new owner with lots of questions

[Guest]

two days ago I adopted a 20 year-old grey from a woman who had her for 8 years.  I have never owned any kind of pet before but I care a lot about giving her a good home and I am very worried that I may have scared her away for good two days ago, on my first night with her.  I made a sudden move right next to her and she flew off, terrified, and bumped into a few things on the way.  she didn't seem to get hurt but I know what hard work it is to get an adult grey to trust new people. I worry that she will associate that feeling of terror with my face and voice.  since then she has talked to me and tried to play games (dinging her bell back and forth with me), allowed me to feed her some kale, allowed me to bribe her with treats, etc.  But she still is for the most part wary around me... not so with my partner, whose hand she briefly stepped onto, which drives me CRAZY.  all he has really done is sit patiently with her and chirp at her--I have done this and more.  she even looks for him and chirps when he leaves the room.  so I guess what I'm trying to find out is, since I have not done anything differently from my partner (aside from accidentally terrify her), is there any hope that she will forget the negative associations she has of me? is that even what is going on or am I  totally off base here? what can I do to build relationship with her?

[SRSeedBurners]

For sure she will forget the one little incident as long as it doesn't continue.   Greys can and do pick their favorites but that doesn't mean you can't interact with the Grey.   I have a female who sticks to me like velcro but still interacts with others in the house.   We have another male who very much prefers my wife and I'm on a "no need to touch me" basis with him.   I still work with him though but will never be able to pick him up and kiss his belly like my wife can.   He'd rip my face off.  I still love him just as much.

[judygram]

Hello Cackle and welcome to our family. It has only been 2 days so there is plenty of time to rectify this little mishap and there will be more I am sure. Just continue to do what you are doing, talking to her, feeding her and sit nearby and talk softly to her for it will take some time to build that trust, it has to be earned. We all make mistakes with our greys, its just human nature but she will get over it. It appears she is taken with your partner as it happens a lot and there is not much you can do if she chooses him. I know full well this personally as my grey prefers my hubby, she will do things for him and allow him to touch her anywhere but will not allow me the same privilege. She will give me the stink eye and puff up when I come near her when she is on her beloved one but I can still handle her, she will give me kisses and step up for me. Sometimes we just have to accept what terms they allow us to have as we share our life with these amazing creatures.

Don't dwell on the negative aspects of what has been but focus on building that trust and it will take lots of time and much patience but will be so worth the effort.

[Timbersmom]

Hello and welcome to the forum Cackle! No harm done, it is early days yet. Greys take a long time to adapt to a new environment, new things, and new people. That "startle" will be forgotten.

Edited August 17, 2018 by Timbersmom

[Luvparrots]

Welcome Crackle.  Forget the misstep and focus on building a loving relationship.  My adult children are not bird/parrot lovers and my greys know it and react to it.  If you are hesitate or afraid Crackle knows it and takes advance.  So take a deep breathe, RELAX and start again with a more positive self-assured attitude.  You can do this, so relax.

 

[Greywings]

First week jitters she can and will learn you are not a monster just go slowly and low key with your interactions.  Other animals would hunt and eat Greys so they have learned to move away fast and remain in a hyper vigilant state. Time and using a relaxed approach to all your interactions will help more than anything else.

Edited August 16, 2018 by Greywings