage is:S

 

Funny thing is if you go ahead and get the grey she will probably end up falling in love with it and then problem solved but I hate to see you give up something you have wanted for so long, she needs to give a little, thats what marriage is, give and take. But then we are on your side.

[lovemyGreys]

Hi WikiV & Welcome. The others have offered great advice & support, so i shall only add that i hope you win her around

[sandra902]

big daddy was not overly enthusiastic about merlin, but we spent a lot of time talking about it and i just kept giving him good information for each question he asked.

 

daddy does not begrudge me anything really, he just wants to be sure everything is well thought out and not just a whim.

 

and of course as good fortune would have it, merlin prefers him to me!

 

and daddy-man is behind our next bird-to be who comes home from rescue/foster in may. but for me to tell you any more would be hijacking this fine thread.

 

anyway, wikiV, just keep talking and no pouting or bullying or there will be lots of bad vibes when birdy comes home.

 

perhaps exposing your good wife to some well behaved birdies at a bird show or seminar will enchant her!

[Guest]

WikiV, welcome here It's good to have you join us!

[danmcq]

Welcome WikiV!!

 

I am from the bay area also, San Jose. I still work there 3 to 5 week days, each week. There are MANY Parrot owners in the bay area and also Avian Vets that specialize in them.

 

It's your Bonus, consider the Grey as your reward for hard work, a job well done and also that you want to share your childhood memories with your children and let them experience the joy and responsibilities of owning a Parrot.

 

The first time your new baby Grey snuggles with your wife, she will melt, you will become the other bird owner your wife lets you have Grey time occasionally.

 

Again, welcome!!

[nevjoe]

WELCOME TO THE FORUM. It's nice to have you with us.

 

Joe