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Greytness

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This isn't a meme, but I thought I'd post it here since this thread is active. I know someone has posted it here but I just saw it again on facebook and it still made me laugh. A lot of truth in it!

13 Ways to Really Prepare Yourself for Getting a Pet Bird

Are you thinking about getting your first pet bird? This 13-step guide will emotionally and physically prepare you for what it’s like to live with one. If you follow this, you will have a fairly good idea what it’s like to have one of these lovely creatures in your house.

1. Take a big bite of carrot. Chew it up well, but don’t swallow it. Now go out to your dining room and spew it all over the wall. Leave it there until it dries. Get a sponge and a scraper and scrape it off the wall. Repeat daily!

2. Go to the bird supply store. Buy everything you need for the month. Then with the leftover money, go to the grocery store and pick up a five-pound box of macaroni, some parmesan cheese and some margarine. These provisions should last you about two weeks, and it’s about all you’ll be able to afford after all that money you spent at the bird supply store.

3. Take a newspaper to the bird supply store. Place it in the bottom of an empty birdcage. Read it while it’s laying on the bottom of the grate. This is how you will be reading the newspaper from now on.

4. Get some pelleted diet, some chopped up vegetables, borrow some bird poop from the bird supply store (they’ll look at you funny, but they probably won’t charge you for it), some parrot feathers, pieces of bird toy parts, some wood chips and some almond shells. Combine in a one-gallon container. Throw some of it on the floor. Now clean it up. Throw more of it on the floor. Now clean it up. Repeat at least twice a day.

5. Get a screwdriver from your toolkit. Make some gouges in the paint on the wall. And while you’re at it, use it to rip one of your lampshades and smack up a couple of picture frames.

6. Make sure you know the meaning of all of these terms: Cloaca, preen gland, PDD, PBFD, calcium to phosphorus ratio, polyomavirus, E.N.D., and boing. This task involves a lot of research. At least you'll be on your phone for a good reason.

7. Measure out a cup of flour and place in a sifter. Move about your house and lightly coat all surfaces with the flour. Now dust all the surfaces. Repeat at least three times a week.

8. Look up some wild parrots on YouTube. Turn the volume up on your phone to full blast and place it right next to your ear. Repeat at least three times a day for 45 minutes.

9. Take some of that bird poop you borrowed from the bird supply store and place it on a spatula. Now reach over your shoulder with the spatula and rub the bird poop on the back of your shirt. Let dry and then go grocery shopping. Count the number of people who either stare at you or tell you that you have bird poop on your back.

10. Do a little dumpster diving and collect odd items like water bottle caps, pieces of raffia, tree branches from bird-safe trees, pieces of cardboard and old plastic clothesline. With these items, attempt to make an interesting toy. You have 8 minutes. You may begin.

11. Save the wild parrot sounds onto your phone and set them as your 6 a.m. alarm. Make sure they are on the loudest setting possible. Repeat every morning for the rest of your life.

12. Get some bed sheets. Now take that screwdriver and make various beak-shaped holes in them. Take some of that bird poop and smear it on the sheets. Launder and repeat at least twice a month.

13. Find a reputable bird veterinarian and make his car payment for him. Repeat at least once a year for each bird you intend to get.

Do these exercises for as long as you can. If you can keep this up for at least six months without losing your mind, you just might be ready for a parrot 😂😍😋

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An oldie but a goodie -- LOVE IT!  One of those 'it's funny because it's true' dealies.  This one NEVER gets old!   Thanks for sharing it!!!   lol

And honestly, I'm good at cleaning up 'wet' messes fairly quickly.  But the dust a grey makes???  Love the 'flour/sifter' example! I can sweep/vacuum/hoover floors, wipe down all surfaces and literally, the very next day, I see more dust collecting on my surfaces!!!  I've got 22 years of near-daily dust clean-ups under my belt. (I use a dampened/wrung out microfibre cloth for the dust).  Crazy. 

Give me poop projectiles, wet food throws, chewed wood/cardboard bits dropped on floor, anything -- and I can deal.  But that dust is relentless.  I have to change my hepa pre-filter weekly.   I wonder why I don't have a serious respiratory illness, honestly (hence running a hepa-type air cleaner!)

Gotta really love a grey to not go completely bonkers over dust!!!  :)

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Same here. I try to hit the wet stuff as soon after it hits as possible. I am always amazed at the amount of dry crud surrounding the cage each evening though. For a bird who only weighs about 1/2 pound and doesn't seem to eat that much, where do all these bits and pieces come from? It's a puzzle ;)

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The dust is the worst for me!  Wiping down my grey's cage is a burden. He is constantly chasing and nipping at my cleaning cloth (and fingers!) -- he thinks cage wipe downs are a game.  For a thorough wipe-down (and esp a real cage cleaning) -- he has to be caged elsewhere for a moment.  He also dislikes newspaper removals -- lunges and grabs at them! 

Greys are real stinkers!  lol

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On 9/5/2019 at 1:38 AM, Greytness said:

It's true for me.  After getting my second bird the rest of my flock came  rather quickly. I now have 13 and holding!

Went from one to 9 it does sneak up on you. Now for the cage wipe down simplified mist all surfaces with water prior to wipe down. It settles the dust so you are not wafting through the house when cleaning the cage or changing the paper.

Edited by Greywings
add about dust
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4 hours ago, Greywings said:

That is a Caique and they are clowns. It is a fun video!

If I am feeling even a little bit down or angry -- I watch that Caique stomp around (there's a longer version also).  Can't help but boost one's mood.  lol

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Funny, but I sorta figure parrots, in general, feel no regret, no guilt.  Your home is their kingdom -- anything you own may become their chew toy. 

They are one of the rare pets that we forgive completely for pooping on our furniture, floors and even on us when shoulder riding.   And when shoulder riding, we even overlook that they chew up our clothes while we're wearing them!!!  Mine can remove a shirt label so quickly you don't even realize he did it -- he can chew through enough of my shirt that I don't even notice that either, yannoe, until I feel a slight breeze!!!  lol  🥴 

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That just about sums up how this morning went in our household. Had things that needed my immediate attention, so the flock had to wait 1.5 hours past their normal breakfast time. All eyes were on me until breakfast was served.

Edited by Greytness
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