On the verge of a purchase ...a couple of answers please if i may?

[PhillyT]

Hi,

 

So we're about to put down a deposit on a baby Grey after almost 12 months of consideration reading and research!

I have (eventually) found a breeder we are happy with, who is local to us and who will not let us have the grey before 12-13 weeks old (others had wanted us to finish of weaning from 8 and 9 weeks old!). His birds are hand-reared, close rung (I know thats a debatable one), come with papers etc and he has a number of chicks in wait.

 

I basically have two main concerns or questions...

1/ What sex do we plump for and do you grey owners feel it has much bearing?

 

Ive read males can be slightly more aggressive with their 'sparring' but that its best to humour or ignore their attempts & nips when they have their moments and not react. Also, that males tend to be more outgoing and are more likely to initiate or instigate friendships with people and are happy to be handled.

 

I have read that females on the other hand can be much more quiet, less social and disinclined to interact with people; actively resisting handling much more so than males and potentially become 'one person birds' more easily than males. Do females have 'pms'-type moments?

 

The breeder has recommended we have a hen as I will be the main carer and work from home (its also me who has instigated the acquiring of a bird in the first place) but everything I have read seems to point to the likely hood of the female preferring females! 'We have a hen but she wont go near my husband' type of situation seems all too common.

 

 

2/ Can a bird, 6-8 weeks old, really 'pick' you ?

 

I have suggested to the breeder that I would like to visit the birds again this weekend, there are 2 and they will be 7-8 weeks old, to see if one particularly 'picks' us out. He said I was welcome but followed it up with "it won't remember you". A little abrupt, but how much weight do you put on this philosophy?

 

In his defence he has said he often tries to pair birds off with customers, so if someone has experience he may offer them the more rowdy or active bird, and if its a first-time owner perhaps the more docile / calmer personalities are better suited.

 

 

We need to make a decision on which sex we want ASAP and after hours of reading and searching are no further forward. We plan to socialise it and both spend time as much as possible, evenly to hopefully bring up a well socialised bird but really feel some advice would help re the sexes and 'bird choosing you' idea.

 

Any info, advice and experiences with babies you can share would be much appreciated!

 

Thanks in advance!

[SRSeedBurners]

I wouldn't put too much weight on gender. If you have the opportunity to go visit them and see which one you meld with, that's a better option than picking based on stereotypes.

 

 

Our female is rowdy, she likes me best (male) but loves my wife too and will contact call and get unsettled if she leaves the house. She is not quiet most of the time and is our hardest to handle bird, always getting into or causing trouble. Sound like a male? Well, she's not. There's a lot more weight in what you do after they come home than in the categories you'll read about on the net. Just like a kid, they will have their own distinctive personalities but will be in the 'formative years' when they are new in your home.

[PhillyT]

Did you choose to have a female Sterling? How did you decide?

 

There are 2 birds at 7-8 weeks old, so obviously a choice of 2, but he also has another clutch of 4 or 5 who are only 3-4 weeks old... more choice, but surely even less likely to know what they're doing to be able to 'pick' out their human, no?

[Timbersmom]

I haven't seen anything on the forum (which I trust since the people here have birds in their home) about gender being an issue in temperament. In fact, some of us still don't know the gender of our rehome (for example). As Sterling said, gender doesn't seem to mean much. It is more of a personality thing, much like people.

 

How excited you must be! Can't wait to see pics after your visit. Good luck and God bless

[Talon]

I'm not so sure about gender & behavior in greys, but there definitely is in Amazons.

[SRSeedBurners]

Did you choose to have a female Sterling? How did you decide?

 

There are 2 birds at 7-8 weeks old, so obviously a choice of 2, but he also has another clutch of 4 or 5 who are only 3-4 weeks old... more choice, but surely even less likely to know what they're doing to be able to 'pick' out their human, no?

 

 

My preference was a female as that's what I had 20 years ago, but would have easily taken a male. My 'big' qualifications were that the breeder knew what she was doing (abundance weaning) and keeping baby flighted. When we visited I actually wanted the female that was taken already. I remember that one being a real sweety as a 4mo old. Greycie was sort of - "hi whatchya doing - see ya later" kind of bird. The breeder kept trying to convince me that the other one was sure to be a velcro bird and not something I would want but it's all hogwash to me. They will somewhat become what you make of them, with their own will and desires mixed in.

 

I also don't buy into the 'picking' their human at that age either. I have experienced that with older, rescue type birds but don't think they do that at such a young age. A baby that will go to you, will probably go to the next person that shows up to - personality.

 

We recently got a baby Jardines and I was hellbent on getting a female because we lost a female we had last year that was such a super sweety with my wife. Jardines are incredibly hard to find so I had to with what I could find - a male 6 hours away. We went and got him and he's the sweetest thing ever, with a touch of a temper to go with it. I say don't put too much into the picking process. Just treat them right and let the fun times begin.

 

Now if we're talking Caiques...different story. THe males can be....males - oh boy am I in for it in about 2-3 years.

[kpflynn]

I have a female grey. I'm a male. She loves me and tolerates my wife. I can play with her like she is a puppy. I will tickle her under her wings and she'll run away giggling. She'll then run right back and lift her wings to be tickled again. She will let me hold her on her back and rock her like a baby. She is very active. She plays and talks almost non-stop. Although I've only had her since January I've never been bitten. I don't know if this is normal for a female. She is 13 months old.

[chezron]

Hi KP,

I hope you share all the fun times you are having with your grey on the forum.

 

Personally, I don't think gender matters at all, but the unique personality of the bird is what counts in the long run. My guy picked me when he was a few months old. I had looked and and held many different African Greys, for a over a year, before I found Brutus. I do think there are things you can tell for example: is the bird anxious and neurotic, is he or she sweet, or fearful? I think go with your gut feeling and go with a sweet calm bird, regardless of the sex, and you will be fine. That is, unless you don't want a sweet calm bird, and you may not.

Edited June 20, 2014 by chezron

[Muse]

Hi, PhillyT,

I think Greys are much like humans. You can't say "all female humans are...." or "all male humans are..." - each individual has their own personality. With our babies, Marden, our boy, was sweet and gentle, and Megan, our girl, is high-strung and bitey. She's also super intelligent, has a huge vocabulary, and has talked since she was three months old. Quiet? Oh hahahaha. Mar was a very quiet bird. He rarely talked. He did vocalize when he was playing but the rest of the time he was very quiet. And our "hen" adores her daddy but tolerates me. And I do believe in babies picking you. Mar picked me, without a doubt.

 

Good luck and congratulations on becoming new 'parronts.'