African grey hates me :-(

[Tablamsmitch]

Hi,

I have an African grey boy who is 8 years old and he lives in my family home, he bonded with me at first but now he hates me and only loves my dad, he will cuddle up to him and respond to him however with me he will go out of his way to bite me. He his cage is a large size spends most of his time of the cage near a window which he loves. He has a normal parrot diet has fresh food and water everyday, he has plenty of toys things to keep him occupied, he has the radio on all day. I don't know what to do to get him to bond with me or us it too late??? Is there any advice anyone can give me?

 

Thanks in advanced.

 

Tablamsmitch

[Luvparrots]

Welcome to the Grey family Tablamsmitch. There is no way to make a grey like one person more than another. They have their own attitudes and feelings. That's what we love most about them. I live alone so I do not have this problem with my gang. It's me or no one. I do have a rehomed BF zon that prefers guys but he and I have an understanding and we have worked out an arrangement that works for both of us. You might try letting your grey come to you. Be eating something he really likes and let him come to you to share.

[murfchck]

I will agree with that. I have one that her favorite past time is drawing my blood, until I have something she likes. It is tough on us not chosen but when they do decide we are ok, it is a great rewarding feeling.

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

Your bird doesn't hate you! Your bird is doing what is natural! Bonding with one person. Thats what greys do! If you " change" a greys plan, and have the support of all family members that are important, you can change their plan. You just have to be on the SAME plan! My kids and I stuck like glue in establishing plans for

Sophie. If anyone felt weak... call me at work. Many calls! In the end... I have a grey that knows what we expect of her, can skype with my son in North Carolina, goes crazy when my other son Sean comes home from college, and is ready and willing to stepup the moment I walk in the door when I get home from work.I couldn't ask for anything more! We developed our plan, we stuck together, and now we have an AMAZING bird! It is always a family event. Nancy

[katana600]

Hi, welcome to the forum. What is your grey's name? Your dad can be a huge advocate in gaining acceptance for you and that's a good start. When our bird was treating our daughter as an intruder during college breaks we all worked together to help forge a better relationship. If you could be the one bringing treats and spending time with him when your dad isn't in the room, that might help. We would all leave Java upstairs alone as we went to the den in the basement. After a few minutes, we would send our daughter with a perch to offer to "rescue" her and bring her to the flock. We have a rehomed parrot and she liked me best in the beginning but she has been snubbing me for my husband for a while now. He will chide her and support me. Time, patience and not pushing him too hard will pay off in time.

[Timbersmom]

Yes, as the others have pointed out, not being the "chosen one" doesn't mean you can't have a good relationship. It takes time and patience though.

[Brat Birds]

Ahh 'the chosen one' what an honor! Until the Grey decides it is time to change! LOL As others have said, you may never be 'the chosen one' but you can be the 'this one is OK' one until the chosen one comes into the room. Patience and a lot of work - but it will be well worth it!!

[Tablamsmitch]

My boys name is Baylie, I can't get close enough to reward him to attempt to bond with him as he will lunge at me and just bite. Even if I walk past the cage and he will attempt to attack me. He will allow me to pick him up when he is on the floor.

I will try to get my dad to teach him to trust me. Thank you for all your advice.

 

Tablamsmitch

[ChrisC]

I'm new to Greys but I know quite abit about parakeets and other birds, I've seen birds have yearly cycles where they fall in & out of love (especially solitary boys) at a certain age. they can even fall in love with a dog or any other human or animal ! thats how it is with hand reared birds. be patient and maybe he will like you in the next cycle.

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

As you mentioned, your bird will give you the time of day off the floor. Sophie learned to bond with my kids off the floor. A neutral ground. Have dad get baby on the floor, you practice stepup off the floor between dad and you. Cages are a pain in the butt... they are very territorial about their cage. For me... its a place to sleep and eat in the beginning... their home. Practice stepup AWAY from the cage. Once trust is established, and it may take sometime...give your bird a tour of the home... wrist only, make it fun! If you are consistent, involve your dad with the interactions, you will find yourself with a bird that will be chasing you to pick them up! A decade later... that is Sophie. She will stepup to all of us! I make sure we dont take her for granted, and have stressed this belief with my kids. We are lucky and have been chosen by Sophie to be adopted. We dont put her back in her cage for our convience. Hand her off if you have something to do.( she has several other friends that she will stepup too!) Trust is the one and only ingredient you need to have a bird that is amazing! Nancy

[judygram]

Your grey does not hate you but they do tend to pick favorites and there is not much you can do to persuade them otherwise but that doesn't mean you can't have a good relationship with him just different from the one he has with your dad. My grey is bonded to me and wouldn't have much to do with my hubby but now she comes to him on her terms and sits with him for a while and gives kisses so have patience and give it a lot of time.