Bonding

[Lillipilli]

I wonder if I am crazy, but I always wonder if my grey (female) will continue to bond well with me, or suddenly decide to take on my husband as her favourite.

 

It would be sad for me, she was my dream bird, I saved, and waited so long for her, convinced my hubby I needed her, and I'm absolutely besotted with her. I do all the feeding, cleaning, but I want her to be very involved with the family to develop well socially. So far everythings working well, she goes up to hubby for cuddles, food, chit chats, as much as me. But I have the fear, that she will eventually like him more, and I'll just be the cleaner/feeder.

 

Is this an irrational fear?

 

I know it's silly but bringing up our children, he's always been the one to shy away from the hard stuff/responsibilities but always had so much fun playing games. I never enjoyed it that way and always felt like the mean, rule enforcer, while his impression in the kids hearts is always fun.

 

It would be dissapointing for me to spend the rest of 50 - 60 yrs cleaning up after and caring for my bird who actually adores him more.

 

Am I incredibly selfish?

 

I don't want to set provisions up for this not to happen, and keep Kuki only to myself, cuase that's not whats best for her. It's important to me she has her independence and is well socialised..

 

I read a lot that a female bird will reach sexual maturity and just pick a male in the household to bond with, and same with a male bird.

 

Is there anyone who has not had this happen?

[shazbaby36]

my freddie was my bird then we found out she was a female and i wonderd why she always seems to let my hubby do anythink for her she always cuddles up to him and kisses him but i have always fed her and cleaned her cage out

[LisaM]

I have a 13 year old female CAG who definitely prefers women, particularly me. She will step up to my husband but he's the only man she will do that to. She will go to any adult woman and to my 9 year old daughter. I am the only one she puts her head down and lets skritch her neck though. She let my mom do it once but we're thinking that it was because it was late in the evening and for a few minutes she thought it was me. (he he he). She figured it out after a few minutes and has never let her do it again.

 

We've only had her for 1 year and a half and the woman who had her before us for 6 years said she was fearful of men (her husband was never able to hold her). She was in a rescue shelter prior to that so we don't know her history to know if anything happened that turned her off from men when she was younger.

 

Probably not helpful but it's one example of a female CAG who has chosen a woman (me) as her best bud.

 

Lisa

[danmcq]

It has been proposed by some in the Parrot world that African Greys ALWAYS prefer the opposite Human sex when they reach adulthood. There is no true data indicating this and in fact it seems to be a falsehood completely or at least not true in many cases.

 

They do sometimes change their "Favorite", but not all that often.

 

So don't sweat it Lillipilli, enjoy her love and just enjoy her unconditionally. If in the the future, she did change her favored person (Unlikely) just love her for who she is. :-)

 

I bought Dayo for myself, but my wife is his cuddle muffin. He does however interact and cuddle and get scratches with me too. But, in the evenings when it's an hour or two to bed time, he just wants to lay on her chest and have her pet and baby him. :-) I just enjoy his presence and company no matter where or whom he is with at the time. B)

[judygram]

Its nothing to worry yourself about, Lillipilli, she may always look to you as her favorite but if she does change favorites later you should still be able to enjoy her so don't sweat the small stuff.

 

My Josey chose me as her favorite but then she is my bird and I do all the caring for her, my hubby does not have much to do with her. She won't go to him or let him touch her much except to take cheese from him and I realize that she could change her mind when she gets to maturity. But that is a ways down the road yet as she is 20 months old and I will deal with it when and if it happens.

[Ronda477]

I 100% understand where you are coming from! I asked the breeder this question as well cause I could have gotten a male at the time I got SweetHeart. She said she has heard that as well but has never thought that to be true. If the bird is socialized much like Dan's seem to be, than you will be able to handle her as well but she may pick a favorite down the road. So far we are having all kinds of little set backs with SweetHeart but she lets me pick her up the most and get away with the most from her. She likes our kids as well, but seems to not like my husband Jessie to well. She will even growl at the site of him occasionally. So when she flies off of her cage I will sometimes have him get her instead of me, just to show her that he is a good guy and won't hurt her. But I share the same feeling with you, Jessie already has a parrot I can't touch, I don't want my bird to go to him as well! lol I think it is selfish but I am with you on it took me awhile as well to save up for her and I wanted her really bad. I take care of her all the time and I am the one home with her and the one that talks to her all the time. So I guess only time will tell, but the breeder said just to make sure that she is well socialized and we wouldn't have any problems with her.

[ScubaJ]

I felt the same way, but that changed quickly. Echo prefers me over everyone else, which is nice, but not nice to the extent where she wants to bite everyone else!

 

My dad is much larger then myself but when he goes to get near her... well, hes the only person that Echo has made bleed... and of all people, my dad is the only major pet person in the family. He tries to bond with her but she is just vicious towards him and I have no idea why...Hopefully she warms up to him.

 

She is tolerant of my girlfriend which was the only other person that I wanted to make sure she at least tolerated.

 

I split duties between myself and my girlfriend so I am not the sole caretaker. So she bonds with both of us. Not just me.

 

I figure if my girlfriend got a new pet that hated me, I would not want to help take care of it or play with it. So I do what I can to make sure she doesn't get put in the same "situation".