having trouble with my grey

[vanessak]

Hello,

 

My name is Vanessa and I am extremely frustrated with my 81/2 year old grey Chester. He was content and fine up until a year ago. Now he stands on his cage and chirps and flaps his wings as if he wants something, but nothing I do makes him happy. First I think he is hungry so I feed him. But then he keeps flapping and doesn't touch his food. So I will pick him up because I think he doesn't want to be on his cage, but then he acts like he is afraid of me and doesn't want to be with me either. He was never like this before. We haven't moved and there has been no other changes.

 

I don't know what to do to console him and wonder if he knows how much it gets undre my skin and that is why he keeps doing it. I will try to ignore him but it goes on for hours. I take him to work with me (he has a perch there) and he is fine for awhile, but then wants to go home. And when he is home, he wants to leave. The only one he is really content with now is my 19 year old stepson. But at night Chester can be very loving to me and likes to be petted. Then it starts all over again in the morning. There is nothing physically wrong with him.

 

I never thought that I would start disliking my bird but it is wearing on me emotionally. I have heard that they can 'turn' on you when they get to be a certain age, but it is like nothing I can do will make him happy. My husband tells me to forget about it, that he is just a bird, but I don't believe that.

 

Help! Has anyone experienced this?

 

Vanessa from Fort Lauderdale

[Kibibi]

"chirps and flaps his wings" doesn't sound like abnormal behavior. He may just be trying to get some attention and he may be noticing that he's driving you crazy which is probably entertaining to him

[vanessak]

I thought he wanted attention but when I pick him up he continues to do it. Plus he does it for a long time and will avoid his food- even favorite foods. Eventually he will eat but he just seems so upset.

[vanessak]

Also, it is more like he is hunching down with his wings out to his side shaking them and keeps doing that straight while he chirps every couple of seconds.

[Talon]

Have you taken him in for a check up from the vet just to rule anything out? Greys disguise illness very well. Since there is a change in behavior and appetite, I definitely would have his health checked just for peace of mind, and ten go from there.

Please keep us posted.

[lovemyGreys]

Hi Vanessa

Wing flapping, or flying in place, is used as exercise, to get your attention,are your greys wings clipped ? There is also Wing flipping,this can mean many different things such as being angry or in pain. Flipping can also be used to fluff the feathers or get the feathers to lay just right.

As Talon has said i would visit your avian vet to rule out any illness & if he is not intrested in his favourite foods then is something quite not right.Please let us know how you get on.

[danmcq]

Hi Vanessa,

 

You mention your 19 year old step-son. When you say that Chester is fine with him, do you mean that behaviour completely stops when your step-son is there?

 

Did your step-son just come home or become a part of your household perhaps beginning a year ago?

 

The reason I ask, is if the behaviour stops when he is there, it could indicate Chester is smitten with him and throws a fit until your step-son is home.

 

Just a thought. :-)<br><br>Post edited by: danmcq, at: 2008/01/20 15:05

[vanessak]

Thank you for your responses. He has become smitten with my stepson. He has lived with us for years but Chester fell in love with him probably around the time when this whole thing started, and as soon as he walks in the door, Chester starts shouting out his name. I tell Anthony to spend time with him and he will here and there, but he is caught up with his friends and school and not always around.

 

He will eventually eat, but he doesn't eat as immediately as he used to. In the morning when he is flapping and chirping, I assume that he is hungry, but when I put his food down, he will ignore it and keep flapping and hunching over with his wings out to the side. I have taken him to the vet, and he checks out fine. His wings have always been clipped but they are a little longer at the moment- but no longer then they have been in the past. Sometimes I wonder if I should let his wings grow out so that he can fly off his cage if that is what he wants to do. His cage is always open but rarely he has gone on a 'walkabout'. I figure he could always get down from there if he truly wanted to.

 

I have to keep going back to the feeling that he knows how it gets to me and is looking for a reaction, and/or just wants to always be around Anthony. It is just extremely frustrating and disappointing and is probably my lesson not to take it so personal. He doesn't bite me or anything, and at night when he wants to go to bed, he is cuddly and I have my old bird back. Has he just become an attention hog? That would be easier to believe if he actually wanted my attention when I pick him up.

 

Vanessa

[Guest]

Vanessa welcome here Chester will adapt finally. Just be patience. That is the magical word

[judygram]

Hello and welcome to the family, Vanessa, glad you could join us and we look forward to hearing more about you and Chester.

 

At age 8.5 years of age, I am inclined to think he is in love with your stepson which is why he acts that way with him. He is around the age of sexual maturity and his hormones are raging right now and that is why there is a change in behavior. Of course I am no expert and this is my opinion, and if anyone disagrees with me just correct me, please.

 

I think he is also feeding off your reactions to his new behavior and he is enjoying it much to your distress but if they get a reaction they like they will continue it, ignore it if you can. Like others have said, patience is one thing all grey owners need to have plenty of because you will need it to survive around them.

 

Another thing if this is a sexual maturity thing is do not rub him down his back and to his tail, that just makes him more sexually frustrated, these are like the erogenous zones for birds.

 

Please read thru the many threads on various topics for lots of useful information and do not hesitate to ask specific questions you may have, we do our best to answer as quickly as possible and help you in any way we can.

 

If you have any pictures of Chester you would like to share with us we would love to see him.

[MazyAK]

vannessa:

Yep, somebody is in love with your step son. Unfortunately we don't get to make these choices, the bird does. I agree with judygram and the others. Try to ignore the bad behavior and when it stops get a treat to him as soon as you can so you're rewarding the quiet behavior. The lowered body and spread wings are a sign of courting. I mknow it's hard to gets kids to spend time with the pets but try to explain to your step son how the bird has chosen him and see if he can give a little more time to him. It is hard to get a bird to change their favotie choice but it can be done, with lots of time and patience.

Bruce & Mazy

[vanessak]

Thank you so much everyone! Does anyone know about how long the sexual maturity phase lasts and about when does it start/ stop approximately? Chester will be 9 in May. I liken it to when you have a child and they worship the ground you walk on, and then when they become a teenager, they can't stand being in the same room. I don't have kids but Chester is probably like a teenager now and my lesson is to not take things so personally and not feed into it by eventually getting exasperated with him. It certainly will be good practice if I have kids. I just want to know if this is normal and how do other people put up with the behavior? Basically, how do you deal with the rejection that never used to be there, and/ or the irritation of the frequent chirping and distress that he is expressing? I guess this is stretching my patience.

 

Vanessa

[judygram]

My grey is still too young to go thru this phase yet but I know it is a trying time for you but try to ignore the behavior, certainly don't encourage it.

 

I would imagine it will last for several months, some of the other members have more experience with this than I but I wanted to throw in my 2 cents worth.

 

Don't take this as rejection, he is maturing and developing different relationships but it doesn't mean that you cannot have a loving and mutually satisfying relationship with him. Spend time with him and talk to him and let him know that you are going to be there for him no matter what.

 

Hang in there Vanessa and Chester will be more like his old self when the flame dies out.

[vanessak]

Thank you Judygram for your insight and comments. I do see the larger spiritual perspective on what occurs in my life and I will look to Chester as my guru- teaching me unconditional love, patience and compassion. He is there to show me where I want to control and to teach me greater self-acceptance and emotional balance in the face of rejection. I am hopeful and feel lighter about the situation.

 

Vanessa