hello.. i need some help

[adelt]

hello all.. i got an african grey yesterday. the start was really smoother than i expected. he let me scratch his head and said a few words. he is accepting my kids well. my 4 years old kid scratched his head today. what i dont know is what to do next? it seems there is a level i dont have to go through as he is calm and not screaming and seem to be happy in his new home. he is accepting orange and apple pieces from me and my wife. do you think i should wait longer to teach him to step up? or take my chance and start sooner? i was told at the bit shop that he is around one and a half year old or a bit older.

 

regards

[judygram]

Congrats on your new grey and glad to hear that it is going well for you to start out with. That is so great to hear that he is calm and accepting of your kids so soon. But I would limit the contact somewhat if the kids are very young, things may not always be so serene and a bite could be nasty for the little ones.

 

I would allow him to come out of his cage and ask him to step up, just put your hand out next to his chest but lower and say step up and see if he will. He probably already knows how to but he needs to know that you expect him to do it when you ask.

 

Greys are not known for screaming unless they are stressed out or being ignored completely, they are relatively quiet except for their talking sessions they usually get into several times a day, then they rattle off words, phrases and other random sounds one right after another.

 

Why don't you introduce yourself in the welcome room and tell us a little more about you and this grey, like what is his name?

[lovemyGreys]

Well done on your new grey, im pleased things are going well for you.AS Judy said greys tend to scream when the are scared,frightened,or if they want attention.I would start teaching him the step up now, here is a link for you...

 

http://birds.about.com/od/behaviorandtraining/ss/TeachingStepUp.htm

[adelt]

hello. Thank you for your replies. I would like to try but how can I convince him to get back to the cage? I wanted to name him silver but some how the kids called him coco so I didnt want a conflict about it and its easier for them to spell.

[danmcq]

Welcome Adelt!!

 

Since it seems you have him out of the Cage already and are scratching him, giving him snacks etc.. Where is he sitting? If on your Lap or arm cushion etc. Just slide your hand under him and tell him to Step-Up. See what he does.

 

Have the Cage door open so you can just place him straight in the cage once you have him on your Hand.

[Kibibi]

Hello and welcome The best advice for any new Grey owner is to take everything very slow. Patience is essential with everything and especially during the early stages of building a trusting relationship.

[adelt]

hello.. well i am scratching him while he is in the cage. i opened the cage door and offered him my hand he didnt seem to know what to do. he started shaking so i gave him a penut i got in my other hand and closed the cage again. brave thing to do i know .. :unsure:

[alfie2008]

hi adelt and welcome

as all have said you just have to be patient with him they are very much like kids that you just have to keep repeating yourself and all u do and eventually they will respond.jus leave door of cage open when u around and curiosity will get better of him and e will come out for you

[adelt]

hello .. thank you all for your support.. i tried again. opened the cage door and went to the next room for a minute when i came back he was on top of the cage. i gave him some corn while he is there. when he was done he went back to the cage by himself.. i will try again tomorrow and have a stick ready instead of my hand. wish me luck. thank you all again

[LisaM]

Welcome Adelt!

 

I had one parrot that for the first two days after I brought her home she was as sweet as an angel. It was almost as though it was new and a bit scary so she was putting on her best behavior (which shows that she certainly did know what that entailed). Starting day 3 she turned into a little she-devil. We continued to be consistent with her, play the eye-blinking game (search for this on the forums as there are threads about it), and gave her some more space and time. That lasted about a week and then the sweetness came back and has stayed. I think she may have just been testing her boundaries and figuring out the house rules, so to speak. She is more assertive than those first two days, but she is still very sweet.

 

Like others have said, give it time and sometimes it will seem like one-step-forward, two-steps-back...but in the end it will all be so very worth it.

 

Just wanted to let you know my story in case the same thing happens to you. It may not as yours is quite a bit younger than mine was.

 

I think it's huge that he's coming out of the cage on his own and going in on his own.

 

I would have the kids be "hands off" for now. They can do some damage to tender skin with their beaks and I'd hate for the kids to get bitten and then have them hesitant or scared around the birds. My daughter got bit by a bird when she was about 6 and it took awhile before she trusted our birds enough to handle them (we got them when she was 8). She still has differing levels of trust in each bird as she's getting quite educated at reading birdie non-verbals!

 

Good luck to you and keep us posted on progress. People on this board have encountered just about every situation imaginable and are very helpful.

 

Lisa

[adelt]

hello.. there is some changes today. he would let be barely touch his head feather and then try go back and bite me.. i gave him my finger through the cage and he gave me several bites some harder than the others but not that hard after all. i am not sure if i should continue with him to make him step up. i mean i saw in a book that its the most important thing to teach a bird in case he flied away but is it worth it to stress him to accomplish this? since this morning when i opened the door again for him and he got out i offered him a stick to bite and step up on it he jumped and flied to the couch. toke a walk on it and when i moved to the other side of the couch he jumped back to the cage and went in. i knew it was done for today. i can say he almost hate me now.

