danmcq Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Ok Men, were on a roll now. :-) Thats three and recruiting more. :-) Mens Rules to our women: 1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. 2. If you don’t want to dress like Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys. 3. If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way. 4. It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together. 5. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women how can we know how pretty you are? 6. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out. 7. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both. 8. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 9. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and neither do we. 10. Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. 11. When we’re turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying, "This is our exit?" is not necessary. 12. Don’t fake it. Unless your a professional actress, we know you faked it, but you didn't realize, we did too!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevjoe Posted March 7, 2008 Author Share Posted March 7, 2008 <br><br>Post edited by: nevjoe, at: 2008/04/09 09:19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronda477 Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 LMAO Dan I have to say those are good! I think I was a guy in my past life!! lmao!!!{Feel-good-0002006E} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Darn it Ronda, I meant to make the women angry B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronda477 Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 LOL Dan well maybe the rest but not this one. I told you I think I was a man in my other life lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Ok Ronda, then this ones for you too then... :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casper Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 {Feel-good-0002006E} Karma to Dan for making me laugh so much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronda477 Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 lol I think Joe can say that I think like the guys lol! Actually now that hubby has joined I think he could say the same thing lol. But don't worry I won't intrude on your guy's room lol. Just thought it was funny! Have at it boys! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Glad you thought my serious rules were funny casper Ronda, your considered one of the Guys, so hang around, I mean you can watch, I mean... you know ...stay B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevjoe Posted March 8, 2008 Author Share Posted March 8, 2008 <br><br>Post edited by: nevjoe, at: 2008/04/09 17:37 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronda477 Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 lmao Dan! And Joe lol. Well than as long as I'm welcome! Don't want to step on any toes, and would love to watch, join in, whatever lol, I'll just keep my mouth shut lol. I'm game! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronda477 Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Ok I got this in an e-mail today and thought of all you guys on here, well I guess just you three lol. It is similar to the one Dan posted but some are different lol. Here ya go! These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials .. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched We do that . 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Thanks for the support and good ones Ronda :-) Thanks for contributing!! You're definitly one of us Now, wheres the rest of them Men? Wife got ya doing house chores today? B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronda477 Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 LOL Dan How did I miss your picture??? But I think Joe, Mark and I have all learned the hard way we aren't aloud to post them lol. We could dig up a bunch for you lmao. But we got in trouble!!<br><br>Post edited by: Ronda477, at: 2008/03/08 21:33 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronda477 Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Here ya go guys thought this was kind of funny for ya Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the women's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over , so he phoned the other husband and said: "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst... my wife came home with no panties!!" "That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said..... 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevjoe Posted March 9, 2008 Author Share Posted March 9, 2008 <br><br>Post edited by: nevjoe, at: 2008/04/09 17:38 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Oh yes they can....................B) :laugh: :laugh: You GO Joe!! It's about time there was a Men's Only thread! I can't wait to watch where this goes. I'll be watching.................B) B) B) B) B) B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Attention Men ;-) 9 WORDS WOMEN USE (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. (3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.) (6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. (7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever'). (8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying UPYOURS! (9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3. * Send this to the men you know to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemyGreys Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 {Feel-good-0002006E}There good Dan & so true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Whatever!!:laugh: B) :woohoo: :side: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemyGreys Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 {Feel-good-0002006E} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Hey - Don't "Dis" our stuff .... It's the truth!! {Characters-0002005B}{Communicate-000200D6} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 We're just messing with ya, Dan, no harm in a little fun. {Feel-good-00020069} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 That was great Dan! And soooo true!! I knew I'd find Judy lurking here........B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Well looks like I ain't the only one, woman:ohmy: :whistle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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