goldn1 Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Help please. I've been doing a ton of research, read two books on the subject, ordered two more, looked everywhere online and I can't seem to get a verifiable opinion anywhere. Dorian will NOT let us get anywhere near her, she makes her "go away" noise (sounds like a coffee pot gurgling) and fluffs up if she even thinks we're going to come near her. One book said we should take our time, let her learn to trust us, give her options and let her come to us by rewarding her with food. Another article online said that we should use two sticks in an enclosed bedroom/bathroom and pursue her until she learns to step up. These are of course, short versions of the theories. I honestly don't want to make things worse for her, I'm concerned letting her do this in her own time will mean she never does and she'll be stuck in that cage for the next 50 years! I'm also concerned that chasing her around a bedroom with two sticks and telling her to step up will make her fear us even worse than she already does. Do any of you have experience with a bird that is terrified of you, and hates people? I know each bird is different, but she's already been so tortured I'd hate to make things even worse by picking the wrong option. I'm willing to be patient if that's what it takes, I just don't want her to be stuck in a cage forever and she really needs to go have a vet check her out (she hasn't been in over three years apparently) so we need to be able to handle her. Help! Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casper Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Hi there, how long have you had Dorian for. I am going to read your first post and get more information. Caroline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldn1 Posted April 1, 2008 Author Share Posted April 1, 2008 Caroline, Less than a week at this point, so I know it's early days, but the "stick guy" seems to think the longer you let it go the more likely it won't change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casper Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Okay, I am not an expert with older birds I got Charlie when he was a baby. I think Dorian needs to learn to trust you and get familiar with her new family and surroundings before you start to do any training. The step up command is important not only to handle your bird safely and in emergency situations but she sounds like she has not had a lot of human contact and really needs to gain your trust. Take your time, offer treats, sit near the cage and talk and just let her get used to you being there. Are you in touch with an avian vet? Have you enquired if they could possibly do a home visit? I think it is going to be a long journey but I can tell your determination and your heart is def in the right place:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 I echo Caroline's suggestions, this bird needs to be able to trust you and it won't be an easy or short journey but you sound like you really do want to help Dorian so be patient because it will require lots of time. Tracy aka Lovemygreys will be able to provide some excellent advice also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Hello goldn one, Yes, I have had experience with a Parrot terrified of me and still have him. :-) You need to just have patience (months maybe) and slowly get Dorian used to you being close. Sit in the room reading a book next to his cage or maybe 10 feet away, then move to 5 feet away then a foot away. He will slowly understand that you being near does not pose a threat. This is the first hurdle to get over. The next step is getting him trained to "Step-up" which will take time to get him used to your hand. You could start out by trying to get him to step-up on to a perch held by your hand. Short the length between where your hand is in relation to where he steps up at and finally he will need to step up almost touching your hand and eventually replace the stick/perch with just your hand. These things will only come with time, patience, love and building trust. It will not happen in just one or two weeks. The nice thing is, you are already enjoying his intelligence, wit and humor. :-) he is enjoying a stable home that gives him attention and love!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemyGreys Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 goldn1 firstly take a deep breath, sit down & we will work through this & ignore the stick guy that approach will terrify Dorian even more ! Right i do have experience of a terrified grey who is petrified of hands,humans approaching etc..It is very early days & it is going to take time & patiences on both parts here to build up trust with eachother.I understand you want her to come out of the cage, so that's where we will start .Leave the cage door open, does the cage have a gym area or an open top ? or do you have a play stand near the cage ? given time curiosity will get the better of dorian & im sure she will come out,leave her to climb up on wherever she is comfortable,dont worry at this point about getting her back in, i can assure you when she is hungry she will find her way back in, so it's important at this stage not to feed her anything outside the cage.The second night i had my wild grey he refused to go down for his food & i slept on the sofa all night long,but hunger & food will always lure them back Right so for now if your home now all day & dont need to go out, i would go open that door,your gonna have to start somewhere & if need be ill be here all day whit you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 lovemyGreys wrote: Right so for now if your home now all day & dont need to go out, i would go open that door,your gonna have to start somewhere & if need be ill be here all day whit you Now this is a warm, caring and dedicated woman that you can put your trust in, thank you