How much can you handle your Grey?

[chezron]

How much can you handle your Grey? If you can handle your bird a lot, how did you get to that level?

 

I used to be able to handle my guy when he was younger.

[Luvparrots]

I have two greys. Ana Grey, Tag, since 2008, she was 4 months old when I purchased her from a breeder. She will shake claw to hand when asked and given cheek kisses. My Cag, Sterling Gris, I have owed since he was 4 months old, I acquired him in 2010. I have always just stepped them up onto my arm. Both have always been flighted after their feathers grew back after breeders' clipped them. Ana Grey has no fear of me, my family or my neighbors who have cared for my greys when needed. My Cag, Sterling Gris, is unafraid of me but is not as fearless as my Tag around others. I scoop my greys up as I choose. I give them head and feather scratches and total spray bottle bathes all the time. I am retired so I have oodles of time for my greys.

[Acappella]

Dorian has gone from a grey that was totally terrified of people's hands who would tolerate no handling 10 years ago to a bird that steps up when asked and will let me give him kisses all over his body and let's me lift his wings and touch him anywhere (I'm working towards maybe getting a harness on him). All I can say about the how is time. I've always offered him the option of closer contact but waited for him to make the move towards me. That's why it's taken 10 years! He's exceptionally slow to change. My patience has been my main tool with him and it's paid off big time. I hope things continue to progress in a positive direction for you.

[JeffNOK]

My CAG Gracie has always been reluctant to accept much handling-even as a chick. She steps up, kisses/touches my shoulder, and likes to sit on my arm or knee for short periods of time (5-15 minutes). I would like to give her scritches, but I haven't initiated it in years (she is 5 1/2 now)and she hasn't requested it. I might try to expand that in the future, but I wonder if it is anything she really wants or if it is just me.

[Inara]

Very good topic, Chezron. HRH Inara is a very sweet 5.5 year old TAG who absolutely loves to hang out for short periods on my knee or shoulder. She is very affectionate in her own way, and will give and ask for kisses. She also recently just began giving and asking for scritch-scritchies as she calls them, but she does not like prolonged petting, scritching, or contact. She allows me to emery board her beak and talons and actually enjoys it. She comes running when she sees the file come out, and then clings to the side of her home's bars so that I can work on each toe, and then will turn and switch position so that I can get her other foot. She will hang onto a crossbar with her beak so that I can get her beak.

 

She likes to "beak-bump," her equivalent of a fist-bump. By this I mean, she loves to reach out with her beak and just lightly touch the tip of my finger in a little bump/nudge. We also play a "getchyou-getchyou" game -- where i move my hand back and forth sideways on the back of the sofa (she loves to sit up there on a sheepskin fleece in the morning and stretch her toes and feet) and she puts her head down and moves her neck back and forth until one of us "getchyous" the other -- meaning a light grab of either me getting her beak, or her getting my finger. This is all very fun and all done very gently on both sides. She will ask to play it, by hopping up there after breakfast, putting her beak down into the sheepskin and saying, "I will getchyou getchyou."

 

She lets me handle her feet with ease, and this came in really really handy a couple of weeks ago. We have a huge flokati rug in the living room which she usually walks around rather than on. Well she was startled by a noise, took flight from the top of her home, and landed in the middle of the flokati. As I was going over to fetch her, I could see that one of her talons had become caught up in the long strands of the flokati and that she was about to panic. So I told her, "I will come help you," which is a phrase that I have always used with her and that she knows truly does mean "help." So she calmed herself, and then she said, "Toes," held up one foot set it back down and tried to lift the snagged foot showing me that it was stuck. She allowed me to sit on the floor next to her and carefully extract her talon from the wool in the rug without a squawk or bluff or panic. This episode was immediately followed with a brief filing of that particular talon.

 

She is not big on having her wings touched, she prefers that all contact with her head comes from the front not from overhead or behind, and while she loves short periods of perching upon me, she is not one to hang out for long. She prefers to perch on one of her mobile perches or her big tree. her favorite place truly is her home/cage. She loves it there but is in no way "cage bound." It is just simply her home, and that's that. She has recently begun to enjoy taking showers with me, while perched on my shoulder after I have rinsed all of the soap off of myself.

 

I envy Sterling and Elvinking, and others whose companions love being handled and snuggled. Alas, HRH Inara lives up to her title of Her Royal Highness -- she prefers her subjects' adulation to come more from afar or only on her terms.

