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Thanksgiving advice (humor)


Greywings

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Ready for the annual Thanksgiving math quiz?

QUESTION: How large a turkey do you need if you are expecting 12 guests (but possibly 14 if Aunt Sue hasn't broken up with her loser boyfriend and his tagalong mother by then), one of whom will only eat birds raised on a gluten-free diet, three of them are likely to get into a fistfight over the dark meat, and two others insist the stuffing be made from free-range bread? ANSWER: Bourbon.

QUESTION: If you bake two pumpkin pies, one apple pie and one berry tart, how long will it take for your sister's bratty daughter to sneeze on two of them? ANSWER: Gin and tonic.

QUESTION: If three guests insist the potatoes be made from heirloom spuds, two request "mashed" cauliflower (because it "tastes just like the real thing"), and your brother always bogarts at least six servings, should you use an old fashioned masher or an impossible-to-clean ricer? ANSWER: Red wine.

You didn't pass? That's OK. When it comes to Thanksgiving, survival is more important than correct answers So relax and enjoy the holiday.

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