Growling at my wife

[MikeSearson]

I have a Grey that is about a year-old. While I didn't handfeed him, I spent a few hours every day with him as he was being handfed to bond with him. (he still does the head bob like he's being handfed and makes noises he made as a baby when I hold him).

 

We named him "Mumbles" and he's a decent talker for his age. He says about 50 different words or phrases, mimics the wild birds, etc and loves attacking his toys, hanging upside-down, etc.

 

He has always favored me over my wife(even though he's "her bird"), a few months ago he would try to bite her whenever she came near him, but he stopped that and would let her pet him, etc.

 

The first time I heard him growl was a few months ago...the grandkids came to visit and he wanted no part of them. The second time was the last time he had his wings/nails clipped. He was PISSED!

 

Last week my in-laws came to visit and he was ok with them, but my wife's sister wore a scarf that made him growl...we think because he thought it was a towel (Bird store owner puts a towel around the burds to clip them).

 

Yesterday afternoon my wife cleaned his cage and he started growling at her, she just pulled the tray and changed the paper. She thought it was the sweatshirt she was wearing, similar to the bird store owner's shirt with a UNR logo, she changed it and he stopped growling but was acting wary. But last night it was worse...growling at her, running away from her. He's fine with me, but I've never seen a bird act like this before. The only other change in the house is the Christmas lights...could they be causing this behavior?

[BMustee]

Yeah, that could be what is causing the problems right now, but it sounds like there may be other forces at work here as well. Who takes him to get the nails and wings clipped?

[judygram]

Well Mike he obviously favors you over her and there is not much you can do about that but accept it, for they chose who their favorite person is.

 

The decorations and lights could be the difference that is causing him to react this way, sounds like you really have a high strung grey that is bothered more about sudden changes in his environment.

 

Most greys do not like kids very much, they are too loud and quick moving, makes them very nervous so hence they will growl.

 

If you can you really should slowly try to get him used to a towel for there could be times that you will have to towel him for some reason. I have played hide and seek with Josey using a towel and now she is used to being in and around a towel. But now that yours is already scared to death of it, it may not be possible to ever get him used to it but it is worth a try.

 

Mike, I see this is your first post, why don't you introduce yourself in the welcome room and tell us a little more about yourself and Mumbles.

[MikeSearson]

Both of us take him in, together. Of course when he's done he comes back to me right away. When i'm not around he'll go to my wife and be affectionate, etc. If I come in the room though, he'll abandon her or try to bite her to go to me.

[judygram]

You are his favorite and that is why he does that, I know this hurts your wife's feelings but this is what happens a lot and you just have to live with it.

 

Maybe she can be the one to give the treats to him, that way it is a little more incentive for him to get to love her a little more, not that he loves her less, he just has a different relationship with her than with you.

[ziggy]

Hello Mike,

 

This seems to be a bird that is living up to his reputation. Greys are tipicaly a one person bird( there stereotype ). Your wife must learn to deal with it of try to work with him for hours and hours. She will get nipped and it will hurt but after a while he might come around. She needs to be sturn with her commands. She must not be affraid of him at all. If she shows any weakness he will feed off of it. Greys are very smart and have great memories. She needs to be confident when handleing him. He has put his trust in you at this point, and he needs to learn to trust your wife. Every grey will be differant then the next. He might never like her or he might have to learn. He is the one that is going to make that decision. If you force the issue she can get hurt. She needs to show she is the dominate one next to you.

Hopefully he will except it, if not you and your wife will have to make the decision on what to do about his behavior.( she might want to stay clear of him) The growling is his way of saying "I DONT LIKE THIS" and she needs to understand that. Keep working with him and hopefully he will come around. For the kids they move to fast and they make to much noise for him. The excitment is to much for him to handle. Please watch the little fingers with him. He can put a good wallup on them.

[Dave007]

One other thing to calm your bird down, have the bird out of the cage when she cleans it or puts food and water in. That way, he won't be forced to bite her. Lots of people have to have their birds out of the cage when doing things there. It'll also make him relax and if he does attack, she'll have time to move away without doing it in sudden movements. As others have said, greys don't like kids so when they're around, cage the bird and tell the kids not to mess with them. If a kid gets bitten, believe me, that kid won't own a parrot in the future.