 

Much like Acappella, I allow HRH, and always allowed my (now departed) wild-caught rescued 'zon and CAG to call their own shots when it came to contact. They both grew to be very trusting and affectionate over many years and I believe it is because I never forced the issue when it came to being physical with them. Just giving them a peaceful, safe, home was my only goal with both of them.

 

When we think of it, birds don't naturally perch upon one another in their daily lives for any length of time unless they are in the act of either mating, or are a raptor stooping upon a prey bird in flight or if they are the prey being stooped upon. So for them to seek out and initiate *any* consistent contact with us hoomans is a thing of wonder, and (imho) should never be forced, demanded, (barring emergencies and necessary vet attention of course) and ought never be taken for granted. That being said, encouraging a relationship with patience and gentle efforts at physical contact in order to allow a companion to know that it is safe and that contact is a positive thing is all part of establishing a relationship (Dee and Miss Gilbert are a great example of this). As Jeff said about his Gracie, that he wonders if certain contact is more for him, than for his companion. To me, that is the best question to ask oneself.

 

Rambled on here, and appreciate the food for thought.

[Timbersmom]

Timber loves a good face scratching and looks forward to sitting on my arm every evening before bed. I hold my arm close to my body and he sticks his beak down on my stomach and lets me have my way with scratching all around his face and neck. However, any other body part is taboo. Also, it's always on his terms. If he doesn't want to cuddle (rare but it happens) he goes in his cage at bedtime instead of coming toward me. Woe be to me if I attempt anything he doesn't want.

[chezron]

Great responses! Brutus loves having his beak rubbed and his head scratched. He will let me rub and kiss his beak for as long as possible. He used to sit in my lap for head scratches, but we haven't done that for awhile.

[chezron]

That's fantastic Acappella! Great progress!

[birdhouse]

Phenix was wild caught, abused & older. Then he was forcibly handled because he was sick while he was still utterly hand-shy. I kind of felt like it was cruel to force him to learn to even tolerate being handled except it really is necessary at times. He has learned that. He will usually let me pick him up. On a bad day he'll at least back down if I drape a towel over my arm but he will bite it.

 

He likes to have his feet rubbed a little. And that believe it or not, was huge progress. I know he will never be a physical bird. I certainly understand why & accept it as much as it's practical to. I also accept his way of communicating his affection is chatting me up & showing off for me. Over the past 10'ish years he also got to where he will lay his beak against my face & kiss me from watching Kura do it. Scary w/a biting bird! But actually less if you truly believe the bird really bites becase he's terrified of hands & are willing to accept the day may come when he proves you wrong. lol

 

Comparing apples to oranges, maybe, Kura, my ekkie was domestically bred & rescued at about a year or so old. She's got an almost unatural bond w/me. More dog-like than bird-like. I can't exactly lay her on her back, but I can do pretty much everything else, including have her stand to cut her nails on a good day.

 

But in a cruel twist of fate, I have to minimize all physical contact w/the bird who loves it most because she's hormonal. As it is, she's laying eggs several times a year even though she barely gets a beak or feet rub occassionally. Contact w/her is mostly limited to letting her sit on me. Unfortunately, I have no choice but to accept that, too.

Edited December 20, 2016 by birdhouse

[neoow]

Head scratches- on his terms only. I can't initiate them, I have to wait for Alfie to come to me.

Alfie will sit on my knee or my arm. He tries to sit on my shoulder too but I don't allow this as he has a tendency to start seeking out my ear.

I can touch his feet when he's in his cage. He doesn't sit still for long enough when he's out of his cage for me to do that though.

[SRSeedBurners]

Well, you all know I have a cuddlebugs. I'm pretty sure she didn't start out life that way. She was the standoff'ish bird at Wendy's Parrots that didn't want to hang out on a person much. She was however the playful rowdy one, which is a trait she still carries and works all too well here. I would have taken her sister if the bird wasn't reserved already. That bird was a cuddlebug velcro bird even in the short few hours when I went to see GreycieMae for the first time.

 

I'm convinced a lot of it has to do with fear on our part. You show fear and reservation they will take advantage of that. And it's not something you can really control I suppose. Not being afraid to get bit really goes a long way when I'm playing with GreycieMae. She does bite the living crap out of me occasionally when she's decided it's time to act like adults. I never ever let her near my eyes when I know there's a possibility she's going to strike. Everything is fair game and I don't mind a little blood loss.