 

generally when i get close to the cage he would let me get close and he would approach to my side and climb to the higher perch and close his beak on the cage wire and i would scratch his head. some times his belly is shaking. this is normal right? i mean he is being friendly as far as he can under these circumstances ?

 

thank you all..

[judygram]

Don't push for too much too soon, you really have to take it slowly, we don't stress time and patience here for nothing, it can be your best friend in working with greys. Do not stick your finger into the cage thru the bars, they do tend to bite, you want to be offering your hand for him to step up on from the cage door.

 

Be confident when you go to have him step up, put your hand in front of him at lower chest level and gently push toward him while saying step up and see if he will do that for you. He may just need more time to adjust to his new home and feel more comfortable there.

 

He does not hate you, he just doesn't trust you yet and that will come with time, trust has to be earned it is not a given.

 

The belly shaking you describe is normal, they all do it. I think you are doing fine at this point, just keep talking to him and offering treats from time to time and he will warm up to you more as time goes by. Keep us updated on his progress.

[danmcq]

I agree with Judy. Just back off a little and just sit close to his Cage and talk to him and maybe offer a treat. Time and patience will be the healer of all here it seems.

 

I told Kim the shaking was norm several times Judy. She swears he only does it because he's afraid.....uh huh sure, he's not afraid of me. :-) I told Kim today ...just wait until he's turns two and he switched to me being his cuddle muffin ;-) B)

[LisaM]

Ditto on the time and patience. Also, try just sitting right by the cage and reading or something quiet and keeping the door open..maybe having some treats in your lap visible to him for extra motivation. He may decide to come out of his cage to the position closest to you to come to you. That would be a huge step and don't expect it immediately or even the first few times...but it will likely eventually happen. If you have a comfortable chair that you can somehow get a way that he could actually leave the cage to go to you (one of those flexible rope perches might work), that might help also.

 

Or, if he is on the floor, you could just lie on the floor with him (so you're not approaching from above like a predator) and see if he walks over to you to be "rescued" (some hate being on the floor). This would be a trust-building activity.

 

Keep your approaches slow and I agree with Judy about not putting your fingers through the cage bars.

 

Good luck and keep us posted. Let us know the things you're trying and I'm sure others will chime in with things that have worked (and haven't worked...we can learn as much from those as well!) for them.

[adelt]

thank you for your support and encouragement. i guess things will develop in a better way. leaving the cage open and let him think to come to me is a good idea. the problem i cant do this while the wife and kids are around. i am no expert as you can see but i've been reading posts here and there and a friend gave me a book about them. i can say or guess he is a happy bird. his talking sessions seems to extend day after another. new words come out every day. not any of ours but from the pet store and with the shop owner voice but its funny. i woke up today on coco voice saying: is my brother here !!! i couldn't believe it i hope he is a happy bird. one sad thing for me is i think he is bonding with my wife. last night i asked her to set next to him and talk to him. nearly when she approached him he said hello to her. and kept repeating it after her. :angry: when she went away i toke her place and tried. he responded to me as well but hmmm i guess not with the same excitement with her. i guess if i am right he will require more attention from the person he bonded with which may not happen. my wife likes all animals but from a distance.

 

sorry for the long post but i am very excited about him.

[LisaM]

It sounds like he is happy so that will help immensely in the development!

 

Unfortunately, we can't choose for our greys who they become "bonded" to. I wouldn't assume based on one evening thought that he is choosing your wife...at least yet. And even if he does, it doesn't mean you can't have a relationship with him at all.

 

I know there are threads out there about this and some folks with experience in this will likely chime in!

 

Also, your wife can interact with him by talking or sitting in the room by him providing "ambient attention". If she's not comfortable holding or skritching him, she shouldn't feel forced to because if she's tense about it he will pick up on that and may potentially bite out of nervousness...which wouldn't help the relationship between them I'm guessing!

 

I'll keep my fingers crossed that he decides you are his chosen slave! :-)

[adelt]

i opened the cage for him and he went on top of it.. gave him couple of treats.. and went back to my seat and he went down to the middle of the cage twice it looked like he was thinking to come down but then changed his mind and went up. then back into the cage.. looks promising

[judygram]

Thats good for a start, this is something that will take time and patience so look for small steps small gains but it does look promising to me too.

[adelt]

can some one please tell me how do i introduce a new toy ? i hanged it to the side of the cage to make him used to it before placing it into the cage and he went to the other direction with a scary look. i waited for a minute and removed it as i didn't want him to get stressed. any advice?

