Help! having trouble with my grey.

[vanessak]

Hello,

 

My name is Vanessa and I am extremely frustrated with my 81/2 year old grey Chester. He was content and fine up until a year ago. Now he stands on his cage and chirps and flaps his wings as if he wants something, but nothing I do makes him happy. First I think he is hungry so I feed him. But then he keeps flapping and doesn't touch his food. So I will pick him up because I think he doesn't want to be on his cage, but then he acts like he is afraid of me and doesn't want to be with me either. He was never like this before. We haven't moved and there has been no other changes.

 

I don't know what to do to console him and wonder if he knows how much it gets under my skin and that is why he keeps doing it. I will try to ignore him but it goes on for hours. I take him to work with me (he has a perch there) and he is fine for awhile, but then wants to go home. And when he is home, he wants to leave. The only one he is really content with now is my 19 year old stepson. But at night Chester can be very loving to me and likes to be petted. Then it starts all over again in the morning. There is nothing physically wrong with him.

 

I never thought that I would start disliking my bird but it is wearing on me emotionally. I have heard that they can 'turn' on you when they get to be a certain age, but it is like nothing I can do will make him happy. My husband tells me to forget about it, that he is just a bird, but I don't believe that.

 

Help! Has anyone experienced this?

 

Vanessa from Fort Lauderdale

[Abdullah]

when i had an indian ringneck he reached this transitional age between sexual maturity and his baby days..it was wierd he completely turned on me i didnt know what it was until i read that its a stage called bluffing..they turn wild..hormonal and nippy and they tend to test thier boundries

 

im not sure about your bird it could be alot of things..maybe a change maybe bordem one thing for sure is you dont want to reinforce this behaviour if hes doing it for attention..he might not be doing it for attention but my giving him food when he does it ..he willrelate it to '' hey if i do this she will come to me and do things for me'' its wierd i know but it seriously happens..no behaviour happens for no reason specially if its negative..for now id say observe..one does he do it...try to link it..if its something ur doing..at what time of the day etc etc..once u narrow it down a little it might help..try to ignore it...my cat whos mostly indoor cat used to leave the house..when ever i shake his bag of treats he comes back home and i for sure give him one...he started getting a little bit fat after that so idecided not to do it that often..he didnt like it so he started meowing like crazy around the times where he was used to being fed treats so i ignored it..he would want to be let out..then 5 mins come back and start meowing..he thought by leaving the house and coming back he will automatically get treats..he would claw at my leg but i ignored it instead of giving him treats i would praise him so much..so after a while he stopped...how did i get him to come to the house ? id call his name and give him treats BUT NOT ALL THE TIME its called intermited rienforcement which actually is much more effective than reifnorcing all the time..now he comes to the call of his name coz he knows he might be given a treat so he takes his chance and if doesnt get a treat he happy with being priased for coming back..i know my post does not make sense but behaviour tends to be general sometimes i hope this helps...maybe someone much more experienced could awnser ur post<br><br>Post edited by: Abdullah, at: 2008/01/20 03:06

[vanessak]

Thank you Abdullah for taking the time to respond. I am just going to have to do my best to ignore him and we will see what happens. I am just disappointed because our relationship was far more predictable and I feel that I can't make him happy. But maybe that is my lesson, letting go and not trying so hard. I know that he is very smart and I believe that he can sense how I feel.

[Abdullah]

no problem..antohyer thing might be is that he can read your body language and he sees that your stressed and sad but he doesnt know why so hes nervous..try to approach him in a happy mood im sure that counts...my cat seems to always want to be around me when im sad..youd be surprised

[judygram]

Very good post, Abdull, and it makes very good sense and I agree with what you said about your cat seems to want to be around you when you are sad or sick, I have experienced that myself.

 

I think this whole thing is hormonal and linked to sexual maturity so don't take it personally, he is just reasserting himself in a new phase of his life and the adjustment period is wearing on you and him.

[vanessak]

How long does the sexual maturity phase last and about when does it start/ stop approximately? Chester will be 9 in May. I liken it to when you have a child and they worship the ground you walk on, and then when they become a teenager, they can't stand being in the same room. I don't have kids but Chester is probably like a teenager now and my lesson is to not take things so personally and not feed into it. It will be good practice if I have kids. I just want to know if this is normal and how do other people put up with the behavior?

 

Vanessa

[judygram]

You have described it well, he is hormonal and wants to mate, that is what his body is telling him to do, but you need to ignore it and don't rub his back or any area other than his head or neck.

 

Don't take it personally, it is normal behavior and will pass in time, just be patient with him and give him some space and he will return to more like his normal self when the urges subside.