 

As for how I got her to be a cuddlebug....lots and lots of playing and wrestling and tickles. Once she learned how fun it was to be slung around, rolled & tickled, bounced, tossed on her back, etc...she just naturally started to come around. I know she thinks it's fun because she will come to me asking for stuff in her own way. She will go to a place mat on the table and grab it with one foot and partially turn over in it then call to me. That's my cue to go wrap her up and sling her around in it. She loves it. She does lots of other cute stuff too that's very tactile.

 

I'm assuming you've had Brutus since he was a chick? I'm sure it's much different on a bird with a bad or unknown past. I wouldn't even expect to get one of those to cuddlebug status if they never showed an inclination too.

[katana600]

We have two parrots with totally different outlooks on life. Java is a red-bellied cousin to the Senegal. She was an adult when we got her and she has been hands on for me only for ten years now. She will hang upside down from my finger, lie on her back in my hand and play like Sterling can play with Gracie Mae. But... I am the only one who can play or rub the soft underside of her lower beak. Others in our family can be trusted for a step up, a head scratch but there is always a standoffish way about her that makes them stop short of play. Miss Gilbert has been with us nearly six years and was "a bird with issues" when we brought her home after an unknown number of rehomes. She has seldom been able to be touched except from the safety of her cage. Even then, she may allow me to scratch her head for months then suddenly as if she just noticed for the first time that I am in the room, she will spin around and bite. It is never a warning bite, it is from sweet to extreme in a heartbeat. I am not so much afraid to be bitten, it is how it affects her that has me keep my distance until she comes to me. It is as if she has tolerated a lifetime of abuse and she is frozen and suddenly one day something snaps and she attacks like going after a fruit fly with a bulldozer. For weeks after she gets to that point, she will regress into a statue on one perch far in the corner of her cage and she will shake. She will barber off all the feathers of her chest and legs and it will take weeks or months before she will tentatively venture to the bars of the cage on her "scratching" perch to ask for a head rub. The only way I know her overture is real rather than an enticement to get me close so she can bite is when she grasps the bars of her cage with one foot and buries her face in her tummy while offering the back of her head.

 

With that said, we have a different kind of bantering relationship with Miss Gilbert instead of a physically close cuddlebug. She has the most incredible sense of humor. She is spot on with comments followed by the most sarcastic little chuckle. If she is displeased, particularly with my husband or daughter, she will tell them "shut up" and "get outside". And that is her most pleasant vocabulary of expressing disdain. But for me, she calls me LuLu or Ma. Mostly she has a sassy little disposition. But first thing in the morning she will entice me out of bed before dawn with sweet kind words "good morning sweet heart", "c'mon, get up" and others . At night she will say "Night night" and when I acknowledge it is her bed time she will tell me "Sweet dreams" as I leave her in the dark.

 

I'm just throwing this out there because I remember how loving Brutus was to you prior to your divorce. I don't recall his age at that time. If he was around two, that would have been the time many greys change from the cuddly and sweet baby birds to their "terrible twos" as they assert their adult preferences. If that was the time of great upheaval in your own life, you may have taken that as Brutus being upset at the change in your household and hoped that when your life settled into normalcy once again, that he would be his sweet little cuddly self again. He may naturally be an adult grey with a reserved nature that wants little physical contact. Age two is the prime time when parrot companions think they are not the right home for their "unhappy" grey. It is a phase that passes, but then there is a new "normal". I think most of the human companions to greys on this this forum long for those sweet trusting black eyes and that loving baby they once had, myself included.

[Acappella]

I remember the first time I got to touch Dorian outside his cage. We were in the store where he lived and his owner had just clipped his wings, which is the only time he was ever let out of his cage. Bev handed Dorian to me and he perched on my hand while I held my hand in the Egyptian pose to keep him from moving up to my shoulder. He was trembling so much, but of course he was, he`d just been wrapped in a towel and clipped! Looking back I`m surprised he didn`t bite, but that was a good indicator of what a gentle soul he is. I`d already found this forum and was realizing that he wasn`t in a very good situation. I think I ran home and told you all about handling him, I was so excited! Since then he`s taught me the meaning of the word patience, just like Miss Gilbert has. I`m sure if you keep paying attention to the signals Brutus is sending you, you`ll move forward. In the meantime concentrate on the positive interactions you already have with him, and don`t go out of stock on those nuts! lol