[judygram]

Put the toy close by but not in the cage for a few days if necessary and then bring closer until he is used to it's presence and then you can hang it in his cage. Some of them take a few days to a week or more to get used to a new toy, just take it gradually or you will frighten him with it and he may never like it.

[Ronda477]

Hi Adelt and Congrats on your new family member! For one is your grey a Congo or a Timneh? I have a Timneh and did a bunch of reading on the differences before I chose which one to get, for the most part it seemed besides the size difference and coloring that the Timneh seemed to be more of a family bird, now I know that any bird at a young age can be socialized and pretty much made into a family bird, but a bird that is over 1 and has been in a pet shop they could either have just been cage bound or handled by everyone. But from the sounds of it your bird hasn't been handled by a whole lot or he would know to step up.

From everything I have ever read the step up instruction we give our bird is something we should never give into. SweetHeart has been one big challenge for me. You can ask anyone on this board lol. She was 6 months when she came to us, and had a terrible flight to get to us, so we still to this day haven't had a cuddly bird or even one that will let us willingly let us pet her. So don't get discouraged from all the posts you'll read on how cuddly everyone's is, cause trust me they aren't all cuddly lol. Not to mention that they aren't really known for it anyway. But when you ask him/her to step up he must follow with that action even if he is growling at you, because if you don't than your grey will have the upper hand and know that it can get away with not doing what you ask, and the step up command is very useful for many reasons not to just hold our bird, but in case danger is in the way such as mine when she flies to another cage she can get a toe bit off, so the fact that I have never once let down on a step up command has helped save her toes lol. She knows I mean business when I say step up. Of course if yours doesn't know how yet which would be surprising if being a little over a year and he doesn't you need to be working with him on that. For now letting him come out of the cage is fine, but soon after he is settled in you will need to not let him come out on his own and get him from his perch inside the cage or he can become territorial on his cage. Meaning any little fingers such as your little childs could get bit very hard. And that just wouldn't be good. Not saying he will at all, but it happens very easily with birds that they get territorial over their cages. To see if he really knows how to step up, follow everyone's advice and put your hand in front of him and see if he will step up. If not try pushing up on his belly just a little while slightly pushing him back and he should step up, the last way to try is to almost make him feel like he is going to fall off of whatever he is standing on if he doesn't get on your hand by pushing your hand under his belly by his feet and don't stop till he gets on, it's a relatively quick motion but not to knock his feet out just quick enough where he thinks oh wow I'm gonna fall if I don't get on his hand.

As far as the toy, leave it on an end table where he can see it than after a day or so move it closer to the cage, than on the outside of the cage, than inside the cage, but this can all take 2 weeks or longer/sooner depending on he is with it. Mine freaks out as well with new things, but I place them on her play top while she is on the top perch, she stays there for a little bit just looking at it, than she comes down and will explore it. Mine is only 9 months old though so being yours is a bit older and maybe hasn't had any toys or not much of them he will be afraid, but just show him them gradually, by putting it in a place he can see even when he's in his cage so he knows it means no harm. Sorry this is soo long winded but I soooo know what you are going through, and although some have gone through some things, I am still the only one after 4 months still trying to get my baby to let me touch her. So patience is the key! Little things come every day and just don't push him too much being you just got him the other day. You have to realize it may take a bit, but taking him out every day and talking to him is a big thing. Even if he will just let you take him out and put him on his play stand or top of cage to play that is good, that's what I have done with SweetHeart just so she knows I won't push her and that I'm safe. It's slowly paying off. So just take your time and Congrats again with your new member!

[adelt]

first of all Ronda thank you for your time and reply my bird is a congo grey. i guess you are right the TAG is a more family bird i've seen a few of them before i got mine and they are so sweet. i would like to teach him to step up to get him a play stand some day. so i don't want to get into a trouble every time i have to move him between the cage and the stand. but i am not expecting any more like cuddling it. of course the age is a good factor to look at but after all each bird is a different case.

 

yesterday i thought i would be smart. i got his favorite treat and placed my hand at the cage door so if he wanted his treat he must place a foot on my hand to get it. he tried and tried but he didn't. and went back to the upper perch. so i inserted my hand in the cage and he toke it. tried again and it didn't work but i didn't give him the treat at this one but allowed him to climb out of the cage. and gave to him while he was on the top of the cage. then i barely touched his head. then he got a bit brave and gave me his head to scratch it for him and i did twice for couple of minutes. tried to get my hand to his belly and i got a very gentle warning bite. thought i could go further and i got the REAL bite scratched his head again and he went down to cage. some progress i guess.. few days ago he flied of the cage to the couch when i got close to him while he was on top of his cage. i hope i am doing this right and stress free for him. if i cant guarantee his safety out of his cage i wont let him stay on a stand. i would hate to see him end up in my fish tank.