How Our Emotions Affect Our Greys

[JeffNOK]

Last month I posted about my time on jury duty. It was a horrible capital murder case with weeks of disturbing testimony, images I can't forget, grieving family members, and weighty decisions. I was fortunate that I had a great support system to spend time with Gracie my CAG while I was away many evenings rather late. I tried to be cheerful and hide my feeling with Gracie, but she saw right through it all. Gracie is not very tactile with me, but for weeks during the trial and afterwards she would fly to me and land on me and just be close. She would sit on my arm and sing and coo and try in her way to make me feel better. She would always ask "What's the matter? Don't worry-be happy. Gracie loves Daddy." I'm starting to feel better and distance myself from the experience and Gracie is back to her old self. It just amazes me how discerning and empathetic our fids are. Have any of you experienced behavior changes in your greys when you are going through a hard time?

[SRSeedBurners]

Yep - Greycie tries to get in the middle of our fights. Uh, yeah I'm married and we fight like cat and dog sometimes. She doesn't like the yelling and loud raucous behavior. She actually tries to stop it by making a shriek that she doesn't make at any other time and will sometimes get on my shoulder and try desperately to get my attention to distract - I guess that's what she's doing. I feel bad about it sometimes and try to get her into the bird room and all the doors closed and radio on before I go and resume. She seems to discern between the fights and the times when we're going nuts with loud music and carrying on - that she really gets into and does her Pterrordactyls, swinging from her toys and joining in on the fun.

[chezron]

Jeff,

That experience sounds really traumatic! Sorry you had to go through it. Good thing you had your empathetic Gracie!

[Ray P]

Both my grey Corky and my amazon Cricket can read our emotions.

My wife has been in and of the hospital this past year and one time for a heart attack.

Both Corky and Cricket know before the wife is out of bead in the morning how she feels.

If the wife dose not feel good in the morning, and this is before she gets up, they do not make a sound and let her sleep.

If she feels good in the morning than all hell breaks out and she has to get up.

[Greywings]

Yep they are stress readers, nice they can commiserate with us when we are needy. A shame they have to suffer though the in home stresses with their humans conflicts. At least they can share in our joys and triumphs to balance things out.

[Acappella]

I am glad the trial is over. I think counselling should be offered to jurors in cases like these where you've had to see and hear things nobody should have to. It's so sweet that Gracie tried to take care of you. I have Fibromyalgia and migraines. If I'm having a bad day and I need to lay down through the day for a nap, Dorian sits quietly, plays quietly, and let's me, even if it's through his normal "loud" time. There's no doubt they can pick up how we're feeling and empathize.

[Inara]

Their brains are much, much older than ours evolutionarily speaking. I had read a journal article that indicated that the centers of the brain that are associated with empathy are more highly developed in Greys than they are in us. This makes sense for a creature who lives their (natural) life in groups/flocks of up to 10,000 birds (prior to all the harvesting and trapping). Empathy and ability to read body language would have to be highly developed in order to "keep the peace."

 

Am very sorry to hear of your disturbing experience with jury duty. There can be quite a bit of vicarious trauma for jurors in such cases, and can take some time to be able to eventually put the experience behind you. So glad your Gracie is there to smooth your own "feathers."

[Mistyparrot]

Yep - Greycie tries to get in the middle of our fights. Uh, yeah I'm married and we fight like cat and dog sometimes. ………………....

 

Hmm. Obviously the moral is don't fight in front of kids or fids or dogs for that matter. I am not sure cats care as much.

 

Steve n Misty

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

Jeff... I feel your pain! I was a juror for a " rape of a child!" It sucked! I didn't have Sophie back then. I wish I did! Sophie knows when I have had a bad day. I get " extra preened", and she gives me a ton of comforting measures. My favorite is " awwww" with kisses. I don't need to tell Sophie about my bad day, because she wouldn't understand what I was telling her. I've learned I don't need to tell her anything....she knows when I need her emotionally, as I know when she needs me Nancy

[JeffNOK]

Kins... I can't imagine being on a child rape case. The case I was on was a very high profile case in Tulsa. A young couple was robbed and shot execution style for a couple of cell phones and the keys to a car. They were new to town and just falling in love. So senseless. We ended up giving two life without parole sentences, but many in the community were outraged it wasn't a death sentence. The internet blew up with locals criticizing the jury and saying we failed and were spineless. That was as hard as the trial itself. Nobody really understands what it is like to make decisions about life or death until you are in that situation. The saving grace was that the victims' families waited after the verdict to thank us. They said they didn't really want a death sentence because it would mean 15-20 years of appeals and the whole case being drug up again and again each time. This way they have closure and know the culprit will never be free and on the streets again. As you know, one of the hardest things about being a juror is that you can't talk to ANYONE about what you are going through. I couldn't even watch the news. God and Gracie were my confidants during those days.

[Brat Birds]

Both my Grey, Peanut, and my Sun, Skittles will be extra giving of their kisses when I hurt. Skits will run from one shoulder to the other kissing each cheek. Peanut has come over and just pressed his beak onto my nose (that is our 'kiss') and will keep it there until I calm down. He did this the first time when I was reading a story about how someone had taken a mother Grey from her babies in the wild. I was softly crying and he came over to help.

[katana600]

First, thank you Jeff for your juror service. There are so many people who do every possible thing to get excused and I know that is the first thing we think of when we know what we could be facing. It is so important to our justice system but few people really understand the impact on the additional twelve innocent "collateral damage" humans tainted by the sights and descriptions to which they are subjected. Add to that the media coverage and second guessing by all the people who didn't sit in those twelve chairs. I do hope the affirmations from family of the victims helps to balance the stress you felt in the process. Also, it is no small thing that you were a voice that those young people were denied in the crime. I do believe our greys have empathy and are I believe Gracie was your lifeline and comfort. Gilbert has been with me on a hospice team twice. She was a comfort and funny distraction for all of us. When I came home the first time, I was awake late at night, exhausted and bereft. She is very much a hands off parrot and moreso at that time. But, she climbed to the arm of the sofa, walked across the back to where I had my head back and my eyes closed when I felt her touch my face. I was really scared because the only touch she had given me to that date was to bite. She felt my entire face like a blind person "reading" me. That was a profoundly moving experience and marked a beginning for her to let go of her own baggage and start living with me instead of just tolerating us.

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

JeffNOK... it may take sometime to heal from your juror experience. It is shocking.... what jurors go through! What concerned me most with my case, was their was a " divorce" going on. I'm certainly not stupid, and understand the " divorce" dynamics. I'm a nurse that works in radiology and deals with child abuse cases daily, I was shocked that they approved me to be on jury. The whole process was very emotional, and after we said guilty, it was a tough call. It sucked even more that we learned of his past after the guilty verdict. He had done it before. It was a close call....and we didn't learn of his past until after our verdict. It made me realize our judicial system that we truly believe in, is NOT written in stone! Nancy