[chapala]

Many parrot owners have this problem Our Military Macaw is bonded to my husband - she was a mature, un-tame rescue when we got her, never handled. When she chose him, she started trying to bite me. I ahve worked with her slowly, over time. We've had her almost 6 years. Except for one ambush, she has not bitten me, and I do pay attention to her body language. I can handle her on a stick (stick-training your Grey is strongly advised!), and move her from place to place, even picking her up on my hand or arm if she's on the floor. I also am the nut person (in more ways than one, I'm sure!), and give these very special treats by hand every day. She has gotten SO much better with me.

 

Now, Kali the Grey bird is my bird, and doesn't especially like my husband. I do not recommend your wife forcing herself on the bird, or "taking bites" - just teaches the bird to bite. The more they bite, the more they will bite as a means of communication since the human acts like he or she doesn't understand anything more subtle. If the bird is territorial around the cage (my Grey is, and if I'm gone and my husband needs to clean the cage, Kali has to be put on a stand), the bird should be removed and placed on a stand so that no biting occurs. Watch the body language and avoid the bite. When you take your bird in for clipping, I suggest your wife be the "rescuer" and go in alone to get him. He will be happy to see her. Little by little (patience is important), I think he will learn to act civil with her though he will be bonded to you.

Reta

[MikeSearson]

Thanks for all the advice!

He's not even trying to bite just growling and running away (falling to the floor, acting spooked, etc)

 

The thing is, he has gone to her in the past, but the past two days growls and acts like he's afraid, he won't even take treats from her now. I guess I'm just trying to figure out "WHY"? It's not as if she was mean to him (she does love him and is actually very hurt by his actions). I think i'll have her be the "rescuer" at the next "trim".

[ziggy]

You say hes about a year old this could also be a faze they will go through fazes from time to time. He is a little young to be going through his "terrible twos" but like I said before every bird will be his own character. We have guidelines for them but they are all in %'s and not in fact. Just watch those little fingers please. Tell her not to get upset she has to work with him.( dont show a weekness though) He will respond to that, Thats for sure.

[watchout]

Hello Mike, I like your bird's name. When I was a little kid, we had a Amazon named Mumbles. Great name for a parrot.

[danmcq]

Hi Mike,

 

Growling and screaming is normal reaction from Greys. They do this when they are alarmed, playing and when they want whatever it is in close proximity to leave them a lone.

 

Has your wife changed her nail polish or hair color/style? Greys are so sensitive to change of the smallest items sometimes, you have to start the detective work and do a process of elimination to figure out what it is that is causing the behaviour.

 

It is good to hear that Mumbles is not attacking or biting your wife and perhaps is excepting her as a private rank in the flock hierarchy :-)

[sandra902]

i find merlin really pays attention to my hairstyle. i usually have it in a ponytail or braid and the few times i wore it down he was having trouble processing that the voice of mamma was coming out of the witch-lady's face.

 

so maybe the sweatshirt really does remind him of the wing-clipper. i'm sure the christmas tree lights are affecting him too. he sounds like my merl, suspicious of everything, thinks any change will bring immediate death to unsuspecting birdies.

[Christina]

Tell her to check nail polish color, perfume, hair, makeup...any of those things can set your bird off. My B&G bit the heck out of me when I came home from getting my nails done one night...I had a beautiful pearl color on them....I guess he thought they were claws coming to get him! :ohmy: Needless to say, that polish came off pronto. And tell your wife not to feel bad, my grey doesn't like my husband but he won't let her run him off, so she is happy to go to him when I'm not around and reluctantly agrees to it when I am there. He actually says they have a lovely relationship "when I'm not around". Tell her to persevere (sp?) and spend that time with Mumbles when you are not there...they will establish a nice relationship, different from yours and Mumbles, but nice nonetheless. And its good social skills for Mumbles as well.

[curtie]

Hi, my Grey comes to my wife and I. She has no problem with been around the two of us. She's a bit more free with me and respects her a bit more. As for our 2 kids, she will scream for them when they leave the room. She loves the noise that make.

[curtie]

Hi, my Grey comes to my wife and I. She has no problem with been around the two of us. She's a bit more free with me and respects her a bit more. As for our 2 kids, she will scream for them when they leave the room. She loves the noise that make.

