Chris and Matt Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Hello all! Maggie has been settling back into our home pretty nicely, it's so nice to have her back! She whistles and clicks and pops and says all of her old familiar phrases. I hear new things pop up on a near daily basis. We have a problem though... My husband was always Maggie's favorite. I could hold her and care for her but he was the one she loved. She even threw up for him once! Well, it seems that Maggie is holding a grudge. She's pretty upset with him and has drawn blood more than once in the last few weeks. My husband is pretty bummed about the whole thing but I'm convinced that there must be a way to bring her back around. I couldn't think of a better group of folks to ask. So, any thoughts or ideas on the matter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inara Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Her life has changed. The best thing is to not take things personally. You both may be ready to pick right up where you left off, but Maggie may not be. Slow it all back down. Just let Maggie do her own thing without trying to reach for her, or have her step up, or anything other than just chatting with her, offering her treats, and rebuilding the relationship. If she's biting, she's telling your husband to back off for now (you guys get this already I know), so listen to what she's saying. Start from scratch with her as if she is a newly rehomed bird. If she was attached to the woman whom you left her with, all she knows for now is that woman is gone, you two have showed back up, and life is different again. Sweet talking and lots of small treats can work wonders, with no demands. We see us wanting to get close as love on our part, many birds see it as an intrusion and as a demand. So let Maggie call the shots. You've got years ahead again together, and she'll come around, in her own time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 (edited) Very good advice from Inara. Relax and let Maggie set the pace. Edited September 28, 2014 by luvparrots Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris and Matt Posted September 29, 2014 Author Share Posted September 29, 2014 Thanks Inara! She's great with me, just not so keen on the hubs right now. I hung her boing up in the kitchen (away from dangerous objects) and she's been having fun hanging out with us in there. She was a little nervous this morning but after moving her back and forth a few times she was swinging and climbing all around by this evening. She picked up with me again right away but maybe she's associating female to female and she's just more comfortable because of that. The hubs is just getting frustrated and his feelings are hurt more than anything, I think. I'll encourage him to hang in there and keep on taking it slow, hopefully it'll help. He's been trying to offer her treats but she's never been a big fan of treats, anything that I've found anyways. She'll take a bite and drop it right away. Oh well, we'll keep on working on it and take it slow. Thanks for reaffirming things for me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Have you tried pine nuts? That is what broke the ice between Megan and me. I was the only giver of pine nuts. They were her favorite and she'd do anything to get them, even if it meant being nice to me. Find the one thing Maggie loves more than anything else and then make your husband the only place she can get them. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris and Matt Posted September 29, 2014 Author Share Posted September 29, 2014 Ooh, we haven't tried pine nuts. We'll give that a shot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Maggie is making hubby pay the pice for his absence, but she will come around. Our CAG Corky is the master when it comes to making you pay. My wife has been in the hospital 5 times in the past 4 years and when she comes home she pays. If she has been in the hospital for 5 days, Than Corky will have nothing to do with her for 5 days, but on the 6th day everything is hunky dory. If it`s three days gone than it`s three days cold shoulder and on the 4th day it`s like nothing ever happened. If he was the her favorite than she will come around. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acappella Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 (edited) I know it's hard not to have hurt feelings, but have your hubby act towards Maggie like she is a new-to-him rescue. Sit by the cage and talk to her or read to her. Have her be the sole provider of special treats like a bit of grape, apple, cheese, anything that she only gets a couple of times a week. He doesn't have to feed it to her from his hand. Having him put it in his food dish is message enough. Always use a happy voice and have a smile on when he talks to Maggie. Respect her boundaries for now and observe her body language. Don't put pressure on her to let him pick her up for now. Knowing her feelings are being listened to will help her re-build a trusting relationship with him. Greys can be contrary little souls and I really think she's punishing him for disappearing on her but with time, patience, consistency and love, the relationship can be re-built. It may not be exactly the same relationship as it was before, but that could have happened even if you had never left her. Even greys that have never had the changes Maggie has had sometimes up and change their favourite person and the former favourite has to learn how to deal with the change. Good luck, and tell your husband that he can always come on here to vent if/when he gets frustrated. Edited September 30, 2014 by Acappella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Chris and Matt Maggie is going to THRIVE on the guilt, which you are displaying! They can extend the punishment as long as you display the guilt! I NEVER feel guilty... so I am NEVER punished anymore. ( I use to!) It is time to change the scene of your interactions. You need to pick Maggie up and go into a room that Maggie can hang with you.Play a board game with Maggie that requires " stepup" to the next person.( our favorite... the game trouble). Let Maggie see your interactions with each other. She will want to be part of that! Greys wear their heart on their sleeves, but they can learn quickly to trust, as long as you show them you are trust worthy! Your husband has already displayed trust worthy behavior, it won't take long. Be consistent... work away from the cage... and never deal with feelings of doubt. Be strong! Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Ooh, we haven't tried pine nuts. We'll give that a shot! Fisher's nuts now has them in little packages. I found them at Wal-Mart where the nuts are for baking. They are a fatty nut, so they go rancid fast so I like getting smaller bags. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdhouse Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Thought I'd add Phenix favorite thing to the list & suggest that maybe Hubby can share by letting Maggie drink from his cup. Phenix loves big, see thru tumblers (see avatar). But almost any cup is way cool. His favorite, favorite drink is Simply Limeade. Pink grapefruit juice & cranberry, also get very high marks. But honestly, given the chance, he's happy w/water so long as he gets to stick his face in a cup. Aside from the fun bonding activity, a nice big cup also makes for good protection. They get used to your hand coming towards them, but done right, they can't take a chunk out of you just because the spirit moves them. So maybe I should say that was one of my favorite things, too, back in the dark days. lol This is not the Maggie you guys left behind. That Maggie was still a youngster emotionally. This Maggie is a grown personality w/life experiences that have helped shape her attitudes & reactions in ways that might surprise you. In other words, the suggestions that you treat her like a newly rehomed fid might work best until you really see what's what & who's who. Also, I have to respectfully disagree w/the idea that Hubby will just return to fav status after the dust settles. Greys can be notoriously fickle. Even if that relationship had continued seamlessly, Maggie may still have eventually demoted him. It just happens that way sometimes. He can hope he's "just" in the penalty box. But, it might be best to drop any attitude from his previous status & set to earning his place w/the Maggie who's currently living w/you. If nothing else, shameless grovelling & pandering can't hurt, right? ") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Birdhouse.... LOL! LOVED the last line the best! Time will tell whether Maggie remembers. I agree, deal with the " present set of circumstances."I DO believe that he will start at ground zero, and quickly climb the ranks. Only time will tell. Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdhouse Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Oh, Maggie definitely remembers. Don't doubt it for a second. They have insanely long memories, especially about the important things. It's just that Maggie's changed. She's not a youngster anymore. Maybe she'll still be Daddy's little girl for life or maybe she's outgrown him. Whatever, but right now, she's got the control & it sounds like she's letting him know she's not about to just give that up. So, it would probably be better for him to avoid anything that might seem pushy & pander, pander, pander until he hopefully gets back in her good graces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 birdhouse... Excellent suggestion! Damn... I would be a mess! Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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