Tracy.:kiss: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemyGreys Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Pam here is very good link on teaching the step up method... http://exoticpets.about.com/od/behavior/f/birdstepup.htm This one is about your greys body language... http://www.greyforums.net/forums/african-grey/70476-your-greys-body-language.html This one is for using the towelling method which may be necessary as you are unable to have contact with Dorian,i do know of people that have had success with it,but please read it & consider if it is right for you... http://training-parrots.blogspot.com/2007/02/towel-parrot-taming-method.html Pam it may be as it was in my case that even after all the love,time & patience Dorian may ever only move a few steps forward,My grey was content to come out of the cage on his own accord,sit on top of his cage all day & watch the world go by. You dont love them any less because of it.The growling did stop & he was happy to accept treats from my hand but we can go in to this deeper later on.<br><br>Post edited by: lovemyGreys, at: 2008/04/01 16:19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldn1 Posted April 1, 2008 Author Share Posted April 1, 2008 Thank you all!!! She did come out the second day we had her, my son came in the house and she freaked out a bit so we ended up having to towel her to get her back in the cage. Since then she hasn't been interested in coming back out, which I've tried for the last couple days again. I will keep trying as that seems to be the less stressful suggestion/method for her that I've seen. I work all day, although my fiance' is home with her all day so she's getting used to him too. Most of my time with her is in the evening when she actually is the most vocal and seems the most willing to let us be anywhere near her, which is good. Tracy, thank you for all the good advice, the help and the offer to sit with me all day . I appreciate it, and may take you up on it as soon as I get a day off. I'm not concerned about her being a lovey dovey bird, considering what she's been through I think letting us touch her without trying to take our hand off would be such amazing progress I couldn't ask for more. Toweling her is out of the question unless it's an extreme emergency, that is what got her in this state to begin with . I will check out those other sites, as soon as I get a chance. Her cage does have an open top, with just a perch that can go up there. I was waiting to get her a playstand until I could get her out, but didn't consider she might come out if she had something to play on........duh! lol I'll get her one as soon as I can. Caroline, we don't have an avian vet for her yet, but her beak is overgrown in one spot and not sitting right and since it's been so long since she's been to a vet and she has a curvature of the spine I feel that we should have her checked out for at least a clean bill of health before too much longer. A home visit is a great suggestion and I'll start calling around as soon as possible. Dan, thank you for the encouragement and the suggestions. I know this is going to take a lot of time and patience I just am nervous about making matters worse for her since she's already been through so much. It would be so much easier if she could just tell me how to make it better, but I guess that's out of the question although she does certainly let me know when she is unhappy! Thanks again all! I'm so glad I found this forum, I have a feeling you're going to be invaluable for me and for Dorian. She won't be able to thank you for helping to make her life better, but I certainly will! Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemyGreys Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Pam you can always attach an additional perch on the side of the cage & add toys,thats what i did.dorian will find her own comfort zone A vet visit is a must for her, i know here in the UK you can get them to come out & i think that would be best for Dorian. Any additional worries Pam you just yell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldn1 Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 Amazing!!! I go home early this afternoon cause I have a stupid cold, open Dorian's cage door just to see if today she'll decide to grace us with her presence. Less than a minute later she's climbing out!!!! She's been sitting on top for almost two hours now, she even played catch with the us with the ball we bought her the other day, best investment ever (it's actually a dog toy!). See the new pics and movie on my profile! I'm taking your word for the fact that she will manage to find her way back inside Tracy, she keeps trying to figure it out. I did put my hand out to see what her reaction would be, she didn't try to take my hand off, but she made sure I knew it wasn't gonna happen. I ordered her a playstand today, hopefully once that gets here she'll be happy to stay outside of her cage longer. Anyway, thank you all for the encouragement and support! She's making amazing progress, and I'm more confident than ever that we'll be okay. Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemyGreys Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Oh Pam that is wonderful news,Im sure Dorian will return to inside when them hunger pains call Pam once you know what is dorians favourite treat,maybe a few pine nuts or sunflower seeds,offer them from your hand,the wild grey i had here with me growled like hell at first but just couldnt resist a treat from my hands Pam if you are confident around Dorian that will transmit to her too, she will pick up on it & it does rub off slightly to them. Right im off to check your profile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Thats great news Pam. :-) Your photos and videos are wonderful. Thanks for posting them. Can't wait to hear what Dorian does next. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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