[Nychsa]

MikeSearson wrote:

Thanks for all the advice!

He's not even trying to bite just growling and running away (falling to the floor, acting spooked, etc)

 

The thing is, he has gone to her in the past, but the past two days growls and acts like he's afraid, he won't even take treats from her now. I guess I'm just trying to figure out "WHY"? It's not as if she was mean to him (she does love him and is actually very hurt by his actions). I think i'll have her be the "rescuer" at the next "trim".

 

Hi Mike,

 

My Bella growls at my partner even though he would do anything to get her to like him. But he is a bit wary of her beak and talons, so his body language somehow tells Bella that she could spook him if she wanted to. Unfortunately she is so smart, she's started to play on his fears and she now has the upper hand in that relationship! She growls at him when he gives her carrots, when he stands up, when he sits down, you name it, she growls! She's escalated the game now in that she flies over to him when he's on the couch and looks at him quite onery as if she's saying "I think you need to move."

 

I've told him over and again that she's playing him, but he can't get over his concerns about her beak and talons. So, I guess Bella is going to be ruling that relationship.

 

I don't know if your wife is sending some kind of body language signal that something is bothering her, but you may want to look into that. These guys are smart!!

[MikeSearson]

Not sure.

 

Now he's doing the same to me....I approach the cage and he starts climbing to the other side to get away from me, shrieking the whole time, falling off his perch, etc.

 

He won't even take a nut from me.

 

He's not growling or biting, just running like he's afraid and shrieking. I don't think he's playing a game or anything. He's acting scared.

 

Up until yesterday he was a totally loving bird, now he's acting like we're planning to cook him for Thanksgiving dinner.

[ziggy]

Hello Mike,

Something has him stressed out. Could be a number of things. Have you moved his cage?, Have you moved thing around the house or his cage?, Have you put up christmas item or tree?, Have you got friends over? As you can see greys like routine and stability. You may think nothing has changed but something has and he is picking up on it. He cant talk to you with words so he is saying it with body language. Think and I bet you can find something out of the ordinary that he is picking up on. Will he let you touch him at all? Does he seem nervous at all?, Is he pacing in or out of the cage?, Greys are funny about things and he is no exception. Greys do go through fazes and will bond with surtain people but to just stop totally then something happened that he just dont like at all. These examples are just a few things that could have triggered it.

[MikeSearson]

The only thing that's changed is the Christmas stuff, but that's 2 rooms away. One row of lights is visible on a mantle 60 feet from his cage and we even turned them off to see if that would help. He lets me pet him and pick him up now but if I pick him up and he sees a hand move toward him to pet him he acts like he's about to get hit, freaks out, etc. I've had him since he was a baby and no one has ever tried to hit him nor has he seen anyone hit anything else.

 

Sometimes I think it was easier when I kept snakes!

[KatB]

Mike,

That sounds exactly like the way Oliver acted when I went to take him from his cage to take him to the vet a couple of weeks ago (there's a long thread on that called "Have I Been Dumped?"). I have no idea how he knew he was going to the vet, but he did, and -- exactly as you described -- he acted like I was going to cook him for Thanksgiving dinner. I made some bad moves, and now he's just beginning to trust my hands again. For weeks I could only get him to step up by fisting my hand and offering him my wrist. Could something have happened to cause Mumbles to be afraid of hands?

[ziggy]

Mike,

It sounds like he is spookes about something. Like I said before it only takes a little thing to set them off. He sounds like a good bird up to now but he sees something he does not like. They are tempermental about the smallest detail. The best advise I have for you is to be patient with him and work a little harder with him. For some reason he lost trust in your hand and now he has to learn to trust it again. They are strange at times but greys are that way.( all birds but greys more then most ). Try that and see if you get any possitive results.<br><br>Post edited by: ziggy, at: 2007/12/07 14:37

[Nychsa]

Mike,

 

When we put the Christmas stuff in the dining room, I picked up Bella and held her close to me, stroking her head and whispering into her ear and we "investigated" the new stuff. I could tell she was anxious about it because when we got closer her talons clamped down on my arm. I reacted by covering her head with my hand and letting her peer out from behind my hand. We did this a couple of times and she doesn't care about the Christmas stuff at all any more.